₦airaland Forum

Please try to understand that there is no perfect being except GOD, but for the sake of your children's future, please reconcile with your husband and learn how to tolerate each other, to avoid future quarrels

Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.

I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)

Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.

After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...

Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.

3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.


My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.

How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.

No insult please, I have cried enough.

Fahvvy:
How do you forgive him?
By forgiving him na ...

Marriage is not relationship o that you can brezz in and out as you wish ...
Marriage will test and stretch you farther than anything else will ..

On a more serious note...
It's clear and glaring that you don't consider yourself as a team? ...

Let's look at your write up ...

I have always helped him in his house projects,might not be much 100k,50k,20k when need be,I never siphoned my money to myself,as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head,(3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)

Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that "we" should buy it together,I told him no,I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it,( just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller."we" did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.

So even when "two have become one" you still act as if you guys are not a team ...

The only time the word "we" appeared there, it was because it was suggested by your hubby ...

So while he sees you guys as a team, you see yourself as competitors ...

Until you change your mindset, it's best you don't go back ...

I'm not trying to excuse your hubby's actions, however, if you intend to go back with this mindset of unforgiveness, disunity and distrust, just be prepared for everyday quarrel ...

And that too will affect your kids ...

U are a.eise man.

My dear, let me tell you something, when the devil wants to come into a beautiful marriage, that's exactly how it slides straight in with just a little nonsense that does not make sense.

Imagine leaving your husband just because he took your money - not that he stole it right from your pose or something... just that he took just like regular real estate agent would do when they're asked to purchase property for someone they know.

C'mon girl, all I see is that you're too quickly to anger and it simply led you into leaving your home due to ego of being the one to provide the money he took, and that mean you're not happy to be the one who's able to bring such amount of money - NO PUN INTENTED.

What would happen if you were the one the other way round that collected his money (which you know that women normally do to men and they don't take it that far, even after shouting and vexing), sometimes you should even see such act as a respect with fear a man can have for you (his wife), by not asking or forcing you to send the money to his own account, so he'll be the one to pay directly.

God knows why you're the breadwinner of that home, and do not dissappoint him for making you the blessed one to provide for this little cute family you've been dreaming and gotten.

I will advise you to go back to your husband and stop bringing up quarells... just listen to him and why he may have done it. Trust me, it may not even be for the bad intention, but just don't cry when you get to know that the reason is necessary.

As for your parents that is telling you not to go back, just know that they were able to settle their own differences without allowing their own parents (your grand-parents) to intervene.

If you want, you can thank me later, but just go back and settle whatever that is the problem with you and your husband, so your home would remain beautiful forever.

MAY GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU AND YOUR HOME ALTOGETHER IN JESUS NAME. AMEN

Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.

I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)

Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.

After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...

Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.

3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.


My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.

How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.

No insult please, I have cried enough.

I MUST TROLL YOU.... SO THE TWO BECOME ONE PRINCIPLE YOU GAVE A CRACK AND NOW THE DEVIL DON USE SPANNER AND WEDGE SEPARATE AM. WHY DID YOU NOT WANT TO GET A LAND TOGETHER WITH YOUR HUBBY? BUT YOU LIKE E PREEK? ABI? TWO YEARS YOU DON BORN ONE COME EVEN GET BELLE FOR ANOTHER. YOU DE Bleep SHA.. SO IF TOMORROW HE MAKES A SLIGHT MISTAKE AND YOU DON BUILD HOUSE FOR THAT LAND, YOU GO STILL PACK? YOU DE LOOK FOR PERFECT HUSBAND ABI? OK OK BODY DE SWEET YOU AS YOU STILL DE YOUR HOE PHRASE. BUT THE ORIGINAL ABGAYA FOR THIS STORY NA YOUR PAPA. DADDY AGBAYA, I BET YOU IF NA ME WALAITALAI I GO DIVORCE YOUR GENERATION. YOU THINK SAY MARRIAGE NA FOR GIRLS ABI? GO MARRY YOUR PAPA...

Fahvvy:
How do you forgive him?
By forgiving him na ...

Marriage is not relationship o that you can brezz in and out as you wish ...
Marriage will test and stretch you farther than anything else will ..

On a more serious note...
It's clear and glaring that you don't consider yourself as a team? ...

Let's look at your write up ...

I have always helped him in his house projects,might not be much 100k,50k,20k when need be,I never siphoned my money to myself,as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head,(3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)

Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that "we" should buy it together,I told him no,I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it,( just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller."we" did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.

So even when "two have become one" you still act as if you guys are not a team ...

The only time the word "we" appeared there, it was because it was suggested by your hubby ...

So while he sees you guys as a team, you see yourself as competitors ...

Until you change your mindset, it's best you don't go back ...

I'm not trying to excuse your hubby's actions, however, if you intend to go back with this mindset of unforgiveness, disunity and distrust, just be prepared for everyday quarrel ...

And that too will affect your kids ...

God will bless you. I have been shouting reading some comments here. The man messed up. But you know the truth, he will still use that 200k on the house, I mean anything that concerns the home. From all she said that woman is very toxic.. I mean why buy a land outside your husband. U can buy a car a business and all but a land? I maybe local with my reasoning but the civilisation u all talk about has made women lions in homes.. Don't go back u here, when u hear people call that child u want to give birth to outside your husband's house a badtard don't complain. No matter what u say, u got pregnant outside his house. Women what do you people really want.

Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.

I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)

Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.

After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...

Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.

3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.


My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.

How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.

No insult please, I have cried enough.

SO YOU WAN TELL US SAY IF YOU WERE REALLY LOYAL TO HIM, HE WOULD CHECKMATE YOUR 200K? NO MY SISTER HE HAS SEEM THE SIGNS OF YOUR REBELLIOUS ATTITUDE AND NATURE... WHO YOU THINK SAY BE MUGU THESE DAYS? YOU ARE JUST A SPOILT DADDY'S GIRL WHO CAME FROM PRIVELEDGE AND HE IS. A HUSTLER WHO YOU CANT ACKNOWLEDGE....

Forgive and move on with him

Romanoff:
Rotfl.

Marriage wey we done dey for years?

Tell that to small small girls that you're hoping to use one yeye marriage to keep in bondage.

Not a grown woman who married a man with sense and married with intentionality.

Shior.

So you dey forgive your own husband, but you dey advice anoda woman to destroy her own....witch women are truly their own enemies

Ifakiland:
So you dey forgive your own husband, but you dey advice anoda woman to destroy her own....witch women are truly their own enemies

How did I advise her to destroy her own?

By going for counselling or by her taking measures to ensure such a thing doesn't happen to her?

My own husband cannot scam me. E get sense pass like that.

missimelda01:
In case you need sense don't hesitate to reach out.

eeyah! not everyone is on refill package ..however i wish you a miracle my sistas

All these drama because of 200k? You are a bad wife, if na me be your husband i go allow you go and marry another woman, you are dumb, because a sharp woman knows how to collect that money back from her husband times 2 codedly, you destroyed your family because of 200k, foolish woman

Weirdcamila:
You have kids , and from your explanation you are doing well. Move forward and don’t look back . The man is an idiot .
Why cheat your own wife ? Nawa o
Where una dey find animals marry?

So thousands of women that have been doing this are animals too!

Truly,you are deeply hurt but as a mother,there is a need for you to seriously work on your temperament/emotions...this would be a soothing relief for you to be forgiving wholeheartedly. I see the sincerity in you.

Rozross:
You readily forgive those you love without a doubting spirit. You are kind of toxic, even me that like trouble dont know how to keep grudges, before the next day as e long reach, i've forgotten that we even had issues. Marriage isnt relationship, learn to accept your partner's flaws and weaknesses and forgive them each time their weaknesses is taking it's toll on them. This one isn't even a big issue sef, its you who has been complicating things. He's sorry and begging you for forgiveness and you still dont want to forgive him, what else do you want? His head? Abeg work on your unforgiven spirit.

Rozross
This is why I followed you
Your comply always shack a table for women
If all woman are intelligent enough to know this
That marriage is all about forgiveness and test
And not searching for weekness
Love they sweet think positive always
Some men are so corny outside they can’t give there Niggas money or even buy one bottle for you but if you go he’s house you will see full goat meat inside there pot .
So forgiveness is necessary
Razzross I salute
You are a good comrade

You are now promoted
As ComradeRazzross

Men they try

MufasaLion:
You don't need such a stupid, lazy, insensitive and selfish man in your life or your kids'. Move on and continue to provide for yourself and your kids. He abandoned you for months and was trying to manipulate you emotionally when you went to pack things, don't be deceived.

Don't let his family's plead to deceive you. That man can never change. That's his personality and once you go back and deliver that baby, you will be trapped!

You can do well without him! Marriage is not an achievement. There are many successful people in the world raised by single mothers. Don't let the society define your happiness!

@op the person giving you this advice is happily living together with his family. You are the problem here since you refuse to forgive him and give him a second chance because of money you can easily recover you want to rob your innocent kids of a father figure because of ur selfish interest. what if it was you on the other side?

HardMirror:
will u marry me?

I know you are joking, so let's be friends first before marriage.

Romanoff:
How did I advise her to destroy her own?

By going for counselling or by her taking measures to ensure such a thing doesn't happen to her?

My own husband cannot scam me. E get sense pass like that.

Park one side

vivavik:
I know you are joking, so let's be friends first before marriage.

why will u think that? Give me your email

But my wife withdraws as she likes and before I spend my own money I still crosscheck it with her so and why can't I withdraw from her own and let heaven be at peace. What do you call hard earned money?

IamMobisola:
Why would you withdraw money from your wife’s account without her permission? Is the account in your name? Na your money dey there? Why should anyone scan their partner of their hard earned money? The audacity for him to even say it’s his right as her husband to scam her or cheat her.
There are laws in developed countries that actually prohibits that and you will be arrested if your wife should report you.

Which bride price? Isn’t that the nonsense tradition of Africa? No be you carry your two legs go meet girl’s family say you wan marry her? You don’t need to get married na. So why would she return that when she wasn’t even the one it was paid to.

You're here seeking for advice, where you could have just use sense to bill your husband for sand, cement, rods, definitely he will bring something, and before you know it you will cover that 200k X 2, you just foolishly pack out, and you came here to seek for advice?
Forget those giving you morale my dear, go and make peace with your husband.

redseason:
Most sensible comment!
Your husband’s sin is stealing from his wife. It’s shameful cos it’s like stealing from your own self! That aside;
You never saw yourself as part of his team. You wanted to conceal your selfishness, but the self in you still could not be totally masked. You could glorify the occasional 100k, 50k, 20k you put in the house project. Mama, you are not the first! And fyi, in terms of ratio, your contribution will most definitely amount to less than 5% of entire project cost. A modest 3 bedroom house will gulf at least 15m.
So many missing dots; is the family house solely in his name or your both names, because I now wonder the rationale you wanted something solely on your name alone? Has this husband been a provider or a deadbeat? Who bought your car? Have you ever misappropriated funds he gave to you? Got married at 22, did you move into his house with money or he set you up?

Don't mind the very silly woman

Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.

I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)

Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.

After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...

Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.

3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.


My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.

How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.

No insult please, I have cried enough.

*Smiles
You have a beautiful daughter with him o..please please please, you and your husband should talk things out. Don't try that ugly act again though

HardMirror:
why will u think that? Give me your email

We would see. jumbovictoria@gmail.com

vivavik:
We would see. m

remove e mail

Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.

I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)

Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.

After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...

Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.

3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.


My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.

How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.

No insult please, I have cried enough.

You have a terrible demon of unforgivingness. Ask God to take that demon away from you. Have you never wronged someone before?