₦airaland Forum

begoniaa:
I have a kind of *blurry, fuzzy* topic idea in mind.

I don't know how it may turn out, though, it sounds and plays interestingly out in my head... I can only hope the nuances and ranges to it come out .

It's simply about "Soft Life." This trend, the rise of it... I don't think anyone who has been on any social media network hasn't heard of that phrase. (And a luxury lifestyle on the side).

For sometime, though, hearing that term has been rubbing me up in some weird, odd way.

And now I just came across a tweet that spurred me again.

https://twitter.com/NonhleBeryl/status/1579571242914713600?t=oPwgeUenuOfKtKeP2zVDLQ&s=19

Perhaps it might pick up more traction later on, but I would love to hear you ladies thoughts. )

begoniaa:
I have a kind of *blurry, fuzzy* topic idea in mind.

I don't know how it may turn out, though, it sounds and plays interestingly out in my head... I can only hope the nuances and ranges to it come out .

It's simply about "Soft Life." This trend, the rise of it... I don't think anyone who has been on any social media network hasn't heard of that phrase. (And a luxury lifestyle on the side).

For sometime, though, hearing that term has been rubbing me up in some weird, odd way.

And now I just came across a tweet that spurred me again.

https://twitter.com/NonhleBeryl/status/1579571242914713600?t=oPwgeUenuOfKtKeP2zVDLQ&s=19

Perhaps it might pick up more traction later on, but I would love to hear you ladies thoughts.

g? )

PrimadonnaO:
Lol.

I've been buried in a state since Monday.

Thanks again, babe.

begoniaa:
Babe, I sent you a mail. I'll like to discuss something with you, please.

PrimadonnaO:
@begoniaa, this is a very valid discussion.

... and the tweet captures it correctly.
The race through life, and wanting to "arrive" before "arriving."

You may create the topic, there'll be so many of us lending our voices

begoniaa:
It's simply about "Soft Life." This trend, the rise of it... I don't think anyone who has been on any social media network hasn't heard of that phrase. (And a luxury lifestyle on the side).

For sometime, though, hearing that term has been rubbing me up in some weird, odd way.

And now I just came across a tweet that spurred me again.

https://twitter.com/NonhleBeryl/status/1579571242914713600?t=oPwgeUenuOfKtKeP2zVDLQ&s=19

Perhaps it might pick up more traction later on, but I would love to hear you ladies thoughts.

pocohantas:
Cococandy is your hair relaxed? I did the big chop, now grooming it again and it is so strong. Strangely hairdressers claim my hair is soft. Please don’t tell me leave-in conditioner and all that o. I have various products currently.

I don’t know my hair type, but it is deeply curled. Currently stretches to about 4 inches.

Can I do a blowout? I know heat is not good, but mehn, I currently dread making my hair. Considered locking it, but I shelved that.

pocohantas:
Thank you!! I was already sick and tired of the leave in conditioner talk. I began to think I am not applying right or using a cheap product. So, I bought two more. Glad to know I was right all along - it is not working mehn.

I’ll try this out. Thanks a lot.

Teespice:
You are so right. People gossip about others because certain information about the person is out for all to see. Even the ones who are very private, people would still gossip about them.

Thing is, you can't be in that kind of gathering and not be forced to say a few things but it's to be very mindful of what you say so it doesn't backfire. Learnt this the hard way in secondary school.

Farfalla:
Well, you always have this way of making me reveal stuff I'd rather keep out of Nairaland. CIA material.

What do I do for fun and relaxation?
Cure konji..!! That's the first thing that comes to mind. (You asked...!!)

Let me just say, fun to me doesn't necessarily involve a crowd or anything like that. Never been a crowd person. Never been a party animal, not even when I was Folàké's age.

I do go to the gym on some weekends whenever possible (such as tomorrow). Not fun at all at all. Not relaxing either but I sure do get a good night sleep later that day.

I am a very introverted individual surrounded by extroverted somebodies who prefer the outdoors so sometimes they pester me into accompanying them to explore different places and I do it for them, out of love and obligation.



Loud? You mean expressive?
Hypocritical and obnoxious people are everywhere Klass including where I am currently located.
I admire Nigerian women because they set certain financial standards for men. Why do you think they claim other African women are "humble"? It's because their standards in men are much lower. Non-Nigerian women believe so much in love and romance, and learn very late that love doesn't conquer anything.

Nigerian women learn very early what other African women learn at 38.

Farfalla:
About this, staying away from social media has kept me in the dark about quite a number of these so-called "trending topics". I only get to know about them from loved ones and acquaintances or when they appear as trending searches on Google. I'll honestly say I've heard zilch about this "Soft Life" trend but I can guess what it's all about.

Regarding the above tweet, I believe people have always strived to pursue certain things in life for reasons as simple as fitting into societal expectations or reasons as crazy as peppering friends and relations. It has only taken a new dimension since the advent of social media because, unlike in the past, where you had to be a part of someone's circle to even know where they worked, where they lived and what their houses looked like, all one needs to do nowadays is to be a friend of a friend on Facebook and a connection of a connection on LinkedIn and all the details about Mr. X, Mrs. Y and Miss Z will be there for everyone to see. Most times these personal (and sometimes untrue) details are deliberately uploaded to have a desired effect on village people, imaginary haters, ex-lovers, former schoolmates, former colleagues, etc.

It's not just about a 23-year old wishing to have the accomplishments of a 40-year old, most times it's peer competition. Jane wants to visit Seychelles because she saw Mary flaunting her travel pictures on FB. Peter takes a loan to buy a car because he spotted John, a guy he knew from his former neighbourhood posting a picture of himself posing in his car.
Of course there are people who are bound to feel like failures whenever they compare themselves with other people on social media, especially when you come from a society where everyone begins their "insults" with "your mates are.....[insert success index], while you're still....[insert index of failure]".

I don't see the situation getting any better. I'm very pessimistic about the effect of social media on young people's mental health. Unfortunately.

begoniaa:
I have a kind of *blurry, fuzzy* topic idea in mind.

I don't know how it may turn out, though, it sounds and plays interestingly out in my head... I can only hope the nuances and ranges to it come out .

It's simply about "Soft Life." This trend, the rise of it... I don't think anyone who has been on any social media network hasn't heard of that phrase. (And a luxury lifestyle on the side).

For sometime, though, hearing that term has been rubbing me up in some weird, odd way.

And now I just came across a tweet that spurred me again.

https://twitter.com/NonhleBeryl/status/1579571242914713600?t=oPwgeUenuOfKtKeP2zVDLQ&s=19

Perhaps it might pick up more traction later on, but I would love to hear you ladies thoughts.

Farfalla:
It's not just about a 23-year old wishing to have the accomplishments of a 40-year old, most times it's peer competition. Jane wants to visit Seychelles because she saw Mary flaunting her travel pictures on FB. Peter takes a loan to buy a car because he spotted John, a guy he knew from his former neighbourhood posting a picture of himself posing in his car.
Of course there are people who are bound to feel like failures whenever they compare themselves with other people on social media, especially when you come from a society where everyone begins their "insults" with "your mates are.....[insert success index], while you're still....[insert index of failure]".

I don't see the situation getting any better. I'm very pessimistic about the effect of social media on young people's mental health. Unfortunately.

bukatyne:
@bold:

Not necessarily.

Just smile when they talk

bukatyne:
Saw the abridged version on another handle.

Unfortunately, a lot of young people do not want to go through the growth process anymore. Also, in this age where we have successfully combating signs of physical aging, it is easy to think a 50 year old woman looking 20 is your mate.

I remember having a general discussion in the tweet with an older close acquaintance who said a lot of younger girls in their 20s admire her style and want to be like her now (a 40+ lady working over 20 years).

I stumbled on a thread by one Alex celebrity reporter where guys were lamenting that the pictures made 'hustlers' in their 20s look lazy. The people in the pictures were in their 50s just looking young.

Re: Soft life: from what I have seen, there are two sides to it;

1. The materialistic drive to it
2. The side discouraging 'struggle love' and normalizing women resting in their feminine, pampering themselves (to the level they can afford) and leaning on their male partners (if any).

bukatyne:
You can also try the greenhouse effect 2 or 3 times a week: Apply extra virgin olive oil to wet hair and cover with a Plastic cap/nylon etc overnight then apply leave -in conditioner/moisturizer/cream and style in the morning.

It would make your hair much softer over time.

bukatyne:
Try Mediana Leave In conditioner. I think it is a local brand.

bukatyne:
Coupled with the fact that mental/emotional stamina keeps depreciating daily.

begoniaa:
Thank you for sharing your insight on the topic, dear.

cococandy:
Yea this works perfectly for me. Fingers crossed it will work for you too. I did my final big chop during that first Covid outbreak after I got tired of chop, grow, relax, get tired/frustrated, chop again and repeat.

Now I mostly leave it alone. When in it’s natural state it looks like it’s short but when I blow out, I can see how much it’s growing.

Pics for encouragement

doggedfighter:
I missed the picture

folake4u:
I welcome all the Nairaland ladies to this Roundtable Discussion.

This thread is for chitchats, everything feminine, friendships, money-making opportunities(if any), useful information, and general discussions.

Shall we, Ladies?

Cc: Magnoliaa


And you didn't mention me , Lawyer?

Really ?
Persephone1
Pocohantas
Cococandy
ahnie
Geminita
Alexaonfleek
mysticgal
Klass99
Farfalla
AmazonTopaz
geekybabe
Ishilove
PrimadonnaO
Please tag other females. Thank you.

RULE 1: No lady should mention a male on the thread and if a male comments, he should be ignored.

cococandy:
Thank you gorgeous. Look if it helps, you’re not alone. Let’s just say last week I considered going bald again. So that I could properly dye it honey blonde . (Long story but I’ve been trying to color it. it’s hard to get it to be the color I want except I use bleach; which I don’t really want to).

For now it’s been two years since the first Covid. That’s how long I’ve stopped messing with it.
So I wanna say in a year or two you’ll see a big change if you’re patient . I wish you good luck

Oh and what made me go natural is that when I relax my hair is really weak and breaks off too easily

doggedfighter:
Does colouring or tinting weaken natural hair ?

Been contemplating that but afraid of my hair breaking.

cococandy:
it can especially if you bleach it before coloring. Once you color you have to handle it with care. Deep condition often

bukatyne:
Nice thread @folake4u

folake4u:
doggedfighter Nor vex for me biko nu. I didn't collate all their names at once. Anytime I remember a monicker,I add am for there.
E ma binu.

doggedfighter:
Does colouring or tinting weaken natural hair ?

Been contemplating that but afraid of my hair breaking.

doggedfighter:
Thou art forgiven


You should be through NLS by now ,abi.


I want to pop champagne !

folake4u:
It does oh. Except the dye you're using on the hair is a temporary one and can be washed out later.