CaveAdullam:
Let me state the few ones I can remember:

1. "Continue working, God will reward you. Your reward is in heaven". WTF.

God will reward me but you are stashing money inside your pocket. Is your heaven inside your pocket?

2. " We'll be having a meeting by so so time".

Why not just post whatever you have to say in the WhatsApp group?

3. "Do your best, you don't know who's watching you".

Watch me like how? No, you just want to exploit me while making me feel happy.

4. " You need to spend more time after work to get to the details of your work. I do it always and it helps".

Sir, it's your company, you can sleep there. You have a wife and concubines that can bring you food in the middle of the night.

I gat struggle with traffic before I get home. Who cares? I just want my money don't bother me.

5. "Develop a saving culture".

"On top this small salary make I dey try manage. Na wa o".

6. " We'll be having a seminar on Saturday and attendance is mandatory".

And when you get to the seminar they use 2 hours to do praise and worship. After they share an article.

Please, excuse me, sir, "why didn't you share this in the WhatsApp group as we jammed to Mercy Chinwe and Ada Jesus rather than allow us to waste " this beta Saturday....na ogun go kill you las las".

7. "We are family".

" oga go and look for your family members...abi eye dey pain you".

This is typical with teaching occupation in private primary and secondary schools in Portharcourt.

We will get back to u..this was how my friend left her papa house in pH to Abuja for an interview
They ended btye interview by "we will get back to you"

Omo, the babe was all smile and Happy, she have spentb3 months in Abuja at a strangers home waiting for the company to get back to her..nobody tell her to use her tongue count her teeth..she begin look for TP to go back home when Sapa got unbearable. Till now they never got back to her but she is now working in this same pH now

MrBrownJay1:
for me, it has to be with these yeye politicians willing to say ANY LIE WHATSOEVER to gain votes, and then do the exact opposite when elected. see them now: i will fix Nigeria's economy; i will bring 24h light; i will defeat BH... bla bla bla!

To me, every polithiefcian is assumed to be a bl00dy liar until proven otherwise.

We will look into your complaint and revert to you in due course

Boyooosa:
'How can I help you?'

It puts me off

I usually hang up or just stroll away from the particular staff to avoid further provocation

That's the standard response everywhere?

What would you prefer to hear instead?

"The Police is your friend"

No greater lie has been told since the beginning and none greater will be told till the end of time!

Streetmovement:
We all know companies/organizations with their different statements, numerous English, etc. when searching for a job this is one of the things you will have to encounter that's after you might have undergone series of interviews and test by your soon to be or not soon to be employers.

With that being said, I'll go first.

For me it will be "We will get back to you soon" God knows I hate this statement with passion because in my mind I'm like do I look like an unfinished mixtape or album that you're looking to get back to working on? Majority of you will agree with me that 90% of the time if you hear a statement like this from a company you're looking to get a job, then you know they're not gonna get back to you anytime soon.

Which brings me to my question, What's that statement you hate the most from any company or organization in which you're looking to get a job?

Let's hear from y'all....

We are not employing at this moment.....yet people are flaunting employment letter at your face

Kobicove:


That's the standard response everywhere?

What would you prefer to hear instead?

I no just understand that guy.

Peterobi90:
"Goodluck in your future endeavours"...

We Regret to Announce: we are going with Another candidate

Be obedient and yusful

Kobicove:


That's the standard response everywhere?

What would you prefer to hear instead?

'How can I be of service/help to you' is a more polite, decent and civilized way of welcoming / wooing a potential customer to your company. Upgrade

We are sorry, we couldn't proceed with your application.
This babe don chop regret mail sha but I thankGod it ended in praise this year with a congratulations. , My enemies will not laugh at me.

phemmyfour:
We are not employing at this moment.....yet people are flaunting employment letter at your face

Wotoporiously speaking

Lol, problem

Klass99:
We are like a family here..... . Like wtaf?

I have a real family, the employer and employee relationship is purely a business one for me, where I exchange my time and labour for money and other benefits. Don't get it twisted!

I mentally cringe whenever I hear this at interviews or after starting a job. What it usually means is that, we don't respect boundaries here, you will be expected to work late or be available at odd hours and weekends, if a superior calls, texts or emails you.

That is the usual language of One useless guy that God will soon deal with. When he's using you, you are family but when it's time to help or you err, matters will be treated officially.

.

WORK AS A TEAM.
WHEN THEM NO GO CARRY PETER MONEY JOIN PAUL OWN.

The payment of your salary is subject to availability of fund.

Really

NIGERIAN SECURITY FORCES " One was killed while others escaped with bullet wounds"