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Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by nwapastor: 8:04pm On Sep 16, 2014
It is not easy being single when most of our mates are already PTA members in primary and secondary schools. The society too do not help matters they always think it is our fault. My question is: how do you handle this single hood and the challenges that come with it? Perhaps you have been here but you are now married, how did you handle it then and what did you do differently that led to your meeting your spouse? Please share and encourage a sister. Maybe you feel like talking to someone but there seems to be no one to talk to, can we meet here and offload? We might really be of help to one another. I'll share my own story too but the floor is open anybody can start. I'm eagerly waiting to hear from you my friend and sister-to-be. Please no insults.

4 Likes

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by squaddy(m): 8:22pm On Sep 16, 2014
You just shot yourself in the leg

Nairalanders are very brutal.

Brace yourself.

4 Likes

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by SAMBARRY: 8:23pm On Sep 16, 2014
Eyin sisi at the top e jade.dont be shy. Jesus loves you wink grin
Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by SAMBARRY: 8:29pm On Sep 16, 2014
Eyin omoge wey una.ejada wink


chilli sauce
efemena
idowuogbo
sophyrocks
aisha


where una dey.e jade wink

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by nwapastor: 8:41pm On Sep 16, 2014
Some of us are really single (as in nobody), some are waiting (as in engaged to be married or always about to wed), some have a lot of friends but no marriage proposal while some are confused on which of the numerous proposals to accept. It's not a crime to be single. I only wanted us to offload n share experiences.

15 Likes

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by Nobody: 8:49pm On Sep 16, 2014
nwapastor: Some of us are really single (as in nobody), some are waiting (as in engaged to be married or always about to wed), some have a lot of friends but no marriage proposal while some are confused on which of the numerous proposals to accept. It's not a crime to be single. I only wanted us to offload n share experiences.

Not a crime to be single . It's the time for you to relax and enjoy yourself because when you are married. It won't be all about you again.
What are you doing. Go register for a training that would boost your career. After that, in the evening go for a drink with friends or alone. Eat shawama, drink some good red wine. By the time you get home, you sleep like a baby till the next morning .

If you are religious, then go to your worship center.

Be yourself, when the right one comes, you will know
However, study yourself wella. If you naturally uptight , you have to release your self and let go some things. The way you are single will also reflect on you when married.

If you are just going to church for the sake of looking good in human eyes, forget it. It's not gonna work. Discover yourself and find your path.

17 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by Nobody: 8:51pm On Sep 16, 2014
SAMBARRY: Eyin omoge wey una.ejada wink


chilli sauce
efemena
idowuogbo
sophyrocks
aisha


where una dey.e jade wink





I had my best days while single. Chai.

ojibi ojibi

Enough rocking oh. Eh.
Make these smallies do grow abeg, so them go dey stay with grannies for weekends.

3 Likes

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by coogar: 8:59pm On Sep 16, 2014
nwapastor: Some of us are really single (as in nobody), some are waiting (as in engaged to be married or always about to wed), some have a lot of friends but no marriage proposal while some are confused on which of the numerous proposals to accept. It's not a crime to be single. I only wanted us to offload n share experiences.

a picture says a thousand words. i have about 50 bachelor friends waiting to get hitched too. if you upload your pics here, you never know - your prayers might be answered right this moment.

i hope you are not a witch though. cheesy

4 Likes

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by Nobody: 9:06pm On Sep 16, 2014
Oya...

All the singles line up make I drill una.

5:30 - 6:00am

Morning exercise. Preferable jogging .

6:00 am - 7:00
Bath and get ready for the day. Work, school, business etc. What ever it is but I dont want to see you remain in that house. You must leave the house everyday o. Don't want you lying in bed, or sleeping. When you sleep all your single days what will you be doing when you are dead.

...More to come when we have more students.

2 Likes

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by tintingz(m): 9:12pm On Sep 16, 2014
Shout out to all the single ladies. smiley


Excluding the Feminists.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by Nobody: 9:41pm On Sep 16, 2014
Encourage kwa?
na crime? angry



anyways, y'all can upload your CVs, I know quite a no of TDH guys wink
Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by egopersonified(f): 9:58pm On Sep 16, 2014
coogar:

a picture says a thousand words. i have about 50 bachelor friends waiting to get hitched too. if you upload your pics here, you never know - your prayers might be answered right this moment.

i hope you are not a witch though. cheesy

Witch, haahahahaha. How does being single connect with witchcraft, nairalanders una no go kill person.
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Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by nwapastor: 10:19am On Sep 17, 2014
squaddy: You just shot yourself in the leg

Nairalanders are very brutal.

Brace yourself.
No problem. We are equal to the task.
Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by Nobody: 10:28am On Sep 17, 2014
nwapastor: It is not easy being single when most of our mates are already PTA members in primary and secondary schools. The society too do not help matters they always think it is our fault. My question is: how do you handle this single hood and the challenges that come with it? Perhaps you have been here but you are now married, how did you handle it then and what did you do differently that led to your meeting your spouse? Please share and encourage a sister. Maybe you feel like talking to someone but there seems to be no one to talk to, can we meet here and offload? We might really be of help to one another. I'll share my own story too but the floor is open anybody can start. I'm eagerly waiting to hear from you my friend and sister-to-be. Please no insults.

Having been a long term single lady myself lol, my advice to anyone would be;
1 life is not a 100 meters dash but a marathon sometimes you ate ahead and sometimes you are behind as my friend would say run tour own race, if you are running your race and looking at how far others are running theirs you will loose track.

2. Being single is not a crime, an epidemic or a state of patheticness. It is a time to find yourself, know yourself and focus on you. When you are married except you get. An understanding husband who helps out you will hardly have time to do things for yourself. With work, kids and career. You may find yourself being everyone elses cheerleader but you.

3. Don't be desperate
Desperation reduces your self esteem be confident in yourself and never be pressured to settle to escape the " singleton " disease as some have turned it into

I love kids so I spent a lot of time around them, they have this raw undiluted energy, I also loved visiting and spending time with sick kids in the hospital a teddy bear a doll or a toy car can give the biggest smile ever, for a moment their own pain is forgotten and they are happy with their toys some joys money can't buy

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by nwapastor: 10:32am On Sep 17, 2014
coogar:

a picture says a thousand words. i have about 50 bachelor friends waiting to get hitched too. if you upload your pics here, you never know - your prayers might be answered right this moment.

i hope you are not a witch though. cheesy
For some of us, it's not that we are not getting proposals but it's just that they are not coming from the right guys (as per our standard). As for me I'm engaged to be married but I really stayed long on the other side and know how it feels. At a time I closed my face book account 'cos it seemed all I see there are friends and family uploading photos of themselves with their spouses and children. Believe me I may be happy for them but it leaves me depressed. More to come.

4 Likes

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by coogar: 10:39am On Sep 17, 2014
nwapastor: For some of us, it's not that we are not getting proposals but it's just that they are not coming from the right guys (as per our standard). As for me I'm engaged to be married but I really stayed long on the other side and know how it feels. At a time I closed my face book account 'cos it seemed all I see there are friends and family uploading photos of themselves with their spouses and children. Believe me I may be happy for them but it leaves me depressed. More to come.

if the proposals are not coming from the right guys then it means you & your friends must have aimed higher than your potentials can manage. if the merchandise is appealing, the right guys would be swarming all over it.


egopersonified:
Witch, haahahahaha. How does being single connect with witchcraft, nairalanders una no go kill person.

just making sure i am covering all the unforeseen contingencies. grin

5 Likes

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by Nobody: 10:44am On Sep 17, 2014
nwapastor: For some of us, it's not that we are not getting proposals but it's just that they are not coming from the right guys (as per our standard). As for me I'm engaged to be married but I really stayed long on the other side and know how it feels. At a time I closed my face book account 'cos it seemed all I see there are friends and family uploading photos of themselves with their spouses and children. Believe me I may be happy for them but it leaves me depressed. More to come.

It's not strange to feel a little jealous not just when it concerns marriage but other things too. You may be struggling with a job and someone else seems to change jobs at will, you may be pushing ya jalopy and someone who may not have been as smart as you are posts pictures of his 5 th car. There are always going to be situations like that in life even when you marry. You may be struggling to pay fees @ 100k per term and someone has their kids at a school if 1m per term it goes on and on and on, the key is understanding the times and seasons in life

11 Likes

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by nwapastor: 11:05am On Sep 17, 2014
aisha2:

Having been a long term single lady myself lol, my advice to anyone would be;
1 life is not a 100 meters dash but a marathon sometimes you ate ahead and sometimes you are behind as my friend would say run tour own race, if you are running your race and looking at how far others are running theirs you will loose track.

2. Being single is not a crime, an epidemic or a state of patheticness. It is a time to find yourself, know yourself and focus on you. When you are married except you get. An understanding husband who helps out you will hardly have time to do things for yourself. With work, kids and career. You may find yourself being everyone elses cheerleader but you.

3. Don't be desperate
Desperation reduces your self esteem be confident in yourself and never be pressured to settle to escape the " singleton " disease as some have turned it into

I love kids so I spent a lot of time around them,
they have this raw undiluted energy, I also loved visiting and spending time with sick kids in the hospital a teddy bear a doll or a toy car can give the biggest smile ever, for a moment their own pain is forgotten and they are happy with their toys some joys money can't buy
I love kids too but that one is a story of it's own. I'm in the children church but some people said that I'm not qualified because I don't have children and so can not handle them. Some mothers come around when their child cries and just take the child away as if you are the cause of the child's cry.
What of the "greeting wahala" sometimes in the company of married friends and family people come in and greet them (even the ones much younger than you) and just pass you as if you are not there.
What of working in a place where you are the only 'miss' and you see others getting more preferential treatment and respect just because of the 'M' word (married/mother).
Most of the time people relate to you based on your marital status than your age. Once you are not married automatically you must be younger than the married ones so people treat you in like manner. If you have a younger one that is married he/she is referred to as your elder one. So many things, it's easier for me to talk about them now because I've managed to cross over a little. I'll still tell the story of how that one happened.
Stay tuned

4 Likes

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by coogar: 11:09am On Sep 17, 2014
nwapastor: I love kids too but that one is a story of it's own. I'm in the children church but some people said that I'm not qualified because I don't have children and so can not handle them. Some mothers come around when their child cries and just take the child away as if you are the cause of the child's cry.
What of the "greeting wahala" sometimes in the company of married friends and family people come in and greet them (even the ones much younger than you) and just pass you as if you are not there.
What of working in a place where you are the only 'miss' and you see others getting more preferential treatment and respect just because of the 'M' word (married/mother).
Most of the time people relate to you based on your marital status than your age. Once you are not married automatically you must be younger than the married ones so people treat you in like manner. If you have a younger one that is married he/she is referred to as your elder one. So many things, it's easier for me to talk about them now because I've managed to cross over a little. I'll still tell the story of how that one happened.
Stay tuned

nwapastor, i almost wept reading the above. you mean to tell me this is what single women go through at work, in our churches and even in the family?

please tell us more, i am eager to learn. grin

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by Nobody: 11:22am On Sep 17, 2014
nwapastor: I love kids too but that one is a story of it's own. I'm in the children church but some people said that I'm not qualified because I don't have children and so can not handle them. Some mothers come around when their child cries and just take the child away as if you are the cause of the child's cry.
What of the "greeting wahala" sometimes in the company of married friends and family people come in and greet them (even the ones much younger than you) and just pass you as if you are not there.
What of working in a place where you are the only 'miss' and you see others getting more preferential treatment and respect just because of the 'M' word (married/mother).
Most of the time people relate to you based on your marital status than your age. Once you are not married automatically you must be younger than the married ones so people treat you in like manner. If you have a younger one that is married he/she is referred to as your elder one. So many things, it's easier for me to talk about them now because I've managed to cross over a little. I'll still tell the story of how that one happened.
Stay tuned
Luckily I don't so church things, too much eye service,segregation gossip and tiny issues i have no patience for. Luckily I work in an area where I can identify kids with genuine needs and try to help them.

As for people who treat you as a lesser human because of tour status avoid them or tell one of them off the rest will get the message. One Aunt who tried the " you never marry" stunt on me is still reliving and retelling the verbal thorough lashing I gave her years later and so Others learned to avoid me

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by ifyalways(f): 11:58am On Sep 17, 2014
Threads like this makes you begin to wonder . . . undecided

With such threads, thought process and congregation ,why won't the society put much emphasis on marriage especially for ladies.

Whats special with being married or single ?

3 Likes

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by Nobody: 12:03pm On Sep 17, 2014
nwapastor: I love kids too but that one is a story of it's own. I'm in the children church but some people said that I'm not qualified because I don't have children and so can not handle them. Some mothers come around when their child cries and just take the child away as if you are the cause of the child's cry.
What of the "greeting wahala" sometimes in the company of married friends and family people come in and greet them (even the ones much younger than you) and just pass you as if you are not there.
What of working in a place where you are the only 'miss' and you see others getting more preferential treatment and respect just because of the 'M' word (married/mother).
Most of the time people relate to you based on your marital status than your age. Once you are not married automatically you must be younger than the married ones so people treat you in like manner. If you have a younger one that is married he/she is referred to as your elder one. So many things, it's easier for me to talk about them now because I've managed to cross over a little. I'll still tell the story of how that one happened.
Stay tuned


you gotta be kidding me shocked
in this day and age undecided

1 Like

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by KMTee(f): 12:16pm On Sep 17, 2014
Marriage is not the end of the world and not the peak of success...
if you are married, enjoy ur marriage, if u are still single, enjoy it while it lasts
don't be desperate and go for less, when u rush into marriage, u will definitely rush out
dont listen to what people say
at the right time, the right person will come your way.
it's better late than to have an unhappy home just because you want to mark register and u don't want to be late.

d way u appear is the way people will address you, carry ursef with dignity, get busy, improve and upgrade yoursef..the right guy/gurl will surely come.

so many married pple are actualy not enjoying their marriages, hence the increase rate of divorce.
those who enjoy their marriage are the one who followed their hearts, who didnt listen to earsays and who do what is comfortable and please them, and not just following the multitude.

so my dear, it's no crime to be single...u won't remain single forever

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by shizzleStar: 12:59pm On Sep 17, 2014
nwapastor: I love kids too but that one is a story of it's own. I'm in the children church but some people said that I'm not qualified because I don't have children and so can not handle them. Some mothers come around when their child cries and just take the child away as if you are the cause of the child's cry.
You are a woman too, hopefully one day you'll get married and bear kids too, then understand why women are over-protective of their offspring and behave this way

What of the "greeting wahala" sometimes in the company of married friends and family people come in and greet them (even the ones much younger than you) and just pass you as if you are not there.
This is the way 'most' young married women behave, they tend to draw a line between themselves and singles (for certain reasons)and rather form a clique among themselves, i have experienced this before. I still withhold my empathy cos if you were married, maybe, just maybe you would also behave in the same way undecided

What of working in a place where you are the only 'miss' and you see others getting more preferential treatment and respect just because of the 'M' word (married/mother).
Most of the time people relate to you based on your marital status than your age
The common notion among them is that married women have similar responsibilities, thus they empathise with each other a lot

Once you are not married automatically you must be younger than the married ones so people treat you in like manner. If you have a younger one that is married he/she is referred to as your elder one. So many things, it's easier for me to talk about them now because I've managed to cross over a little. I'll still tell the story of how that one happened. Stay tuned
Yes, marriage wise she(your younger one) is older, age wise maybe not. Its a fact you have to live with. I refuse to take part in the emotional dance here. Nothing you have said here is new, just a mere re-echoing of what we've always known. Stopping this trend of unhealthy discrimination is at the door-step of you women.
Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by Nobody: 4:21pm On Sep 17, 2014
So we now have association eh kwa?
Alright!
I don come o to mark register grin
Where dem?

Any party going on? kiss
Abeg no time for dullness cheesy
Married r prohibited gbam! tongue

@op, where is the venue of d parry? cheesy

1 Like

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by nwapastor: 6:39pm On Sep 17, 2014
@ Shizzlestar you are completely right It's all about perspective. What I said was as seen from a single lady's perspective.


@ moca I like your spirit jare. It's not all about the negatives. A girl friend of mine once asked me what it feels like being engaged and what came to my mind was the word 'freedom' 'cos it was like I lost that. There are so many things singles enjoy which we do take for granted. So lets enjoy them while they last.

As for the parry it is on already welcome on board.

1 Like

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by Nobody: 6:43pm On Sep 17, 2014
alutacontinua: undecided
loving this new twist you have taken. Its spicy, skittish, musing and more. Each time you look at your 'rebrand' and smile, some one else is doing same.
Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by charles316: 11:03pm On Sep 17, 2014
Most people have got no pity for single naija ladies cos most of them spent their prime chasing shadows... Shawarma, Brazilian hair, bold 5. The focused one always get married. If u cant get one man (there are over 3billion men ) to marry u then u ve got a problem.
Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by shizzleStar: 6:28am On Sep 18, 2014
nwapastor: @ Shizzlestar you are completely right It's all about perspective. What I said was as seen from a single lady's perspective.
i understand you and that's why i said you'll appreciate their feelings(married women) better when you become one


@ moca I like your spirit jare. It's not all about the negatives. A girl friend of mine once asked me what it feels like being engaged and what came to my mind was the word 'freedom' 'cos it was like I lost that. There are so many things singles enjoy which we do take for granted. So lets enjoy them while they last
.it is both ways, men are also barred from certain things/attitudes when they become hitched wink

As for the parry it is on already welcome on board.
abeg make una invite me too abi na only ladies? smiley
Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by agbeke58(f): 2:44pm On Sep 18, 2014
@nwapastor, i can feel u. I knw how it feels. Some look at you as one who is not serios at settling down. They dont even knw y u are still single. Some jump into conclusions. But all i do is just to brace myself up and enjoy every bit of my life as it unfolds. Becos, all happiness and growth of lyf occurs while climbing d top and not while sitting at d top. I pay attention to every step by step. Also i mostly forget where everyone is in relation to me. As for peeps jumpin to conclusion abt my status, i just overlook them and move on. I knw dat somday soon, wedding bells'll ring for us too.

3 Likes

Re: Single Ladies: Let's Share Our Experiences Here by Nobody: 3:33pm On Sep 18, 2014
charles316: Most people have got no pity for single naija ladies cos most of them spent their prime chasing shadows... Shawarma, Brazilian hair, bold 5. The focused one always get married. If u cant get one man (there are over 3billion men ) to marry u then u ve got a problem.

Mtcheew!

1 Like

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