₦airaland Forum

PJtech:
Lack of supervision from parent/guardian. A girl got 5month pregnant under ur roof, you negleted ur guardian role(ur wife should take 90% of the blame)

do have a talk with ur wife, never leave ur kids with same fate as this poor girl.... Learn from this mistake

Some girls have flat stomach ehn!
I know a girl who carried a 9month old pregnancy before she was discovered. She did everything she was expected to do. The stomach was almost as flat as a virgin. She gave birth 5 days after she was discovered. She had planned to give birth to the baby and dump him at the gates of the motherless children home

Beey:
You taking the girl in and supporting her education is commendable. It sounds like she was a bit idle and that’s how she found time to meet with the young man. I want to believe that she’s not as naive as people may want to make it sound. At that age, she must have had some biology lessons. It was probably curiosity and the excitement of being told that she’s loved, that pushed her into that situation. Now with that said, my advise is for you to reconsider your decision. People fall down and then get back up again. Pregnancy though highly discouraged at her age, is not the cause for her to receive a lifetime of condemnation. Have her go to the village and have the baby. Let her stay till the baby is weaned. Am sure she’ll face difficulties that will force her to mature and focus. After that, she can leave the baby with her mother and go back to school. Please save her from becoming another addition to statistics of poverty and lack of education. Please continue to sponsor her studies as you had planned. Take her as if she were your own daughter who made a mistake and give her a 2nd chance. In the future, go for domestic help who are over 18 years old and can handle the consequences of their actions.

I have discussed your recommendations with my wife and we have agreed to implement it that way. However, this must come after meeting the boy's family. Thank you

stocktaker:
if you really love the girl convince her mother let the pregnant be terminated under the supervision of a proffessional doctor , you will be happy as she will bounce back to her life again

5 months pregnancy! Haba .

seanwilliam:
if he has to borrow money to do the DNA test, he better do. That one better pass make dem pin wetin no be him own for him neck.

And if it's his?

mariahAngel:
O kwa ya?
Unu wu dike n'agha.



Of course.


Mma'm ga a si "nwata rie ihe o kwere muru anya, ya a raha".
I pray they give her all the support she needs to have the baby.

no be small one o..

O ya nu naa..O rie la ihe ahu gu ga ya..Ya na ura mewe zie...

First pregnancy Nwaanyi kwesiri ya na nwoke ya i noro..maka the care and pampering will help alleviate the stress and worries..

The pain of carrying pregnancy the man deny ga can be traumatic.

My uncle and his wife ones found themselves in OP's situation..I think av told you this before okwaya?

IamAsiri:
And if it's his?

My question exactly.

Blaming the OP for lack of supervision is grossly unfair. Blaming the OP for not giving the girl sex education is beyond the ridiculous.

In the UK and US, with mandatory sex education in schools, there is still unwanted teenage pregnancy.

This man and his family did the best they could and seem to be good people. Raising someone else's child is no joke and requires commitment.

OP, release the girl to her family and support where you can. Your watch has ended.

Udanta has spoken.

TenQ:
Some girls have flat stomach ehn!
I know a girl who carried a 9month old pregnancy before she was discovered. She did everything she was expected to do. The stomach was almost as flat as a virgin. She gave birth 5 days after she was discovered. She had planned to give birth to the baby and dump him at the gates of the motherless children home

There was a lady in the Bq I lived when I was serving. It was when she gave birth that we began to wonder when she got pregnant. That's someone we were seeing everyday.

Biko, Dont let her sacrifice her future because of this pregnancy. There are kids who have babies as teenager and still continue with their education. Please continue to sponsor her, she can leave the baby with the mother and continue with the education. Other kids have waxed stronger after teenage pregnancy.

That boy will further his education, so why should she pay for her teenage sexual act by sacrificing her future.

Please sponsor her and let her be the light on her family, I beg of you and your wife.

May God guide you aright. Please I beg of you.

Thank you Sir

Stop talking to the boy rather talk to the family of the boy to see if they can accept responsibility but please try and assist the girl in education after she gives birth or empower to have a good future since she is from a poor family.

Learning a skill, school or health or nursing will do if she is brilliant

It's unfortunate it happened that way, maybe you and your wife didn't do much on the need for her to maintain her chastity till when she's ripe for marriage.

DSS1335:
I am writing this with a sorrowful heart!
This is quite a lengthy piece!!

In 2018, My wife brought a live-in maid toward the end of her gestational period as we eagerly anticipate the birth of our first fruit after 8 years of marriage.

We took the young girl as part of our family, she was just 13 years old in JSS2 at the time she joined us. She does minor household chores, like washing the dishes, keeping the house in and out clean, that's all. I made sure
her education was not interrupted, she continued her schooling from Js3 till she completed her SSCE this year. Outsiders thought she was my first child considering the way she was being taken good care of.

At 16 years age, the evidence of proper nutrition was so glaring in her physique, the young girl of yesterday was already a beautiful damsel. I protected her from ravenous men old enough to be her father. Even from her classmates. Perhaps the mistake i made was in buying her phone before WAEC exam started. Well, the need for constant communication can not be overemphasized because i and my wife go out for work in the morning. My wife comes back in the day while i return back in the evening. Living her our 2 kids in her care: My first Child is 3 years plus in Nursery, the second is about 2 years in Prenursery.

When her mother made a stop by to visit her daughter 5 months ago after 4 years, she was so full of praise and thanking us for taking good care of her daughter, and begged us to allow her stay longer with us rather than her returning back to the village after completing her WAEC. I and my wife plan that i will take up the responsibility to train her up in University so she can be light to her family. Her elder siblings didn't complete their secondary school!

Today, all those dreams and aspirations have been shattered! The innocent girl child i took as a daughter is 5 months pregnant without even knowing she was pregnant! How possible? I could have swear with my life that she was still a virgin and innocent. Damm it! Where do I start from eh??

Well, my wife was rattled up by a what she called a terrible nightmare, she dreamt that she saw her girl carrying a new born baby. That was around 3 A.M she woke her up from sleep and asked her if she was pregnant, the girl denied it ignorantly. My wife had no reason to suspect her as she always buy her pads for her monthly menses except for this month. Then examined her and her suspicion became heightened as she saw a remarkable changes, her bra can't fit any longer, her bellybutton was out with black line running down! She ordered her to pee and run her test kit, it came back positive! My wife broke down in tears.

That morning, we didn't go to work for the day. we grilled her with questions. She confessed to us that she had intercourse only once in the month MAY yet she was still seeing her monthly menses. That she had a boy friend whom they secretly communicate on phone every day. That she lost her virginity to the boy. And they did it only ones in less than 30 minutes as she came back to check the kids who were still sleeping in the afternoon.

The boy came to visit her grand mother who return from the USA, she refused traveling to the East due to insecurities and rented a flat opposite my compound for just 3 months from March to June. During her stay, all her children and grandchildren came to visit her. It was one of her grand son that lured my maid and took advantage of her innocences.

We contacted the boy on phone and told him what happened, he denied it that it is impossible for him to be held responsible that he had sex with her only once and that's not enough to get a girl pregnant! I swear,i could have dealt with him fatally if he were within my reach. Well, i was able to comport myself and explain to him in details after which he kept quiet. He is just 20 years old awaiting admission. We have informed the girl's mother too who became shock and cold! And asked her daughter to return back to the village!

Considering this scenario, i came up with the plan to make that boy and family take up the responsibility of the pregnancy, she can't remain with my family anymore so as not draw unnecessary attention. I will track down the boy and his family and file a statutory rape charge against them if all avenue to resolve this case peacefully fail. From Pregnancy to child care is no joke. My people that is no joke at all. I feel very bad and compassionate for the innocent young girl who will be forced to sacrifice her future to be in the family way.

Any honest advise on how best to tackle this issue at hand would be appreciated

YES VERY SAD INDEED. But Pls Do not Abandone the Once INNOCENT Girl of urs. Ur Planned Steps are in Order. The Boy/Man and his Family Should be Responsible for All that is required to Safely Deliver this Girl. However, I will advise that, You should not Abandon this Girl...to her Mother who is Heart Broken already,Pls. After Delivery and Recovery, the Mother can take Care of the Baby...so this Girl can be Educated for Good Reasons Pls. God Bless Ir Efforts.

PJtech:
Lack of supervision from parent/guardian. A girl got 5month pregnant under ur roof, you negleted ur guardian role(ur wife should take 90% of the blame)

do have a talk with ur wife, never leave ur kids with same fate as this poor girl.... Learn from this mistake

Do you think it's easy to bring up a girl child. What would you have adviced that he do? He can't be monitoring her day and night na

DSS1335:
I am writing this with a sorrowful heart!
This is quite a lengthy piece!!


In 2018, My wife brought a live-in maid toward the end of her gestational period as we eagerly anticipate the birth of our first fruit after 8 years of marriage.

We took the young girl as part of our family, she was just 13 years old in JSS2 at the time she joined us. She does minor household chores, like washing the dishes, keeping the house in and out clean, that's all. I made sure
her education was not interrupted, she continued her schooling from Js3 till she completed her SSCE this year. Outsiders thought she was my first child considering the way she was being taken good care of.

At 16 years age, the evidence of proper nutrition was so glaring in her physique, the young girl of yesterday was already a beautiful damsel. I protected her from ravenous men old enough to be her father. Even from her classmates. Perhaps the mistake i made was in buying her phone before WAEC exam started. Well, the need for constant communication can not be overemphasized because i and my wife go out for work in the morning. My wife comes back in the day while i return back in the evening. Living her our 2 kids in her care: My first Child is 3 years plus in Nursery, the second is about 2 years in Prenursery.

When her mother made a stop by to visit her daughter 5 months ago after 4 years, she was so full of praise and thanking us for taking good care of her daughter, and begged us to allow her stay longer with us rather than her returning back to the village after completing her WAEC. I and my wife plan that i will take up the responsibility to train her up in University so she can be light to her family. Her elder siblings didn't complete their secondary school!

Today, all those dreams and aspirations have been shattered! The innocent girl child i took as a daughter is 5 months pregnant without even knowing she was pregnant! How possible? I could have swear with my life that she was still a virgin and innocent. Damm it! Where do I start from eh??

Well, my wife was rattled up by a what she called a terrible nightmare, she dreamt that she saw her girl carrying a new born baby. That was around 3 A.M she woke her up from sleep and asked her if she was pregnant, the girl denied it ignorantly. My wife had no reason to suspect her as she always buy her pads for her monthly menses except for this month. Then examined her and her suspicion became heightened as she saw a remarkable changes, her bra can't fit any longer, her bellybutton was out with black line running down! She ordered her to pee and run her test kit, it came back positive! My wife broke down in tears.

That morning, we didn't go to work for the day. we grilled her with questions. She confessed to us that she had intercourse only once in the month MAY yet she was still seeing her monthly menses. That she had a boy friend whom they secretly communicate on phone every day. That she lost her virginity to the boy. And they did it only ones in less than 30 minutes as she came back to check the kids who were still sleeping in the afternoon.

The boy came to visit her grand mother who return from the USA, she refused traveling to the East due to insecurities and rented a flat opposite my compound for just 3 months from March to June. During her stay, all her children and grandchildren came to visit her. It was one of her grand son that lured my maid and took advantage of her innocences.

We contacted the boy on phone and told him what happened, he denied it that it is impossible for him to be held responsible that he had sex with her only once and that's not enough to get a girl pregnant! I swear,i could have dealt with him fatally if he were within my reach. Well, i was able to comport myself and explain to him in details after which he kept quiet. He is just 20 years old awaiting admission. We have informed the girl's mother too who became shock and cold! And asked her daughter to return back to the village!

Considering this scenario, i came up with the plan to make that boy and family take up the responsibility of the pregnancy, she can't remain with my family anymore so as not draw unnecessary attention. I will track down the boy and his family and file a statutory rape charge against them if all avenue to resolve this case peacefully fail. From Pregnancy to child care is no joke. My people that is no joke at all. I feel very bad and compassionate for the innocent young girl who will be forced to sacrifice her future to be in the family way.

Any honest advise on how best to tackle this issue at hand would be appreciated

What do you mean by file a rape charge. Against a 20 year old boy? Was she raped? Why are you people this mean.

damoobaba:
There was a lady in the Bq I lived when I was serving. It was when she gave birth that we began to wonder when she got pregnant. That's someone we were seeing everyday.

Some women are like that!

People here shouting supervision up and down. Supervise all you want, they'll still do what they do.

mariahAngel:
You see some boys ehn? They're like horñy ekuke dogs that cannot control themselves.
Going about, ruining destinies with their nonsense "one eyed snake".
Nonsense!



Of course!
If the irresponsible boy is old enough to have sex, he should be old enough to accept the reward/consequence that comes with having sex.

Are you this daft or what?

What is wrong with you Nigeria girls? Why can't you Nigeria girls always take responsibilities for your actions? Why shifting blames on the opposite gender? Brain dey pain you?

The girl clearly admitted that they both had sex (consensual) and she even enjoyed it more. This clearly means that she wanted it and has always longed for it and yet you're blaming the boy? Are you not mad like this?

Before you Rush to comment, learn to use your Brain and think

mariahAngel:
You see some boys ehn? They're like horñy ekuke dogs that cannot control themselves.
Going about, ruining destinies with their nonsense "one eyed snake".
Nonsense!



Of course!
If the irresponsible boy is old enough to have sex, he should be old enough to accept the reward/consequence that comes with having sex.

Hope they've not ruined your life also?

You can't blame the boy alone. It takes two to tangle. Women play the victim card because they're the one carrying the product for nine months. Having sex is not bad, it's the lack of knowledge about proper sex education that's bad. Even though she's still a minor, she's attained puberty and her hormones are definitely on a high side. Many live reckless life at this point because they lack self control. More than 90% of girls are disvirgined while they're in secondary school. It's even worse these days, unfortunately nobody is making any effort, not even their parents

I taught secondary school students for some years. The things these people know and do ehn. They just have this innocent face, many of them are not. Many of them know the right thing to do but their hormones won't make them think straight. Sex is very cheap to get, very cheap. I don't engage in sex because it has the lowest level of ecstasy that doesn't even last long. Almost everyday, I reject more than ten signs of sex because I know how to control my emotions and not the other way round. The mistake many parents make is to see their children in secondary school as small babies with innocent faces. They'll just tell one or few things about sex without follow up because they're either busy looking for money or thinking about more important things until the lady brings pregnancy for them.

Men can be decievers and some ladies can be quite easy to manipulate. A lady can hate a guy with passion and end up getting pregnant for that same guy. Life no balance.

@op, I understand how distressing the situation can be at the moment especially how it happened right under your nose. What has happened has happened, it's not the end of the world. After her pregnancy, she can still continue her schooling and do whatever she wants to do. Gone are the days when unwanted pregnancy can stop one from furthering their educations. This is the time she needs enough care, love and support. If you can do this for her, she will be grateful and it will stir up a seed of greatness within her because it's the nature of humans to express their best abilities if they're shown unconditional love and affection especially if they're undeserving of it. There will always be that feeling of indebtedness within them that pushes them on.

So, embrace it as part of life and move on. Isn't it interesting how the extremes of two sides of life can be at consonance with one another. You had to wait eight years before you had a child. Your maid didn't even have to get married before she had one. Life is not fixed in stone and anything can happen. Even the most taugt lady or most supervised lady can choose to rebel and get pregnant. No one has 100% control over anyone. Learn from this lesson so that your daughter (if you've any) will not follow this path and hope she won't follow it because if she follows it, there is nothing or little you can do. Wishing you the best as you resolve this knotty yet interesting issue. Gracias

ecolime:
Chaiii

Few months ago, our 19 year old live-in maid ran off with a 20 years old boy. She packed and moved to a ghetto here in PH because of love

Thank God we were able to track her, got her arrested and bundled her back to her family in Ijora, Lagos where we took her from.

Once they turn teenagers, it's very easy for boys to deceive them.

This is a girl that had a big room, A.C, quality clothes and latest gadgets to herself. She wrote WAEC last year and was only awaiting admission.

My wife loved her so much and took her like a daughter. You will never know she isn't our blood. She flew and travelled everywhere with us but Penis derailed her life.

I was so grateful she didn't get pregnant else it would have been a different case.

Now, we don't do live-in maids again. It's cash and carry. Our new maid comes to clean up the house once we are back from work at 4pm.. (she works 5pm to 7pm). Then work on Saturdays too (8am to 5pm) Once you are done, go back to your house. While she's fully off on Sunday.

You always want the best of life for them but they don't love their lives enough.

It is well with you bro

It's a thing of the mind.

Reason why he said we should
"Emancipate ourselves from mental slavery".

Beey:
You taking the girl in and supporting her education is commendable. It sounds like she was a bit idle and that’s how she found time to meet with the young man. I want to believe that she’s not as naive as people may want to make it sound. At that age, she must have had some biology lessons. It was probably curiosity and the excitement of being told that she’s loved, that pushed her into that situation. Now with that said, my advise is for you to reconsider your decision. People fall down and then get back up again. Pregnancy though highly discouraged at her age, is not the cause for her to receive a lifetime of condemnation. Have her go to the village and have the baby. Let her stay till the baby is weaned. Am sure she’ll face difficulties that will force her to mature and focus. After that, she can leave the baby with her mother and go back to school. Please save her from becoming another addition to statistics of poverty and lack of education. Please continue to sponsor her studies as you had planned. Take her as if she were your own daughter who made a mistake and give her a 2nd chance. In the future, go for domestic help who are over 18 years old and can handle the consequences of their actions.

You're very intelligent and Godly spirited. I love your comments dearly. You're a mother/father as the case may be indeed.

These young girls nowadays are very very ho.rny and more lifely than those old ladies.

One woman was counselling a girl last week and everyone there was like "wow"

They(girls) will even be the one saying with their body languages that you(guy) should come and fxck them.

It's very very appalling.

And they can't be blamed, it's what they see around that influences them

DSS1335:
Thank you for your honest advise.

We have been able to trace through the help of the estate caretaker and contacted her aunty who was their grandmother's point of contact in PH through out their 3 months stay. She has accepted to help us mediate in the case, she will inform her Mother (the boy's grandma) and her sister(the boy's mother) about all that transpired. That the boy lives with his parents in Obigbo before ABA. If all efforts to resolve this case peacefully fails, i will file for statutory rape charge.



This doesn't make any sense!
What will she gain for withholding such a very sensitive information from us?

When she was in SS1, i was forced to change her school after 3rd term, she confided in my wife that one of her male teacher was giving her undue attention to the point of inviting her to his house coupled with the fact that senior boys in her school were also disturbing her.

This girl doesn't lack anything, whatever she needs or payment that comes, we clear it.
We live comfortably in my 3 bedroom flat. She has her own room, i don't allow her to watch any kind of indecent movie or music by ensuring that such channels are under lock filtering out only cartoon, starlife, zeeworld, and other children friendly channels. my wife has her room but we sleep together with our 2 kids.

Sometimes in June, my wife went through her phone call history, she receives call only from the guy constantly and other female friends whom we assumed were her classmates. we inquired what association she has with this boy that calls her all time even at odd hours of the night. we knew something wasnt ok as WhatsApp chat and sms were deleted. She wasn't allowed to use Facebook as we tried our best to keep her under close watch. On weekends, in our presence, she isn't allowed to use phone as my wife always hold it.
What else could we have done. Our best wasn't enough i guess! And yes, my wife taught her sex education, i guess she was just too stupid, gullible, naive to fall for whatever the boy said. This a big lesson to all parents. We have learnt ours in a very hard way

calm down man, you and your wife has done your own part, you tried, you are not GOD, you cant stop a girl that want to go astray no matter how you try. i have seen many of them here in ph.

deflover:
This is a rape case
She is a minor

Hope It happened in lagos
Make the boy go life imprisonment

haba, he didnt killed anybody, life imprisonment? who will now take care of the baby? calm down bro.

jeffoe:
get the girl a safe abortion.

safe abortion in five months pregant?

Desusi:
You're very intelligent and Godly spirited. I love your comments dearly. You're a mother/father as the case may be indeed.

You are too kind. Yes a future mother.I am a Christian & they’ll know we are Christians by our love. God bless!

DSS1335:
I have discussed your recommendations with my wife and we have agreed to implement it that way. However, this must come after meeting the boy's family. Thank you

No thanks to you actually. It’s not easy to live others when they’ve hurt you & to also get your wife to agree. May God bless you for this. I pray she won’t let you down again & you’ll never regret giving her a 2nd chance. Yes please meet up with the guy & his family. He needs to understand that actions have consequences and should be actively involved in the child’s life.

obua:
best advice so far.
You can still continue supporting the young girl to lessen the burden of early pregnancy and also to further her education just like you planned

Thanks

blaise26abj:
God bless you with that advice . She is still a child and does not understand the gravity of her mistake .
I frown at using young girls who are still underage as domestic helps . It is child labour and it is bad . Use adults . I know of a woman whose maid got pregnant by the boyfriend that the woman knew . She continued working till she had to go have the baby.

Thanks

akbonus:
GOD BLESS YOU FOR THIS ADVICE,I THINK THE HOLY SPIRIT MINISTERED THIS TO YOU IF YOU ARE CHRISTIAN,IF NOT YOU MUST BE VERY INTELLIGENT PERSON,AGAIN GOD BLESS YOU.

Amen! Knowledge and wisdom are a fruit and gift of the Holy Spirit. So yes, I take no credit, God gets all the glory!