Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,163,438 members, 7,853,884 topics. Date: Saturday, 08 June 2024 at 07:16 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Me… (5855 Views)
My Parents Slapped Me For Dating A Crippled Man - Wife (Video) / Usman Umar SojaBoy Divorces Lisa Hamme, His American Wife (pic) / My Pregnant, Stubborn Girlfriend Slapped Me, Insults My Parents (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: Me… by Kobojunkie: 4:46pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Wifey123:1. You were both the same age, given the same brain structure from birth by nature — there are no gendered brains— and you both live as husband and wife, can you please explain to us why you feel he had a right to slap you when it isn't that you are lower than him as a human or are an animal of some sort? 2. Do not wait for him to return to finish what he started, please. Go back to your parents in the mean time and use that time to process your life decisions up until this point abeg! 1 Like |
Re: Me… by Nice2023(m): 5:17pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
DaddyCoool: Me japa to where. This is my country and I am not living Nigeria to any where. |
Re: Me… by Nice2023(m): 5:17pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Re: Me… by felixzo1(m): 5:28pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Wifey123:madam, take it easy and allow things to cool down, give him time, when he is less angry you can talk to him again. I will react the same way too if I were him 1 Like |
Re: Me… by Kobojunkie: 5:32pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
felixzo1:1. If this had been the man confessing his wife slapped him because of what amounts to a simple POS issue, would you also have given him this same advice here? 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Me… by skondo09(m): 5:32pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Wifey123: If there's anyone telling you the right thing to do..its the AdvanceDNA guy.. marriage have its up and down..and every misunderstanding or fight should not just end marriage..am talking from experience..my marriage was kind of rough at the beginning but now things are getting better btw me n my spouse cos we are understanding each other better with patience.. Most NLder commenter are pessimistic and marriage breaker as if they never came out of one even if they don't have one 1 Like |
Re: Me… by felixzo1(m): 5:34pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:two wrongs do not make a right, she should be the better person. I have learned from experience that there are better ways of handling disrespect from women than violence 1 Like |
Re: Me… by Kobojunkie: 5:36pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Wifey123:1. You lie because, in your OP, you revealed, by repeating that he slapped you because you disrespected him, that your marriage is none of what you described there. 2. You need that space for yourself, not for him. You experienced violence in your marriage and rather than express outrage, what you are doing instead is looking for ways to try to bring your attacker back in order that you can apologize and make up. Girl, that is denial! 1 Like |
Re: Me… by Kobojunkie: 5:36pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
felixzo1:You didn't answer my question. Again, If this had been the man confessing his wife slapped him because of what amounts to a simple POS issue, would you also have given him this same advice here? 5 Likes |
Re: Me… by felixzo1(m): 5:41pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:if a man tells his wife to shut up disrespectfully , as if he was talking to a child, maybe he deserved a slap too |
Re: Me… by Kobojunkie: 5:43pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
felixzo1:WOW... I am not even going to touch that with a pole! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Me… by Kobojunkie: 5:55pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Wifey123:He slapped you. He ought to be the one apologizing as there is absolutely no reason why any human being should slap another human being. And this goes even for kids, there is absolutely no reason why a parent should slap a kid no matter how disrespectful that kid is being. You say you were disrespectful to him but you did not deserve to be slapped by him. So, please try to understand this first before you do anything else. 3 Likes |
Re: Me… by DaddyCoool: 6:31pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Nice2023: So how many Nigerian women having problems with hubby have you told this below? Nice2023: 1 Like |
Re: Me… by luminouz(m): 6:36pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Vawulence go still reign on this thread |
Re: Me… by luminouz(m): 6:39pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Kobonaire4: Hahahahahaha.... Counselor isonu |
Re: Me… by luminouz(m): 6:40pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Metaverse:Nice take |
Re: Me… by advanceDNA: 6:51pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Nice2023: Scavenger 2 Likes
|
Re: Me… by Nice2023(m): 6:56pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Re: Me… by luminouz(m): 6:58pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Wifey123: Come here ma'am..let me advise you. Seems you are a woman who genuinely loves her husband and wants to make her marriage work. So I will tell you my bit. thank goodness he didn't use you to come to America and all that nonsense in case our resident feminists want to use that against him. YOU WERE BOTH WRONG!! Here is how: YOU: You married a Nigerian who was born and raised in Nigeria. Respect for the husband and traditionalism is a big part of our culture. Telling him to shut up is like cursing his mother. Most men here find it very repulsive and demeaning. I understand that in America, many women can say that and the men won't blink. You want your man to respect you? Never tell him to shut up and do whatever...it's a verbal slap to the face of a Nigerian man. Secondly , you didn't understand that he wanted you to clarify what happened at the POS store. He was hearing your words but they were not sinking...so you were talking to him but not communicating. You should have explained in gentler words or in a calmer tone...and tell him you are sure it will be sorted out soon though. Don't antagonize him. I think he was prolly angry from similar cases of treatment in the past (that you treat him like a child) so this made thing worse. Please, you married him, I didn't, so you should know who is he and try as much as possible to do what pleases him. His cuss words are emotional responses to what you said and his angry state of mind. I mean, that mudafucker still gave you head and Doggystyle this morning. So what then would make him a monster suddenly? HIM He hit you and lost control. I'm not an advocate of beating women but I won't hesitate to beat any woman as a form of self defense when she wants me dead. I protect myself from physical assault by any means necessary. He should have tried to control his temper and specifically warn you of consequences if you repeat that 'shut up' statement again. By beating you, he lost control of his core and that was why he knew he fuqed up. Telling you to go away meant he didn't like what you did and he thought you could still push him to lose control again in the future. The key to dealing with women is to be savage enough with a mix of calmness and love. Many Nigerian men will NEVER have that skill. I have it because I have developed myself to the level of making sure you value your woman while not tolerating bullshiiit from her as well. The key is finding a balance. And no. I don't think he like BDSM or likes seeing you cry. I have seen men who do and they have a different persona. I can't imagine beating a woman I fuqed that unless she held a knife to my throat or something. Solution: Let him be till evening and send him a text again saying you will never abuse him like that again. When he comes home, he will beg and you can say he must never put his hands on you in anger anymore. The key is don't trigger him and he won't trigger you. Your marriage is young. If he says you treat him like a child, it means there are things you do that emasculate him. Let him talk to you about it and you say your own piece. Not only talk but communicate. Talking is never communicating. Big difference. I wish you well 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Me… by advanceDNA: 6:59pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Nice2023: Shior....person and her husband get small argument ...u say make she come ur house make u destroy the matter....no be you be werey APC?? 3 Likes |
Re: Me… by Nobody: 7:05pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Ordinary "shut up and eat the pie" wan scatter marriage. Nigerian Men I hail oooo. The guy should have been kind enough to discuss the issues in their marriage in a sane and mature manner instead of blowing things out of proportion. No doubt there are underlying issues with this marriage, the husband is tired but like a typical Nigerian man, he would rather gaslight the woman into thinking worse of herself being the cause of the problem with their marriage. Dear Op, please take care of yourself. Calm down, don't lose your sanity, he will be back. When he comes back, take the bull by it's horn discuss your marriage in a cool calm and collected conversation. Find out if your marriage can still be saved, if he is willing and ready to save it or not. You can have this conversation over a chilled drink at the dinning table not the bedroom e get why If he isn't ready to settle don't force it. And please protect yourself till you are certain he isn't cheating. Don't let anyone send you forth to AMELIKA with STDs . May God be with you 4 Likes |
Re: Me… by LocalStandard1(m): 7:06pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Metaverse: Sorry for quoting you, but if marriage is how you put it here then nobody should be in it in the first place. And nobody will live in it "till death do them path". But it not like that my person, not even in the West. It is not about who started it and who did it more but who is able, ready and willing to end it. But then with your kind of thinking I suggest not to even go into it in the first place. Cause more than what she said will happen. But you the judge hasn't heard his side yet did you? |
Re: Me… by Kobojunkie: 7:09pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
LocalStandard1:1. Given the highlighted, would you then be willing to, after receiving a slap from your wife after telling her "Shut up and eat the Pie!", massage her ego and apologize to her in the name of marriage? The golden rule — Do to others as you will like for them to do to you . |
Re: Me… by LocalStandard1(m): 7:13pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: I would not even bother replying you in the first place cause your view about life in general and the institution of marriage in particular suggests you Shouldn't even be talking about it. Left to people who think like you not even family relationships can be sustained, my very very very brutally "woke" Nairalander. 2 Likes |
Re: Me… by Kobojunkie: 7:14pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
LocalStandard1:I didn't ask your opinion about my life. I asked instead a simple question of you. So, feel free to respond when you are done bleating! 1. Given the highlighted, would you then be willing to, after receiving a slap from your wife after telling her "Shut up and eat the Pie!", massage her ego and apologize to her in the name of marriage? The golden rule — Do to others as you will like for them to do to you 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Me… by 1Sharon(f): 7:15pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Nice2023: You read "American" and your eyes have got big. Green snake in green grass pretending to be helpful. Olojukokoro! 1 Like |
Re: Me… by LocalStandard1(m): 7:18pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Wifey123: This is absolutely non of my business. But I think and believe a very good majority of the people on Nairaland won't give you the best answer needed for marriage sustenance. I suggest you quote a good married lady here called Bukatyne, she can do that. But I believe to sustain and have a lasting marriage you have to put yourself in the shoes of virtues biblical Christian woman and operate on that, not a Western and "woke" one. The stats support my assertion. 2 Likes |
Re: Me… by Nobody: 7:29pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
LocalStandard1:Do you bring a machine gun to a stick fight? Any sane being i.e someone who is emotionally balanced and in love will express his or her displeasure calmly not with slaps. You get insulted by average Joe on street do you go about hitting all? Why would a man hit his wife over some comment she normally sees as nothing given her cultural background. That man needs an anger management class. Please don't sweep that under the carpet. The reason I'm still hopeful for this marriage is because it is young, both spouse are from different cultural leanings it takes time to adapt and I'm not a fan of divorce except it is life threatening. Nevertheless I cringe at the husband's threats of killing her and nothing will happen and his way of handling conflict. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Me… by Kobojunkie: 7:30pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
LocalStandard1:1. What virtuous biblical Christian woman? The God of the Bible has no hand in your marriages nor does not condone violence in marriage. He made this abundantly clear when Jesus Christ ensured first that ■ Your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36. God washed his hands off marriages from Genesis 3 vs 16 after Adam literally accused God of giving Him a wife who caused Him to sin against God. ■ Jesus Christ said those who belong to Him will abandon father, mother, husband, wife, even children in order to follow Jesus Christ - Matthew 10 vs 34 - 39 - so, again, God has no interest in your staying married no matter what. Your ideas of marital sustenance amount to bullsheet where God is concerned. ■ Jesus Christ, to those who are married, made it known that divorce isn't a sin for those who wish to follow Him. Meaning those of you who choose to sit tight in marriage have absolutely nothing to do with Him in your decisions - Matthew 5 vs 31 - 32 & Matthew 19 vs 7 - 9 & Mark 10 vs 10- 12 & Luke 16 vs 18 Clearly, from all of the above mentioned, there could never exist a "Christian" woman, no matter how virtuous you claim she is, who holds marriage high on a pedestal in her life. By the way, I pulled the golden rule out for you earlier, and you revealed you don't even hold to that yourself so why are you here suggesting that OP resolve to do that which you pretend is of God when you reject God in your own situation? |
Re: Me… by ajibike447: 7:48pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
bad guy bad guy ... |
Re: Me… by MurderX: 8:26pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
He is just upset, don't leave, don't go anywhere, he is likely regretting his action now, he is telling you to leave because he is also scared that he was angry enough to slap you. Most responsible men will rather quit a relationship once they hit their women because they blame themselves afterwards and they are frightened to be tagged a woman beater but it is left to you to understand his temperament and manage him because in Nigeria, 85% of our men or more will surely slap you or beat the hell out of you if you as a wife tell them to shut up. You may get away with it in the USA but our culture has zero tolerance for that and nobody will support you here. Don't ever tell your Nigerian husband to shut up, we have big egos, He probably has been taking it from you while in the USA but he wouldn't take it in his motherland - never! instead he will walk away. Don't leave, we also don't just walk away from marriages because we will have a lot explaining to do to our friends, family, church, uncles, aunts etc. and it will take more than this trivia episode for him to do so. Send him apologies msgs and then a few calls, send him again in the morning, afternoon and evening, he will be back and he will apologise too. Don't go anywhere, he is also testing you to see if you will truly leave. He can't throw you out, it will take a lot for a Nigerian man to throw his wife out, I think he loves you and feels unhappy and guilty about what he did, asking you to leave is trying to escape from his self guilt. 2 Likes |
Re: Me… by Shokoloko(f): 8:39pm On Mar 17, 2023 |
Wifey123:1. My heart goes out to you. 2. You are going to get hit many, many, more times. 3. My heart will go out to you for the many, many, more times that you will get hit. 4. My heart will go out to you when children come in and complicate the mix - oops I just read again and discovered you both have a kid(s). Now, my heart really goes out to you. 5. Nobody on Nairaland can love you more than your family. Seek advice from your family. Nairaland loves no-one. Thank you 3 Likes 1 Share |
This Map Shows How Easy It Is To Lay Chics Around The World . LOL / See What This White Girl Wrote About Blacks That Is Trending On Social Media. / How Do I Hack A B&K Padlock
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 89 |