abobote:
Madam husband wife, husband wife madam .

This your right up doesn't flow well

As in holes dey the thing like crazy

pocohantas:


E go surprise you. Best believe I have seen someone at my place of work whose husband stormed the office because of two days training. 2 days, not two weeks!

And the authority did not arrest the idiot?

Nigeria is lawless honestly.

pocohantas:


E go surprise you. Best believe I have seen someone at my place of work whose husband stormed the office because of two days training. 2 days, not two weeks!

Na wa o, when i first saw "Family vs Career", I thought it was a big problem until I saw that it is 5 days absence is causing issues.

KanwuliaExtra:
Career FIRST always.
You can lose your husband and children, but your career can NEVER be taken away from you.
We live in a selfish world currently.
These same people called 'husband' and 'children' will ABANDON YOU if you fail to secure your future.

Ladies and gentleman. . . don't let the illusion of marriage and family fool you.
Marriage and family are always the first and second to go. . . Then, what do you have?

Look around you?
The people who die miserably are those who failed to secure their futures and spent their whole lives sacrificing themselves for EXTREMELY SELFISH spouses and children.

Children are the WORST! If they can't get anything from you. . . you are irrelevant to them o.
Spouse nko. . . never to be trusted.

You must have a balance. . . if not, choose your career and stick with it.

Your spouse and children will always earn your respect because YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO DEPEND ON THEM.

Evil, but sounds very reasonable

Miyachi:

I agree with kozmicity on this. The post stated that she had already registered for the course long before she intimated the husband about it. If she had told him earlier, would they not have had ample time to prepare towards it? I think there are deeper issues as someone had earlier said, but what I can say from the story is that the woman is manipulative.

Please rest. My spouse did not know I had applied to go back for a second degree until I showed him my admission letter. Till today i find ceritifcates of courses in his wardrobe that he completes and doesn't remember to share with me. It has not killed the marriage. She gave him 2 months notice for a week long trip. That is fair.
What I don't understand is why the couple is unable to find someone to take care of the kids for one week.
They have enough time

Streetmovement:
Wotoporiously speaking

No comments, cuz if there was understanding between both parties this wouldn't have been an issue at all to begin with.

Couples who don't have understanding tend to have issues the most especially on small issues like this

The misunderstanding came about when the wife booked a one week teaching training all the way to Netherlands Holland with €800 refund after day 5.
And the husband was not aware until 2 months to the alleged programme.
It is not the programme that is the issue.
It is a whole something else that was thrown into the fray that brought the misuu

descarado:

And the authority did not arrest the idiot?

Nigeria is lawless honestly.

We were too stunned to speak sef. It was during work hours o. He was shouting! The lady was embarrassed. We had to rally around her and told her it is nothing. This was after he has gone. He spent like 1hr+, that seemed like a year.🤣🤣🤣

tosinhtml:


Na wa o, when i first saw "Family vs Career", I thought it was a big problem until I saw that it is 5 days absence is causing issues.

This lady was scheduled for a training. Friday and Saturday. To come back Sunday morning. He came to the office on Thursday. Lmao!

baralatie:
■ The misunderstanding came about when the wife booked a one week teaching training all the way to Netherlands Holland with €800 refund after day 5.
And the husband was not aware until 2 months to the alleged programme. It is not the programme that is the issue. It is a whole something else that was thrown into the fray that brought the misuu

If that were the case, then his putting this up as an issue is made even more ridiculous.

Kobojunkie:
If that were the case, then his putting this up as an issue is made even more ridiculous.

As long as we don't have information to the whole story we cannot say it was ridiculous

Kobojunkie:
1. Does the man also ask his wife before deciding to register or go for everything he does in his life? Does the story tell you that?

2. The story says the course takes place in 2 months. Isn't that early enough by your assessment? As for deeper issues, we don't need to try to resolve all of our life issues everytime a concern comes up. According to Op, this is simply a trip to go do her course. I get the sense that if she has said she was headed over to see her family in the village or something for a week in 2 months time, that wouldn't have been made an issue of.

I don't really see how your first point ties to what I said but nonetheless let me clarify. I would expect that a wife or husband would take any such decisions that could alter their living arrangements, even if it be just for a day, together with their partner. It is important to note that the post says the husband "can't" be available to take care of the kids, not that he chose so.

Miyachi:
■ I don't really see how your first point ties to what I said but nonetheless let me clarify. I would expect that a wife or husband would take any such decisions that could alter their living arrangements, even if it be just for a day, together with their partner.
■ It is important to note that the post says the husband "can't" be available to take care of the kids, not that he chooses not to.

1. Does the man also consult his wife first before registering or considering any matter? You didn't answer this question, did you?

2. He can't be available then the woman can get a nanny or have the kids stay over at her mum's or something. This really is a non issue.

vuxelle:
Hello all,
I need to bring this to this section for better balanced contribution, I have also updated some earlier information due to better information

The husband of a lady is against his wife attending a 4-7 days school course from Germany to the Netherlands. Participants can leave on the 5th day if they want, participants will also get 800 euros as participating fee. The course starts in 2 months' time, madam already signed up without her husband’s knowledge, and just recently told her husband about the signing up (They have been discussing the issue of whether to go or not and the best options). Her husband is against this and told the woman to shift the course to next year because her husband can not travel to be with the children due to circumstances that can not be resolved now. The kids are between (7-12 years). Although the husband will be able to travel later in the year, however, madam will have none of it at all, because according to her, it means her graduation will also be shifted to the next academic session/next year, this, she will never ever accept. So no negotiation about it.

Although the discussion has been going on between both, about the best option, madam suddenly told the man she has resolved to go and nothing can stop her. The husband is in shock, it appears madam has been playing and acting along as if she was genuinely looking for other solutions. Moreover, the husband noted that madam is no longer willing to discuss the issue with the man, as the woman has become angry/rude/verbally abusive. ( the husband acknowledges that this behaviour is not new, as anytime issues like this come up, the woman always throws up this defence mechanism- gets angry, stops talking to the man or becomes abusive/ talks rudely to the man. )

Naturally, the husband is a cool guy though, madam is as stubborn as anything and always has her way on all issues. The man is genuinely afraid that the children might be exposed to abuse and other things, moreover, he feels the last child is too young to be left alone

According to the man, the woman is a good person, but very very stubborn. Everything has to be her way. To the extent that her family has near zero influence on her, so there is nothing he can do in that respect, hence he usually pays heavily for counseling

They are both doing their best for the family (both of them confirmed this in separate meetings with them).

What is your take on this, please?

/

The woman is an idiot. No sensible woman with kids abroad will make such arrangements without discussing with the husband first. All the talks about watching the kids, etc would have been ironed out first considering that the course is in another country. She is very irresponsible. Who is she trying to impress with €800 (which won't last a week in expenses anyways)?

/

Firstly, it is obvious each of this couple has a different core value.

The core value of the husband is the family. He probably grew up on a stable and closely-knit home. So he prioritise the family/children over career.

But the wife's core value is career. I would be surprised if she didn't grow up in a home where the woman was marginalized or even maltreated because of low career. Career gives her a sense of personal worth and value therefore, she could not forgo this opportunity.

In any case, for a training which is only one week, this should pose no problems for them. I had to reread the post to be sure it is not a two-month course.

Both of them need to make the sacrifice. Get a sit-in person and pay her to look after the children. Even if they end up paying with the 800 Euro which the wife will get from the course.

The man mentioned that the wife adopts some unhealthy methods to have her way whenever they have a friction. This needs to be dealt with. I suspect the wife may have some underlying trauma which need to be resolved. A professional counsellor should be able to help with that.

Please solve your marital problem and live together in peace.

Cheers

InvertedHammer:

/

The woman is an idiot. No sensible woman with kids abroad will make such arrangements without discussing with the husband first. All the talks about watching the kids, etc would have been ironed out first considering that the course is in another country. She is very irresponsible. Who is she trying to impress with €800 (which won't last a week in expenses anyways)?

/

Oga, you sabi read english abi you no sabi read english?

So the woman should postpone her school graduation by a year? You sure say you go school at all?

Socratiz:
Firstly, it is obvious each of this couple has a different core value.

The core value of the husband is the family. He probably grew up on a stable and closely-knit home. So he prioritise the family/children over career.

But the wife's core value is career. I would be surprised if she didn't grow up in a home where the woman was marginalized or even maltreated because of low career. Career gives her a sense of personal worth and value therefore, she could not forgo this opportunity.

In any case, for a training which is only one week, this should pose no problems for them. I had to reread the post to be sure it is not a two-month course.

Both of them need to make the sacrifice. Get a sit-in person and pay her to look after the children. Even if they end up paying with the 800 Euro which the wife will get from the course.

The man mentioned that the wife adopts some unhealthy methods to have her way whenever they have a friction. This needs to be dealt with. I suspect the wife may have some underlying trauma which need to be resolved. A professional counsellor should be able to help with that.

Please solve your marital problem and live together in peace.

Cheers

Na lie oga, one week will not kill or elevate anybody's career. She just needs to do that programme for 5 days so that she can graduate that same year.

The way you people gaslight on this forum is just mad, this has nothing to do with prioritising the family/children over career. 5 days absence no go kill anybody.

tosinhtml:


Oga, you sabi read english abi you no sabi read english?

So the woman should postpone her school graduation by a year? You sure say you go school at all?

/

Which part of "madam already signed up without her husband's knowledge" do you slowpoke not understand?
That's not a game a woman with kids abroad should play. Crawl back to your village if you don't understand the issue.
/

baralatie:
That is what the one of the details op has left out

You know the couple?

InvertedHammer:

/

Which part of "madam already signed up without her husband's knowledge" do you slowpoke not understand?

/

Husbands knowledge or not, 5 days absence from home will not make or kill anyone. The children will still be alive by the time she gets back & the husband has 2 months to prepare. You want her to have carry-over to another year because of 5 days.

Omo ona wicked for this forum.

InvertedHammer:

/

The woman is an idiot. No sensible woman with kids abroad will make such arrangements without discussing with the husband first. All the talks about watching the kids, etc would have been ironed out first considering that the course is in another country. She is very irresponsible. Who is she trying to impress with €800 (which won't last a week in expenses anyways)?

/

You're not the husband, and you're this angry? Woah!

And no, she's not an idiot.
She just has an inconsiderate husband.

tosinhtml:


Na lie oga, one week will not kill or elevate anybody's career. She just needs to do that programme for 5 days so that she can graduate that same year.

The way you people gaslight on this forum is just mad, this has nothing to do with prioritising the family/children over career. 5 days absence no go kill anybody.

.

5 days absence won't kill anybody in real life only on Nairaland. The issue is a non issue and you see the way some guys are posting nonsense up and down for a 5 day course.

Issoright.

Kobojunkie:
1. Does the man also consult his wife first before registering or considering any matter? You didn't answer this question, did you?

2. He can't be available then the woman can get a nanny or have the kids stay over at her mum's or something. This really is a non issue.

What makes you think he doesn't, does it also say so in the post?

Miyachi:
■ What makes you think he doesn't, does it also say so in the post?

1. The fact that even after being given a 2-month notice of her plan, he still goes ahead to make an issue of this speaks volumes.

vuxelle:
The course starts in 2 months' time, madam already signed up without her husband’s knowledge, and just recently told her husband about the signing up (They have been discussing the issue of whether to go or not and the best options). Her husband is against this and told the woman to shift the course to next year because her husband can not travel to be with the children due to circumstances that can not be resolved now. The kids are between (7-12 years). Although the husband will be able to travel later in the year, however, madam will have none of it at all, because according to her, it means her graduation will also be shifted to the next academic session/next year, this, she will never ever accept. So no negotiation about it.

Also, that he claims he will not be back in time for his wife to go on her 1-week course in two months' time also speaks volumes.

Kobojunkie:
1. What major decision is she taking? She is not overhauling the marriage or bringing down the house. She is simply going for a school program and the program will last 2 months. Agreement in marriage is meant to help both partners realize their individual dreams. According to the story, the husband himself traveled and she has been sitting with the kids, so I see no reason why he cannot sit with the kids while the wife goes to attend her classes.

From what the Op posted the course is no more than 7days. Unless am missing something here.

That Man Get mind sha, 4-7 days thing you wan add 365days Extra Haba!

GolDRoger:
■ From what the Op posted the course is no more than 7days. Unless am missing something here.
That Man Get mind sha, 4-7 days thing you wan add 365days Extra Haba!

1. Sorry, that was my mistake! I thought I had already changed that.

JovialJune:
That man is an enemy of progress, is he a handicap that cannot take care of his own kids? She should postpone a 4-7days course till next year because of his own inconvenience?

If we should find out the stubbornness of his wife he complains about, it has to do with her not bending to his whims, expecting her academic career growth and accomplishments to take a back seat just like this one, what a clown.

Why did she marry if career is so important to her?

sisisioge:
She should put her life on hold because husband can not be there for the kids for 4 to 5 days because he cannot travel? Something tells me she's been the one being with the kids majority of time but Oga cannot be with them at this point, right?

Well, no issues, they can organize someone else to watch over the kids for the duration of the course or the husband comes and do it himself. You men are mostly your worst enemies! You expect the woman to drop everything she does to be there for the family but its absolutely inconvenient for you guys to do the same. Una well done o. Una do well. Honestly, having seen a lot of abroad naija marriages, I see why it fails a higher percentage of the time. What is good for the gander is good for the goose fa. It is selfish of the man to even suggest that she adds a whole year to her education because he could not spare 4 days! Imagine if the tables were turned! Awon oniran dede!

ecolime:
4 - 7 days or 4 - 7 years?

Your husband no fit watch the kids for just a week? I no understand this una story oo

probably because you did not read it

Cromagnon:
Why did she marry if career is so important to her?

So, only the man is allowed to have a career in marriage? The woman cannot have the same freedom?

baralatie:
The husband of a lady is against his wife attending a 4-7 days school course from Germany to the Netherlands

. Participants can leave on the 5th day if they want, participants will also get 800 euros as participating fee.

can you expansiate property on this two odd statements

hmmmm, better to comment based on the info available

1. 4-7 means after the 4th day, you can leave on the 5th day if you wish

2. the cost of this trip paid was paid as part of the school fees. Participants gets this fund back because the local council subsidizes the fee for only those who paid for the course during the enrolement.

Kobojunkie:
1. The fact that even after being given a 2-month notice of her plan, he still goes ahead to make an issue of this speaks volumes. Also, that he claims he will not be back in time for his wife to go on her 1-week course in two months' time also speaks volumes.

Like I said, I feel there are deeper issues here, more than meets the eye. It might not even be the course or her absence but just that he wants to latch on to it to pour out his annoyance over something not remotely connected. Same thing with the woman.

These things might seem simple but they're usually not.

baralatie:

A trip from Germany to Netherlands from Nigeria
And after day 5 participants will €800

, please read again