₦airaland Forum

valentineuwakwe:
I understand u well we also grew up in Ajegunle (lawani street)....you were not wrong to talk to him and by now he should be able to scold self and rise up again as a man.
You are ambitious and hardworking which is good for you...but pray more always.
Send me your acct details, perhaps i can send something for him as well as money to get a phone for your mum..
Every thing wil be alright soon....keep faith n don't ever give up!

Thank you so much sir. Mine was Idewu street, Ajegunle.

0048307786 Stambic ibtc
Anthonia Johnson

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.



I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

I feel his condition might be psychological. I experienced same with an elder brother, infact we had to send him abroad. Since 2009, he hadly communicates and still unmarried at almost 50years old.
Continue to advice him, cos it's a tough world everywhere. You just have to keep competing to stay alive and okay.

udeh3:
Well, I work in an MEP firm as an Engineer. You can contact me for more discussion. He can learn plumbing or Electrical skills. For me, I'll suggest he try Electrical due to his age and lucrative aspect of the job. He can get some stipends during his learning periods

I'm a senior child and son too almost from same background as yours. So, I understand his position and feelings. He needs more encouragement and support, especially mentally

Drop a mail via NL

He will forever be grateful for this sir. I sent you a mail sir.

Thank you so much

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

What did you study in school?
Make we start from there

DownTime44:
0048307786 Johnson Anthonia, Stambic ibtc

God bless you sir.

Are you a female?

Fame1309:
Are you a kid?all your comments are just childish, don't worry when you get older you will understand life better.

That's life.

Look at this retired

Ofadaman:
As someone who came from a humble beginning just as yourself, I also had to go to farm after secondary school , it was the garri made from cassava farming (on someone land in a deep swamp), and vegetables and stockfish I sold that I used to finance my education to waec, after school I started computer graphics and used it to work in mini cyber cafe to pay university education you till now, I'm out of school and earning well even though not fully there,I've been able to pay for my siblings education from secondary school down to university level for all three of my siblings and elders.

I'd tell you the truth, if you'd listen,
Family can be a set back, and if you allow them hold you back they'd drag you and keep you stagnant for years, you have to focus to take your head out of water first then take them along, (not abandon them ,but give yourself priority first), because even if you don't support them, they'd find a way to thrive, and if you reck yourself trying to pull them when they aren't willing to move, you'd carry on emotional baggage that may never be appreciated , help them but first help yourself, only when you have succeeded that you can pull others up

wish I could like this comments 1billion times

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

Your brother needs to be drag or push. You have to take him along to where he will get work. Talking to him isn't enough, he needs serious dragging

KonTagiousBull:
I almost cried when I was reading this..I had to stop.God will definitely see you through and bless you with something to help your family.


You did the right thing by talking to your brother...God has given you to power and mantle to lead the lead the family in a way ..take it up and go ahead but don't use it in such a way that you belittle your brother.

Joseph was the smallest.......

Amen.

Thank you so much sir for your words.

DownTime44:
Seriously I'm tired myself. He was sick recently that i had to empty my little savings for his treatment. You needed to see him physical. I bought him blood tonic and provisions. Things i can't even get for myself. He literally made me forgot myself because of his condition.

Whenever i remember having a brother like that, tears flow from my eyes.

He's definitely depressed.

Take him to a govt hospital to proper diagnosis.

GodWrites:
Your parents are to be blamed.

They couldn't even take care of themselves, yet they went ahead to breed kids they can't take care of.

If your elder brother has been given the opportunities, such as basic education, he wouldn't find himself in this condition.

Hawking is nothing but child abuse.

You are the first person to make sense here

How can you breed children in poverty and you expect them to suddenly breakout from that poverty miraculously.

It is a known fact that only about 5% born into poverty are able to breakout. 3.5% will break out using hook or crook like doing fraud, drugs or joining politics to embezzle public funds, the other 1.5% will break out by hardwork, determination and God’s grace. What then happens to the 95% born into poor homes.

Even the op had to waste time working to save money to go to school which should not be so, now he is too old for some particular job entry. Someone opened a thread here and they said they are saving a particular sum of money monthly for their children so when they clock 18 they have access to the money for their education or to chase their dream.

Irresponsible parents breed irresponsible children, successful and hardworking parents instill that discipline to also be successful and hardworking in their children.

I can’t have kids until I know I’m wealthy. I can’t bring children into this world to come and serve children of wealthy people as a gateman, servant, or waiter or doorman and somewhere in his heart he’s blaming and cursing me for bringing him into this world to suffer. Never

RemoveKebab:
That's why we need to introduce child support law in Nigeria similar to that of U.S.

It prevents unnecessary life time suffering of innocent souls just because of someone's 5mins of enjoyment.

How would child support help them in this case?

mariahAngel:
Are you a female?

No, male.

jclassiq:
He's definitely depressed.

Take him to a govt hospital to proper diagnosis.

Yes I've done that. We went to government hospital at Igando last month. There was no doctor to attend to him. They keep postponing his appointment. Not only him though

He was even asking for private hospital and i was just looking at him like a fool. I'm really tired seriously

DownTime44:
He will forever be grateful for this sir. I sent you a mail sir.

Thank you so much

Acknowledged sir

phemmyfour:
Your brother needs to be drag or push. You have to take him along to where he will get work. Talking to him isn't enough, he needs serious dragging

when some are saying i shouldn't have made him cry when i did not touch him. Some even asked me to apologise to him

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

You know that he is helpless already,so what's the point asking him to look for something else to do,rather you all should be thinking of how or what can we get for our elder brother to pull him out of shambles so that he can help himself n the family tomorrow,or is it a taboo for you the younger ones to prop him up?, talking to him the way you did even though well intentioned would only bring back bitter memories to him n make him depressed.

mariahAngel:
Do you know what it requires to be an Uber driver?
It's not as easy as you state it o.
It's not even as if Uber as a company have cars to lease out to whoever is willing.

I know.

Those that drive Uber don't have two head.
He should talk to someone who will talk to someone and someone.

But getting to drive private car is much easier because there are agencies that link drivers to the car owners.

Nobody should stay idle without doing anything. That is too bad.

That guy is your blood brother, it is your responsibility and your family's responsibility to set him up so he can become someone responsible in life.
As i am typing, tears is coming out from my eyes, i really feel for him.
Just imagine that after u finished talking to him , he went inside n committed suicide

T

Ten06:
Advising your brother and made him cry as a result of the advise is good for him.
You have succeeded in making him realized his failure which is good.

Your brother is strong but he is just mentality lazy, he doesn't think of growing materially.

Most of us grew up like this, but took the challenge at a certain time to do something to make us become somebody in life.

Immediately I finished my secondary school I was chased out of my father's house because my mother doesn't like me (the reason was best know to her) and finally was able to convince my dad to push me out of his house.

Immediately I left my family house I started cutting hair in a barber's shop despite the fact that I was very good with hair cut and people were queuing for me to cut their hair, I was able to know that the pay won't take me anywhere. I left and started hustling with bike from there started driving taxi. After taxi I started driving trucks and trailers.

With time, I went bank to school and got my first and second degree in information technology.

Today I work in one of the Federal Government Agencies in Nigeria here.

My mom later apologized after my father's death and we settled our differences and I forgave her.

What led to the settlement was that, she didn't set eyes on me for a very long time because I left my state to another state to pursue a better life.

But just before my father's death, my father sent for me and stylish apologies for not supporting me in my life but encourage me to pursue my life with vigor that he has retired and won't be able to do anything for me in life anymore. But my mom wasn't aware of the settlement between me and my dad.

So, some months before my dad's death I was sending him money for hospital bill from the state I resides. And the day before he died he called me on phone and prayed for me seriously and encourage me to face life with courage.

When I got to my state for my father's burial my mom and my siblings were expecting me to come like a barber but they saw a different person.

During the burial there were so much argument because of money but immediately it come to my notice I will just bring out money to sort out the issues. My family became dumbfounded.
So, some few days after the burial my mum summon me from the hotel I put up and gathered my siblings and they all apologized for the bad things they did to me, but I stopped them from going to details and I forgave them and we drank together.

I forgave them because, as a result of my problem I became a serious Christian and I knew that I need to forgive to attract the remaining blessings

My brother, your brother has to push himself to become somebody. Those year he spent do conductor is enough for him to become the driver of a bus or even learn a trade.

You are doing well. Keep on advising him

Thank you sir. Your story is inspiring.

Deepthoughts:
You know that he is helpless already,so what's the point asking him to look for something else to do,rather you all should be thinking of how or what can we get for our elder brother to pull him out of shambles so that he can help himself n the family tomorrow,or is it a taboo for you the younger ones to prop him up?, talking to him the way you did even though well intentioned would only bring back bitter memories to him n make him depressed.

He knows i don't have money to give to him. I can't go beyond my reach. I have given him series of advice. I have talked to him several times. If i have the money, I'd have set a business up for him. Some people are even telling me to leave him and focus on my life.

Olarewaju89:
Being the first born and first son in a poor family like this is a serious issue. Don't blame your brother too much pls. It is a spiritual things and he need a deliverance and serious councils.

To be honest with you, your mother has a lot to do in this matter not you.

I won't go further than this.

Most people don't belief it but first born sons that opens the womb face alot of battles and difficulties in life. Like you said it is worst if they are born into a poor family.

He just need prayer. Pray for him to get his destiny back from destiny killer. He supposed to be the bread winner of the family but the power that be turned things against him. God will deliver him IJN.

mariahAngel:
It's better to remain idle than to do that. 🙄

Lol

Nigerians are funny. Because they know you are broke and almost useless. They will be suggesting useless things for you to do. Things they themselves or any member of their family can not do

RemoveKebab:
That's why we need to introduce child support law in Nigeria similar to that of U.S.

It prevents unnecessary life time suffering of innocent souls just because of someone's 5mins of enjoyment.

Honestly because of 5 minutes knocking. You create an offspring that will suffer for 60+X years lol

Especially this poor people.

When people give birth I tell them congratulations and find something to give them but anything child after the third one. I won’t congratulate you or come to any naming especially if you are an average or poor citizen.

Only a stupid person will birth more than 3 children in this current 21st century. This is 2023 and not 1823 for COL

theophorus:
DownTime44

Please call him and tell him you are sorry and please if you don't mind, please Pray.

This Life ehn, when you don't have anyone to help you, he go be like say you no sabi anything.

There are things have been through that I don't tell anyone cos it's seems more like lying to them.

Bro, just keep praying and pushing, one day things will fall in line.

Well Done Bro.

Thank you so much sir. I will do exactly as you said.

Olarewaju89:
You can't do anything bro except you keep on praying for him and also assist him financially if you have. (not under must pls)

For your mother, Humm... She knows better than you and i in this matter. Sit her down and tell her to something concern your brother.

💯

chatinent:
.


And if you are consistent, you and him could be earning some ₦50k to ₦200k monthly as a beginner.

Hmm hmm. Just dey sugarcoat for OP.

50-200k evrymonth for where?

Hey its not his fault. Am in a similar situation and a graduate with no good job and living in my father's house.
But am land lord as my father stays in his other house, I teach at my mom school and am for music just to survive.
talking to him wasn't bad but remember that we guys of his age are the ones that lost out since advertised of Jonathan till date. and any help to him is not wasted.
again the curse of the family manifest only on the first born son so he will need prayers.
Since he is in Lagos, he need to get a keke and go drive it in island. and from there move into uber. Am saying this since his already into transportation. There are many small cooperative that give keke on hire purchase.
Greet him and tell him we plenty for him situation.

Yes you were wrong in your approach. The guy is your father, you are not seeing the little thing he does even with his little conductor hassling. you should not have reminded him of the past advice. you are a graduate and educated always use your emotional intelligence else you will continue to fight with your conscience.

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

Just normal curses of the first son.
He would be fine.
He should be a pastor.

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

Rubbiish:
For a grown man of 38 years to be crying when u were talking to him means u must have said some unpleasant things u couldn't say here. I will only advice u to be constructive on how you talk to him. Firstly he is your elder brother, don't allow your mother use you to disrespect him in very embarrassing manner, mothers are fond of doing this. This life no be one way oh, things can turn around, but don't speak out words that will not leave his heart for life. Advice him, but be constructive. If there is a way to help him, by getting him to learn driving, do it. You can pay for it & get him to learn it. I will also suggest u call him to apologize, tell him not to take whatever u said to heart, u only want the best for the him & d family. But don't say hurtful things when speaking to him next time

You are wise. Op said so many demoralizing things to his brother that he didn’t type here. Even the ones he typed here is enough for someone down already to cry.

And what you said about his mother using him to disrespect his brother. I have experienced it first hand and my younger brother had the audacity to throw a punch on me that I started bleeding. Well I placed a curse on him and I haven’t lifted it