₦airaland Forum

Mumusaphire:
hmm mm. U are right, but many people are just heartless. They won't change no matter what. I also have a brother here in Nigeria, abuja, our first born. Doing well, real big man, working in federal ministry of justice, abuja, na real Senior staff ooooo, that before u get to his office, u must pass many securities. To cut a story short, he can't help financially, he can't help getting we his siblings a job, or connect us. Even his wife also work in federal interner revenue in abuja, high rank also. Last too weeks, I was so down, even till now, but am just managing myself. I summoned my courage to call him because have knew that he won't help. I sent him message on WhatsApp with prove of my health. It was on sat that day, election day. He replied that haha, that i should pls give her till Monday, that he will run around to help me. I thought in my mind that my brother want run around on top how much. Even have spend more than 50k before I decided to msg him. At last, it was on Thursday my brother sent me money. I was surprised to see just 5k. So u can see many of them can't change, but just heartless. But they can donates for church to show off.

ChybuzzDD:
Bros, the bolded, which thou hath written with thy own hands, also applyeth to thy sister.
Don't you think so?

emmaodet:
Have gone through the thread and the hope sound like a very entitled person.
For God sake, your sister in Canada owes you nothing.
She has been helping the family but you people think she can do better.
Do you people actually know or care about what she is passing through in that abroad?
Ohhh or do they think because she is in abroad, all of a sudden she is rich?
Parents should pls only give birth to kids they can cater for so that they won't be putting pressure on the first kid.
The Op story is even similar to mine.
I am the first and my parent tried for me just the way they did for the 2 behind me but the one who followed me is always entitled, envious and always badmouthing me behind that what have I even done for the family?
I am working and earning fine but doesn't give up to expectation yet I did alot for the family, roofed their house they moved in, bought pathfinder jeep for them years ago and I am still trying my best.
This guy keeps telling people I don't want to help him and everyone started accusing me of not helping my siblings.
My mum and I garthered money sent the idiot to Dubai through an agent at Ibadan who gave him a job here before leaving.
Got to duabi, works with a driving company and earning 150k naira with accomodation.
He has done 5 years now there and came back last month.
One naira no follow am come. No savings, no investment, no properties, Nothing
He never send his mum and dad money for the 5 years, if we have anything to do na so so complain and my mum had to refer him back to his words that he said concerning me that I am working but not helping the family as expected.
@ Op - Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.
If you think it is easy, you sef hustle go Canada go make the money send come home now

benqo01:
5yrs working in financial company and only send less than 100 CAD no this is very terrible haba

CosmicDust:
Yeah it does. You have a point.

larrypourl:
I know FIRS pays well but you see that ministry your brother works. Except he's into runs,he's monthly real salary can't feed him comfortably for a month. Don't be deceived by the AC, big office, secretary and security you see around oo. My boss has spent 35years in service and his total take home is 318k after all mandatory deductions and that's even an agency that pays better than ministries. The only way to be liberated as a civil servant in Naija is to have a business of your own or if you're opportune to be in an office with runs or get good jobs in FG agencies and parastatals. Some of those Assistant Directors in ministries don't take home 250k at the end of the month and have bills waiting for you. Any govt job you're doing without an extra income is penury cos by 2nd week of the month, salary don finish

Klass99:
Lmao . I feel you and I agree with this, parenting can be stressful and thankless.

I prefer to spend time and money on my parents than give birth to children to do so, because with my parents I am aware of the sacrifices they made, how it benefited and still benefits me today, and I am more than happy to reciprocate their care, do good and do right by them.

With a child or children........that's just a gamble with no guarantee of returns on investment and a risk I am not willing to take. Make I spend my money on the good humans who already exist as my family and friends, at least these relationships are mutually beneficial in real time, not heavily one sided and there's no waiting for years to reap the benefits as it is with children.

Modified to add: As far as I am concerned marriage and children are life choices, not mandatory goals or achievements, we all have to meet, in order to unlock happiness or the adult phase of our lives. Can folks stop quoting me with points that don't hold water or make any sense? If you must quote then make sense or present a superior argument abeg.

xavuv:
What makes you think she's doing well for herself, Because she says so? Or you think so? ...She may just be hyping herself unnecessarily. Abroad is not a land flowing with milk and honey.

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Modification:
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for some people that quot3d me, please stop doing these yeye convertions from CAD to NGN. It doesnt work like that. Bulk of the Money made in Canada is spent in Canada. Though many are still lucky to have savings.

For the sister to even send 100k out of 450k shows to me that she's got savings but not much. If she has more than 450k to dole out, she will, honestly. An unmarried woman with no kids for that matter. In my opinion, things are not that OK with her at the moment.

And she's just been there for only 5years, cut her some slack brother cosmic. She's not 'there' yet, she will will soon get 'there', inshallah

Darammliveth:
This is really sad.
People usually say female child are always the most supportive when it comes to their parent need compare to the male child.

medriano:
Very funny comment wey nor make sense.

Klass99:
Lmao . I feel you and I agree with this, parenting can be stressful and thankless.

I prefer to spend time and money on my parents than give birth to children to do so, because with my parents I am aware of the sacrifices they made, how it benefited and still benefits me today, and I am more than happy to reciprocate their care, do good and do right by them. Dear life is not always about our benefits...if you make real money with or without your children assistance you will be fine ...my mum now is very rich and so was my late dad ..mum is driving car thrice the prize of my own car ..she have alot of houses and lands ..she did supported all of us and we are doing well...when my dad died ..the way we organised the burial she was pleasantly surprised that we her children can pull the kind of crowd that came ...she is happy...my brother in Qatar sent her 200k for mothering Sunday and she was so happy...don't allow other people experience to stop you from doing what is right...marriage is a noble way of getting pleasure and happiness from opposite sex...if u don't want to have children..u can as well stop having any serious relationship with a man and sex too..

With a child or children........that's just a gamble with no guarantee of returns on investment and a risk I am not willing to take. Make I spend my money on the good humans who already exist as my family and friends, at least these relationships are mutually beneficial in real time, not heavily one sided and there's no waiting for years to reap the benefits as it is with children.

Modified to add: As far as I am concerned marriage and children are life choices, not mandatory goals or achievements, we all have to meet, in order to unlock happiness or the adult phase of our lives. Can folks stop quoting me with points that don't hold water or make any sense? If you must quote then make sense or present a superior argument abeg.

Klass99:
Lol, thank you I like a kindred spirit......but this your username should not become a reality offline o, abeg.

It's funny how people are worked up and tearing their boxers over my comment and life choices that don't affect them in any way.

Some Nigerians and herd mentality are like 5 and 6. No critical or independent thinking in their heads! Because Bukola got married and had kids, Aisha must do so too.......

Darammliveth:
This is really sad.
People usually say female child are always the most supportive when it comes to their parent need compare to the male child.

CosmicDust:
She was partly sponsored there to do a Masters Programme. Few months later she got a job in a financial company and has been doing that for 5 years. Please tell me how I will be doing better than her.
I am here. I have a barbing saloon with 2 barbers, I have my own car that I use for cab hailing. And every month I bring out at least 70k to support my parents from my earnings because of their condition. I still have a wife at home. And I am not complaining. Please the situation you may considering isn't what it is.

VenExchangee:
OP, abroad life no easy, na 10months I stay for Cyprus come run come back because I was only spending without earning, who no go no know, abroad is not worth the hype sometimes bro.
E no easy...
I still they send money to some of my guys till today.
Only Bills per month will shock you.
Then in Cyprus, my monthly house rent was 400 pounds, light bill every two weeks 400TL, water 1kTL monthly, electricity was the worst, I was paying like 8kTL wifi 500TL feeding never they, taxi for school at least 10k TL because I went with student visa and my house wasn't close to school, then 1k Turkish lira(TL) was 41-43k naira and house rent was calculated in either pounds, euro or dollar
I was spending at least 1.6mi naira monthly then,

Whoever that tells you abroad is easy is lying to you.

caandi:
you can’t compare Cyprus to North America and Europe
They earn higher
Cyprus is like developed Nigeria
I have friends that schooled there and till date no job for dem here

Klass99:
Please ehn, when it comes to your parents remove your eyes from the sibling who is not performing or under-performing and do your best for your parents, while they are alive.

I am not impressed by your sister either but I don't want to dwell on her too much, because I don't have the full picture of her life in Canada, she may or may not be struggling financially.....

However, I hate nonsense and stupidity when it comes to aged parents who deserve better but don't get better, from selfish offspring they gave birth to. Children like your sister are one of the reasons I am staying child free for life.

caandi:
[color=#006600][/color] pls don’t mind people saying you’re doing better
I had an aunt that went to Europe by road
Under one year plus she was at refugees camp abi na ado they call it, she was sending upto 450k home for yearly rent minus monthly allowance
As years went by she flew four of her siblings abroad
Some in Germany, uk and is precisely
She alleviated her family out of poverty
How can you be stingy to your own blood?
Don’t mind people
Some people travel overseas and under 1year and two they start sending home cars for business
Abeg your sis is stingy
But I wonder how come you guys ain’t notice this behavior in her before she left?

larrypourl:
I know FIRS pays well but you see that ministry your brother works. Except he's into runs,he's monthly real salary can't feed him comfortably for a month. Don't be deceived by the AC, big office, secretary and security you see around oo. My boss has spent 35years in service and his total take home is 318k after all mandatory deductions and that's even an agency that pays better than ministries. The only way to be liberated as a civil servant in Naija is to have a business of your own or if you're opportune to be in an office with runs or get good jobs in FG agencies and parastatals. Some of those Assistant Directors in ministries don't take home 250k at the end of the month and have bills waiting for you. Any govt job you're doing without an extra income is penury cos by 2nd week of the month, salary don finish

Klass99:
Smiles......and you think OP's parents didn't train his sister well or in the best way as you put it?

OP comes across as a sensible and responsible person, so I am sure his parents trained them well.

sammiewrite:
I don't have all the facts about OP's story as such I would carefully avoid commenting in that regard. What I want to react to rather, are comments of the so-called "wokes" on this thread. I wouldn't be typing plenty but I just want to drop few lines for some of us to keep in mind.
1. [b]Taking care of one's aged parents who clearly lacks the means is not entitlement. It isn't someone trying to "extort you" either.
2. Whether you like it or not raising kids in Africa is a sacrifice. Most of our parents don't have the economic opportunities of the countries we're trying to copy. They often had to choose between saving or investing at all costs or choosing their kids. [/b]Most times they choose their kids and now you want to tell me this is not sacrifice?