₦airaland Forum

placeofallure:
I'm weeping profusely as I read your story. I have a couple of people around me too who are like your brother. The thing is when we fold our arms and think there is time, you sneeze or blink and you find out that time has siiiiince left you behind. You did no wrong by calling him. If you don't talk to him, who will? You should have had this conversation with him years back. Now age is not his friend, what work or craft will he learn now? If there's capital he can go into business. Something that he has passion for. Passion pushes one at times to do the extra ordinary. May God come through for you. Ways will open for you and you will excel by His grace.

Amen

Thank you so much.

Gokoyer0:
I just want you to know that there are some people that will never listen until that age is no more thier friends.

Hmmmn! Really it's sad. I understand OP's pain and concern. Nobody wants his relative to be unfortunate in life.

Kobojunkie:
You see, Scripture states that God does not answer the prayers of the unrighteous; the pleas and requests and every petition, praise, offering, work, plea, sacrifice, etc., of the unrighteous are tainted by their sins(disobedience/unholiness) and are hence an abomination to God. So, what is definite is that even your many pleas for the forgiveness of sins are not answered by God given that God made no special exemptions for that kind of plea. No amount of praying can cause God to change His mind regarding that which concerns the unrighteous by the way. So if you are thinking of prescribing more prayers that only means you really don't understand or know God at all. undecided

God, however, openly bragged about how He only answers the prayers of the righteous; He delights in granting them the desires of their heart meaning that they are those who are loved by Him. For this very reason, Jesus Christ urged His followers to seek first the Kingdom of God and God's Righteousness in order that all things— the blessings and rewards of the Kingdom of God(holiness), answers to prayers included—shall be added on to them. And as Jesus Christ explained in His Gospel, the only way to become Holy, and then also Righteous, is by way of continuous submission and obedience to the teachings and commandments of Jesus Christ, god's Truth and Law in the Kingdom of god - John 8 vs 31 - 36 & John 14 vs 15 - 23. Jesus Christ is the only way. Obedience to the Truth of God is the one and only path to righteousness. No amount of praying and other religious rituals can accomplish that.

God deals indirectly with the unrighteous, the same way He deals with the unbelievers including the wicked and the ungrateful and that is by pouring out His mercy and kindness on them daily. So every time as an unrighteous you feel that God has answered your prayer know that at that same moment, or moments before that, God also provided the same mercy or similar to someone else across the world — or maybe just across from you— who does not even believe in God, nor asked God for anything. So, if answers from God are what you seek, then do what Jesus Christ said you should, which is to seek first the Kingdom of God(holiness), and then God's righteousness, in order that all these things —the blessings and rewards of the Kingdom of God(including answers to prayers) can be added to you.

So, going around, telling people in their unrighteous bloom to pray for this and that as part of the solution to their real-life problem amounts to prescribing they add more stress and meaninglessness to their already stress-filled situation. If you ask me, it is a very wicked thing to do.

Are you saying prayer is bad? Thats what every sinner or unrighteous person should do always...pray for God's mercy and grace....
Am a sinner o but God grace n mercy has brought me this far...and i will keep on praying and he will keeping having mercy on me to hear my prayers and those of others!

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

Firstborn is still firstborn, whatever you have accomplished in this life don't ever use it as a yardstick to compare others
If you did belittled your senior brother during the the discussion go and apologize to him, you are in that family for a reason and only GOD knows why
You will succeed

Flame77:
Bro I've been following your comments on this thread and I completely understand where you are coming from because as a first born myself, I've been there and I'm still to an extent but thank God I met Jesus. They won't understand. They don't know about the spell of Esau and the course of Reuben. They don't know there are battles that confront first Borns especially those born into poverty. Spiritual things are spiritually discerned by those with spiritual insights. If the mother is not a woman of the spirit, there's nothing she can do because you can't give what you don't have. That elder bro is in mental bondage and mentally stranded. He could even be battling a hidden destructive addiction too. I cried reading his post because it kind of mirrored my story and that of my family. That family needs help asap. Please Lord send help to them.

Hello bro, good evening. Please could you chat message me on Whatsapp please.

08148680882.

Thanks and God bless

RenegadeX:
Lol

Nigerians are funny. Because they know you are broke and almost useless. They will be suggesting useless things for you to do. Things they themselves or any member of their family can not do

You sef read how the guy decorated the agbero work, and put a ribbon 🎀 on it, abi?

DownTime44:
Thank you so much sir. Mine was Idewu street, Ajegunle.

0048307786 Stambic ibtc
Anthonia Johnson

I have sent something....manage for now..more will be sent later

Algold:
Do you hear yourself... You are so heartless... Quietly poison human you can't make...may God have mercy on your soul

Shun bro,😎 my soul Dey alright
Na my body you for pray for
On kolos Don give you idea, it’s better to go choose the right alternative
Be ye not only a hearer but a doer of the word which I speak unto thee
Shalom

Your story is heart melting and I really feel for your elder brother.

He understands his condition and it hurts him deeply to be in it.

This shows there's light at the end of the tunnel and all hope is not lost.

Does he have a skill like bus driving, keke driving, mechanic, plumbing etc.

What's your location?

If he doesn't have a skill, advice him to learn one.

Create a thread again after he does get at least one skill and tag me.

I may be able to contribute to his start up if I continue to feel the way I currently feel about your story.

Scammers don really do bad to some of us for this place.

mariahAngel:
You sef read how the guy decorated the agbero work, and put a ribbon 🎀 on it, abi?

You don let me laugh get hiccup

No be small decoration. Even me I started imagining myself in the uniform jumping on yellow buses and dragging money from conductors hand shouting owo mi da

Itstemi10:
I have a job for him, get in touch please

I sent you a mail sir. Thank you so much.

RenegadeX:
You don let me laugh get hiccup

No be small decoration. Even me I started imagining myself in the uniform jumping on yellow buses and dragging money from conductors hand shouting owo mi da

Hahahahahahahahaha

DownTime44:
Hi guys


Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.


I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.


Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family


I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.


The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.


He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.


Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

I am from the east and I base there but I will be in Lagos next, precisely Gbagada. If he's willing I can teach him Biodigester soakaway system Job. And I'm sure it won't take him time to learn and two months is enough for him to be earning at least 100k a month, if he can put to practice what he learnt. You can email me on integritybiofil@gmail.com

Sukkyy2010:
if you know you can vouch for your brother integrity then I have an offer for your brother.

Yes i can. I can vouch for him sir.

valentineuwakwe:
■ Are you saying prayer is bad? Thats what every sinner or unrighteous person should do always...pray for God's mercy and grace....
■ Am a sinner o but God grace n mercy has brought me this far...and i will keep on praying and he will keeping having mercy on me to hear my prayers and those of others!

1. Praying while unrighteous should be done strictly for the purpose of obedience to God's commandment that we pray — since such an abomination does not reach God at all — and not in order to have immediate problems solved. Of course, if your prayers are meant for the sake of obedience, you ought also to be actively seeking first the Kingdom of God(Holiness) and God's righteousness, or it would also be in vain if your intention is instead to remain in the state of unrighteousness.

2. Look, you are unrighteous means your praises, offerings, and prayers are an abomination(unholy) to God and as such do not reach God. If you are unable to grasp the meaning of that, then I suggest you read my response several times over so what God in fact says sinks in properly into your head. The same mercy God gives you is the same mercy God gives to the Taliban, Boko Haram, etc., every single day. God does not deal directly with the unrighteous in much the same way that He does not deal directly with unbelievers. If you can grasp this, you will be well on your way to realizing what God in fact says as opposed to the many lies you continue to hold on to.

Kobojunkie:
You first with your deluded lies that you spread to enslave others with.

See this wanna be fraudster posing as a pastor!

valentineuwakwe:
Are you saying prayer is bad? Thats what every sinner or unrighteous person should do always...pray for God's mercy and grace....
Am a sinner o but God grace n mercy has brought me this far...and i will keep on praying and he will keeping having mercy on me to hear my prayers and those of others!

Don't mind the fool

kacheezy:
You don’t write like the brother of a bus conductor.

Did you read at all?

lomprico:
■ See this wanna be fraudster posing as a pastor!

I am not even a Christian nor do I subscribe to the religion of Christianity which has its very foundation in the lies and delusions of men so how could I be confused with one of your mogs and pastors — the main con men— who fill your minds and lives with lies that have nothing to do with God or His Truth?

.

lomprico:
■ Don't mind the fool

Indeed ! God's Truth is foolishness(and wickedness) to those whose minds and hearts are filled instead with lies.

I'm sure if your brother could get his hands and a bus that he owns or the family could get together and buy him a bus, he will be alright

Akwamkpuruamu:
I am from the east and I base there but I will be in Lagos next, precisely Gbagada. If he's willing I can teach him Biodigester soakaway system Job. And I'm sure it won't take him time to learn and two months is enough for him to be earning at least 100k a month, if he can put to practice what he learnt. You can email me on integritybiofil@gmail.com

Thank you so much sir. God bless you for doing this.

DownTime44

This is similar to what I am passing through.

DownTime44:
Yes I've done that. We went to government hospital at Igando last month. There was no doctor to attend to him. They keep postponing his appointment. Not only him though

He was even asking for private hospital and i was just looking at him like a fool. I'm really tired seriously

Lol. He doesn't need a private hospital. That's very expensive.

He will get the right help in that general hospital at igando. Or you can try isolo or ikeja

You weren't wrong talking to him and from what i could deduct from what you wrote, you weren't insulting either but thing is it's not easy for anyone out there, even for those who we think have it all. Thank God for your spirit and grace but that you were able to figure it out, a way towards your future doesn't mean everyone does. It's not easy. He might be struggling with depression too as he also thinks and sees the reality you presented him hence a need for kind words of encouragement and assistance where need be to get on his feet and fly, all hope isn't lost for him even though i bet he feel lost but he needs y'all help.

RenegadeX:
You are wise. Op said so many demoralizing things to his brother that he didn’t type here. Even the ones he typed here is enough for someone down already to cry.

And what you said about his mother using him to disrespect his brother. I have experienced it first hand and my younger brother had the audacity to throw a punch on me that I started bleeding. Well I placed a curse on him and I haven’t lifted it

Please lift it oh, no matter what he is still your brother & cursing will not do the family any good. A lot of mothers do this, once they see a younger brother doing well than the elder one, they start manipulating him to start disrespecting the elder one & if the younger bro is not sensible, he will fall into this, thinking he is being tough & advising his elder brother, unknowingly to him, his mother is the one using him to fight his elder brother.

sunnymighty:
I understand how you feel about it all, it's for the greater good, call him again, apologize to him and make him see reasons and not feel insulted. The lord will see your family through, times are hard.

Apologise for what exactly? He didn’t insult his brother. He only spoke to him as a brother and as someone who is concerned about him.
They all have had it rough but the op has hustled, believed in himself and future and hadn’t ma utilised every opportunity he had come across.

seanwilliam:
dumb post by dumb human being.
When a man and a woman are poor and in relationships , the woman is the understanding one Abi ?. Why is she not rich herself ? Do you know what it takes to house and feed a fellow human being as in a complete adult?


Do you even know if the man was doing ok too before he met her? Or there was a turn in fate?.

@ op, nobody has really provided any solution to your situation. You deeply know what to do to get out of this. Don’t let nairlanders whine u .

And @38, you need not sugarcoat anything for him ( I know that he’s not lazy ) but trust me, there’s different between doing what works and what is right .

Good luck !

The earlier you realise that LOVE alone don't matter in marriage the better for you. The earlier you stop hating on those ladies making a wise decision in marriage the better for you. Their mothers, grand mothers and even great grand mothers chose LOVE above every other things. But there was absolutely nothing to show for it after decades in marriage

Most even went into poverty. Love will never pay your bills. What money cannot do, much money will obviously do it. Live and let others live please

Those rich folks will obviously date a girl and marry later. You cannot dictate to them who they should date or get married to. You cannot tell them how to spend their money

You're free to sit your sisters down and advice them to marry a poor man living in a single room or at most room and parlour. That's entirely your choice. And it's left to your sisters to listen to you or not

Leave people's daughters and sisters to make their choice. They aren't blind sir. They saw the choices their mothers, aunties made and they saw the outcome

Even me as a struggling guy will never involved someone daughter into my wahala all in the name of marriage. God forbid

DownTime44:
Hi guys

Please i put up this post basically because of my elder brother. I sincerely want to know if i was wrong talking to him, or I could have just let him be. I wasn't myself ever since i talked to him, and i was somewhat having guilty conscience since then.

I have an elder brother, he's 38 years old and also the first son. I am the fourth child in the family of five. The second child is a female and she's married. We lost our third child, that's my immediate elder brother some years back, while i have a younger brother. I came from a humble background. Lost my dad while i was in JS 3, even before his death we had been hustling on a daily basis for survival, and we live happily as one big family. My mother, siblings and i do hawk daily before we could eat. All thanks to public school in Lagos, my family wouldn't have had the opportunity to basic education. We hawk daily after school, weekdays and weekend. My family was bred and brought up in Ajegunle.

Few years after the demise of my father, we struggled to pay house rent. We had to leave Ajegunle to a local and developing area. I didn't allow my family conditions deter or weigh me down. Never! I believe I'd make it in life legitimately without venturing into crime, fraud, theft etc. After my secondary school, i was into all sorts of labour work. I worked in factory, building site, cleared bushes, laundry man , just to save up and further my education. I worked for 6 years after my secondary school, bought a bike from the little savings i had and proceed to school through jamb. I gave the bike to someone who often deliver #6,000 weekly for the upkeep of my family. I was in year 2 when i let go of the bike, it was on a higher purchase and the agreement we have had elapsed. I hustled my way through school and graduated. I'm done with service last year but couldn't land a job, probably due to my age. I'd be 29 this year and most graduate trainee often request for age below 28. Although, i had a 2.1. I'm only managing in a pure water factory to make ends meet, keep soul and body together and support my family

I sat my elder brother down and talked to him. He has been hustling like every other person in the family but i don't understand what's happening. He didn't futher his education nor learn a handwork. He's 38 but still live under his parents roof. He has been doing conductor work for many years. The family had talked to him several times to look for something else. It's fine you are hustling as a man for survival but doing conductor for many years without thinking of what else to do is wrong. A family friend of ours who later got to know what he does for a living had advice him also.

The bus he was following, the driver had misunderstanding with the owner and he collected his bus back. My elder brother had been idle for months, doing nothing. He claimed he has gone virtually everywhere in search of bus he could be working with but couldn't get any. This is a family that we all had to bring something no matter how little to survive. I was talking to him as a younger brother. I asked him why didn't he heed to people's advice when they were advising him then to stop the conductor work and look for something to learn, if perhaps he doesn't want to further his education? He doesn't believe in Nigeria education, because he could count graduates without job or those with petty job. My elder brother wear almost rag as clothes. I had to give him some of my little wears I'm managing. He has just one slippers. We don't wear same size of shoe or sandals, we could have been sharing that also. He sold his phone to feed sometime ago and had been without phone. I was initially saving to get my mum a small phone but i had to give him the phone instead.

He was crying when i was talking to him. I understand the situation of things in the country, which i myself is going through. I was just trying to know what other things he could come up with. I am not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing. The fact that he's the first son and found himself in this condition at that age breaks my heart daily. My mum had been so worried about his condition. I had to convince her that things will be better. I don't want her to develop high Blood Pressure that could lead to her untimely death.

Please guys was i wrong talking to my elder brother?

To me, You were in Order...as much as You do not Despise him or feel Superior. He is ur Elder Brother and you are the Next in Line...So both of You must Provide the Needed Leadership and Support to Console Ur Yet Grieving Mummy, Pls. God will Bless You All to a Very Good Start and Continue to Build a United Family in Love. Encourage him and d Others for True Breakthrough Pls. KEEP PRAYING FAITHFULLY AND GOD WILL SURPRISE U ALL.

Na little school wey you go give you that kind liver. Next time be very careful and seek for wisdom before you talk that kind talk. He is just unfortunate to be in that situation. Thank God he didn't put his hand in stuffs that will wipe the whole family.

Ask you mum to beg him on your behalf and later go to him to apologies. Also tell him the reason why you brought out the issue is that you yourself thinks things should not continue this way, if the family must come out of this issues.

Ask him for his own opinion and make respectful friendship and decisions together on way forward. Always accord him the respect due to him.

RenegadeX:
You are wise. Op said so many demoralizing things to his brother that he didn’t type here. Even the ones he typed here is enough for someone down already to cry.

And what you said about his mother using him to disrespect his brother. I have experienced it first hand and my younger brother had the audacity to throw a punch on me that I started bleeding. Well I placed a curse on him and I haven’t lifted it

You don't have any curse for your brother. You're just wasting your saliva. Only mother can truly curse a child. The rest na trash.

Ask yourself this simple question, if you have the power to place a curse on someone, why not use same power to place a success on yourself and your love ones?

I am not in support of your brother beating you or you beating your brother. I only know that your curse will not affect him because you're not his biological mother