₦airaland Forum

I understand, and the act of generalizing is not limited to one country or culture. (A majority of) Nigerians do so too, even for other Nigerians.

Second question/observation :
There seems to be a strong anti-men streak among (online) South African (young-ish) women.
My guess is that this is not unconnected with the high level of rape in RSA (and I understand it was a lot worse 10 to 20+ years ago.

Third question in another comment.

Samantha123:
Firstly a person needs to understand South Africans before he or she can conclude that they're xenophobic.

We're not xenophobic, we just don't like it when illegal migrants or migrants in general come to SA and do illegal dealings.. it just happens that most of the nationalities who commit crimes in SA are either Zimbabweans or Nigerians.

Already we have our own criminals that we need to deal with.

There are some African foreign nationals, Nigerians included who are doing quite well in SA and have legit jobs.

Sounds like a white washing of xenophobia. Much like white settlers whitewashed apartheid.

However, xenophobia exists everywhere. Xenophobic pogroms started the Nigerian Civil War. Till today, we get periodic xenophobic attacks within Nigeria.

I'm saying these so you don't somehow feel the need to defend xenophobia. However, to whittle it down to "all south African Men are good, noble and only seek to protect the land from these vicious illegal immigrants", is a tad simplistic.

Samantha123:
SA men are not jealous, they're only trying to drive out illegal immigrants or migrants in general who come to SA and start committing crimes.

And it's not only SA men, but everyone.. Everyone has freedom of speech here.

It's not only about Nigerians.

Domestic violence is still a pandemic in SA.. A lot of women are being killed by the same men they call their husbands or boyfriends.

I personally know some women who were killed by their husbands.

cooooooks:
I understand, and the act of generalizing is not limited to one country or culture. (A majority of) Nigerians do so too, even for other Nigerians.

Second question/observation :
There seems to be a strong anti-men streak among (online) South African (young-ish) women.
My guess is that this is not unconnected with the high level of rape in RSA (and I understand it was a lot worse 10 to 20+ years ago.

Third question in another comment.

Samantha123
You as a south African, what do you think and how do you picture Nigeria guys in south Africa?

Have you dated a Nigerian, and would you consider dating one?

Your honest reply.

Apart from my one and only Nigerian friend that I have here and my Nigerian English lecturer back in varsity, I've never paid much attention to the other Nigerians here in SA.

My friend is very humbled, understanding, and like any other Nigerian, he's a religious fanatic.

I've never dated a Nigerian before, never considered it, and I don't think I'll ever date one.

Mibrondo:
Samantha123
You as a south African, what do you think and how do you picture Nigeria guys in south Africa?

Have you dated a Nigerian, and would you consider dating one?

Your honest reply.

Samantha123:
Apart from my one and only Nigerian friend that I have here and my Nigerian English lecturer back in varsity, I've never paid much attention to the other Nigerians here in SA.

My friend is very humbled, understanding, and like any other Nigerian, he's a religious fanatic.

I've never dated a Nigerian before, never considered it, and I don't think I'll ever date one.

Ok. I understood.

Samantha123:
Apart from my one and only Nigerian friend that I have here and my Nigerian English lecturer back in varsity, I've never paid much attention to the other Nigerians here in SA.

My friend is very humbled, understanding, and like any other Nigerian, he's a religious fanatic.

I've never dated a Nigerian before, never considered it, and I don't think I'll ever date one.

Why do you feel so strongly against dating a Nigerian? Secondly, why does it seem that it's mostly South African ladies that I meet online especially in online courses, are your men that lazy as rumoured? I have read a few apartheid era South African novels and their description of South Africans especially the coloureds and blacks are very negative, the authors were coloureds and blacks themselves. That was while growing up and that image haven't changed from the news coming from your country.

I'm very choosy when it comes to dating and when it comes to Nigerians, there's just this major cultural differences that I don't think I'd be able to cope with because I know how stubborn I can be, our behaviors and ways of life are way too different, so I'd rather stick to what I'm already familiar with.

You know most ladies like social media because they tend to attract a lot of attention compared to men, and most of us love the attention.

The thing is that SA is a multiracial country, we have all the races you can ever ask for, but unfortunately, those other races that are regarded as a minority happen to be much more successful compared to the entire black race as it surpasses them in number.

And we have what we call the white Monopoly capital and that white privilege that the white race have.

Our forefathers were never given a chance to invest into their own land, as the apartheid favoured the whites only.

While the whites were making investments and creating a legacy for their kids and the future generation, our forefathers were working as their slaves.

But a lot of black SA men are now working good jobs and they're doing quite good.. it just happens that there's still that stereotype of saying SA men are lazy because people are comparing the majority with the minority.

It's easy for a white privileged minority to be successful compared to a black majority that's just standing on its own with a history of apartheid.

greenermodels:
Why do you feel so strongly against dating a Nigerian? Secondly, why does it seem that it's mostly South African ladies that I meet online especially in online courses, are your men that lazy as rumoured? I have read a few apartheid era South African novels and their description of South Africans especially the coloureds and blacks are very negative, the authors were coloureds and blacks themselves. That was while growing up and that image haven't changed from the news coming from your country.

Samantha123:
I'm very choosy when it comes to dating and when it comes to Nigerians, there's just this major cultural differences that I don't think I'd be able to cope with because I know how stubborn I can be, our behaviors and ways of life are way too different, so I'd rather stick to what I'm already familiar with.

You know most ladies like social media because they tend to attract a lot of attention compared to men, and most of us love the attention.

The thing is that SA is a multiracial country, we have all the races you can ever ask for, but unfortunately, those other races that are regarded as a minority happen to be much more successful compared to the entire black race as it surpasses them in number.

And we have what we call the white Monopoly capital and that white privilege that the white race have.

Our forefathers were never given a chance to invest into their own land, as the apartheid favoured the whites only.

While the whites were making investments and creating a legacy for their kids and the future generation, our forefathers were working as their slaves.

But a lot of black SA men are now working good jobs and they're doing quite good.. it just happens that there's still that stereotype of saying SA men are lazy because people are comparing the majority with the minority.

It's easy for a white privileged minority to be successful compared to a black majority that's just standing on its own with a history of apartheid.

I think you make a lot of excuses for your people and a bit close minded too.

High rape rates,car jacking, HIV rates etc in an already well built up country. I once planned to move to South Africa for my masters degree but lost interest after reading some stuffs from your online media. Funny enough, an average Nigerian especially an average Igbo man would treat your women better than your average South African male yet you clearly disdain us. You are blessed with a beautiful and already developed country, I just wish and pray that your citizens would have that change of mindset needed to provide the leadership that black Africa needs because my country is too disunited to do so. Nice profile picture.

Samantha123:
I'm very choosy when it comes to dating and when it comes to Nigerians, there's just this major cultural differences that I don't think I'd be able to cope with because I know how stubborn I can be, our behaviors and ways of life are way too different, so I'd rather stick to what I'm already familiar with.

I second this opinion about both countries cultures and believe there is a difference that would create conflicts down the line were both nationalities to get married or want long term relationships. Now I am not saying it is impossible for different cultures to get married and last but Nigeria is a very conservative culture with certain strict rules applying to marriage and relationships btw men and women.

I also believe there is a false perception that Nigerian men are extravagant on their women and this attracts a certain type of SA woman to these sorts of men. That myth needs to be dispelled as any relationship that is formed on this basis is superficial and will not stand the test of time.

Food is another big deal. SA and nigerian foods are far apart from each other and most Nigerian men would expect any woman they marry to at least attempt at making their food. This generally creates issues down the line as well.

South Africa culture on the other hand tends to be a bit more liberal to its approach to marriage and relationships.

Samantha123:
But a lot of black SA men are now working good jobs and they're doing quite good.. it just happens that there's still that stereotype of saying SA men are lazy because people are comparing the majority with the minority.

It's easy for a white privileged minority to be successful compared to a black majority that's just standing on its own with a history of apartheid.

I don't believe in this stereotype of lazy black SA men but I do believe there exists a certain amount of jealousy for the successes of foreign black Africans from South African men as it should be owing to the fact that noone would like to see another successful person existing in spaces they believe they are entitled to or reserved for them.

You see why I said we're too different?

Already you're trying to compare Nigerians with South Africans.

With you guys everything is always a competition and I hate this mentality that you guys have.

At first I thought maybe we were going to have a constructive discussion, but with the way this conversation is going, I've lost interest.

I'm done replying you and have a good evening.

greenermodels:
I think you make a lot of excuses for your people and a bit close minded too.

High rape rates,car jacking, HIV rates etc in an already well built up country. I once planned to move to South Africa for my masters degree but lost interest after reading some stuffs from your online media. Funny enough, an average Nigerian especially an average Igbo man would treat your women better than your average South African male yet you clearly disdain us. You are blessed with a beautiful and already developed country, I just wish and pray that your citizens would have that change of mindset needed to provide the leadership that black Africa needs because my country is too disunited to do so. Nice profile picture.

Thank you Sir, I like Nigerians like yourself who speak nothing but facts.

I believe you've answered the other guy above because I really don't have the energy to argue with him.

morpheus101:
I second this opinion about both countries cultures and believe there is a difference that would create conflicts down the line were both nationalities to get married or want long term relationships. Now I am not saying it is impossible for different cultures to get married and last but Nigeria is a very conservative culture with certain strict rules applying to marriage and relationships btw men and women.

I also believe there is a false perception that Nigerian men are extravagant on their women and this attracts a certain type of SA woman to these sorts of men. That myth needs to be dispelled as any relationship that is formed on this basis is superficial and will not stand the test of time.

Food is another big deal. SA and nigerian foods are far apart from each other and most Nigerian men would expect any woman they marry to at least attempt at making their food. This generally creates issues down the line as well.

South Africa culture on the other hand tends to be a bit more liberal to its approach to marriage and relationships.





I don't believe in this stereotype of lazy black SA men but I do believe there exists a certain amount of jealousy for the successes of foreign black Africans from South African men as it should be owing to the fact that noone would like to see another successful person existing in spaces they believe they are entitled to or reserved for them.

Samantha123:
Thank you Sir, I like Nigerians like yourself who speak nothing but facts.

I believe you've answered the other guy above because I really don't have the energy to argue with him.

I look forward to civil discussions between the two nationalities. There is an unfortunate stereotyping that I know exists in South Africa about the average Nigerian and I believe this to be the major issue behind this animosity.

I also owe this to the fact about the "group" of Nigerians that generally migrate to South Africa and skewing this perception. I dare any South African to come to Nigeria and spend time with the people here. It will be impossible to go back home with the same mind set.

My two cents.

Samantha123:
You see why I said we're too different?

Already you're trying to compare Nigerians with South Africans.

With you guys everything is always a competition and I hate this mentality that you guys have.

At first I thought maybe we were going to have a constructive discussion, but with the way this conversation is going, I've lost interest.

I'm done replying you and have a good evening.

Ouch,I must have struck a nerve there , have a nice week my friend.

Samantha123:
You see why I said we're too different?

Already you're trying to compare Nigerians with South Africans.

With you guys everything is always a competition and I hate this mentality that you guys have.

At first I thought maybe we were going to have a constructive discussion, but with the way this conversation is going, I've lost interest.

I'm done replying you and have a good evening.

Don't mind out competitive nature, its a consequence of our environment. Imagine you grew up in a country where there are 1,00 people gunning to buy a loaf of bread from 5 spaza shops in the area. You have to become ruthless in your mannerisms.

We are built that way.

Please educate your people about SA, because some of us don't have the energy to be arguing with people with no facts.

And what people don't know is that SA is still a developing country like any other African country, and other African nationals shouldn't expect much from it because we're still trying find a way to develop too.

morpheus101:
I look forward to civil discussions between the two nationalities. There is an unfortunate stereotyping that I know exists in South Africa about the average Nigerian and I believe this to be the major issue behind this animosity.

I also owe this to the fact about the "group" of Nigerians that generally migrate to South Africa and skewing this perception. I dare any South African to come to Nigeria and spend time with the people here. It will be impossible to go back home with the same mind set.

My two cents.

Samantha123:
Please educate your people about SA, because some of us don't have the energy to be arguing with people with no facts.

And what people don't know is that SA is still a developing country like any other African country, and other African nationals shouldn't expect much from it because we're still trying find a way to develop too.

I strongly suggest you not argue with people without any sense of facts or experience and only depend on social media for their information. It's a waste of your breath.

One thing I have personally noticed about South Africans is the effects and consequences of the aftermath of Apartheid. I have noticed that this is crosses with experiences of African Americans as well and do see a lot of similarities in the psychologies of both peoples.

Interesting conversation here...

You're doing a nice job Samantha.

What I'm curious about is why South African women have such nice bodies.

We have ladies with nice shapes in Nigeria, but it's not as common as it is in South Africa.

Is it the food or what exactly?

Well, we're not all like that, but I must say it has something to do with the genes.

curiousmae:
Interesting conversation here...

You're doing a nice job Samantha.

What I'm curious about is why South African women have such nice bodies.

We have ladies with nice shapes in Nigeria, but it's not as common as it is in South Africa.

Is it the food or what exactly?

IS IT LIKE AMERICA

A big fat NO!!!

SA is still a developing country like any other African country.

Don't let people deceive you by telling you that it's a place of milk and honey because you'll be disappointed.. We still have a long way to go.

fadal:
IS IT LIKE AMERICA

Samantha123:
A big fat NO!!!

SA is still a developing country like any other African country.

Don't let people deceive you by telling you that it's a place of milk and honey because you'll be disappointed.. We still have a long way to go.

ALRIGHT YO THANKS

curiousmae:
Interesting conversation here...

You're doing a nice job Samantha.

What I'm curious about is why South African women have such nice bodies.

We have ladies with nice shapes in Nigeria, but it's not as common as it is in South Africa.

Is it the food or what exactly?

Its genetics plus they may have inherited those big bums from their khoisan ancestors.

Samantha123:
Well, we're not all like that, but I must say it has something to do with the genes.

Oh

morpheus101:
Its genetics plus they may have inherited those big bums from their khoisan ancestors.

Alright

Samantha123:
I've noticed how most of the time there seems to be this war between SA and Nigeria here on nairaland. Maybe it's because the two nations don't really understand each other, I don't know.

But I'm willing to answer any questions you may have about SA, the good and the bad.

So, feel free to ask.

Why Do SA men hates Nigeria Men So Badly

I don't think they hate you guys, why do you say that?

FREDCLSSICO7:
Why Do SA men hates Nigeria Men So Badly

Samantha123:
I don't think they hate you guys, why do you say that?

Then why all the Xenophobic Attacks On My Nigeria People Over There?
Is There Something You're Not Telling Me?

Have you been to SA before?

FREDCLSSICO7:
Then why all the Xenophobic Attacks On My Nigeria People Over There?
Is There Something You're Not Telling Me?

Samantha123:
Have you been to SA before?

not been there b4

Then don't believe the propaganda that you see or hear from social media, or the internet.

FREDCLSSICO7:
not been there b4

Samantha123:
Then don't believe the propaganda that you see or hear from social media, or the internet.

are you trying to say they've not been any form of xenophobic attacks on nigerian men over there in S.A