₦airaland Forum

Rubyjade:
, it will change a lot, not a bit. Just know where to draw the line.

Already getting prepared tho

Rubyjade:
Obinna, Sit your brother and clear him everything so that you can make the money.

dem no go gree until the money clear commot for their eye

vickydevoka:
If you don't want to have serious issues with your siblings don't make them your best friends. Hi, how is family is ok. When you are too close to someone you might end up as an enemy, especially when their is entitlement in the relationship or friendship. That's y husband and wife turn out to be enemies. Unless oon of the parties is a real born again

I don't get this

Rubyjade:
it cosmetics peacefulness.

I don't agree...

OGHENAOGIE:
I don't agree...

Gani Fawahemi
Abiola Kids
Fela Kuti all of them are not close. The envy and competition is too much. Women are VERY competitive

Rubyjade:
Gani Fawahemi
Abiola Kids
Fela Kuti all of them are not close. The envy and competition is too much. Women are VERY competitive

don't we have these issues in monogamous families... Abi women in monogamous families ain't competitive too

There are so many factors that could caused strife among siblings. Yes jealousy and envy may be part of it but I think it is human nature particularly those that do not have the spirit of God to wanting to cause unnecessary acrimony.
Using my own as an example, I love my sister and brother so well that I can sacrifice anything for them but I found out that they don't like me like that. Initially I thought it was due to the pressure of life particularly economic reason that makes everyone wants to hurtle but I later discovered that it was not that.
I could recall that it all started when I impregnated a lady who later became my wife, there was nothing for me and my siblings were like throwing jibes at me. all manner of jibes that are coded that will make you know that you were being dragged. Anyway, it is a long story, time will not permit me.
Be it as it may, it is not healthy for siblings to engage in unhealthy relationship. As a matter of fact, they are suppose to be one.

gimakon2:
When you have a younger Sister like mine, I am pretty sure you won't ask this type of question. Someone who shows she is envious of good things and wishes no good come to people. Even went as far as calling meetings because she heard I wanted to go for my travel history, and the same human being is processing admission to go to the UK.

I wanted to date her friend, she had already started to like me, This lady went very extra length to scatter the relationship between us both, went very far as telling the girl stories that were not true in anyway. The relationship shattered , everyone moved on, even when the girls father died, it was a feat for me to extend condolences, but whatever , I am a man, it did not have to be so, i extended my condolences and moved on, and we thank God for all in the very end.

So many other things, OK let me talk about the one of last year, I lost my job. I got bored with accepting anything that looked like a job offer and decided to focus on having my personal startup, instead of being engaged and loosing out after sometime. I was able to finance things for the family and what not. Even this same girl was working, the only thing she does is to come and cause problems in the house, then she comes to the house and pack everything i bought as food stuff with my money, and takes to her own house. Just a minor shaking, she as usual, went to feed my father with abrupt nonsense. If my father sees me, I started to look like irk to him. At some point , i used to go to Cotonou like weekly in order to avoid provocation. She did not stop there, She even made my elder sister fight me and threw something at my face that made me bleed from my nose. And what did she do, she pretended to be the Angel as the very usual. When she heard I started working, she called on the phone and started to behave like she was the best person. I just laughed loudly. And stomach certain things for the major interest of peace.
Before i got the job, i was seeking finances to put my startup in order, after I lost friends , helpers and what not. Just few friends were there for me. I resorted to using Loan sharks to put that my business in order, so i would not be able to pay in say a day or 2 after the due date, when they call, She would tell my parents to leave me to suffer alone, that when I had money i never cared for them at all. I remember i paid Light bills, bought fuel and all treated the family members well when I had money before i lost the Job, what was my offence? That i do not give her money personally at hand, so therefore they should leave me to suffer and bear the brunt alone - but this is someone that comes to the house to pack everything and move to her house, My father saw this and he said it is normal, i looked at him and never said a word.

Or is it the one a friend in Canada volunteered to help me offset the bills, she called the boy in Canada never to help me. That i spend money and go to Ghana and other countries for travel history, that no one should help me, they should allow me bear it alone. I thank God later on, my friend in Ancona in Italy send me over 3000 Euros and i was able to offset everything once and for all, and happiness came back. The boy in Question said if he sees her, they would have serious problems. I been the one calming him down. The one in Canada ended up marrying someone else because of her bad character.

Lately, I worked for a Switzerland company and i was able to get finances, from the money mules, i been able to cost out few cash for house rentals , and i am still working squarely to get cash and give my father for the remainder Also from there i was able to establish my startups for good, we working closely on the funding. She lost her job, and she just been at home here. When money comes, i give her and she also eats. I buy fuel for the generator and do things for the family as usual. She does not even feel free and she barely talks to me. I just let her be for the time being and focus on what I think is quite necessary and I let myself be happy no matter what. I was helping her work out admission in the UK where i was her reference, i completed the reference form and submitted it, she said because I did not upload a letter, she started to haul abuses at me

The thing i deciphered from everything is envy.I have the best job, from the job I got my own company, I travel anywhere, even if I get shakedowns , few days i am back on my feet. This is the main reason, Siblings have problems. For me, I have forgiven her, but I will never have anything to do with her again. She and the rest can go.

this one weak me . Chineke

jaydeevaa:
I happen to be the only child my late mom has for my dad...I have 5 other siblings from my step mum...one of the reasons why siblings fall apart in my own case is envy...my step mum thinks I am doing better than her children, so she chose to tarnish my image b4 family, neighbors and friends, exaggerating things and telling lies against me just to make people hate me and by extension causing hatred btw some of my step siblings and I....and she's supposed to be a pastor...
another issue I observed is that some of my step siblings only reach out to me when they need money, that thing pisses me off...I no be ATM machine, me sef get blood wey dey run through my veins, so I have decided to stop giving

pastor with this kind behaviour nawa

The only reason why siblings fell apart is always from the mother,some of the mothers are the problems of their families when you kept on bringing pregnancy from different men and foist it on your husband thereby bringing different blood that can never agree to each other, brothers or sisters from the same man and woman hardly querell and they always show that love to each other because blood is always thicker than water.

ogene144:
I am from polygamous family I am the only one that attended higher institution for that reason my siblings didn't like me I went through hell wen I live with my immediate sister In Abule Egba they hate my daughter they even scatter my marriage now I don't call anyone of them polygamous family are not good let's abstain from it...

. We all always have something to blame for our situations..can you decide where you will be born?people are who they are..no matter where you came from.

Rubyjade:
Obinna, Sit your brother and clear him everything so that you can make the money.

It’s not about the money, it’s about the future after you’ve made the money, he literally plays a real life game of chess, I’m not good at it due to my conscience and never a gamer, I have this instinct he can shoot me down if need be without a second thought.
I rather not bet it

Rubyjade:
Life is too short for all these. Be the man and make the move.

that's the more reason I am minding my business. I no offend them, we are in different cities though. It's not like we are seeing each other everyday. I believe anyday we see, we go settle. But they must tell me my offense sha.

Mostly boiled down to unnecessary rivalry borne out of plain selfishness,greed and unwillingness to work together for an inclusive ,united family progress and prosperity.im a living example of siblings wickedness I have learned that family that works together, prosper and progress TOGETHER!not ones that'll be telling you about individuals struggle.nothing like family cooperation and togetherness

Praisepriest:
I am from a polygamous family, I haven't spoke withy father this year because of him and my stepmom sowing hatred into her kids against me and my sister. Make I dey on my own.

.




Hmmmmmmmm

Rubyjade:
I don't get this

Over closeness the bring enmity. Some people have forgiven spirit,why some doesn't.

Bad divorce (when the kids are forced to pick a side)

Jeferious:
My brother, only son dey see shege scatter. Na Dem go push you to go marry early, na still Dem no go wan give you and your wife privacy.

If I tell you my own story eh. Dem even leave the family business for me say make I run alone. Their reasons are that it could get them so busy and occupied that they won't find husbands on time. I just laugh in my small mind. All the same, anything that is the best interest of the family must be done. I can't think of marriage now. I'd let them marry first, firstly to use my prime well and secondly to avoid unnecessary jealousy and breach of privacy.

Talk plenty jare. Just be firm and fair at the same time. And set good boundaries.

blessings be bro! Alot I would have loved to talk about, my elder sister ended up spreading hatred amongst everyone, not disputing the fact that I have my own issues but what worsen the whole situation is the fact that the rest all took side because they are all females, warned her not to spread hatred amongst our children before it degenerated to this level.I have since set my boundaries their spouses ate taking side with them and expect me not to take side with mine, not when she wrong though

Hamachi:
Hmn. I don't even know where to start. I believe siblings fall apart for a number of reasons. Envy is one of these reasons. We should all realize that though siblings come out of the birth canal of the same Mother, their destinies are different. The eldest child might not be the most successful child. In a family of 7 children, the 5th born might become richer than the other children due to reasons best known to God and hardwork. Sometimes, strife among siblings is caused by the Father or Mother who openly love one child than the others. The other children will notice this as they grow up and resentment and hate for the favored child sets in. Naturally, there will be competition among siblings but the behaviour of Parents also lead to disharmony among siblings later in life. So when the 4th born starts prospering than his senior brothers and sisters, strife sets in. I have also observed that wives and husbands of siblings also contribute to them falling apart. Women are naturally very competitive and they can wreck havoc on the love between two brothers. I know what I am saying because I have experienced this directly. The wife of an elder brother might not be too happy seeing her husband's junior brother doing well than him. So jealousy sets in and we all know what can happen.

In Europe and North America, there is little love between siblings because of the pressure to see who makes it big first. We have this absurd belief in Africa that the first born must do well than his junior siblings and that they must look up to him all the time. I have since thrown this belief into the dustbin and I've focused on my future with a view to doing well in life. Jay Jay Okocha's brother started playing football before him. Emmanuel Okocha played for the Super Eagles one or two times but Austin Okocha became a legend in the Nigerian National Team. It was even Emmanuel that took Austin Okocha to Germany. Jay Jay played for Clubs in Europe that his elder brother could only dream of. Yet they are still close to one another without any acrimony between them. Same obtains between Emmanuel and Celestine Babayaro. So I believe siblings should love one another and realize that our destinies are different because it is God that has the final answer as to what we will become in life. Cheers.

You've said it all princess




One cold yoghurt for you.

cassyrooy:
Imagine how high and mighty they would have felt to interfere in your marriage and also hate your wife.

My story plenty oh, I have set my boundaries, nobody can interfere in my marriage, in as much i did not interfere In theirs. It is well bro.

yazga:
I've been hearing frequent tales on this issue between siblings and its been making me wonder how it all starts.
I love my siblings to pieces and I'm sure they feel the same way towards me so I can't really imagine why anyone would hate theirs so much they do neither see nor talk.
Some even turn their lives into competitions with their brothers/sisters.
A friend once narrated to me how her immediate elder sister treated her while they were staying together and how the sister stylishly threw her out of the house for no real reason asides petty issues.now that she's even married and her elder sister is not,they are sworn enemies!
Two of my aunt (sisters) and at war now-for petty reasons!
One of my friends doesnt know ANYTHING about his brother and they don't ever call each other for no reason!
Why oh why!

Family do have issues, especially among siblings, and a lot of things contribute to that problem. But I always make sure not to ever engage or support in things that will bring disunity in my family, and also not to involve our children in any issues we are having.



I always maintain that rule.

Envy and sometimes the parents

My siblings piss me off sometimes

You hear about sisters sleeping with their brothers in law, brothers/sisters poisoning each other, stealing from each other.

I just cannot imagine me and siblings doing that to each other. It's crazy and I think it only happens to siblings that lacked love in their household

sunnymighty:
My story plenty oh, I have set my boundaries, nobody can interfere in my marriage, in as much i did not interfere In theirs. It is well bro.

Keep it up. Sometimes, the enemies that causes us destruction are kit and kins.

God bless you boss.

Praisepriest:
I am from a polygamous family, I haven't spoke withy father this year because of him and my stepmom sowing hatred into her kids against me and my sister. Make I dey on my own.

And this is why polygamous doesn't work

ednut1:
Life is not a fairy tale. Mind ya business . I was about to date someone that admitted she was jealous of her junior sister after she got into a relationship while she was single. Can’t relate, couldn’t care less. I just run leave am

Why though? 😅

Ykc2:
Male siblings are always together untill they start marrying one delilah and jezebel after another then house hold will change ,

Abeg shut up. Does the same thing happen with female siblings?

If a girl is too close to her siblings, wont the male try to control and separate them?

gimakon2:
When you have a younger Sister like mine, I am pretty sure you won't ask this type of question. Someone who shows she is envious of good things and wishes no good come to people. Even went as far as calling meetings because she heard I wanted to go for my travel history, and the same human being is processing admission to go to the UK.

I wanted to date her friend, she had already started to like me, This lady went very extra length to scatter the relationship between us both, went very far as telling the girl stories that were not true in anyway. The relationship shattered , everyone moved on, even when the girls father died, it was a feat for me to extend condolences, but whatever , I am a man, it did not have to be so, i extended my condolences and moved on, and we thank God for all in the very end.

So many other things, OK let me talk about the one of last year, I lost my job. I got bored with accepting anything that looked like a job offer and decided to focus on having my personal startup, instead of being engaged and loosing out after sometime. I was able to finance things for the family and what not. Even this same girl was working, the only thing she does is to come and cause problems in the house, then she comes to the house and pack everything i bought as food stuff with my money, and takes to her own house. Just a minor shaking, she as usual, went to feed my father with abrupt nonsense. If my father sees me, I started to look like irk to him. At some point , i used to go to Cotonou like weekly in order to avoid provocation. She did not stop there, She even made my elder sister fight me and threw something at my face that made me bleed from my nose. And what did she do, she pretended to be the Angel as the very usual. When she heard I started working, she called on the phone and started to behave like she was the best person. I just laughed loudly. And stomach certain things for the major interest of peace.
Before i got the job, i was seeking finances to put my startup in order, after I lost friends , helpers and what not. Just few friends were there for me. I resorted to using Loan sharks to put that my business in order, so i would not be able to pay in say a day or 2 after the due date, when they call, She would tell my parents to leave me to suffer alone, that when I had money i never cared for them at all. I remember i paid Light bills, bought fuel and all treated the family members well when I had money before i lost the Job, what was my offence? That i do not give her money personally at hand, so therefore they should leave me to suffer and bear the brunt alone - but this is someone that comes to the house to pack everything and move to her house, My father saw this and he said it is normal, i looked at him and never said a word.

Or is it the one a friend in Canada volunteered to help me offset the bills, she called the boy in Canada never to help me. That i spend money and go to Ghana and other countries for travel history, that no one should help me, they should allow me bear it alone. I thank God later on, my friend in Ancona in Italy send me over 3000 Euros and i was able to offset everything once and for all, and happiness came back. The boy in Question said if he sees her, they would have serious problems. I been the one calming him down. The one in Canada ended up marrying someone else because of her bad character.

Lately, I worked for a Switzerland company and i was able to get finances, from the money mules, i been able to cost out few cash for house rentals , and i am still working squarely to get cash and give my father for the remainder Also from there i was able to establish my startups for good, we working closely on the funding. She lost her job, and she just been at home here. When money comes, i give her and she also eats. I buy fuel for the generator and do things for the family as usual. She does not even feel free and she barely talks to me. I just let her be for the time being and focus on what I think is quite necessary and I let myself be happy no matter what. I was helping her work out admission in the UK where i was her reference, i completed the reference form and submitted it, she said because I did not upload a letter, she started to haul abuses at me again. So the letter i typed for her is what? She started to call me names like i am useless and co, I just held myself because i am expecting something from GOD so, I would not want to say anything. I went to church and knelt down to thank GOD for all. The visitor who came to the house be like "Is this what you see?" I just laughed! This happened few days ago!

Its quite Long and everyone be asking me to forgive, personally i have forgiven her, but she is very free to go, but i told myself one thing, if it would take the last drop of blood from me to make sure i give my children the best life without any of my siblings, and having anything with my kids to do with any of them, I am ready to do everything. As for her, she can go. We thank God for all.

With siblings like these, We do not need enemies. I have accepted everything, and right now, I will work hard with all It will take to go very far away from them, and I am very glad, its gradually working out. I just have to be more prayerful.

The thing i deciphered from everything is envy.I have the best job, from the job I got my own company, I travel anywhere, even if I get shakedowns , few days i am back on my feet. This is the main reason, Siblings have problems. For me, I have forgiven her, but I will never have anything to do with her again. She and the rest can go.

Are you still in the country please help my destiny, I can work for you

ednut1:
this one weak me . Chineke

Lol, u never see anything.

1Sharon:
Why though? 😅

they used to chill and hangout before. The junior sister was living alone while she was living with their parents due to covid lockdowns. So d guy came along and she couldn’t chill and hangout with her sis as before. Like wtf

yazga:
I've been hearing frequent tales on this issue between siblings and its been making me wonder how it all starts.
I love my siblings to pieces and I'm sure they feel the same way towards me so I can't really imagine why anyone would hate theirs so much they do neither see nor talk.
Some even turn their lives into competitions with their brothers/sisters.
A friend once narrated to me how her immediate elder sister treated her while they were staying together and how the sister stylishly threw her out of the house for no real reason asides petty issues.now that she's even married and her elder sister is not,they are sworn enemies!
Two of my aunt (sisters) and at war now-for petty reasons!
One of my friends doesnt know ANYTHING about his brother and they don't ever call each other for no reason!
Why oh why!

Well, I'm facing the same but caused by my mum cos of preferences and preferential treatment .

sunnymighty:
I am the only Male and the second born, gave my all when they all got my married even to their spouses and when it was my turn, they hated my wife coupled with undue interference in my marriage, the last straw was when my elder sister's friend had the gut to report my wife to my sister because they are friends, despite the fact that we are few houses apart, what effrontery! the fool is a divorcee who brings men into her own house.

This is why you need to put your foot down and stop allowing 3rd parties know about details in your marriage🥴

That african culture of controlling children's/younger siblings marraiges, doesn't sit right with me.