₦airaland Forum

frozen70:
Lol, na both of us they weed am naw
You are the supplier

Go and soak Garri with chilled ice water , don’t walk in the sun for now cos you I’ll just go Gaga if you do, Chai , I’ll be praying for you.

The moment a married woman allow another man to sleep with her, the things will not be the same again. I'm passing through the same thing now. Your wife has tested forbidden fruit and its very hard for her to change. If the man friend drop her today, she will find another one the next day. It's only her that can make the marriage work again not you. No matter what you did, you can't change her.

Thegoodone13:
The moment a married woman allow another man to sleep with her, the things will not be the same again. I'm passing through the same thing now. Your wife has tested forbidden fruit and its very hard for her to change. If the man friend drop her today, she will find another one the next day. It's only her that can make the marriage work again not you. No matter what you did, you can change her.

Sorry bro,are you still with her?

Trying to reconcile?

Meandmycrew:
When you act weak in front of women they will take advantage of you, you are so emotional and your wife can see that in you. She knows you love her so much and probably that why she is doing what she is doing. I tell men most times dont over pamper and over love your woman.Love her but dnt over show it. Baba you need to stand your ground and act like the man of the house and put in her place if she misbehave . i love men who dont take shit from
Women. Atimes try to bring out the beast in you it will help them reset their brain.

Do you realise that Op said she is really ready to leave? That alone changes everything. This looks like someone is either showing her real love or deceiving her outside.
If she's on the verge of leaving, this advice will help her do what she wants to do. Op is ready to simp to save his marriage, your advice should be tailored towards that.

ogene144:
My brother divorce her or let her go u Wil see better person don't be suffering and smilling

He can’t he’s already too weak as a man and she knows it hence that behavior from her.

leisuretym:
Go and soak Garri with chilled ice water , don’t walk in the sun for now cos you I’ll just go Gaga if you do, Chai , I’ll be praying for you.

🤦‍♀️

As u have spoken to her to no avail, just give her space for some time, di what u canto take care of the children and herself too then let nature take its course. U don’t worry much about everything. Time will unveil lots later.

You do not need community input in your marriage.
Seek help from any of these:

1. Someone both of you respect mutually.
2. Someone YOU hold in high regard.
3. Your place of Prayer.

Don’t be desperate or anxious for anything and do not think your world will end if you loose her.

You must understand and submit to this TRUTH - That God is all you need, to have all your needs met!

frozen70:
🤦‍♀️

✅

frozen70:
Well you have to calm down at this point and be ready take it very calm with her

Just keep loving her and assist her at home and where needed

She will notice the improvement in you and that may bring her mind back home

Wake the kids and prepare them for school before leaving and ask her what she is preparing for their lunch

Get things that you are not use to bringing home, hand it over to her and tell her that is for she and the kids, even is she is coming home by 10pm, hand it over to her

This valentine, ask her to pick a place she wants you guys to visit with the children and ask her what time is good for the outing

Keep doing good and loving and definitely she will have a rethink

I purposely don't want to ask you what you did to her or why the sudden change in her
There is no smoke with out fire

Women are drama queens

This move will end in complete failure and his wife will hate him more.

Women and rethink after they tasted another gbola or start having an emotional affair

Simp

GeorgWashinton:
My marriage was peaceful and built on solid love. Just late last year did I started seeing something different.
There's no cause for that.

Something must have happened, either financially or physically.

Look deep in your mind, you will realize that change that must have made the change in her...

OlawaleBammie:
Reason she's holding u ransom...

As a man, even if u re weak or desperate never show it to Ur wife, always act like u dont care so much, act like psychos.. believe me Ur marriage will always go well, just don't maltreat or beat Ur woman, treat her right and give her what u re capable of...then add small small weyreyism to the equation and see how Ur marriage will be balanced.

As crazy as this sounds, it's actually true in most cases

GeorgWashinton:
Although I sat her down and talked to her but seems to yield no fruit.

I'm going on the second idea. Thank you.

Please allow the poor woman to go. She probably couldn't put up with a certified simp anymore

GeorgWashinton:
I love my wife and wouldn't want her to leave me, how do I build back my home to how it was? I seriously need my wife by my side and the peace restored.

Everyone telling you to give up without a fight is speaking lies from the pit of hell. Everyone insulting your wife is speaking lies from the pit of hell because none of us know the true story.

This is a case where you must decide if you want to satisfy your ego as a man and follow some misguided comments or if you want to pursue the path of peace. Peace and ego do not go together.

You must find a way to remove fear and worry from your heart. Try not to to react to her or anyone's negative news. If she threatens divorce tell her "I love you enough to let you go".
Don't worry about disciplining her, you will do that after you have the marriage on track.
Work on yourself physically - important, spiritually, work on your peace. Do not bring a sidechick into the picture because a sidechick will complicate matters.
Also sometimes women stay with their spouses because they have not found another woman to hand over the man to - if you bring in a new woman you are not sure of marrying, your wife might wrongly feel you have someone who can handle the home front with you and that will hasten her departure.
Play with your kids, take them out for evening walks.

I want you to stop assuming that your wife is lying when she says you are not treating her right There is something called the 5 Love languages. If you do 200% of what is not your spouse's love language it makes no impact.

For example I know my husband's love language is gifts and physical touch, so when it's time for his birthday I start to save months ahead. My love language is acts of service and quality time. I have told my spouse not to bother with many gifts as they mean nothing to me. It's prefer that we are both in the kitchen, cooking together and gifting. What I understand here is that you are giving your wife 100% of your own love language and not her own love language that is why or seems like she is lying.

Take your eye off her..for like a week don't complain of her attitude towards you nor your children, try and take care of your kids by your self if you can....after one week if she didn't notice change in her attitude call her and please don't argue with her please....ask her what you have done wrong....if she explains fine if she didn't still leave her ...
Continue doing your thing tell her divorce is not the viable option here.....sir hope you are bringing something to the table?

You can fix it where possible


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofe4NNmX4As

GeorgWashinton:
My marriage has suddenly been plagued by sadness and sorrow.

I'm married for ten years now and my marriage has yielded us two beautiful kids. But my wife has just suddenly changed. She doesn't cook for me and the kids any more. She comes back from work late sometimes by 9pm. She picks calls at odd hours and sometimes doesn't let me hear or understand the conversation. I complained but she said I was insecure and that nothing is wrong.

Few weeks ago I found a love letter she wrote but undated and nameless. She said she wrote it for me. I was heartbroken because I know for a fact that it was not for me.

My wife is threatening to divorce me citing that I'm maltreating her which was purely a lie and a false pretext to leave me.

I love my wife and wouldn't want her to leave me, how do I build back my home to how it was? I seriously need my wife by my side and the peace restored.

I'll suggest you seek for a marriage counseling as Nairaland is not a good place to seek good advice. If you're looking for advice here, you're going to learn to destroy your family from those with failed homes and those with no marriage or single parents.

One of the things that I learnt from my parents is to support each other. Which is one of the things that keeps families. My dad doesn't do house chores but he will always be around my mom when she's doing anything. If my mom is picking the beans my dad will be around gisting her he might not pick, he can help put the water on fire and bringing engaging topics just to keep them talking.

I'll just say that you try to do things that your wife used to do, like cook, do the laundries, clean the house etc almost render her useless, try to engage her in conversations, spend time with her the most. You can go to eateries once in a week maybe on Sundays after service for lunch. Feb 14 is coming buy something good for her don't worry if she doesn't really appreciates it.

No one is going to help you keep your marriage, it all depends on your response to what is happening. And also pray hard always, things is good you pray when bad you pray. I pray God help you fix your marriage amen.

Let her go.

fman:
U r a fooolish SIMP just like moh247

Please let the simple man be.

GeorgWashinton:
My marriage has suddenly been plagued by sadness and sorrow.

I'm married for ten years now and my marriage has yielded us two beautiful kids. But my wife has just suddenly changed. She doesn't cook for me and the kids any more. She comes back from work late sometimes by 9pm. She picks calls at odd hours and sometimes doesn't let me hear or understand the conversation. I complained but she said I was insecure and that nothing is wrong.

Few weeks ago I found a love letter she wrote but undated and nameless. She said she wrote it for me. I was heartbroken because I know for a fact that it was not for me.

My wife is threatening to divorce me citing that I'm maltreating her which was purely a lie and a false pretext to leave me.

I love my wife and wouldn't want her to leave me, how do I build back my home to how it was? I seriously need my wife by my side and the peace restored.

Pray over it, go closer to your kids because d next thing she will do is to poison their mind towards you, if you get trusted friends and family to talk to her and she is still adamant. Pls let her go, your is more important and the children needs you.

If this story is real, move on! If a woman starts acting that way, nothing can bring her back until she eats what she wants and learn from her mistakes, and I think it will be too late. Man up! Plenty women looking for you are there, threaten her with divorce too and if she dares to continue, push her sorry ass outta the house and secure your kids.

Op I really feel your plight, but the truth of the matter is that, you're the one that is still in love with your wife, she no longer cares, her mind is with someone else, who is deceiving and already sleeping with her. Get your family and her family involved in the matter. If she doesn't change, please let go, don't kill yourself before your time or life a miserable life because of a cheating wife who no longer wants you. Give her an ultimatum to change, if she doesn't, please kick the bitch out of your house, before she kicks you out of the world, no woman worths it.










Mynd44 my eyes are on you, know that and know peace

GeorgWashinton:
My marriage has suddenly been plagued by sadness and sorrow.

I'm married for ten years now and my marriage has yielded us two beautiful kids. But my wife has just suddenly changed. She doesn't cook for me and the kids any more. She comes back from work late sometimes by 9pm. She picks calls at odd hours and sometimes doesn't let me hear or understand the conversation. I complained but she said I was insecure and that nothing is wrong.

Few weeks ago I found a love letter she wrote but undated and nameless. She said she wrote it for me. I was heartbroken because I know for a fact that it was not for me.

My wife is threatening to divorce me citing that I'm maltreating her which was purely a lie and a false pretext to leave me.

I love my wife and wouldn't want her to leave me, how do I build back my home to how it was? I seriously need my wife by my side and the peace restored.

I may not know the root cause of this challenge, however I'll suggest You consult Your mentor, i.e someone You and your spouse look up to and listens to. It could be a Spiritual personality too. Talking to her parents Is another option and above all pray, pray, pray and pray. The devil is after Your marriage and hope but you must not let him win.

kingreign:
Marriage isn’t not meant to be built solely on love or beauty or fantasies and they lived happily ever after fairytale stories. This is your mistake 1.

Men ought to be in charge at all times, be daring and caring, be unpredictable and mysterious with an air of bravery some stints of dictatorship and these are lacking in you. This is your mistake 2.

At this point, involving your friends will only bring insults mockery and all sort of degradation to you within your circle of friends. Involve her family and yours, tell them your mind and if they’re not ready to call her to order, wield the big stick stick.

OP follow this guy man's advice, na pure alpa!!!
Na so I take they manage them and never fall in love with a woman no matter how special she is but show her pure love even if she leaves, she can never replace you in her lifetime. Been Mysterious is key.
Sometimes you go just see your other self!!!

GeorgWashinton:
My marriage has suddenly been plagued by sadness and sorrow.

I'm married for ten years now and my marriage has yielded us two beautiful kids. But my wife has just suddenly changed. She doesn't cook for me and the kids any more. She comes back from work late sometimes by 9pm. She picks calls at odd hours and sometimes doesn't let me hear or understand the conversation. I complained but she said I was insecure and that nothing is wrong.

Few weeks ago I found a love letter she wrote but undated and nameless. She said she wrote it for me. I was heartbroken because I know for a fact that it was not for me.

My wife is threatening to divorce me citing that I'm maltreating her which was purely a lie and a false pretext to leave me.

I love my wife and wouldn't want her to leave me, how do I build back my home to how it was? I seriously need my wife by my side and the peace restored.

I'm trying to figure out one or two. Are you a burden to your wife ? Like you don't take care of the family issues? How come your wife now has that level of security even after 10years of marriage? Who's making her feel that secured? You must first dig deep. Trust me if you are really being the man of the family both in presence and providence then whatever your wife is feeling at this time is illusionary.

There is not much you can do .... you can take the horse to the water but you can't make him drink. From what you wrote most likely your wife been sleeping with someone else and wants to be with that person. Women do not reason like men ... we are wired differently ... when a woman's mind is made up to do something... there is no turning back or detours .... whatever you tell her will go in one ear and out the other ... don't stress yourself with reasoning her ... that part of her brain is shut down. Let her feel free to file for divorce... but move heaven and earth if you have to have custody of your kids. Make sure you do DNA test .... take nothing for granted. It will be hard... more so because it is sudden. Instead of being angry or pleading with her... look in the mirror ... reflect on signs that you missed .... mistakes / shortcomings you have made ... gather yourself together and set your mind to move on.

GeorgWashinton:
My marriage has suddenly been plagued by sadness and sorrow.

I'm married for ten years now and my marriage has yielded us two beautiful kids. But my wife has just suddenly changed. She doesn't cook for me and the kids any more. She comes back from work late sometimes by 9pm. She picks calls at odd hours and sometimes doesn't let me hear or understand the conversation. I complained but she said I was insecure and that nothing is wrong.

Few weeks ago I found a love letter she wrote but undated and nameless. She said she wrote it for me. I was heartbroken because I know for a fact that it was not for me.

My wife is threatening to divorce me citing that I'm maltreating her which was purely a lie and a false pretext to leave me.

I love my wife and wouldn't want her to leave me, how do I build back my home to how it was? I seriously need my wife by my side and the peace restored.

Can we hear your wife's version of the story?
Very important

Your wife is hooked to another man. I suggest you start planning for a temporary survival without her. She's made up to go, but I believe she will return after some time.

Only prayers and words of wisdom can stop her from leaving.