₦airaland Forum

CR777:
How can I contact you please?
Can you drop your number so I can call?

Hi, how may I help you?

Stevenbright:
You guys should support him to get the license and in getting a vehicle to start driving.

It is even preferable if you guys to the line of getting a Keke nappep because it is more profitable and easy to maintain and may not strictly require a license since he will not be plying major roads.

He just need to drive responsibly and carefully and stay away from drugs and alcohol.

you have a good point. Getting him a small bus would have been better for him but i don't think Op family has the power. Op work in pure water factory as a graduate while his 38 years old brother is out of job. I'm sure they would have done that since if it's something they can afford.

VTJN:
you have a good point. Getting him a small bus would have been better for him but i don't think Op family has the power. Op work in pure water factory as a graduate while his 38 years old brother is out of job. I'm sure they would have done that since if it's something they can afford.

They can help look out for and talk to people who either have Keke nappep they can give out on agreement to him or someone who can buy and give it to him on agreement to work with.

That's why we need to introduce child support law in Nigeria similar to that of U.S.

It prevents unnecessary life time suffering of innocent souls just because of someone's 5mins of enjoyment.

You did the right thing talking to him.

Stevenbright:
They can help look out for and talk to people who either have Keke nappep they can give out on agreement to him or someone who can buy and give it to him on agreement to work with.

I believe Op would have done that if there was someone anywhere to help get him a bus. Someone who can be supporting his eldest brother from his little pay. I doubt there's anyone within their circle that can afford that and they wouldn't have gone to seek for help. The only mistake i noticed the elder brother made was not going to school or have an handwork. It's a little bit easier to help someone get a better job like Op. It's easier to support someone who already has a skill or handwork. It only take the grace of God for someone who lack both. It is well.

That guy is depressed and might lead to something else if things continue like this

chatinent:
Hi, how may I help you?

It's about the advice you gave to the op.

I'm interested in something you said there.

If you're not comfortable giving out your phone number then perhaps your email would be okay.

DownTime44:
Hi guys

He was crying when i was talking to him.

Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

For a grown man of 38 years to be crying when u were talking to him means u must have said some unpleasant things u couldn't say here. I will only advice u to be constructive on how you talk to him. Firstly he is your elder brother, don't allow your mother use you to disrespect him in very embarrassing manner, mothers are fond of doing this. This life no be one way oh, things can turn around, but don't speak out words that will not leave his heart for life. Advice him, but be constructive. If there is a way to help him, by getting him to learn driving, do it. You can pay for it & get him to learn it. I will also suggest u call him to apologize, tell him not to take whatever u said to heart, u only want the best for the him & d family. But don't say hurtful things when speaking to him next time

DownTime44:
my parents didn't send any child to school. I was responsible for my university education not my parents.

We hawk so we could survive. What would you have suggested we do? Do you expect my mum to be fighting her husband every day because he couldn't provide for the family?

We aren't happy we found ourselves in such conditions.

I am not blaming you, rather your parents. It's your parents responsibility to make sure you get the best life has to offer.

Your mother shouldn't have even married your father in the first place if he was incapable of taking care of his kids.

Like I said, it's their fault and not yours. I am sure if given a choice you wouldn't have allowed them to birth you.

That's life.

DownTime44:
please what would you have suggest my mum do? I will tell her if you can suggest what step she should take. I'm not happy with my brother condition bro. I am also struggling though, but his condition gives me headache and make me sad.

Your brother is confused & depressed
You & your mum need to be careful on how u handle this so u people don't push him into sth else. He needs help. See how u people can get him to learn driving.

Downtown44, as long as you talked to your elder brother respectfully, you did nothing wrong. (You seem like a respectful person who cares so much about his brother)
He probably cried because he had/has so much bottled up inside.
He shouldn't lose hope though.
It is not too late to make something of himself.

During his years of working as a conductor, did he learn how to drive?
He should learn how to drive, if he didn't.
I mean, why settle to be a conductor, when you can be a driver?
Once he knows how to drive, I believe he can easily get a job as a driver (or a vehicle he can drive and deliver, as long as he's trustworthy)
Drivers hardly lack jobs, especially when you know how to easily navigate through Lagos roads.
So, driving is his best bet now to stand on his own.

Tell your brother everything is going to be alright.
Hope is not lost.

I will read this later. I can't come and kill myself this hot afternoon.

It's hard.... you weren't wrong.

You did it out of love.

VTJN:
apologise how? Op didn't wrong him in anyway. The tears was probably the reflection of his life. Why apologise to someone you never offended? Do you want Op and others to pamper him at that age? Maybe i didn't go through the page well. I don't see need for any apology

There is need for apology
Op must have said hurtful things out of emotion to bring out those tears. That is why the op conscience is judging him, read his post. We are talking about a 38 years old man. The op should apologize & tell him not to take what he said to heart.

See my own advice is that he should look for rope ....the rest is left for him to decide how to use the rope...shikena

Olarewaju89:
Being the first born and first son in a poor family like this is a serious issue. Don't blame your brother too much pls. It is a spiritual things and he need a deliverance and serious councils.

To be honest with you, your mother has a lot to do in this matter not you.

I won't go further than this.

African and their superstitious mentality..
Poverty done twist Una head sotey every thing na Witches and Wizards..

Ok

Hmmm

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

First of all, God bless you. You will make it. At 29 with a 2.1, you need not worry bro. Everyone lies on their CV. Reduce your age to fit in the requirement.
About your bro, hmmm. Just keep praying for him, ask him what he will like to do apart from the conductor thing, if it's something reasonable, encourage him to start.

I know someone that started pure water business, he hawks it, after 2yrs he now does supply of bottleed water and soft drinks with a dyna truck he purchased from his hustle. Whatever he chooses to do, with passion, he will make it.

Cheers.

There is a way that your brother can take. As a conductor he should know how to drive. If he does, he should take a bus for himself and make delivery daily this will help him to know the business side of transportation. After which he should go for higher purchase and be diligent. This is one route that can make him plane for the future

GodWrites:
I am not blaming you, rather your parents. It's your parents responsibility to make sure you get the best life has to offer.

Your mother shouldn't have even married your father in the first place if he was incapable of taking care of his kids.

Like I said, it's their fault and not yours. I am sure if given a choice you wouldn't have allowed them to birth you.

That's life.

interesting

I thought guys adore, worship and respect women who married struggling guys. I thought that's what some guys want. A woman who will start from a single room with them

Op mother is one of the numerous women out there who chose LOVE above every other thing. She stood with her man through thick and thin. She gave birth to kids. She was submissive as some guys want. She hawked with her children. I'm sure she never hawked while she was single. That is what marriage has done to an average Nigerian women. Marriage took most average Nigerian women backwards in life

Please what has the so called marriage benefited her? What was her benefits chosing love over every other things? What was her achievements being a submissive and respectful woman?

Her only achievements was to give birth to children suffering even in their late 30s to 40. Look at where her virtuous woman landed her into.

So pathetic

sunnymighty:
I understand how you feel about it all, it's for the greater good, call him again, apologize to him and make him see reasons and not feel insulted. The lord will see your family through, times are hard.

seems your screen was upside-down when you were reading. Apology for what exactly?

GodWrites:
Your parents are to be blamed.

They couldn't even take care of themselves, yet they went ahead to breed kids they can't take care of.

If your elder brother has been given the opportunities, such as basic education, he wouldn't find himself in this condition.

Hawking is nothing but child abuse.

4Q

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

Poverty is a mentality. Let him go into farming. Try and rent a small land in nearby village and take him there and do some farming, cassava, maize water melon and Egusi.

You will only suffer for a season and the rest will be history. Process the cassava into Gari and bring them to the city to sell. You can start cassava processing before farming. Just buy cassava from the villagers and get the women to fry for you. Bag properly and take to the city. With 5 trips, you have multiply your initial investment by 10 no capping.

Or visit nearby village and see what they have in excess. You can only know by going to their market. Visit during market days and see what they have in abundance that’s needed in the city. Determine to buy some and deliver to the city… there will be obstacles but be determine to scale through and you will be making money.

“Anybody can make money” but to keep making money is the key to success.

You don’t write like the brother of a bus conductor.

Yampotatocarrot:
I don't think you did anything wrong... Would you have sugarcoated your words before? He's a 38years old adult

The only issue I have with him is his idleness... There are a lot of hustles out there, if worse comes to worse, let him join Union and start doing delivery for NURTW ... Atleast he'll be getting something everyday, make he no spend am on Chelsea and olosho o

Where there's life, there's hope... He might have been depressed, but let him not give up, let him keep pushing

It's better to remain idle than to do that. 🙄

GodWrites:
Your parents are to be blamed.

They couldn't even take care of themselves, yet they went ahead to breed kids they can't take care of.

If your elder brother has been given the opportunities, such as basic education, he wouldn't find himself in this condition.

Hawking is nothing but child abuse.

I blame the parents completely for ruining his elder brothers life.

He's very laid-back and unambitious.

The transport business he's into is a goldmine. Let him try and get a vehicle and drive.

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

You did well engaging in a deep discussion with him but am sure the person you are discussing doesn't have a struggling spirit like you that's why it has been the way you saw him

You are still finding your bearing and you are doing really well to be able to see yourself through despite the hardship and struggles all of you went through

As for your brother, the only thing he can do is driving which is ok
So he has to go around to look for people who wants private driver or if possible dispatch riders

That he doesn't believe in Nigeria education wasn't what made him not to go to school and from the look of things, even if the money is there, he will not be interested in going to school

To me is best he stays in that house and hustle than to go and join bad gangs that will make him sleep out and become something else that will terrorise the entire family

Dont let his situation quench your zeal to achieve success in life

Keep your struggles on ans one day it will pay you and your family will benefit

Olarewaju89:
Being the first born and first son in a poor family like this is a serious issue. Don't blame your brother too much pls. It is a spiritual things and he need a deliverance and serious councils.

To be honest with you, your mother has a lot to do in this matter not you.

I won't go further than this.

shut the Bleep up rubbish

VTJN:
if you carefully read you will realise OP himself need help. He's working in pure water factory. Pure water factory that hardly pay 25k

Op was just unfortunate to come from a poor family. He's a good brother to that his eldest bro. He can't help him because Op himself need help. He was only showing concern to his brother predicament

There’s no need to have a heart2heart talk to someone when you can’t help😞
Why bother the your brother if you can’t help him yourself, unluckily for him, age is against him, his IQ is low, he’s got zero willpower
Best thing to do is🤔
Recommend him as a security guard to somewhere even your factory OR you package him, give him orientation, take him to church, one of those choir sisters will fall in love, you help him do confirm love potion juju as backup, his story will change 🙃
Or
Quietly poison him, he dies, your mom is healthy, less burden on your shoulder
otherwise let him have peace of mind 🥺Life hard💔💔