siofra:
So what about your husband?? Is he disabled??

Can't he cook and take care of you?? Won't you do same for him if he were sick??

Hmm.

Nah man wey una wan kill una dey find.
U no wan make the husband go work again? You don think about the stress too?.
Come make I dash u belle wey i go reject make u know how the things dey be.

MrAgbako:

Nah man wey una wan kill una dey find.
U no wan make the husband go work again? You don think about the stress too?.
Come make I dash u belle wey i go reject make u know how the things dey be.

Even if the husband works he should take some time off work when his woman puts to bed to help her.

lilyheaven:
Your third child? and you are saying you can barely take care.
You and your husband can perfectly take care of your new born baby.
What if your mom is not there? Won’t you take care of yourself?
When you deliver, tell her about it, but it won’t be necessary for her to come for omogo.
You don’t have to create issue about it.

Thank you it's not a must for someone to come to omugwo for you, Let someone help you two weeks,then you are good to go after all you have the experience now.

MrAgbako:

Nah man wey una wan kill una dey find.
U no wan make the husband go work again? You don think about the stress too?.
Come make I dash u belle wey i go reject make u know how the things dey be.

It depends on his type of work...and the mentality of the husband too.

MrAgbako:

Nah man wey una wan kill una dey find.
U no wan make the husband go work again? You don think about the stress too?.
Come make I dash u belle wey i go reject make u know how the things dey be.

The man should take a break from work to look after his wife and baby

Rokiat:


Even if the husband works he should take some time off work when his woman puts to bed to help her.

Rest
We both know whatever little effort he might put in is not enough and there is even one dummbo that quoted me telling me the husband should quit his job to help is wife. Abeg watin family go chop if man no work. Thunder wey go fire that guy still dey do press up

VTJN:
The man should take a break from work to look after his wife and baby

Thunder wey go fire u still dey do press up ...
If a man don't work to have money will any woman marry him in the first place. E be like bomb dey ur head

Yes ooo!

Kobojunkie:
In many cultures outside of Africa, na husband and wife dey take care of all that fa!

Hehe 😉 thunder is not firing any body.
Federal government has approved 14 days maternity leave for fathers 🤩

MrAgbako:

Thunder wey go fire u still dey do press up ...
If a man don't work to have money will any woman marry him in the first place. E be like bomb dey ur head

I’m sure you are living in Africa.
Your wife will divorce you abroad , with this ideas of yours

When you marry a wife you love dearly, you will do everything for her

MrAgbako:

Nah man wey una wan kill una dey find.
U no wan make the husband go work again? You don think about the stress too?.
Come make I dash u belle wey i go reject make u know how the things dey be.

Since your mother and your husband have refused to help you, I think you should look for a caring friend and go live till your child is three months. Save your self, unless you don't want your body to heal fast.

lilyheaven:
I’m sure you are living in Africa.
Your wife will divorce you abroad , with this ideas of yours

When you marry a wife you love dearly, you will do everything for her

Lol
Y'all pathetic lot. Love seams to be one sided thing for you myopic lot. Wait o. U womenfolks sef no fit do everything for una husbands since y'all claimed to love him.
Even if you no fit do kitchen works employ housemaid nah..

So going to work and providing for the family is not love abi? Until I wash kitchen plates that is when you will accept it is love abi. I no blame una. I blame those weak men responsible for this nonsense.

Look enh lemme address your properly.
I live in Nigeria. I was born and raise up here and I am proud of my heritage.
I won't say much but if you expect a man like me to do extra at home after all that stress from work then you in for a long thing and if perhaps let assume a Western or white woman wish to be my life partner. I will laid own my rules and regulations and she must comply to it. I'm that kinda dude that turn a woman into anything I want her to be...

So quick talking and go pick up your dilldo sexxx toy

MrAgbako:

Rest
We both know whatever little effort he might put in is not enough and there is even one dummbo that quoted me telling me the husband should quit his job to help is wife. Abeg watin family go chop if man no work. Thunder wey go fire that guy still dey do press up

Well he should try harder.

The kind of things I usually read on this forum baffles me sometimes.

Hello, anything that concerns my personal happiness is a RED LINE for me.

If your mother's presence in the house will cause you one bit of discomfort or unhappiness... By All means, let her not come!

Why are you even bringing it to the public forum for advice? Do you need Public validation for your comfort and privacy?

You mother is obviously trying to manipulate you emotionally. You owe her nothing. She owes it to you to train you as her child. Never allow her to manipulate you with the emotional "After all I did for you" claptrap.

Pursue your peace of mind and happiness. Very important!

Ijelenwanyioma:
my mum always makes me cry by telling me some very harsh word. She will force me to drink very hot water that I can't even pour on my skin. If I refuse to drink she will get angry and start her wahala again. I don't just want her to come to my house again for my mental health. O ti su mi

If you feel like the above, then phone her to tell her how you feel and how her presence for omugwo may push you into post natal depression but if she refuses to see reason then you have to be blunt and tell her not to come so that both you and her can have peace of mind but you have to be firm because there is no point risking your mental health to satisfy anyone.

If you are not bold enough to tell her not to come to her face or over the phone, then write a letter to her detailing how you feel and also asking her not to come for omugwo and get a courier to deliver it to her at a time you know she will be at home and this should do the trick.

Your mum will get over your insistence on her not coming maybe not immediately but in a year or 2 she will get over it.

MrAgbako:

Thunder wey go fire u still dey do press up ...
If a man don't work to have money will any woman marry him in the first place. E be like bomb dey ur head

If the woman was working will you say this? Will she take permission from her work to look after her husband or not?
Many men do take some break at work whenever their wife put to bed.

You don’t eat?
Because of kitchen utensils.
Is kitchen utensils the only work at home.
Besides,
She never complained she can’t take care of her kitchen.
And who told you she’s not working?
Your ego is too much, bring it down.
Wicked soul.

MrAgbako:

Lol
Y'all pathetic lot. Love seams to be one sided thing for you myopic lot. Wait o. U womenfolks sef no fit do everything for una husbands since y'all claimed to love him.
Even if you no fit do kitchen works employ housemaid nah..

So going to work and providing for the family is not love abi? Until I wash kitchen plates that is when you will accept it is love abi. I no blame una. I blame those weak men responsible for this nonsense.

Look enh lemme address your properly.
I live in Nigeria. I was born and raise up here and I am proud of my heritage.
I won't say much but if you expect a man like me to do extra at home after all that stress from work then you in for a long thing and if perhaps let assume a Western or white woman wish to be my life partner. I will laid own my rules and regulations and she must comply to it. I'm that kinda dude that turn a woman into anything I want her to be...

So quick talking and go pick up your dilldo sexxx toy

Noted.

If you don’t want her to come that’s fine. She’s your mother after all. Glad she’s not your mother inlaw. But quick question, are you sure she is really your mother? As in the woman that gave birth to you? You need to start asking some questions o.

Why is it that it’s only women who attack women in marriage the more? Mother attack daughter, mother inlaw attacks daughter inlaw? You never hear cases of father inlaw and son inlaw or father and son.

Women would stress you from childhood till they are all old.

You need to tell her before coming. If not make she dey her dey. Some African parents need to be dealt with by clearing them.

Ijelenwanyioma:

I am pregnant and by special grace of God, I am expected to have my baby in 3 months time. The issue is that I don't want my mother to come for my omugwo. I am her only daughter but she hate me so much. At first I thought it is old age but she's just 60+ and I have seen older women treating their daughter right.

The last omugwo she came I saw hell, I gave birth on Monday and she came on Thursday. I had 3rd degree tear(that type that they will stitch from anus to vagina) I explained to her that I can't stand for long because of the pain. Meanwhile before she came, a woman from my husband place was taking care of me and she won't let me come down from bed except to eat, bath, breastfeed my baby and sleep. But when she saw my mum, she stopped coming. The woman already prepared soup and kept inside freezer on Wednesday before my mum arrived. It was that soup we ate till Sunday. On Sunday morning I asked my mum what we will eat and she told me to wait for people that are coming to visit us so I can send any of them to market and cook. Like how can I send my visitor message? So I waited for my husband and son to come back from church. I just took tea and also served her. My husband went to market and bought the things I needed to make stew. My baby was sleeping and I went inside kitchen to make stew. My mum sat down comfortably in the sitting room watching film and gisting with visitors that came to see me and my baby. I was in serious pain but I have to cook what me and everybody will eat. I served her the food after cooking and she gladly ate it. She's is neither sick or having pain anywhere.

My mother never cook anything in my house for 4 months till she left. The day I mentioned it to her. She started crying that she knows I hate her like my father. Like how? I even expected her to apologise and lie that she wasn't feeling fine that day. Among all her children, I give her more money but she always show me I am not important.

The problem is, even though this is my third child, I can barely take care of child under 1 month. Apart from cooking, my mum always makes me cry by telling me some very harsh word. She will force me to drink very hot water that I can't even pour on my skin. If I refuse to drink she will get angry and start her wahala again. I don't just want her to come to my house again for my mental health. O ti su mi 😭😭

Honestly though, why would you get pregnant again, two children is enough, considering the pain you went through, you guys are trying oh!

Tell her not to come.
Let your husbands mother come instead.

Your mum is your mum and she will not change.
If your MIL can come around to help out-cool.
If you have younger sis that can help out -cool.
Your hubby should have "erected" bathing n changing diapers and feeding babies now.
Tell your mum your family have been blessed with a baby and you will come see her as soon as you can as you do not need her to start stressing to come around

You have valid reasons for not wanting her to come for omugo.

The question you need to ask yourself is What would happen if she does not come?

You must prepare to live with the consequences of stopping her from coming.

The truth is, nothing will happen.

It's not advisable you subject yourself to emotional stress so soon after childbirth otherwise it could lead to PTSD.

Give yourself peace of mind to take care of your baby.

By the way, make sure you get the support of your husband on this so that if your mum raises dust, both of you can fight it.

Wishing you a safe delivery

Ijelenwanyioma:

you don’t sound mature enough to be making babies

Secondly, is your husband also having stitches or pushing any baby through his v*gina?

Thirdly, if you cannot make decisions for yourself and wellbeing it leads back to my first statement

If you don’t want your mum to come simply tell her not to bother and tell her straight that the last time wasn’t a pleasant experience for you

Ha that’s a terrible thing for her to do, a true mother won’t do that to her child

How did she know you are pregnant??

Ijelenwanyioma:

I am pregnant and by special grace of God, I am expected to have my baby in 3 months time. The issue is that I don't want my mother to come for my omugwo. I am her only daughter but she hate me so much. At first I thought it is old age but she's just 60+ and I have seen older women treating their daughter right.

The last omugwo she came I saw hell, I gave birth on Monday and she came on Thursday. I had 3rd degree tear(that type that they will stitch from anus to vagina) I explained to her that I can't stand for long because of the pain. Meanwhile before she came, a woman from my husband place was taking care of me and she won't let me come down from bed except to eat, bath, breastfeed my baby and sleep. But when she saw my mum, she stopped coming. The woman already prepared soup and kept inside freezer on Wednesday before my mum arrived. It was that soup we ate till Sunday. On Sunday morning I asked my mum what we will eat and she told me to wait for people that are coming to visit us so I can send any of them to market and cook. Like how can I send my visitor message? So I waited for my husband and son to come back from church. I just took tea and also served her. My husband went to market and bought the things I needed to make stew. My baby was sleeping and I went inside kitchen to make stew. My mum sat down comfortably in the sitting room watching film and gisting with visitors that came to see me and my baby. I was in serious pain but I have to cook what me and everybody will eat. I served her the food after cooking and she gladly ate it. She's is neither sick or having pain anywhere.

My mother never cook anything in my house for 4 months till she left. The day I mentioned it to her. She started crying that she knows I hate her like my father. Like how? I even expected her to apologise and lie that she wasn't feeling fine that day. Among all her children, I give her more money but she always show me I am not important.

The problem is, even though this is my third child, I can barely take care of child under 1 month. Apart from cooking, my mum always makes me cry by telling me some very harsh word. She will force me to drink very hot water that I can't even pour on my skin. If I refuse to drink she will get angry and start her wahala again. I don't just want her to come to my house again for my mental health. O ti su mi 😭😭

Grow up, take control of your life. Narcissist people regardless of who they are should be addressed squarely!

Abeg for your mental health, discuss with ur husband for someone u trust from his side to come. Omugwo na turn by turn. You can schedule a visit for your mother during dedication if u are from the side that wait at least 3-6months for Childs dedication . Some mothers get touch touch for head.

Ijelenwanyioma:

I am pregnant and by special grace of God, I am expected to have my baby in 3 months time. The issue is that I don't want my mother to come for my omugwo. I am her only daughter but she hate me so much. At first I thought it is old age but she's just 60+ and I have seen older women treating their daughter right.

The last omugwo she came I saw hell, I gave birth on Monday and she came on Thursday. I had 3rd degree tear(that type that they will stitch from anus to vagina) I explained to her that I can't stand for long because of the pain. Meanwhile before she came, a woman from my husband place was taking care of me and she won't let me come down from bed except to eat, bath, breastfeed my baby and sleep. But when she saw my mum, she stopped coming. The woman already prepared soup and kept inside freezer on Wednesday before my mum arrived. It was that soup we ate till Sunday. On Sunday morning I asked my mum what we will eat and she told me to wait for people that are coming to visit us so I can send any of them to market and cook. Like how can I send my visitor message? So I waited for my husband and son to come back from church. I just took tea and also served her. My husband went to market and bought the things I needed to make stew. My baby was sleeping and I went inside kitchen to make stew. My mum sat down comfortably in the sitting room watching film and gisting with visitors that came to see me and my baby. I was in serious pain but I have to cook what me and everybody will eat. I served her the food after cooking and she gladly ate it. She's is neither sick or having pain anywhere.

My mother never cook anything in my house for 4 months till she left. The day I mentioned it to her. She started crying that she knows I hate her like my father. Like how? I even expected her to apologise and lie that she wasn't feeling fine that day. Among all her children, I give her more money but she always show me I am not important.

The problem is, even though this is my third child, I can barely take care of child under 1 month. Apart from cooking, my mum always makes me cry by telling me some very harsh word. She will force me to drink very hot water that I can't even pour on my skin. If I refuse to drink she will get angry and start her wahala again. I don't just want her to come to my house again for my mental health. O ti su mi 😭😭

Aje....


When our mother get to that age, 60+, they behave that way,she is your mum, you just have to understand her at that age ...

My neighbor a Yoruba woman gave birth. She said in the Yoruba tradition, it's is her husband's mother (her mother-in-law) that will come for her Omogwu.

The mother-in-law came a day after birth. Spent only a week and left.

Everybody shock.

At the end, It was her own mother that was coming from home to take care of her.

Bottom line, if your mother will come and not help you, then politely tell her you can handle yourself.

Then call that other lady to come and help u.

Let her come after 6 months and let the other lady help you after delivery it is very stressful for what some of our mothers do my mom did the same to my younger sister when she came for omugwo. Please stay strong and happy after you're recovered she can come so for you not to be unhappy so you heal fast!