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Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) - Travel (986) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Travel / Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) (1192556 Views)

Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) / Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 / Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by kwakudtraveller(m): 10:03am On May 09, 2023
Lexusgs430:



- They are usually heavier on the foot
- Excessive engine vibration
- Offensive smell
- DPF clogging
- EGR values failure

I hate diesel vehicles with a passion......😭
Hehehe so it’s more arbitrary. Make I still dey survey the market because the diesel wey i see cheap pass normal petrol. Thanks bro
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by kwakudtraveller(m): 10:07am On May 09, 2023
Bourne007:
I was skeptical switching from Petrol to Diesel .. . I've now used it for almost 3 years now and haven't experienced any of these issues. AdBlue reduces the emission so no offensive smell either. You still dey beef that your Ijebu diesel car wey you dey drive back then🤣😭


My job is mostly remote. I read that diesel cars need to be driven often but na mostly only weekend I dey drive. Is this a myth or the car has to be driven for long distances often? I just don’t want to go and use my hands to buy trouble
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Zahra29: 10:14am On May 09, 2023
Thastie:
Lagosismyhome
Justwise
Zahra29
bigtt76
dustydee
mimilyrics
gergeman
rinzylee


Thank you guys for responding.

I spoke with the wife; she said she’s tired of everything and also whenever they have an issue, her husband will call her dad cos he knows she’s scared of her dad.
Also, the guy has never pushed for a reconciliation, it was always her.
She brought the guy into UK; all expenses paid by her. He was a teacher back home (30k salary).
They’ve got no kids; married for almost 2 years.

To me I feel the guy is like that because he didn’t invest in the relationship.
I’ve hands off and not telling him the advises I got from here. Whatever wants to become of him should be.

You're very welcome 😊

Thanks for the update which validates some of the assumptions that were made.

It sounds like the wife has tried her best.

Re the bolded: I don't blame you - people like him need to learn the hard way.

1 Like

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by mimilyrics: 10:15am On May 09, 2023
The guy has to pull his weight. I might be wrong but the guy seems to be using her and would eventually file for a divorce after attaining ILR. If not, he would have addressed his wife's concerns instead of readily agreeing to separate or divorce.

He's more worried about being deported than building a sustainable relationship with his wife. If he gets a sponsored job now, it seems he won't bother with the marriage which says a lot about his commitment towards the marriage and the current situation of things.

It's good though that this is happening now and not after ILR has been procured because that would make the woman feel worse and more used than she might feel now.

It is normal for a man/woman to feel frustrated when he/she has to handle things or live like he/she's single when they are not.

The lady probably expects her husband to pull his weight and the husband needs to understand where his wife is coming from and her fears, dreams and wants.

From a 30k job, he has no excuse re job search because whatever he get or saves after bills will be more than the 30k he earned in Nigeria - this is assuming that he doesn't supprot financially. He should pull his weight and apply for as many jobs as possible as a possible start point and contribute to the household financially, emotionally, physically and in any way possible.

No man/woman will be happy to bring their partner to the UK where they can work together to make their lives better and she/he acts like she/he's doing her a favour by being here.

I suspect that the woman must have forked out the cost of his application and flight to the UK and the stress of everything is getting to her. This situation can be difficult to bear with am unsupportive partner.

It's good that they don't have kids yet so no ties that will make them constantly be in each other's faces if things go south as it looks like it will.

In my opinion, the woman is making the right decision because it seems that the man bidded his time and played along just to be in the UK.

If he wants to save his marriage, it's up to him to address the issues and support his wife but if not, he should leave her to get on with her life, biko.

What you can do though is speak to your friend, encourage him to analyse the situation to evaluate his faults and what he can do better and thereafter, have a honest discussion with his wife.

This might not change anything but it might be just the push they need to sort and talk things through. It might also help the wife to accept that nothing she could have done would save the marriage and she won't have to start blaming herself for the failure of the marriage thinking that if she had triple-bent over that things might have changed.

Better a failed marriage than a frustrating marriage that leads one to murder or any form of abuse.
Thastie:
Lagosismyhome
Justwise
Zahra29
bigtt76
dustydee
mimilyrics
gergeman
rinzylee


Thank you guys for responding.

I spoke with the wife; she said she’s tired of everything and also whenever they have an issue, her husband will call her dad cos he knows she’s scared of her dad.
Also, the guy has never pushed for a reconciliation, it was always her.
She brought the guy into UK; all expenses paid by her. He was a teacher back home (30k salary).
They’ve got no kids; married for almost 2 years.

To me I feel the guy is like that because he didn’t invest in the relationship.
I’ve hands off and not telling him the advises I got from here. Whatever wants to become of him should be.

2 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Zahra29: 10:22am On May 09, 2023
mimilyrics:
The guy has to pull his weight. I might be wrong but the guy seems to be using her and would eventually file for a divorce after attaining ILR. If not, he would have addressed his wife's concerns instead of readily agreeing to separate or divorced. He's more worried about being deported than building a sustainable relationship with his wife.

💯 to everything you said

This was the red flag to me - he sounded more worried about staying in the UK than resolving their issues and staying with his wife

3 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Lexusgs430: 10:29am On May 09, 2023
Bourne007:
I was skeptical switching from Petrol to Diesel .. . I've now used it for almost 3 years now and haven't experienced any of these issues. AdBlue reduces the emission so no offensive smell either. You still dey beef that your Ijebu diesel car wey you dey drive back then🤣😭




That your diesel engine, go dey give you massage on the go .......😜😛

1 Like

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Solumtoya: 10:34am On May 09, 2023
Zahra29:


I agree, on the whole it sounds like a good opportunity especially for those already paying rents that are comparable or even higher than a mortgage.

With the current rates, many Mortgage payments are higher than rents. Typically, someone in a 2 bed flat paying £800 gets a Mortgage for 3 bed house and monthly payments jump to £1,500 or more.

If affordable, it's a good opportunity EVEN with the increased payment.

1 Like

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Solumtoya: 10:42am On May 09, 2023
Lexusgs430:



Are you saying, your 25% is £100K.........

Time to either relocate or downsize........ 😂🤣

You ancestors say this a lot grin. Houses are no longer that cheap o, and these are not London or majestic houses: just normal houses in decent Cities close to work. For one working in London, for instance, it's hard to get a house below £300k that you won't be travelling hours to work

1 Like

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Bourne007(m): 10:43am On May 09, 2023
It's mainly because of the DPF Lexus mentioned. That's why it's advisable to take longer journeys to keep your DPF clean and in good working order. If you drive am for some minutes with 40mph or more will often be sufficient to clear the blockage if any. DPF clean should be part of your regular car maintenance anyway. Also, check the car handbook for more specific instructions.

I had to research too before I made the switch and have not experienced any issues.

kwakudtraveller:

My job is mostly remote. I read that diesel cars need to be driven often but na mostly only weekend I dey drive. Is this a myth or the car has to be driven for long distances often? I just don’t want to go and use my hands to buy trouble

1 Like

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Zahra29: 10:47am On May 09, 2023
Solumtoya:


With the current rates, many Mortgage payments are higher than rents. Typically, someone in a 2 bed flat paying £800 gets a Mortgage for 3 bed house and monthly payments jump to £1,500 or more.

If affordable, it's a good opportunity EVEN with the increased payment.

In this scenario the person has upsized, hence the bigger mortgage payments

You're correct in that for higher LTVs the mortgage payment will likely now be higher than the rent for an equivalent property due to increased interest rates.

Swings and roundabouts- might be a short term hit but if it's a long game then it should pay off.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by kwakudtraveller(m): 11:12am On May 09, 2023
Bourne007:
It's mainly because of the DPF Lexus mentioned. That's why it's advisable to take longer journeys to keep your DPF clean and in good working order. If you drive am for some minutes with 40mph or more will often be sufficient to clear the blockage if any. DPF clean should be part of your regular car maintenance anyway. Also, check the car handbook for more specific instructions.

I had to research too before I made the switch and have not experienced any issues.

Thanks a lot bro. Will take what you have said into consideration.
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Honeyspeak1: 11:45am On May 09, 2023
Hello guys this thread has really being helpful so far . Pls I need help , coming in this coming week thru Turkish and heading to Reading but am hearing I have to book for cab ahead and is about £120 . Am trying to cut spending cost pls , any idea of how I can get a cab that I won’t spend up to £120 or any idea on how to navigate myself down to Reading conveniently . Pls help a New comer 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by mimilyrics: 11:55am On May 09, 2023
What's your entry port? And your destination (last stop - Post code area; no need to be exact for privacy reasons)? Have you tried the coach: https://www.nationalexpress.com/en Should cost you about £23 from Heathrow T2-3 to Reading Station from where you should be able to get a bus to your final destination.
Honeyspeak1:
Hello guys this thread has really being helpful so far . Pls I need help , coming in this coming week thru Turkish and heading to Reading but am hearing I have to book for cab ahead and is about £120 . Am trying to cut spending cost pls , any idea of how I can get a cab that I won’t spend up to £120 or any idea on how to navigate myself down to Reading conveniently . Pls help a New comer 🙏🙏🙏🙏

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by justwise(m): 12:44pm On May 09, 2023
Honeyspeak1:
Hello guys this thread has really being helpful so far . Pls I need help , coming in this coming week thru Turkish and heading to Reading but am hearing I have to book for cab ahead and is about £120 . Am trying to cut spending cost pls , any idea of how I can get a cab that I won’t spend up to £120 or any idea on how to navigate myself down to Reading conveniently . Pls help a New comer 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Book national express when you land in the UK, i think Turkish airline land at Gatwick airport, you can easily get national express coach from the airport to Reading. Don't go anywhere near a cab.

2 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Strata1716: 1:29pm On May 09, 2023
Thastie:
Lagosismyhome
Justwise
Zahra29
bigtt76
dustydee
mimilyrics
gergeman
rinzylee


Thank you guys for responding.

I spoke with the wife; she said she’s tired of everything and also whenever they have an issue, her husband will call her dad cos he knows she’s scared of her dad.
Also, the guy has never pushed for a reconciliation, it was always her.
She brought the guy into UK; all expenses paid by her. He was a teacher back home (30k salary).
They’ve got no kids; married for almost 2 years.

To me I feel the guy is like that because he didn’t invest in the relationship.
I’ve hands off and not telling him the advises I got from here. Whatever wants to become of him should be.

A man will never value a woman he doesn’t invest in.

4 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Walexwal: 1:44pm On May 09, 2023
Honeyspeak1:
Hello guys this thread has really being helpful so far . Pls I need help , coming in this coming week thru Turkish and heading to Reading but am hearing I have to book for cab ahead and is about £120 . Am trying to cut spending cost pls , any idea of how I can get a cab that I won’t spend up to £120 or any idea on how to navigate myself down to Reading conveniently . Pls help a New comer 🙏🙏🙏🙏

National Express doesn't service Reading. Take a train to Reading or take Reading RailAir. if you wish, you can link up with me for a guide and how to settle in quickly in Reading.

3 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Viruses: 1:46pm On May 09, 2023
Solumtoya:


With the current rates, many Mortgage payments are higher than rents. Typically, someone in a 2 bed flat paying £800 gets a Mortgage for 3 bed house and monthly payments jump to £1,500 or more.

If affordable, it's a good opportunity EVEN with the increased payment.
You're right, the talks of rent being (almost) the same as mortgage payment was before. Now the difference is clear.

But if it's affordable, mortgage is good.
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by LagosismyHome(f): 1:57pm On May 09, 2023
Thastie:
Lagosismyhome
Justwise
Zahra29
bigtt76
dustydee
mimilyrics
gergeman
rinzylee


Thank you guys for responding.

I spoke with the wife; she said she’s tired of everything and also whenever they have an issue, her husband will call her dad cos he knows she’s scared of her dad.
Also, the guy has never pushed for a reconciliation, it was always her.
She brought the guy into UK; all expenses paid by her. He was a teacher back home (30k salary).
They’ve got no kids; married for almost 2 years.

To me I feel the guy is like that because he didn’t invest in the relationship.
I’ve hands off and not telling him the advises I got from here. Whatever wants to become of him should be.

Many Gold digging men these days and wanting to be taken care of....me I have never been about that kind life. I ain't taking care of a lazy man smiley ... fellows sorry but it's never been my thing. In this case he might not be lazy because there are just some profession in naija and even in UK that don't pay well so salary is not a measure of laziness.

So she has to decide and do what best for her. I wish them both in the future

3 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by justwise(m): 1:58pm On May 09, 2023
Walexwal:


National Express doesn't service Reading. Take a train to Reading or take Reading RailAir. if you wish, you can link up with me for a guide and how to settle in quickly in Reading.

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by LagosismyHome(f): 2:05pm On May 09, 2023
Solumtoya:


With the current rates, many Mortgage payments are higher than rents. Typically, someone in a 2 bed flat paying £800 gets a Mortgage for 3 bed house and monthly payments jump to £1,500 or more.

If affordable, it's a good opportunity EVEN with the increased payment.

I don't agree with this statement oo especially in London. Rent is coming up higher than mortgages and rent is increasing yearly but mortage is decreasing as your loan to value is decreasing
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by LagosismyHome(f): 2:13pm On May 09, 2023
Honeyspeak1:
Hello guys this thread has really being helpful so far . Pls I need help , coming in this coming week thru Turkish and heading to Reading but am hearing I have to book for cab ahead and is about £120 . Am trying to cut spending cost pls , any idea of how I can get a cab that I won’t spend up to £120 or any idea on how to navigate myself down to Reading conveniently . Pls help a New comer 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Don't know how much luggage you have but from Heathrow to Reading with the new Elizabeth line TRAIN is pretty straightforward and fast ...

Turkish is in terminal 2... just follow below . Change in Hayes and switch to Reading . That a straight train from there .

This route is fast and easy ( when the trains works because sometimes Elizabeth line head dey touch

1 Like

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by justwise(m): 2:15pm On May 09, 2023
Thastie:
Lagosismyhome
Justwise
Zahra29
bigtt76
dustydee
mimilyrics
gergeman
rinzylee


Thank you guys for responding.

I spoke with the wife; she said she’s tired of everything and also whenever they have an issue, her husband will call her dad cos he knows she’s scared of her dad.
Also, the guy has never pushed for a reconciliation, it was always her.
She brought the guy into UK; all expenses paid by her. He was a teacher back home (30k salary).
They’ve got no kids; married for almost 2 years.

To me I feel the guy is like that because he didn’t invest in the relationship.
I’ve hands off and not telling him the advises I got from here. Whatever wants to become of him should be.

Seems like madam loves oga more than he loves her

3 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Jlaw1: 2:33pm On May 09, 2023
Thastie:
Lagosismyhome
Justwise
Zahra29
bigtt76
dustydee
mimilyrics
gergeman
rinzylee


Thank you guys for responding.

I spoke with the wife; she said she’s tired of everything and also whenever they have an issue, her husband will call her dad cos he knows she’s scared of her dad.
Also, the guy has never pushed for a reconciliation, it was always her.
She brought the guy into UK; all expenses paid by her. He was a teacher back home (30k salary).
They’ve got no kids; married for almost 2 years.

To me I feel the guy is like that because he didn’t invest in the relationship.
I’ve hands off and not telling him the advises I got from here. Whatever wants to become of him should be.

Hi, Ms Thastie.

Kindly permit me to comment on your post. It's very lengthy, but I hope it's not too boring or intellectual.

POINT 1:
Let me start by narrating a short story. A few years ago, a professor demonstrated an experiment by showing me a sketched picture of a woman on a book. He explained the physical characteristics of the picture, and from his explanation, I could clearly see with my own "koro-koro" eyes that the woman in the picture was an old person, possibly in her 70s.

He showed the very same picture to 2 other people, but described the picture to them completely differently to the way he described it to me. Surprisingly, these other 2 people looking at the very same picture said the woman in the picture was a young woman in her 20s. This started a debate between us. I argued that the woman in the picture was old and they totally disagreed, because according to them, the woman in the picture was not an old woman but a cool babe. And yet, we were staring at the SAME picture, but we were seeing different things. Unbelievable, right?

Check out the two images of two young classy ladies that I have attached below (originally from a book called "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). Can you see the two classy babes?

Now check out the two images that I attached to my next post, and then you will discover that these ladies that you thought are fresh babes are infact NOT fresh or young at all, but are OLD WOMEN with big ugly noses.

What made me see differently from the 2 other guys was simply because I was given a certain description of the picture, but those guys were given a different description of the same picture. So we saw differently and reached different conclusions. In reality, the picture could be viewed as depicting an old woman or a fresh babe, depending on the type of description you may have heard from the professor, which may in turn shape your perspective.

The point I'm trying to make here is that judging the situation solely from what the wife told you may paint an incomplete picture. As the old cliché goes: there are at least two sides to every story. Also hearing events from the husband's sides may paint a more balanced picture of the true reality of things.

POINT 2:
I want to assume that you sought permission from your friend before posting about her marriage on Nairaland. In my opinion, it will be wrong not to seek her consent before sharing. So I will assume that you did the right thing by getting her green light, before tabling the matter here.

Having said this, I feel like you did not present the issue in good faith. It appears to me that your biggest motive is to bring "gist" here and to disparage her husband, rather than to genuinely help your friend. I may be judging you wrongly and I am open to correction. But at this moment, this is how I feel after reading a couple of your comments about the issue.

Fair enough, this platform is largely anonymous. Nevertheless, I believe that we should exercise some degree of caution, empathy and restraint when sharing our friends' private/personal/intimate/matrimonial struggles on a public forum. Again, it is possible that I may be wrong in my criticism of you, dear Ms Thastie, and you can correct me if you believe that I've judged your intentions wrongly.

Cheers.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Jlaw1: 2:34pm On May 09, 2023
Check out the two attached images, and see the two very old women.

Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by giselle237: 2:37pm On May 09, 2023
Walexwal:
National Express doesn't service Reading. Take a train to Reading or take Reading RailAir. if you wish, you can link up with me for a guide and how to settle in quickly in Reading.
who said it doesn’t service Reading?? Where is your source?
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Honeyspeak1: 3:10pm On May 09, 2023
justwise:


Book national express when you land in the UK, i think Turkish airline land at Gatwick airport, you can easily get national express coach from the airport to Reading. Don't go anywhere near a cab.
thanks so much thou my flight lands in
Heathrow . Can I also book national express when I land in Heathrow 🙏
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Walexwal: 3:14pm On May 09, 2023
giselle237:
who said it doesn’t service Reading?? Where is your source?

Well, I am my source. I am based in Reading and National Express doesn't reach here. Look at the picture posted by Justwise, it has a change. The person will have to change from National Express to Reading RailAir at LHR. Moreover, I thought the person was coming directly from LHR.
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Walexwal: 3:17pm On May 09, 2023
justwise:



The person will still need to change at LHR onto a Reading RailAir. So, I still maintain that National Express does not get to Reading station. They may get to Meteo Park and ride though.
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Honeyspeak1: 3:21pm On May 09, 2023
LagosismyHome:


Don't know how much luggage you have but from Heathrow to Reading with the new Elizabeth line TRAIN is pretty straightforward and fast ...

Turkish is in terminal 2... just follow below . Change in Hayes and switch to Reading . That a straight train from there .

This route is fast and easy ( when the trains works because sometimes Elizabeth line head dey touch
This sounds straight forward but I won’t get lost lol
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Honeyspeak1: 3:22pm On May 09, 2023
LagosismyHome:


Don't know how much luggage you have but from Heathrow to Reading with the new Elizabeth line TRAIN is pretty straightforward and fast ...

Turkish is in terminal 2... just follow below . Change in Hayes and switch to Reading . That a straight train from there .

This route is fast and easy ( when the trains works because sometimes Elizabeth line head dey touch




Coming with two 23kg and a back pack thou
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Honeyspeak1: 3:26pm On May 09, 2023
Walexwal:


Well, I am my source. I am based in Reading and National Express doesn't reach here. Look at the picture posted by Justwise, it has a change. The person will have to change from National Express to Reading RailAir at LHR. Moreover, I thought the person was coming directly from LHR.
Now am confused oh . Am landing Heathrow which is LHR
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by justwise(m): 3:28pm On May 09, 2023
Honeyspeak1:
thanks so much thou my flight lands in
Heathrow . Can I also book national express when I land in Heathrow 🙏


Sure you can, approach customer service and speak them, you will be able to buy ticket from them

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