| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Googledotcom: 5:07am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Why do women see their money as "my money" while that of the husband is "our money " ?
I am so ashamed of this OP. You parked out because of money, your husband did not cheat on you or any of sought. The next thing you did was to move out. All his money you've been eating since you got married, is it not more than 200k ?
Greedy and shameless woman like you. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by OgaDeyVex: 5:07am On Oct 25, 2022 |
IamMobisola:
Why would you withdraw money from your wife’s account without her permission? Is the account in your name? Na your money dey there? Why should anyone scan their partner of their hard earned money? The audacity for him to even say it’s his right as her husband to scam her or cheat her.
There are laws in developed countries that actually prohibits that and you will be arrested if your wife should report you.
Which bride price? Isn’t that the nonsense tradition of Africa? No be you carry your two legs go meet girl’s family say you wan marry her? So why would she return that when she wasn’t even the one it was paid to.
I must say, this post, is the way why Oga Dey Vex Since He Wake Up From him Sleep. You Are Sounding Like A Toxic Lady, So Sorry |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Amumaigwe: 5:09am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Gloriagee:
I kind of like you. The way some women are so unempathic to their fellow women is mind boggling....
Women are naturally unempathic to fellow. The only time they appear empathic is when one of them seems injured in her relationship, then all the bitter women cheated by love will rally to her her support to get back at men. Nothing personal. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by vee22: 5:09am On Oct 25, 2022 |
If all the money your husband has spent on u is not up to 200k then don't forgive him if he has spent that on you before and you can't forgive him leave him alone and file for a divorce your money our money my money my money. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by phemmyfour: 5:10am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.
I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...
Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.
3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.
My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.
How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.
No insult please, I have cried enough. You weren't ready for marriage age and maturity wise . You made many moves in error that a mature girl would have handled better. Both of you need counseling especially on conflict management. It's a pity 200k can tear your marriage apart, the foundation of your union should be revisited 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by farmboyy: 5:12am On Oct 25, 2022 |
I would have been happy to insult you before telling you my mind. 200k is not worthy a happy home. He might spent the money on you indirectly without you knowing only if he's a cheating husband. On the other hand it appears you find it difficult to forgive, which is also another indication that you have not been forgiven by God. This is because you can only give what you have. If you have been forgiven then you can forgive. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by GAZZUZZ(m): 5:14am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.
I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...
Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.
3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.
My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.
How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.
No insult please, I have cried enough. This marriage matter is not for children.
I now imagine what would happen if he had cheated, you would have burnt the house down.
Your husband is most likely into business reason he fraudulently got a kickback on your 600k deposit. But if you had critically looked at the matter, would he have allowed you finish building the property without a donation of a few hundreds of thousands in a few installments?
You sef no get sense, when you found out you for just lock up, honey I want to buy cement 350k help me add 50k so I can get half trailer, honey I want to buy wood help me add 70k in no time you would have double the 200k.
As children we almost all scammed our parents with bogus fees
Scammed our boi friends with bogus items
E reach your turn you pack out?
It's a good thing he stood his ground, he is clearly not a simp.
If you know what's good go back home and make restitution for your actions. Life is not Nollywood what he did was business with a family member (wife), bad as it was, the money would definitely have come back in one way or the other.
15 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by yugeelaz: 5:17am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Righteousness2:
My Sister, you have a right to be angry. Yes your husband has offended you.
But because of the Blood JESUS Christ shed on the cross of Calvary for your sins and my sins, Despite all our evil and wicked lives, Forgive him. Forget about the past.
You both should together go before GOD in Prayers. Forgive yourself and Build your Home on GOD and GOD'S Principles for the Home.
I Pray for you, the Peace of GOD that passed all human Understanding take over your life and your Home in JESUS Name.
Amen. Such a beautiful advice |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Isaacify: 5:27am On Oct 25, 2022 |
In marriage it's always said 1+1=1, but now because it's your money as a woman it's now 1+1=2.
Now know this and have peace, the woman might own everything in the house, but her husband owns her, no wonder Sarah in the bible calls her husband "My Lord".
What if your son or daughter does such to you, would you disown them?
Women and money!!!.
Mind you, it's even because of your idea of I want it solely in my name that brought about this, so your husband too might be feeling betrayed, and decided to have a commission as the agent of the transaction cos if he had told you, you wouldn't agre to give him but would rather give it to an external agents.
Common!! Think thou woman!!!
He's even a good man and has begged for forgiveness, with both your father's also begging you, if I may even ask, as who?
Ooni is getting married to the 7th & 8th high profile women, and they are all loyal,
Woman think!!
Think!!! |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by pasuma(m): 5:27am On Oct 25, 2022 |
How will you feel if the table were to turn around, he did something bad but it's not worth parking out of the house for, for me the marriage is not that important to you.. It's not like he cheated on you with another woman or something,. It's not too late to reconcile, I have a woman that parked out of her husband many years ago because she caught her husband cheating on her, she's regretting it today after 10 years, she still laments.. Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.
I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...
Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.
3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.
My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.
How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.
No insult please, I have cried enough. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by bobkezel(m): 5:31am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Madam you obviously put money first before your family.
If he didn't buy the land at all na different matter.
You are wrong abeg. Small money wey u dey make dey enter ur head.
This man has been providing everything since we didn't hear ooo. Now u made small change u think u have arrived....
You left your matrimonial home because of 200k, u be real Judas. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by ZUBY77(m): 5:35am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Lie Muhammed.
You are in your mid twenties.
You married at 22
You have 3 kids and another one on the way, married at 22 and still in your mid twenties.
Rascal.
You didn't tell us what this husband does but from look of things, he is doing well since you only contribute 50k and 100k to a house project.
Your fellow idiiots can tell you not to go back but if I were this man, I would have been happily married again.. 3 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Nobody: 5:37am On Oct 25, 2022 |
redseason:
Most sensible comment!
Your husband’s sin is stealing from his wife. It’s shameful cos it’s like stealing from your own self! That aside;
As in ehn. All that 100k, 20k, 50k she was mentioning felt like 2k and 1k to me. You would think she contributed to 50% of her family's capital projects. Na wa. What a very selfish wife. Talking as if she married herself. But the husband stealing from her, mehn.. to forgive go hard o. Will never be able to trust such a man again cos I'm big on honesty and integrity. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Badguyyyy123: 5:39am On Oct 25, 2022 |
The simple truth is u not ready for marriage, u not ready to be a wife, just go get boyfriend to be fuking the one that u can control and do what ever u want, and u he can give u baby
U barely see ladies who has money submit and stays in husband house, |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by VawulenceLover: 5:39am On Oct 25, 2022 |
BENEAMATA:
Bros , be calming down oh ! On top this matter ? Advise and solution abeg . let her tell us that she never suck another preek fess. So that I can advice her appropriately  1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by sync(f): 5:40am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Na wa o, just because of 200k. Your love for money is overwhelming |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Stillwater10: 5:47am On Oct 25, 2022 |
If you husband had not gotten that money, another agent would have still gotten the money. Your husband simply saw it as payment for his services hence may not understand why you are really angry. Most women who run provision shops still charge their husbands for pick items from their shops even though those items would still be used in the family. They would say it is business.
You guys don't act like a family, everything seems to be able the individual. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by wirinet(m): 5:48am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Fahvvy:
How do you forgive him?
By forgiving him na  ...
Marriage is not relationship o that you can brezz in and out as you wish  ...
Marriage will test and stretch you farther than anything else will ..
On a more serious note...
It's clear and glaring that you don't consider yourself as a team? ...
Let's look at your write up ...
I have always helped him in his house projects,might not be much 100k,50k,20k when need be,I never siphoned my money to myself,as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head,(3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that "we" should buy it together,I told him no,I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it,( just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller."we" did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
So even when "two have become one" you still act as if you guys are not a team ...
The only time the word "we" appeared there, it was because it was suggested by your hubby ...
So while he sees you guys as a team, you see yourself as competitors ...
Until you change your mindset, it's best you don't go back ...
I'm not trying to excuse your hubby's actions, however, if you intend to go back with this mindset of unforgiveness, disunity and distrust, just be prepared for everyday quarrel ...
And that too will affect your kids ... Thanks my brother for having the correct perspective. Most people supporting the spoilt brat of a lady don't understand the meaning of the word marriage. A man that courted you for years and paid your bride price, a man that build a house and made your the lady of the manor, a man that provided love and security for you and your child, you are angry to the point of separation just because of N200,000. Not that he even stole the N200,000, but it was for a land he helped you buy. Not that he spent the N200,000 on a mistress or girlfriend, he probably spent the money on you and the home. The lady does not deserve this man. If I am the mans relation, I will advice him to get a divorce ASAP. This woman is just too selfish. It's always about me, myself and I with her. Now why will die want to build a house all for herself? Does she plan to leave their family house in the near future? I think the lady has it too easy with life and is looking for some life's challenges. It's her mates that are singing " jehovah take me to my hisbands house", while she has a rich and loving husbands at such young age. After 10 years as a single mother of 2 children, she will know what's up. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by dannovidlimited: 5:51am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Hw u value materials tins than forgiveness
The very tin u create by ur self to destroy ur happy home
Didn't u think u can create more wealth than 200k to spoil ur family
If u carried unforgiving 4 long time it will create a sickness
Money is not a value but success u made wt it |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by reddingtonblack: 5:53am On Oct 25, 2022 |
LilMissFavvy:
I know you may want to delay in going back to your husband because you rented an apartment for yourself, but my advice is that you should forget your new house and go back to your hubby. Forgive him, he did bad, but go back now, for It is not good for married people to live apart. What happened is a lesson, so as you go back "always watch your back", never trust a man'. Keep that trust for your children, thank God you are blessed with children already. The Eve gender can be so unbelievable at times, the dumbass bimbo even deem it trophy that she supported him with 50k, 20k how much is that compared to the real cost of building a house. If she was supportive as she claim why would the man descend low to scam her of mere 200k when be can just ask & have it, apparently she no love the man, probably the man was just a ride available at the right time. What the man did is it is not the same thing women do thru the life span of marriages, do women not inflate market prices, do women not take men's money with impunity. Her money is Her money, why are women so bitter and callous whenever it comes to there money, and the fact that most female here don't think she went to far shows how unfortunate Nigeria men are to be saddle with a naija woman. maybe mosdii is right |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by BouquiLake: 5:53am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Light shines best when there is darkness... Love is demonstrated when there is every reason for you to hate... If you are not able to let go, it means you didnt really love him aand you should stick to your guns. BUT If you truly love him and he loves you, this should strengthen your bond more. Surely he must have learnt his lesson not to take you for granted and should not repeat such or anything like that again. By the way why do you want to have your own property? Are you feeling insecured? Are his family members so overbearing? That you feel threatened that if your husband is no more, they'll take over his properties(There families like that). If the answer to the above questions is yes, then go ahead to secure yourself. Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.
I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...
Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.
3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.
My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.
How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.
No insult please, I have cried enough. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by grandstar(m): 5:54am On Oct 25, 2022 |
phemmyfour:
You weren't ready for marriage age and maturity wise . You made many moves in error that a mature girl would have handled better.
Both of you need counseling especially on conflict management.
It's a pity 200k can tear your marriage apart, the foundation of your union should be revisited I said she married too young and she had a fairytale view of marriage. Now, she's been struck by a thunderbolt! Her husband taking a cut from this transaction is the least of her worries. A lady should be at least 25 and men 26 before settling down. I think in her case, she should have waited till she was 28 considering her type of person She needs a man who would be comfortable with her achievements (wealth). She's a go-getter. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by wirinet(m): 5:55am On Oct 25, 2022 |
ZUBY77:
Lie Muhammed.
You are in your mid twenties.
You married at 22
You have 3 kids and another one on the way, married at 22 and still in your mid twenties.
Rascal.
You didn't tell us what this husband does but from look of things, he is doing well since you only contribute 50k and 100k to a house project.
Your fellow idiiots can tell you not to go back but if I were this man, I would have been happily married again.. That's what I also observe. It would have helped to know the age and job of the husband. To get married, have a baby, build a complete house and buy another land to start another house, all within a two to three year period, and at such a young age is very suspect. I also wonder the type of job the lady does. Maybe her parents are very wealthy. Because it is unbelievable that a lady can finish school, serve, start working, get married, have a baby and still save the amount of money the lady is spending all before the age of 25. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by reddingtonblack: 5:59am On Oct 25, 2022 |
missimelda01:
Marriage counselor isonu
All you did was blame her and saw nothing wrong in what her husband did. Did you provide a reasonable solution? No
You can give your opinion but stop deceiving yourself by saying you're a marriage counselor. Birds of a feather, incase you need apartment reachout |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Obidient4life3: 6:07am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.
I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...
Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.
3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.
My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.
How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.
No insult please, I have cried enough. You brought up this issue when that damage was too much. He cheated you no doubt, what it means is that that's how learned to make his money. He is not an honest individual when it comes to Money. My advice is make him show some commitment because going back to his house. The kids need their father. First of all, Let him know he will refund that 200k with an interest of 100k. Secondly, tell him he will buy you some nice cloths and accessories for a reassurance date with him. Mention on expensive hotel both of you will spend the night. He will ask why you are trying to make him spend money unnecessarily, tell him that's the only way you will be reassured he still loves you. That a man does anything that is good to prove his love for a woman. At least you are not just a woman, you are his wife |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by reddingtonblack: 6:09am On Oct 25, 2022 |
eyinjuege:
Please stop trying to sugar coat theft and dishonesty.
A man that will lie beside you, exchange bodily fluids with you and then collide with an outsider to defraud you can do and undo, so I understand where OP is coming from.
He's just opened his wife up for his friends, relatives and associates to try and defraud her.
While I would advise her to forgive her husband, if she isn't ready to do so, don't try to make her the toxic one here.
That man has destroyed the trust in their marriage and its just a shell there at the moment.
It will take time to build the trust back
And please don't go into marriage with the mindset of defrauding your wife. It never ends well, and vice versa That is not fraud, it is simply business from all logical point of view void of emotion. What would have qualified as a fraud is if she paid and didnt get the land. What the man did is what every stingy partner deserves, if the wife was free and supportive as she claim the man won't have to descend low to that route to get just 200k off a supportive wife. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by wirinet(m): 6:11am On Oct 25, 2022 |
missimelda01:
Marriage counselor isonu
All you did was blame her and saw nothing wrong in what her husband did. Did you provide a reasonable solution? No
You can give your opinion but stop deceiving yourself by saying you're a marriage counselor. The husband did nothing wrong. Wife's skim their husbands money all the time and they hardly complain, not to talk of separation. The man is a very responsible man. What was she even looking for in his phone? She did not find another woman's number, because I am sure that was what she was looking for. I don't believe she is leaving her matrimonial home because of N200k. There must be other reasons. Maybe she has another rich lover promising her heaven on earth or maybe the pregnancy does not belong to the husband. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by BafanaBafana: 6:11am On Oct 25, 2022 |
We need to find out first what he did with the 200k! Did he use it to drink beer or spend it on other women? That would have help me understand your anger.
This is something women do to men everyday, and I mean 80% of women. What do they use the money for? Bole, ice cream, agbado etc. For themselves alone. Unless there is something else you are not saying, |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Grupo(m): 6:11am On Oct 25, 2022 |
ZUBY77:
Lie Muhammed.
You are in your mid twenties.
You married at 22
You have 3 kids and another one on the way, married at 22 and still in your mid twenties.
Rascal.
You didn't tell us what this husband does but from look of things, he is doing well since you only contribute 50k and 100k to a house project.
Your fellow idiiots can tell you not to go back but if I were this man, I would have been happily married again.. Leave her to be fooling herself. By the time she realizes herself, her husband would have remarried. Then she would turn to a bitter single mother of four kids. She will become a feminist and start abusing men on Facebook. That's usually how it ends for most of them. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Paretomaster1(m): 6:13am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Once marriage Don dey reach "He insulted me, insulted him" Game over... Matter una for handle with maturity..
He told you about a land he want you both to buy, you insisted you must buy it alone....
Everyone beg, his mother came from the village, you no gree, your papa say make u no go back... Hmmmm |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by wirinet(m): 6:13am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Obidient4life3:
You brought up this issue when that damage was too much.
He cheated you no doubt, what it means is that that's how learned to make his money. He is not an honest individual when it comes to Money. My advice is make him show some commitment because going back to his house. The kids need their father. First of all, Let him know he will refund that 200k with an interest of 100k.
Secondly, tell him he will buy you some nice cloths and accessories for a reassurance date with him. Mention on expensive hotel both of you will spend the night. He will ask why you are trying to make him spend money unnecessarily, tell him that's the only way you will be reassured he still loves you. That a man does anything that is good to prove his love for a woman. At least you are not just a woman, you are his wife What do you mean he cheated no doubt. A man that built a whole house, just 2 years after paying for marriage rights will want to cheat his wife, and he will take only N200k? Is 200k money in todays Nigeria? |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Samakus(m): 6:18am On Oct 25, 2022 |
culf:
Imagine the type of issue that is causing separation, its unfortunate.
You're a lady so it might mean a lot to you but do you know that most times money given to wives for one thing or another, some wives divert part of it, Oga know but won't even bother including feeding money meant for the family.
This same money causing issues, if it were to be another person, will you have known? some people don't mix business with anything and probably maybe your hubby is one that thinks everybody should pay for his service including his wife. Truth is, what he did is wrong, he should have asked for payment rather than taking it through the back door.
To me, this is not suppose to lead to any serious fight or separation.
#Some people who are not suppose to be in marriage are already married. She's plainly immature for marriage. The man did wrong taking the money through the backdoor and he's apologised over and over, yet the "queen" thinks he's not done enough. Imagine someone begging you over and over but you still decided to move out and you're expecting him to run after you. Who are you? Women sef |
