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Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) - Travel (6) - Nairaland

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"You Have No Business Relocating Abroad If You’re 40 & Above" Abroad-based Lady / US-based Lady Reveals Why She Stopped Sending Money To Africa (Video) / Inside The Ill-fated Oceangate Titan Submarine That Imploded Killing 5 (Pic/Vid) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by Damseldammie(f): 12:28pm On Dec 02, 2022
Werey somebody


Murasi
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by harmargedon: 12:32pm On Dec 02, 2022
Dialpad:
Nigerians love this give me give me mentality.

Even if you try help them set up a business, they will ruin it because they prefer the free money you send to them on a regular basis.

Many of you guys need a change of mindset.
but when e choke una for there, nah still we una go call
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by Gerrard59(m): 12:33pm On Dec 02, 2022
Spanishmilf:
which state you dey wey cost of living is cheaper?

There are many states with ridiculously low costs of living in Nigeria. If Nigeria was as safe as, say Namibia, na Plateau I for base.
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by Shikena(m): 1:08pm On Dec 02, 2022
The biggest problem is when you refuse to accept that there is a problem when the problem is right there staring at you. Instead of attacking her, we should address our entitlement mentality then we can solve the big problem. The bad ones are causing issues for the good ones among us. We underestimate the sheer volume of funds coming into different economies from outside.

Due to our population, Nigeria has been a huge beneficiary of this and a chunk of those benefiting are betraying the trust of their benefactors. This is not just about Nigerians in diaspora, even international agencies, churches, partners, independent donors, grant providers are discovering that most of our people are simply not trustworthy. This is seriously affecting our economy that we are actively mismanaging in collusion with our people in government every blessed day.

We need to start having this conversation.

Why do we always think we are smarter than people trying to help us? Why do we always assume that we are the only ones with issues that must be resolved immediately? Why do we tend to see others as meal ticket? Don't take this personal, the 'we' in each sentence refer to those guilty of doing it.

3 Likes

Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by freenature: 1:09pm On Dec 02, 2022
dnawah:
eat alone and die alone.one day kwa we go come there and we go do like say we no know you. tongue tongue tongue


Many of you people don't know that UK billings alone is killing. By the time you get your pay of probably 2K pounds and already out of this pay almost 60% of it has gone into taxes why wouldn't anyone be in the vexing mood and the work is seriously drilling.

1 Like

Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by haphizz57(m): 1:13pm On Dec 02, 2022
How much is the last price
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by Shikena(m): 1:22pm On Dec 02, 2022
Instead of bugging them with request for money to address your own issues, how about helping them solve a problem and then create a strategy that grows both parties?

Get off your lazy ass, find a good business or unencumbered property that your friend/family working abroad can invest in. Do all the ground work since you know the terrain better. Stake your integrity on it and get the person to invest, state your fees also and make it very reasonable, most definitely won't mind as that is standard where they live. If it works with your integrity intact, you are on to something and the diaspora love to spread words about what works well at home (most of you simply have no idea how huge you can become simply based on your integrity alone).

What I have just described is how many Nigerians have become millionaires (not overnight) by leveraging their network, integrity and diligence. It takes time but it works. It is not motivational talk, it is reality and there are several examples of such success stories around that you don't even know.

4 Likes

Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by Soulvein: 1:27pm On Dec 02, 2022
I am reading comments on this thread and shaking my head. The same way my US based elder sister is always hesitating to pick or return calls, thinking every call is an attempt to bill her.

There is no reason why your family won't bill you if you are based abroad because you are far better than them. The most important thing is to do the best you can and leave the rest to God.

If you have the means, as an abroad based Nigerian, help one or two siblings to travel out of the country by either paying their tuition or providing proof of payment. By so doing, everyone will not be relying on you alone to support the family. But some Nigerians are too selfish and will never help any of their relatives to travel out of the country. They want to be the only ones doing well and prefer to watch others struggling to get by and living off the crumbs they send home.

It is very unwise going on social media to video record yourself and complaining about billings from home even when you have not really done much for anyone back home. If opportunities abound here in Nigeria like you have it abroad, no one will give a hoot about another person in a foreign land.

When you start ignoring all calls from immediate relatives because you think everyone is after your money, you will soon be left alone!
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by lagonovo: 1:38pm On Dec 02, 2022
Na so my uncle's friend dey para last week.

Baba don try for folks at home from friends to family to classmates, and you hear about it everywhere. New set of gated estates just sprang up in his hometown. Not one person mentioned this to him and most them bought lands there. They are quick to run to him with calls for help because he is in America but not one person ever share any news about opportunities to the good man hustling abroad and depriving his own children the quality life at par with their friends out there just to help his beloved people in Nigeria. Even the one time his name appeared for political appointment, his close friend betrayed him and got his name removed. We no try at all.

3 Likes

Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by freenature: 1:48pm On Dec 02, 2022
Shikena:
Instead of bugging them with request for money to address your own issues, how about helping them solve a problem and then create a strategy that grows both parties?

Get off your lazy ass, find a good business or unencumbered property that your friend/family working abroad can invest in. Do all the ground work since you know the terrain better. Stake your integrity on it and get the person to invest, state your fees also and make it very reasonable, most definitely won't mind as that is standard where they live. If it works with your integrity intact, you are on to something and the diaspora love to spread words about what works well at home (most of you simply have no idea how huge you can become simply based on your integrity alone).

What I have just described is how many Nigerians have become millionaires (not overnight) by leveraging their network, integrity and diligence. It takes time but it works. It is not motivational talk, it is reality and there are several examples of such success stories around that you don't even know.

I will still let you know that many of these folks don't want to grow and be by themselves when you are even trying to make them level up. I will look as if you are trying to rule their life while others squander the funds for self gratification and non grande things.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by freenature: 1:49pm On Dec 02, 2022
lagonovo:
Na so my uncle's friend dey para last week.

Baba don try for folks at home from friends to family to classmates, and you hear about it everywhere. New set of gated estates just sprang up in his hometown. Not one person mentioned this to him and most them bought lands there. They are quick to run to him with calls for help because he is in America but not one person ever share any news about opportunities to the good man hustling abroad and depriving his own children the quality life at per with their friends out there just to help his beloved people in Nigeria. Even the one time his name appeared for political appointment, his close friend betrayed him and got his name removed. We no try at all.


This is exactly what I am saying. This is just an example, there are many other terrible ones.

3 Likes

Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by vengertime: 2:14pm On Dec 02, 2022
bassidogeorge:


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Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by viodemus: 2:22pm On Dec 02, 2022
Shikena:
The biggest problem is when you refuse to accept that there is a problem when the problem is right there staring at you. Instead of attacking her, we should address our entitlement mentality then we can solve the big problem. The bad ones are causing issues for the good ones among us. We underestimate the sheer volume of funds coming into different economies from outside.

Due to our population, Nigeria has been a huge beneficiary of this and a chunk of those benefiting are betraying the trust of their benefactors. This is not just about Nigerians in diaspora, even international agencies, churches, partners, independent donors, grant providers are discovering that most of our people are simply not trustworthy. This is seriously affecting our economy that we are actively mismanaging in collusion with our people in government every blessed day.

We need to start having this conversation.

Why do we always think we are smarter than people trying to help us? Why do we always assume that we are the only ones with issues that must be resolved immediately? Why do we tend to see others as meal ticket? Don't take this personal, the 'we' in each sentence refer to those guilty of doing it.


This whole subject funny.
Dem dun use laff quack me for here.

Many people are making points here, I can't quote all, but i think you rewinded my lifestyle

When my sisters first japa in the 90s, then by 2000s when I dun grow with my younger brother. Na so i just dey bother am, if she call my mama and i dey house, she go say make she talk to me, within 1 min, i dun tell am make she send money, she go dey try tell me say she still dey study this and that, na so i go just provoke hang phone. When i dey campus, I go tell my guy make he call her wey just send me money last week, talk say dem dun kidnap me blah blah ...

E get when she begin dey do more for us, both of my sisters at this time, dem wan cun rebuild house for my popsi, na so me and my brother, go just troop go there, when we know say she dun pay contractor, when my mama dun give the guy the money, na so we mask up with some of our guy, block the contactor, cun rob am, sometimes use slap intimidate the middle aged man wey get family. Enuff axe, and even more dangerous weapon to show am some visible. D guy go just humble give us the money. Many of them quit The house no ever complete until me and my bro japa. My other two older brothers dey NA, so dem no dey ever dey area.

We no know say our sisters dem been dey try for us, God forgive me, e even get time wey we plan rob her husband for airport rd. But na him brother been dey motor, so we rob am unto say we dey vex.

Then, when we go yankee, for the 1st six weeks or so, I dey see my sister like less than 30mins a day, sometimes one week, because she dey do live in, - the money sef no buoyant. na still phone call like say I still dey Naija, if you go the other one house, na the same thing. If dem come back from work, dem no dey sleep straight for bed, dem dey sleep side way for bed, so that dem no go over sleep. My sister go dey sick, dey remember say my mama dey sick unto wetin we dey tell her for Naija, say mumsi dey sick but she no wan talk; my sister think say na true, cun dey over hustle for peanuts, dey go school right after pregnancy months before we come. My beautiful sisters cun dey dry for skin value.

One day, me and my brother, cun force both of them to come for emergency meeting with us, we come kneel down, dey beg dem, dey cry, that day I call myself bastard with parents. We beg them, dem follow us cry. Omo, from that day, we enter gear. Na one of the hustle fire, I get till today.

That house, we done build am, buy them cars, give them money, include them on vacations, give them percentage from some of our businesses, I no dey use dem or their pikin play. But I no wan spoil their pikin, even though say dem get enough video games and many toys including educational toys from us. I only find about two of those contractors, i give them money in millions, one of the guy son na my young paddy today, working with us, get new motor, him say him no wan go school but he dey work with me and my bro. Him account dun buoyant to dey help their relatives. He dun help our business improve alot with him value. One of my trusted people today, my brother dey send am go Indonesia or thailand, him like asia, he dun tag with me go some african countries and he g with us, follow us go jand for family fun. I still no dey feel say, I dun pay for my sins finish. E get another 3rd guy, wey we neva see yet, nobody know where he dey, but i still dey beg God to direct me to that guy. We or I, dey right my wrong. I buy my sisters,massage beds. Dem dey come Naija at will, my sister husband younger bro, dey try, he too like shayo, so business no dey last for him hand. But he no dey lack necessity or some materialistic things

We do more evil acts to family and others, wey be say na one string remain make the relationships break finish. I just dey tell you knee level. I still no dey believe say na me and my bro do all those things. But hope dey.


This japa mata, na government fault and mass illiteracy on the issue. If person work, he suppose fit eat, drink water, drop cup. Even mediocre successful people for Nigeria, not govt money diverters, I dey talk hard workers with hope of more tunnel light, no fit move anyhow without everybody on their neck. Nigerian leaders no dey respect a great country like Nigeria on any level.

No mind my epistle, I still dey confess my sins, but I gatz dey move ahead.

2 Likes

Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by drakeli: 2:35pm On Dec 02, 2022
dnawah:
eat alone and die alone.one day kwa we go come there and we go do like say we no know you. tongue tongue tongue

God created man to die alone. Whether you eat alone or eat with millions of people. Na die you go die alone. Nobody go follow you die

2 Likes

Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by topsam1(m): 2:42pm On Dec 02, 2022
She should help more family and friends into the country...shikena
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by Realist5: 2:55pm On Dec 02, 2022
By God's grace, I live a happy life. I am a Federal government worker an entrepreneur as well as an employer of labour. Do not quote me again and kindly get a meaningful life to live.
unbiased2021:


You sound like you beg for a living.
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by int0x80(m): 3:34pm On Dec 02, 2022
If you don't learn how to say big NO to the folks in Nigeria, they will drain your bank account and will start laughing at you afterwards. I don't run charitable organization here, I only help when it's extremely needed grin grin

3 Likes

Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by PapaFejiro: 3:37pm On Dec 02, 2022
Everyone must surely die alone before. No matter the help she renders, when she die no one will say dem wan die follow her.
[quoteauthor=dnawah post=118813110]eat alone and die alone.one day kwa we go come there and we go do like say we no know you. tongue tongue tongue[/quote]
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by t2luv1: 3:50pm On Dec 02, 2022
ValCon888:
They'll manage to get to yankee or jand, and start to act like they're in heaven.

God punish these bad leaders for making this place a shithole, including the ignorant masses that continue to vote them into power to impoverish the people.

I see no reason why one would leave the comforts and familiarity of their motherland to japa to the hostile environments of an unknown land if not for wicked and selfish leaders.

Cost of living is cheaper here. The only thing we need is visionary leadership to improve the quality of living.

If you don't happen to have won the sperm lottery of being born to a rich father or into a rich family in Nigeria, partner you are already down by two strikes. The average government worker gets paid 30k while the cost of buying land in a decent area starts from 5m. Partner, that country is in a very very bad shape a visionary leader is the least of Nigeria's problems.
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by Hassanmaye(m): 4:08pm On Dec 02, 2022
Seankhalifa:
true talk... abeg I fit get 10k grin
Haha
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by Hotice085: 4:49pm On Dec 02, 2022
Bvlgari:
Why i dont like calling my friends & family in Nigeria - UK based lady


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnyI70bH5QU

She said it's because of bills, each time she calls, they will bill her with their financial problems.
.


Very worwor looking

1 Like

Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by sammirano: 4:53pm On Dec 02, 2022
ednut1:
The obsession to trend ehn. See mini hippo wey suppose dey hide her face

Fuc*k you! angry
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by Shikena(m): 5:49pm On Dec 02, 2022
You have a good heart. May God continue to bless you and your family.

viodemus:



This whole subject funny.
Dem dun use laff quack me for here.

Many people are making points here, I can't quote all, but i think you rewinded my lifestyle

When my sisters first japa in the 90s, then by 2000s when I dun grow with my younger brother. Na so i just dey bother am, if she call my mama and i dey house, she go say make she talk to me, within 1 min, i dun tell am make she send money, she go dey try tell me say she still dey study this and that, na so i go just provoke hang phone. When i dey campus, I go tell my guy make he call her wey just send me money last week, talk say dem dun kidnap me blah blah ...

E get when she begin dey do more for us, both of my sisters at this time, dem wan cun rebuild house for my popsi, na so me and my brother, go just troop go there, when we know say she dun pay contractor, when my mama dun give the guy the money, na so we mask up with some of our guy, block the contactor, cun rob am, sometimes use slap intimidate the middle aged man wey get family. Enuff axe, and even more dangerous weapon to show am some visible. D guy go just humble give us the money. Many of them quit The house no ever complete until me and my bro japa. My other two older brothers dey NA, so dem no dey ever dey area.

We no know say our sisters dem been dey try for us, God forgive me, e even get time wey we plan rob her husband for airport rd. But na him brother been dey motor, so we rob am unto say we dey vex.

Then, when we go yankee, for the 1st six weeks or so, I dey see my sister like less than 30mins a day, sometimes one week, because she dey do live in, - the money sef no buoyant. na still phone call like say I still dey Naija, if you go the other one house, na the same thing. If dem come back from work, dem no dey sleep straight for bed, dem dey sleep side way for bed, so that dem no go over sleep. My sister go dey sick, dey remember say my mama dey sick unto wetin we dey tell her for Naija, say mumsi dey sick but she no wan talk; my sister think say na true, cun dey over hustle for peanuts, dey go school right after pregnancy months before we come. My beautiful sisters cun dey dry for skin value.

One day, me and my brother, cun force both of them to come for emergency meeting with us, we come kneel down, dey beg dem, dey cry, that day I call myself bastard with parents. We beg them, dem follow us cry. Omo, from that day, we enter gear. Na one of the hustle fire, I get till today.

That house, we done build am, buy them cars, give them money, include them on vacations, give them percentage from some of our businesses, I no dey use dem or their pikin play. But I no wan spoil their pikin, even though say dem get enough video games and many toys including educational toys from us. I only find about two of those contractors, i give them money in millions, one of the guy son na my young paddy today, working with us, get new motor, him say him no wan go school but he dey work with me and my bro. Him account dun buoyant to dey help their relatives. He dun help our business improve alot with him value. One of my trusted people today, my brother dey send am go Indonesia or thailand, him like asia, he dun tag with me go some african countries and he g with us, follow us go jand for family fun. I still no dey feel say, I dun pay for my sins finish. E get another 3rd guy, wey we neva see yet, nobody know where he dey, but i still dey beg God to direct me to that guy. We or I, dey right my wrong. I buy my sisters,massage beds. Dem dey come Naija at will, my sister husband younger bro, dey try, he too like shayo, so business no dey last for him hand. But he no dey lack necessity or some materialistic things

We do more evil acts to family and others, wey be say na one string remain make the relationships break finish. I just dey tell you knee level. I still no dey believe say na me and my bro do all those things. But hope dey.


This japa mata, na government fault and mass illiteracy on the issue. If person work, he suppose fit eat, drink water, drop cup. Even mediocre successful people for Nigeria, not govt money diverters, I dey talk hard workers with hope of more tunnel light, no fit move anyhow without everybody on their neck. Nigerian leaders no dey respect a great country like Nigeria on any level.

No mind my epistle, I still dey confess my sins, but I gatz dey move ahead.

1 Like

Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by 77up(m): 5:53pm On Dec 02, 2022
Spanishmilf:
because we dont pay tax here you assume cost of living is cheap
Can 200k get you a nice apartment in lagos?
We only love to argue on nairaland even when the reality is there. Convert your 200k to dollar and tell us what can get you in US.
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by ekerintee: 5:57pm On Dec 02, 2022
Most Nigerians don't understand this.Its only when you have paid all your monthly bills that you can think of helping anyone.infact ,some of the bills are programmed to be deducted from your bank account monthly and U have no choice .some pple find it easy and have good jobs tht pay well,some do 2 or 3 jobs to be able to save and some stand up to 10 hours working so hard ,some have to wake up as early as 4am to go to work.so when somebody who does not know what they do to survive ask them for money,they feel very angry.The best is to give if you have ,Uare not under any obligation to give anyone money and don't let anyone make U feel bad for not helping anyone.when you are broke abroad ,nobody to help,nobody will pay your bills for u








uuzba:


Nigerians back home will NEVER be convinced that things are difficult overseas.
So they are ALWAYS going to beg for money if you call them back home.
Don't waste your time trying to convince them otherwise.
If you just don't have money to give them, then stop calling them.
-
I'm in Nigeria here. I have a cousin in UK there. But we call each other and talk all the time without me begging him for money.
This is only possible because I too lived in the UK at a time and suffered everything he is suffering.
So I know 1000% that he doesn't have money. We can talk normally about any other topic except money, and his mind is at rest.
But for his own siblings that have not yet travelled and don't understand, he has to blocked their contact as they were not allowing him sleep.
Begging for money 24/7.

1 Like

Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by GreyLaw(m): 9:23pm On Dec 02, 2022
ValCon888:
They'll manage to get to yankee or jand, and start to act like they're in heaven.

God punish these bad leaders for making this place a shithole, including the ignorant masses that continue to vote them into power to impoverish the people.

I see no reason why one would leave the comforts and familiarity of their motherland to japa to the hostile environments of an unknown land if not for wicked and selfish leaders.

Cost of living is cheaper here. The only thing we need is visionary leadership to improve the quality of living.

I respectfully disagree that cost of living is cheaper in Nigeria considering myriads of factors bedevolking Nigeria. To be alive in Nigeria is expensive. What I just wrote is figurative and those who think critically will understand it.

If you think only in monetary terms, you may be correct, but add other factors like insecurity, inadequate electric power, bad roads, poor food and water safety, multiple taxes from local government to federal, etc, then you'll come to terms that life in Nigeria is risky and costly.
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by caesymore(m): 12:03am On Dec 03, 2022
Godstiger:
even we wey dey here dey fear to call a relation, talk much of you wey dey oversea(obodo oyido)What do you expect


Them think say na by Stingy but them no go understand

1 Like

Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by Spanishmilf(m): 12:37am On Dec 03, 2022
77up:
We only love to argue on nairaland even when the reality is there. Convert your 200k to dollar and tell us what can get you in US.
do they spend naira in the us or do we spend dollar here?
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by MarxisGLABACK: 1:10am On Dec 03, 2022
BUT U GO DEY POST UR LAVISH LIFESTYLES OVER THERE MAKE THEM DEY SEE U ON FACEBOOK.
WHAT RUBBISH, IS ONLY A PRIVILEGE, U AIN'T BETTER THAN THEM
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by unbiased2021: 3:48am On Dec 03, 2022
Realist5:
By God's grace, I live a happy life. I am a Federal government worker an entrepreneur as well as an employer of labour. Do not quote me again and kindly get a meaningful life to live.

Get your judging skull out of my space.
Lol you think I’m not living a meaningful life cos you’re able to buy data with your paltry pay?

And don’t quote me again either.
Re: Why I Dont Like Calling My Friends & Family In Nigeria - UK Based Lady (pic/vid) by Emmanuel909090: 5:13am On Dec 03, 2022
Lol, just help those you can and shut up

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