₦airaland Forum

Persephone1:
Thank you very much

You're welcome.

folake4u:
You're welcome.

I have a kind of *blurry, fuzzy* topic idea in mind.

I don't know how it may turn out, though, it sounds and plays interestingly out in my head... I can only hope the nuances and ranges to it come out .

It's simply about "Soft Life." This trend, the rise of it... I don't think anyone who has been on any social media network hasn't heard of that phrase. (And a luxury lifestyle on the side).

For sometime, though, hearing that term has been rubbing me up in some weird, odd way.

And now I just came across a tweet that spurred me again.

https://twitter.com/NonhleBeryl/status/1579571242914713600?t=oPwgeUenuOfKtKeP2zVDLQ&s=19

Perhaps it might pick up more traction later on, but I would love to hear you ladies thoughts.

cc: Ishilove
Persephone
Pocohantas
Uyailncomparabl
PrimaDonnaO
Cococandy
Farfalla
Klass99 (I know you're cleaning up, but we hope you can share something insightful for the time being? )

Who or what exactly is a soft babe? What does it mean, lol?

I mean I kinda have an idea in my head, but tbh, the only clear picture I can see is an 'aesthetic(s)'. Does being a soft babe covers character? Or it's something a girl gets to decide for her?

Ohh, a "clean babe" too. Is this simply about hygiene or beauty? I feel when people use it, it goes beyond just those two. But it's spinning my head why we have allll of these terms and qualifiers and everything.

Or maybe it's not a big deal and I am just overthinking it.

Still on this topic too, there are young girls saving up to buy wigs. And I honestly don't get the logic behind that.

- Saving to buy hairs isn't wrong
- Working women can very well afford to pamper and treat themselves
- People can do whatever they want to do, and it is their business at the end.

But there's a particular demography (students ate one) who are barely able to save or feed using the little money they have for investing in "appearances".

I think that's the right word. Social appearances from looks to clothes to a 'bought class' and trying to keep up with (what/whoever else is the current thing other than the Joneses), and I really do not get it.

Hehehehe @ begoniaa This table wey you dey shake ehn.

Hmmm. Where do I start from now?

Okay. From the Twitter handle you shared, here are my thoughts.

I'd say we're in a Gig/Social media economy that if you're not doing this or in a certain level, you're outdated, missing out of all the fun or BOTH.
It's not even helping matters that your agemates or friends are doing well and there's just you STUCK and nothing to show for. For instance, most people see LinkedIn as a "show off" platform that makes one depressed and question your life as if you're not making progress in life. It is only the strong in heart that cannot be swayed by all those peppering activities.

begoniaa:
Who or what exactly is a soft babe? What does it mean, lol?

I mean I kinda have an idea in my head, but tbh, the only clear picture I can see is an 'aesthetic(s)'. Does being a soft babe covers character? Or it's something a girl gets to decide for her?

Ohh, a "clean babe" too. Is this simply about hygiene or beauty? I feel when people use it, it goes beyond just those two. But it's spinning my head why we have allll of these terms and qualifiers and everything.

Or maybe it's not a big deal and I am just overthinking it.

Soft babe to the average Nigerian means:
1. Enjoyment babe.( in terms of adventure,hangouts etc).
2. Stress- free girl.
3. Physical endowment.
4. Girl is from an affluent home.


And no, Soft babe doesn't cover character at all.

A clean babe is not about hygiene all the time oh. It is a slang that guys use most times to say the babe is beautiful OR she's actually clean down there.

begoniaa:
Still on this topic too, there are young girls saving up to buy wigs. And I honestly don't get the logic behind that.

- Saving to buy hairs isn't wrong
- Working women can very well afford to pamper and treat themselves
- People can do whatever they want to do, and it is their business at the end.

But there's a particular demography (students ate one) who are barely able to save or feed using the little money they have for investing in "appearances".

I think that's the right word. Social appearances from looks to clothes to a 'bought class' and trying to keep up with (what/whoever else is the current thing other than the Joneses), and I really do not get it.

Lmao. I really don't see the big deal in students saving money to buy wigs and all.
Everyone has priorities and I think I respect the choices they make too.

Now to myself, even when I was still an undergrad, I didn't save money to buy wigs oh. My own na belle first. But yeah, my friends would starve because they wanted to save money and buy wigs.
One even sold her hostel space to buy the reigning iPhone that time and squatted with another friend.

It all boils down to priority, choices and scale of preference.(I don't remember Economics but yeah)

There are still some working class women who do not prioritise spending money to look good and take care of themselves. Yes. They exist.

***************************************
I'm not even working class yet but earlier today,I was scrolling on Twitter and checking vacation spots in African countries for MYSELF.
Another person might see what I'm doing as a waste of time and rather use that money to buy an iPhone 14 or two bone straight hair.

It's all individual preferences, Maggie.

folake4u:
Hehehehe @ begoniaa This table wey you dey shake ehn.

Ahhh. It's table shaking?

begoniaa:
Ahhh. It's table shaking?

It is oh.

folake4u:
Lmao. I really don't see the big deal in students saving money to buy wigs and all.
Everyone has priorities and I think I respect the choices they make too.

Now to myself, even when I was still an undergrad, I didn't save money to buy wigs oh. My own na belle first. But yeah, my friends would starve because they wanted to save money and buy wigs.
One even sold her hostel space to buy the reigning iPhone that time and squatted with another friend.

It all boils down to priority, choices and scale of preference.(I don't remember Economics but yeah)

There are still some working class women who do not prioritise spending money to look good and take care of themselves. Yes. They exist.

***************************************
I'm not even working class yet but earlier today,I was scrolling on Twitter and checking vacation spots in African countries for MYSELF.
Another person might see what I'm doing as a waste of time and rather use that money to buy an iPhone 14 or two bone straight hair.

It's all individual preferences, Maggie.

Okay. Your last paragraph. To be honest, I completely understand you. I get it, trust me. That sentiment is enjoying life, life is short and yeah, there's really no point making money that you cannot enjoy. You don't have to have big before you can enjoy yourself.

All I'm just looking at is the balance, you know? That's my opinion on people who do stuff like that: the ones who are not finally stable with zero money management and they go squatting, starving, etc. vs. the one's who make all the money in the whole world but are miser and don't spend it on themselves.

The one who spends every kobo is as bad as the one who doesn't spend a kobo.

So yeah, I get it's all their preferences, and they "technically" may not be hurting anyone and I can't go and flog them, I still think it is nonetheless an unwise financial decision.

Begoniaa the topic of soft life is really more complex than what it’s become simplified into. Believe it or not, it’s tied to race.

Originally, it’s a hashtag black women came up with to share aesthetics of themselves living a stress free struggle free life (not necessarily rich lifestyle). Because historically, they have not been given the opportunity to not always be the strong black woman. Raising kids alone while waiting for the man who’s been racially profiled and locked up. Holding the forte down, making do with little. You get the picture.


I don’t know which one of them big creators initially came up with the idea but it took off really well with black women sharing their experiences about how people tend to get uncomfortable when they are seen living what could be termed a luxury life, that used to be seen as something reserved for white women.

But of course it became competitive (not surprisingly lol) and bastardized as trends tend to get. So now, instead of showing the side of black women that they weren’t originally permitted to have, it’s become a competition of whose life is better. I can understand why that would raise eyebrows sometimes.

As far as who should get to have the soft life according to stages of life, that twitter lady sounds like she’s making sense until you unpack it. Some people will never get there unfortunately and some will get there early on. Going by her tweet, a person in their 30-40 would be understandably bitter if an adolescent or early twenties adult starts to live a luxury life before them. I mean they’ve been through the trenches, put in their decade and should start seeing the results but here’s a 23 year old who hasn’t really experienced any hardship living a good life.

Well we all know it doesn’t work like that unfortunately.

Also keeping up with the joneses is not a new thing. Soft life is just the trending hashtag for it now.
If you add soft life to the hashtags, you get more views and likes.

Matter of fact I’ll be right back. Let me go add a softlife hashtag. Lol

begoniaa:
Okay. Your last paragraph. To be honest, I completely understand you. I get it, trust me. That sentiment is enjoying life, life is short and yeah, there's really no point making money that you cannot enjoy. You don't have to have big before you can enjoy yourself.

All I'm just looking at is the balance, you know? That's my opinion on people who do stuff like that: the ones who are not finally stable with zero money management and they go squatting, starving, etc. vs. the one's who make all the money in the whole world but are miser and don't spend it on themselves.

The one who spends every kobo is as bad as the one who doesn't spend a kobo.

So yeah, I get it's all their preferences, and they "technically" may not be hurting anyone and I can't go and flog them, I still think it is nonetheless an unwise financial decision.

And something to add: I know the world has become highly commercialized, and things expensive all thanks to capitalism, so I am not coming from a classist perspective.

Life is hard enough and people should take breaks when and as needed.

Nobody can guarantee tomorrow, true, but the flip side is that there's a chances of plenty tomorrows. You may just live to be 80 years old, so while each day should be taken as it comes, it is also prudent to have foresight.

All on this enjoyment and savings and spending and (contigent) plannings for future matter.

So while I get that people who can't afford enough should be able to enjoy things, it doesn't mean they should "overlive" beyond their spending capacities, and thereby getting or digging themselves into more of the same circle of exactly where they are.

I know the prices of things are racing in the economy and people who don't have money may be forced to spend the little they have on products, yet, there should still be a scale of preference for the things they spend on, especially if they would like to be financially independent.

So basically, capitalism has rules, yeah. Don't play by it all of you don't want the life sucked out of you, but still play some smart standard ones, find loopholes (that doesn't involve exploitation sha) and building wealth, something for yourself.

cc: Folake4u

cococandy:
Also keeping up with the joneses is not a new thing. Soft life is just the trending hashtag for it now.
If you add soft life to the hashtags, you get more views and likes.

Matter of fact I’ll be right back. Let me go add a softlife hashtag. Lol

Sure, it is not .

Maybe it's just me, the way it's being portrayed just seemed like some sort of Holy Grail thing.

cococandy:
Begonia the topic of soft life is really more complex than what it’s become simplified into. Believe it or not, it’s tied to race.

Originally, it’s a hashtag black women came up with to share aesthetics of themselves living a stress free struggle free life (not necessarily rich lifestyle). Because historically, they have not been given the opportunity to not always be the strong black woman. Raising kids alone while waiting for the man who’s been racially profiled and locked up. Holding the forte down, making do with little. You get the picture.

I don’t know which one of them big creators initially came up with the idea but it took off really well with black women sharing their experiences about how people tend to get uncomfortable when they are seen living what could be termed a luxury life, that used to be seen as something reserved for white women.

But of course it became competitive (not surprisingly lol) and bastardized as trends tend to get. So now, instead of showing the side of black women that they weren’t originally permitted to have, it’s become a competition of whose life is better. I can understand why that would raise eyebrows sometimes.

Thank you for this summary. This is really like the insight into it, and my perspective on it summarised.

I know a little all about the history as well. Black luxury. Yes, and that's totally fine and is something i support. But now that it's something mainstream and virtually accessible to everyone, it's become banal. More often than not, just typing the words in Google search alone and you're inundated with pictures that only shows MONEY.

As far as who should get to have the soft life according to stages of life, that twitter lady sounds like she’s making sense until you unpack it. Some people will never get there unfortunately and some will get there early on. Going by her tweet, a person in their 30-40 would be understandably bitter if an adolescent or early twenties adult starts to live a luxury life before them. I mean they’ve been through the trenches, put in their decade and should start seeing the results but here’s a 23 year old who hasn’t really experienced any hardship living a good life.

Well we all know it doesn’t work like that unfortunately.

Yeah, I admit that the tweet assumes that life follows a straight course. Graduate from secondary @, gain admission @, do Masters @, get a job @, marry @, have kids @...

Or rather that's what the tweets-thread seemingly show, but I think what their main point is is that people should not put a pressure on themselves nor compare themselves to others. And there are some experiences that actually comes with age and putting in of work. This ties into what I am saying to Folake too. Why someone who's paid their dues is rich at 30 and another who's also paid isn't rich.

So the tweet has an angle basically. It is talking about the 30s and 40s year old who are successful as a result of effort, consistency, discipline, improvement, etc., and a 20-something y/o who hasn't "paid" these exact same thing is looking up to them, thinking they're a failure for not doing the same things at their age, because there are sometimes that will only come with age and time. That was the direction of the tweet.

And if there are other 23 y/os doing same, there is nothing wrong. But not everyone has the same stage, platforms and leverage in life. So for you who don't have and are still climbing, it's perfectly okay to go through an amateur and a broke stage in your life.

You're not a failure for not having what other people of other ages are having.

folake4u:
And no, Soft babe doesn't cover character at all.

Oh. I see.

A clean babe is not about hygiene all the time oh. It is a slang that guys use most times to say the babe is beautiful OR she's actually clean down there.

I see too.

I won't lie, the way I hear these phrases being used, you would think it is something all-encompassing sontin o.

But now that it's something mainstream and virtually accessible to everyone, it's become banal. More often than not, just typing the words in Google search alone and you're inundated with pictures that only shows MONEY.

Instagram used to be the culprit. Now it’s TikTok.

“Soft life”
“A day in my life”
“How much I spent in a day”.

These are the three genres holding them in a chokehold and it’s mostly about people trying to outdo their favorite influencers.

But not everyone has the same stage, platforms and leverage in life. So for you who don't have and are still climbing, it's perfectly okay to go through an amateur and a broke stage in your life.

You're not a failure for not having what other people of other ages are having.

A word!

Yesterday was the international day of the girl child.
all i have to say is all female children are important no matter what. Do not let any one tell you that you can't rise above society standards. But now in this era you have been given the opportunity. Do not ask why your community is not letting you succeed ask yourself what you can do to make you community better

cococandy:
Instagram used to be the culprit. Now it’s TikTok.

“Soft life”
“A day in my life”
“How much I spent in a day”.

These are the three genres holding them in a chokehold and it’s mostly about people trying to outdo their favorite influencers.

One was like "wake with me as an escort" lmao. And she was just literally showing her morning routine, absolutely nun different from what anybody else would have done, so why attaching it to you being an escort?

And this lady trended on Twitter too; from all from looks, she goes to a restaurant just to spot out men who give provider energy and single out to pay for her meals. She has a whole a*s page dedicated to things like that. Some feminine attractive energy thing.

Did you see that one Folake4u? And ironically, in contrast to this "table" it seems I am shaking here, I don't see why that lady was getting so much heat. I really, absolutely do not.

Although, I'll only hope she has some form of savings and brand engagements she gets that give her a financial security, if not, it doesn't really make sense have zero job and just living a lifestyle of hanging out with cool men in peng places as each day comes by.

Oh lord. Don’t get me started on feminine energy. I’ll be glad the day it stops trending.

begoniaa:
One was like "wake with me as an escort" lmao. And she was just literally showing her morning routine, absolutely nun different from what anybody else would have done, so why attaching it to you being an escort?

And this lady trended on Twitter too; from all from looks, she goes to a restaurant just to spot out men who give provider energy and single out to pay for her meals. She has a whole a*s page dedicated to things like that. Some feminine attractive energy thing.

Did you see that one Folake4u? And ironically, in contrast to this "table" it seems I am shaking here, I don't see why that lady was getting so much heat. I really, absolutely do not.

Although, I'll only hope she has some form of savings and brand engagements she gets that give her a financial security, if not, it doesn't really make sense have zero job and just living a lifestyle of hanging out with cool men in peng places as each day comes by.

cococandy:
Instagram used to be the culprit. Now it’s TikTok.

“Soft life”
“A day in my life”
“How much I spent in a day”.

These are the three genres holding them in a chokehold and it’s mostly about people trying to outdo their favorite influencers.

I almost choked on my drink.

Interestingly, I love those soft life videos. I love women that are intentional about spoiling themselves. It was something I never knew how to do until recently. I am still in stage 1 despite my efforts. So when I see women that do it effortlessly, I admire them. I don’t hate. I don’t assume their husband/partner is beating them behind closed doors. I just enjoy the view.

More reason I visit IG and TikTok. Those ones just want to enjoy life. Unlike Nlders that are too bitter.

pocohantas:
Unlike Nlders that are too bitter.

I would honestly love to know the reason for this. Not seriously.

It must not be only anonymity?

cococandy:
Oh lord. Don’t get me started on feminine energy. I’ll be glad the day it stops trending.

It's so willld, lmao.

begoniaa:
I would honestly love to know the reason for this. Not seriously.

It must not be only anonymity?
.

It is who they are. Then the anonymity helps them thrive. It is Nlders that migrated to Twitter and started savagery there. Never seen an cluster of bitter and angry people like we have on this forum.

begoniaa:
One was like "wake with me as an escort" lmao. And she was just literally showing her morning routine, absolutely nun different from what anybody else would have done, so why attaching it to you being an escort?

And this lady trended on Twitter too; from all from looks, she goes to a restaurant just to spot out men who give provider energy and single out to pay for her meals. She has a whole a*s page dedicated to things like that. Some feminine attractive energy thing.

Did you see that one Folake4u? And ironically, in contrast to this "table" it seems I am shaking here, I don't see why that lady was getting so much heat. I really, absolutely do not.

Although, I'll only hope she has some form of savings and brand engagements she gets that give her a financial security, if not, it doesn't really make sense have zero job and just living a lifestyle of hanging out with cool men in peng places as each day comes by.

Omoo! Sorry dear for the late replies.
I had a very busy day.

I saw one video on Twitter one time sha. The chic dressed up to an expensive restaurant with the hopes of a guy paying her bills.
I don't know if it's the same video though.

Na interesting people full this world sha.

begoniaa:
Okay. Your last paragraph. To be honest, I completely understand you. I get it, trust me. That sentiment is enjoying life, life is short and yeah, there's really no point making money that you cannot enjoy. You don't have to have big before you can enjoy yourself.

All I'm just looking at is the balance, you know? That's my opinion on people who do stuff like that: the ones who are not finally stable with zero money management and they go squatting, starving, etc. vs. the one's who make all the money in the whole world but are miser and don't spend it on themselves.

The one who spends every kobo is as bad as the one who doesn't spend a kobo.

So yeah, I get it's all their preferences, and they "technically" may not be hurting anyone and I can't go and flog them, I still think it is nonetheless an unwise financial decision.

It is...

pocohantas:
It is...

Babe, I sent you a mail. I'll like to discuss something with you, please.

folake4u:
Omoo! Sorry dear for the late replies.
I had a very busy day.

I saw one video on Twitter one time sha. The chic dressed up to an expensive restaurant with the hopes of a guy paying her bills.
I don't know if it's the same video though.

Na interesting people full this world sha.

It's the same o.

begoniaa:
I have a kind of *blurry, fuzzy* topic idea in mind.

I don't know how it may turn out, though, it sounds and plays interestingly out in my head... I can only hope the nuances and ranges to it come out .

It's simply about "Soft Life." This trend, the rise of it... I don't think anyone who has been on any social media network hasn't heard of that phrase. (And a luxury lifestyle on the side).

For sometime, though, hearing that term has been rubbing me up in some weird, odd way.

And now I just came across a tweet that spurred me again.

https://twitter.com/NonhleBeryl/status/1579571242914713600?t=oPwgeUenuOfKtKeP2zVDLQ&s=19

Perhaps it might pick up more traction later on, but I would love to hear you ladies thoughts.

cc:
Fárfalla

Hey begoniaa! I've just logged in after being away for a while, so I have just seen your mention.

I will be back with my thoughts about this issue. Have a pleasant evening.

Farfalla:
Hey begoniaa! I've just logged in after being away for a while, so I have just seen your mention.

I will be back with my thoughts about this issue. Have a pleasant evening.

Alright.

folake4u:
Welcome to a new age PrimadonnaO and Persephone1 .
Sheybi una still dey do dinner party today?

Lol.

I've been buried in a state since Monday.

Thanks again, babe.