| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by GoodCane: 6:54am On Apr 12, 2023 |
Ijelenwanyioma:
I understand you sir but this happened about 5 years ago and she has not even enter 60 then. I have washing machine and market to our house is not up to 5mins walk. Even most times she will tell me to bath my baby that she's tired. I know how my mum treat other people children and she treat me differently. From my childhood, we were never close even though we lived together. She believes my father loves me more than her which is even not true. Like is it my fault for my daddy to love me? Stop killing yourself. Hire someone to do the job until the baby comes of age then your mom can visit. |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by wirinet(m): 6:58am On Apr 12, 2023 |
Orinechi:
Appreciate ur own culture for once. In many culture my foot What's there to appreciate about misogynistic culture that oppresses women and children? Most so called African cultures are ways of suppressing and exploiting vulnerable members of the society - women, children, the poor and the disabled. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by wirinet(m): 7:03am On Apr 12, 2023 |
Orinechi:
Our is still serving us. Those of u who who don't know how and where u started will alway claim what u have written above to safe face. If i may ask what aspect no longer serve man? What aspect does a woman not having inheritance in her fathers estate serve? What aspect does women having to endure humiliating rituals after the death of her husband serve? What aspect does the Osu outcast system serve? And lots more.... Even the Omugwo culture no longer serves its purpose as it has become an avenue for conflict and exploitation of the daughter's family. It will be cheaper and less troublesome to hire a nanny. Why will a woman leave her husbands home and her work to go and do nanny for her daughter's family. It is assumed she is jobless. What will happen to the husband and her own family when the mother is away for 4 to 6 months to do omugwo? 1 Like |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by Vikdus: 7:08am On Apr 12, 2023 |
Ijelenwanyioma simple,tell her not to come. It is not a must that she would come for omugwopost=122408166:
I am pregnant and by special grace of God, I am expected to have my baby in 3 months time. The issue is that I don't want my mother to come for my omugwo. I am her only daughter but she hate me so much. At first I thought it is old age but she's just 60+ and I have seen older women treating their daughter right.
The last omugwo she came I saw hell, I gave birth on Monday and she came on Thursday. I had 3rd degree tear(that type that they will stitch from anus to vagina) I explained to her that I can't stand for long because of the pain. Meanwhile before she came, a woman from my husband place was taking care of me and she won't let me come down from bed except to eat, bath, breastfeed my baby and sleep. But when she saw my mum, she stopped coming. The woman already prepared soup and kept inside freezer on Wednesday before my mum arrived. It was that soup we ate till Sunday. On Sunday morning I asked my mum what we will eat and she told me to wait for people that are coming to visit us so I can send any of them to market and cook. Like how can I send my visitor message? So I waited for my husband and son to come back from church. I just took tea and also served her. My husband went to market and bought the things I needed to make stew. My baby was sleeping and I went inside kitchen to make stew. My mum sat down comfortably in the sitting room watching film and gisting with visitors that came to see me and my baby. I was in serious pain but I have to cook what me and everybody will eat. I served her the food after cooking and she gladly ate it. She's is neither sick or having pain anywhere.
My mother never cook anything in my house for 4 months till she left. The day I mentioned it to her. She started crying that she knows I hate her like my father. Like how? I even expected her to apologise and lie that she wasn't feeling fine that day. Among all her children, I give her more money but she always show me I am not important.
The problem is, even though this is my third child, I can barely take care of child under 1 month. Apart from cooking, my mum always makes me cry by telling me some very harsh word. She will force me to drink very hot water that I can't even pour on my skin. If I refuse to drink she will get angry and start her wahala again. I don't just want her to come to my house again for my mental health. O ti su mi 😭😭
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| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by dheolexaone(f): 7:12am On Apr 12, 2023 |
My dear, postpartum mental stress itself is enough for a woman than adding more garri to the milk on ground.
If you are capable, engage the service of other women in the hood that will help you do the stuffs in exchange for money. She will ask, just let her know they are helping you.
As for your mum, pls whatever she do, don't be mad at her for your own blessing in life n heaven hereafter. You have to deal with her with wisdom without causing chaos.
Let her come and tell her how difficult it is at the moment to feed more ppl in the house. That will shorten her stay.
She is so comfortable, that is why she dey stretch leg on table watch Africa Magic.
If you have to, don't subscribe sef make u block her ally vision.
Na she go go herself. But don't fight with her. Wisdom is the weapon 🔫🔪
God will see you through. |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by RenaissanceGuy: 7:33am On Apr 12, 2023 |
Ijelenwanyioma:
I am pregnant and by special grace of God, I am expected to have my baby in 3 months time. The issue is that I don't want my mother to come for my omugwo. I am her only daughter but she hate me so much. At first I thought it is old age but she's just 60+ and I have seen older women treating their daughter right.
The last omugwo she came I saw hell, I gave birth on Monday and she came on Thursday. I had 3rd degree tear(that type that they will stitch from anus to vagina) I explained to her that I can't stand for long because of the pain. Meanwhile before she came, a woman from my husband place was taking care of me and she won't let me come down from bed except to eat, bath, breastfeed my baby and sleep. But when she saw my mum, she stopped coming. The woman already prepared soup and kept inside freezer on Wednesday before my mum arrived. It was that soup we ate till Sunday. On Sunday morning I asked my mum what we will eat and she told me to wait for people that are coming to visit us so I can send any of them to market and cook. Like how can I send my visitor message? So I waited for my husband and son to come back from church. I just took tea and also served her. My husband went to market and bought the things I needed to make stew. My baby was sleeping and I went inside kitchen to make stew. My mum sat down comfortably in the sitting room watching film and gisting with visitors that came to see me and my baby. I was in serious pain but I have to cook what me and everybody will eat. I served her the food after cooking and she gladly ate it. She's is neither sick or having pain anywhere.
My mother never cook anything in my house for 4 months till she left. The day I mentioned it to her. She started crying that she knows I hate her like my father. Like how? I even expected her to apologise and lie that she wasn't feeling fine that day. Among all her children, I give her more money but she always show me I am not important.
The problem is, even though this is my third child, I can barely take care of child under 1 month. Apart from cooking, my mum always makes me cry by telling me some very harsh word. She will force me to drink very hot water that I can't even pour on my skin. If I refuse to drink she will get angry and start her wahala again. I don't just want her to come to my house again for my mental health. O ti su mi 😭😭
At least you can see that witches are not imaginary creation, but are real. I'm not saying she's a witch yet, but this is one of the characters of witches. |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by Blackdisciple(m): 7:44am On Apr 12, 2023 |
The Omugo shouldn't be just the wife mum alone if the husbands mum is available from were she is, she can come over because that stress your mum is putting you, you don't deserve such stress... Wetin single guy know about Omugo sef  1 Like |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by sixtus3606(m): 8:00am On Apr 12, 2023 |
Ijelenwanyioma:
I am pregnant and by special grace of God, I am expected to have my baby in 3 months time. The issue is that I don't want my mother to come for my omugwo. I am her only daughter but she hate me so much. At first I thought it is old age but she's just 60+ and I have seen older women treating their daughter right.
The last omugwo she came I saw hell, I gave birth on Monday and she came on Thursday. I had 3rd degree tear(that type that they will stitch from anus to vagina) I explained to her that I can't stand for long because of the pain. Meanwhile before she came, a woman from my husband place was taking care of me and she won't let me come down from bed except to eat, bath, breastfeed my baby and sleep. But when she saw my mum, she stopped coming. The woman already prepared soup and kept inside freezer on Wednesday before my mum arrived. It was that soup we ate till Sunday. On Sunday morning I asked my mum what we will eat and she told me to wait for people that are coming to visit us so I can send any of them to market and cook. Like how can I send my visitor message? So I waited for my husband and son to come back from church. I just took tea and also served her. My husband went to market and bought the things I needed to make stew. My baby was sleeping and I went inside kitchen to make stew. My mum sat down comfortably in the sitting room watching film and gisting with visitors that came to see me and my baby. I was in serious pain but I have to cook what me and everybody will eat. I served her the food after cooking and she gladly ate it. She's is neither sick or having pain anywhere.
My mother never cook anything in my house for 4 months till she left. The day I mentioned it to her. She started crying that she knows I hate her like my father. Like how? I even expected her to apologise and lie that she wasn't feeling fine that day. Among all her children, I give her more money but she always show me I am not important.
The problem is, even though this is my third child, I can barely take care of child under 1 month. Apart from cooking, my mum always makes me cry by telling me some very harsh word. She will force me to drink very hot water that I can't even pour on my skin. If I refuse to drink she will get angry and start her wahala again. I don't just want her to come to my house again for my mental health. O ti su mi 😭😭
For your sanity, make she dey her own husband house. Period! |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by Prettychild(f): 8:48am On Apr 12, 2023 |
[quote author=Ijelenwanyioma post=122408166]
I am pregnant and by special grace of God, I am expected to have my baby in 3 months time. The issue is that I don't want my mother to come for my omugwo. I am her only daughter but she hate me so much. At first I thought it is old age but she's just 60+ and I have seen older women treating their daughter right.
The last omugwo she came I saw hell, I gave birth on Monday and she came on Thursday. I had 3rd degree tear(that type that they will stitch from anus to vagina) I explained to her that I can't stand for long because of the pain. Meanwhile before she came, a woman from my husband place was taking care of me and she won't let me come down from bed except to eat, bath, breastfeed my baby and sleep. But when she saw my mum, she stopped coming. The woman already prepared soup and kept inside freezer on Wednesday before my mum arrived. It was that soup we ate till Sunday. On Sunday morning I asked my mum what we will eat and she told me to wait for people that are coming to visit us so I can send any of them to market and cook. Like how can I send my visitor message? So I waited for my husband and son to come back from church. I just took tea and also served her. My husband went to market and bought the things I needed to make stew. My baby was sleeping and I went inside kitchen to make stew. My mum sat down comfortably in the sitting room watching film and gisting with visitors that came to see me and my baby. I was in serious pain but I have to cook what me and everybody will eat. I served her the food after cooking and she gladly ate it. She's is neither sick or having pain anywhere.
My mother never cook anything in my house for 4 months till she left. The day I mentioned it to her. She started crying that she knows I hate her like my father. Like how? I even expected her to apologise and lie that she wasn't feeling fine that day. Among all her children, I give her more money but she always show me I am not important.
The problem is, even though this is my third child, I can barely take care of child under 1 month. Apart from cooking, my mum always makes me cry by telling me some very harsh word. She will force me to drink very hot water that I can't even pour on my skin. If I refuse to drink she will get angry and start her wahala again. I don't just want her to come to my house again for my mental health. O ti su mi 😭😭
[/quote
Please, please don’t tell her that you have given birth until after like 2 months when the baby has grown and you are a bit stronger. There are a handful of mothers like that O! |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by Montaque(m): 10:08am On Apr 12, 2023 |
Use your husband for protection. My father told me "a woman whose husband is alive does not offend anyone". Just ask your husband to make the call or you tell her your husband has taken care of it from his side of the family. She will not blame you. There is a difference between Omugwo and holiday. You mum is coming for holiday, a get-away from her stay in her matrimonial home. Don't indulge her if she will bring you stress instead of comfort. |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by ROK123: 10:21am On Apr 12, 2023 |
If telling her not to come will bring issues with both of you, just allow her to come and make sure you have someone that will help you out( that's if she will not have problem with the person |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by delishpot: 10:53am On Apr 12, 2023 |
CondenseMilk:
Ijelenwanyioma
what a beautiful Monika, meanwhile since this is your third child, I don't think you need any omugwo.
lastly, do you need some condensed milk?
You are funny. The more kids you have, the more help you need oga. She has two kids to care for plus the newborn baby. The way you guys just think you can discern a woman's need is interesting 1 Like |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by Nobody: 11:23am On Apr 12, 2023 |
delishpot:
You are funny. The more kids you have, the more help you need oga. She has two kids to care for plus the newborn baby. The way you guys just think you can discern a woman's need is interesting You don't even need anyone to assist you to the hospital for a third after having 2 kids. The third should be a smooth sail like a car on an okro road. NB: I am referring to women that do not have artificial implants on their natural body. As for House chores, her husband can handle it joor |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by Kobojunkiee: 2:21pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Orinechi:
■ Our is still serving us.
■ Those of u who who don't know how and where u started will alway claim what u have written above to safe face. If i may ask what aspect no longer serve man? Serving you how?  2. This statement clearly reveals instead that you serve your culture and not the other way around. |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by ghettochild4u(m): 2:48pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
NoToPile:
Then find a way to tell her not to come, however you want to do it. she will try to blackmail you emotionally ignore, she can come after 4 months or so when you are properly healed and can accommodate her whims.
A new mother doesn't need all these drama.
That said, a lot of grandmother's may not have the strength health wise to do all what omugwo entails due to old age sometimes the grandmother's get tended to by the person that is supposed to be taken care of.
This just adds more stress to the new mother if you ask me. I feel a younger person should be accompanying the old women for the omugwo but then there's also the issue of feeding two extra mouths for months. I don't know how we expect a 70 year old to cook, wash baby clothes tend to baby, press new mum's belly, go to market etc and etc.
Better still kuku let a younger person that has all the strength come alone and do all the work. The mother will cope with bathing baby. Just saying sha.
This mothe is in her 60s.... She's not too old to take care of a baby.... She's just lazy.. She has no reason to stay in that house beyond 3 days after the naming |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by ghettochild4u(m): 2:50pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Did u even tell her you were pregnant??
Just tell her ur husband already made plans for someone who wil take care of u...
Or have ur husband bring his mother over or any one whose like a mother to him if he ain't got one anymore. |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by Otunba2004(m): 3:18pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
MrAgbako:
Lol
Y'all pathetic lot. Love seams to be one sided thing for you myopic lot. Wait o. U womenfolks sef no fit do everything for una husbands since y'all claimed to love him.
Even if you no fit do kitchen works employ housemaid nah..
So going to work and providing for the family is not love abi? Until I wash kitchen plates that is when you will accept it is love abi. I no blame una. I blame those weak men responsible for this nonsense.
Look enh lemme address your properly.
I live in Nigeria. I was born and raise up here and I am proud of my heritage.
I won't say much but if you expect a man like me to do extra at home after all that stress from work then you in for a long thing and if perhaps let assume a Western or white woman wish to be my life partner. I will laid own my rules and regulations and she must comply to it. I'm that kinda dude that turn a woman into anything I want her to be...
So quick talking and go pick up your dilldo sexxx toy
oil dey your head jare my good friend I don't take nonsense from any woman, doing house chore for wat?I can play with my baby on weekends while the mother sleeping only when the baby is in good mood not crying but enter kitchen will never be my portion,men doing that should continue it doesn't concerns me,in our family we don't have mugun as men but smart and sharp guys our wives always follow our instructions in fact all my junior ones resembles me in characters and all of us resembles our lovely father 😂awon gbauntueyo okunrin,woman wrapper,nonsense 1 Like |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by millstone(m): 3:30pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
libertyfather:
Simple get someone to do her job, let her come her usual come eat and go, no fight no enemy she remains ur mother...but one thing about woman accusing the kids of hating them like their father....fear dem i repeat fear dem, they usually frustrate the man life and wants the kids to be supporting their evil deed This is the best advice o. Do otherwise and you would have lit a match you will forever regret |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by DrDunamis(m): 3:41pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Ijelenwanyioma:
I am pregnant and by special grace of God, I am expected to have my baby in 3 months time. The issue is that I don't want my mother to come for my omugwo. I am her only daughter but she hate me so much. At first I thought it is old age but she's just 60+ and I have seen older women treating their daughter right.
The last omugwo she came I saw hell, I gave birth on Monday and she came on Thursday. I had 3rd degree tear(that type that they will stitch from anus to vagina) I explained to her that I can't stand for long because of the pain. Meanwhile before she came, a woman from my husband place was taking care of me and she won't let me come down from bed except to eat, bath, breastfeed my baby and sleep. But when she saw my mum, she stopped coming. The woman already prepared soup and kept inside freezer on Wednesday before my mum arrived. It was that soup we ate till Sunday. On Sunday morning I asked my mum what we will eat and she told me to wait for people that are coming to visit us so I can send any of them to market and cook. Like how can I send my visitor message? So I waited for my husband and son to come back from church. I just took tea and also served her. My husband went to market and bought the things I needed to make stew. My baby was sleeping and I went inside kitchen to make stew. My mum sat down comfortably in the sitting room watching film and gisting with visitors that came to see me and my baby. I was in serious pain but I have to cook what me and everybody will eat. I served her the food after cooking and she gladly ate it. She's is neither sick or having pain anywhere.
My mother never cook anything in my house for 4 months till she left. The day I mentioned it to her. She started crying that she knows I hate her like my father. Like how? I even expected her to apologise and lie that she wasn't feeling fine that day. Among all her children, I give her more money but she always show me I am not important.
The problem is, even though this is my third child, I can barely take care of child under 1 month. Apart from cooking, my mum always makes me cry by telling me some very harsh word. She will force me to drink very hot water that I can't even pour on my skin. If I refuse to drink she will get angry and start her wahala again. I don't just want her to come to my house again for my mental health. O ti su mi 😭😭
This thing is quite simple na, the woman is old. While you're expecting her to come take care of you and the baby, she's coming to be taken care of, so just get someone who would do the care part. |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by histemple: 6:06pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
libertyfather:
Simple get someone to do her job, let her come her usual come eat and go, no fight no enemy she remains ur mother...but one thing about woman accusing the kids of hating them like their father....fear dem i repeat fear dem, they usually frustrate the man life and wants the kids to be supporting their evil deed Very true. They are very wicked and usually gives the man serious trouble. 1 Like |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by Jesslove(f): 6:50pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
If u can cope doing ur thing,pls tell her not to bother herself,its not a crime,thank God she's ur mom not mil,so speak with her not to worry,abi na by force ni |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by jessylaurel(f): 7:20pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Ijelenwanyioma:
I am pregnant and by special grace of God, I am expected to have my baby in 3 months time. The issue is that I don't want my mother to come for my omugwo. I am her only daughter but she hate me so much. At first I thought it is old age but she's just 60+ and I have seen older women treating their daughter right.
The last omugwo she came I saw hell, I gave birth on Monday and she came on Thursday. I had 3rd degree tear(that type that they will stitch from anus to vagina) I explained to her that I can't stand for long because of the pain. Meanwhile before she came, a woman from my husband place was taking care of me and she won't let me come down from bed except to eat, bath, breastfeed my baby and sleep. But when she saw my mum, she stopped coming. The woman already prepared soup and kept inside freezer on Wednesday before my mum arrived. It was that soup we ate till Sunday. On Sunday morning I asked my mum what we will eat and she told me to wait for people that are coming to visit us so I can send any of them to market and cook. Like how can I send my visitor message? So I waited for my husband and son to come back from church. I just took tea and also served her. My husband went to market and bought the things I needed to make stew. My baby was sleeping and I went inside kitchen to make stew. My mum sat down comfortably in the sitting room watching film and gisting with visitors that came to see me and my baby. I was in serious pain but I have to cook what me and everybody will eat. I served her the food after cooking and she gladly ate it. She's is neither sick or having pain anywhere.
My mother never cook anything in my house for 4 months till she left. The day I mentioned it to her. She started crying that she knows I hate her like my father. Like how? I even expected her to apologise and lie that she wasn't feeling fine that day. Among all her children, I give her more money but she always show me I am not important.
The problem is, even though this is my third child, I can barely take care of child under 1 month. Apart from cooking, my mum always makes me cry by telling me some very harsh word. She will force me to drink very hot water that I can't even pour on my skin. If I refuse to drink she will get angry and start her wahala again. I don't just want her to come to my house again for my mental health. O ti su mi 😭😭
I guess you were giving her headache when you were single so she returning the favour. However if that's not the case you can talk to your husband and ask her not to come that you can handle it, then call the other woman to come. |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by isabi2lof: 8:24pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Anybody that will not help should bother not coming I hate what I don't like . |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by galantjoe(m): 11:53pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Tell her to stop preparing for coming.
As simple as A B C
Why do you need public advice just to do some thing that will benefit your life.
What if you fell in the kitchen preparing the soup just less a week after child birth
Another shocker I got from your story is having tear or incision from v*gina to anus. Nawaoo. How can they stitch this express way to become pathway again. |
| Re: I Don't Want My Mother To Come For My Omugwo by delishpot: 6:55am On Apr 14, 2023 |
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