₦airaland Forum

You guys should see each other and discuss the way forward together.

The truth is that people don't want to suffer with anybody again, once money starts coming in , they tend to forget those who were there during their trying times.

God will restore your marriage for good.

Take it away from Social Media. Simple.

Marriage is like a cage padlocked with four keys. One padlock each by you and your wife. The other two by your family and your in-laws.

Even if you and your wife decide to leave the cage, your family and inlaws may disagree with you.

The advice you seek here is already provided above by STC. Good luck!

io tinue to tell any man who wants to listen....

women dont love u, including ur wives...its only the comfort u can giv dem while u help them grow their kids yhat they are after...

if u lose the supply of the comfort, the wife goes..world wide is same phenomenon....take care of ur self..create policies that guards u around ur wife...marriage is war between a loving man and an opportunistic woman...

dont b deceived love doesn't exist, even in marriage

Marriages don't work in the 21st century.
Go with the trend man, or don't get married

This is an example of what we call separation in marriage and not divorce with the below points;
Husband base in the east.
Wife relocate with kids to Lagos because husband lost his job.
Wife refuse to return to husband.
Husband refuse to relocate to wife hideout.

yrhuhfy113:
WOW....

Your wife is not under a spell, and you did NOTHING wrong.

what is happening is called LIFE. People's mind change when they see a better life or better people.... what is popularly known as THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE effect.

sadly they do not know that THE GRASS IS ONLY ACTUALLY GREENER WHERE IT IS WATERED. Your wife doesn't want to SUFFER with you anymore, she is wishing she was always in lagos so that she could have married someone better.... This is common when people migrate from sub-urban areas to metropolitan cities like lagos. kindly understand that its NORMAL... it is HUMAN NATURE.

I know it hurts and its not easy BUT you need to handle this matter with wisdom. Can you send someone to check on your wife's activities to be sure she is not cheating or over religious and some randy prophet is not confusing her?

Now once you have established that NO MAN is entertaining your wife... then you need to find areas in lagos according to your budget. There are places in lagos where you can pay monthly rent of between 7-11k . And there are places in lagos as high as 230k monthly... so you need not worry yourself... you can relocate to lagos based on your budget... also you need to check yourself spiritually, what could be the cause of your downward turn in business... check and solve it.

NEXT, you need to skill up sir, your current business may tie you down in the east if you do not expand your abilities mentally. THERE IS A MAJOR OPPORTUNITY SIR IN THIS ISSUE, the good news about it is that, it gives you room to reinvent yourself and grow. So don't let your wife and her mother mess up your mind sir, detach and work on yourself.... if you can learn soft skills using a laptop, it will help. If you can change your appearance and style physically, it can also help, YOU NEED TO PACKAGE YOURSELF PROGRESSIVELY.

YOU WILL COME OUT OF THIS SITUATIONS FAR BETTER SIR, but for now, for the sake of the children, this is the little wisdom you need sir to save your home. PLS VISIT LAGOS OFTEN... it is a sacrifice you will have to pay.... TRY TO MONITOR YOUR WIFE.... you can do this by cloning her whatsapp and reading all her chats or spying on her phone, so that from the east you can read all her messages, chats, get voice record of her phone calls....IT IS NECESSARY... these days, you can not just let your spouse go without some form of tracking or remote accountability .... else they will lie to your face and hurt you, then you will feel bad. So I hope these few points will help you know where to start from and what to do

sorry for the black African race their gradually creating the future problems

promisedwealth:
Good morning Great people and wonderful family, please just like the saying a problem shared it's a problem half solved.

I have been married to my wife for over 6years now we have been through all together we have two kids 4 and a year old .

my business since late 2021 has been rough I lost some money trying out a different business I'm based in the eastern part of the country.

Early last year my mother in law told my wife to come stay with her in Lagos till I can find my self again, they left imo to Lagos on feb. 2022 I have been I contact with them ever since sending money across also it happen that my wife started bringing the idea of myself joining over there in Lagos ( my in law has a little school in Lagos that has been where my wife has been teaching since she left) .

Concerning the relocation I told her it's not easy as I have to look for money to get accommodation, shop to start a business also the money will be much which I can't afford for now during someday last year I told her to come back during one of our discussion she told me she it's not coming to east again I got angry.

I noticed the mother will never allow her leave her school so I kept mute about coming back since I was neither ready yet do we kept on going no issues.

Just this april she changed, hardly pick my call,stop calling me by the pet name she does.

I tried to find out what happened, she told me she wanted a break. I was confused I tried to guess why she came up with that. she needs to seek and know if it's the will of God for our union that's after two kids .

I was lost also I have tried to restore this woman sanity since then till now I have spoken to the mother she it's not saying anything than what ever she decides it's best for her the only once telling me not to worry at the brothers but I'm worried honestly .

I don't want my kids to grow in different homes.

I also tried to make her see this same reason she told me the kids will be fine she's not looking at anything making her decision please I need advise it's my wife under a spell or what.

I don't want to raise ny kids this way please advice please....

My friend! Travel to Lagos and know what's up. Phone conversation will not save your marriage! You don't sound serious sef.

Just try and pay a visit to them someday. Maybe she is getting tired of the marriage and you need to rekindle that love and affection. You can also continue to look for other alternatives in the east to boost your incomes. The day you start sending money to her is when she will start giving you a listening ears because I think that is how her brain has been configured. I pray God lift you up again!

Your wife is playing game and I will advise you visit Lagos and spend few days or weeks and see things for yourself.

She begged you to move to Lagos, you refused.

You don't take her advice, you don't provide for her, of what use are you to her?

There's limit to what people can take.

Money is the bedrock of an healthy marriage. Don’t get married if you are not financially stable. Have multiple stream of income. E get why!

Lol she will come back when she discovers that Lagos boys will only chop and go. Except she wants to start a “runs” trade(that’s what most of them do in Lagos) no one go marry her. She wil get tired of that also.

As for your kids, you can talk to her and take them on for one. Take the older while she goes with the younger. But don’t take any of my advice until you have tried to visit her and find out. Try hard for her to stay but if she refuses then let her be. Above all, may God give you a good life. Money Na mad boy.

Lagos men don dey shine her Kongo, courtesy of your mother in-law.
Na your mother in-law GANGAN be the problem.......
She don dey drive your wife go where she no know........
You can't force her to come back, just be responsible for your kids in whatever way possible.
Be a responsible Man guy.
Let her be, she go soon see wertin she dey find.

Lagos don sweet your wife, she no wan go back to East. If na you, you go gree go back?

When we tell you that Lagos is heaven to the average Igbo man, you go dey argue.

otipoju:
Men you just spoke my mind. You are very experienced in worldly matters and human psychology.

You don't reason with words with a woman..it's a waste of time. If you persist she will begin to resent you and if your wahala too much,she will get rid of you one way or the other.

thank you brother this my behaviour and I don't look into woman eyes before doing my thing which most women hate this behaviour

promisedwealth:
Good morning Great people and wonderful family, please just like the saying a problem shared it's a problem half solved.

I have been married to my wife for over 6years now we have been through all together we have two kids 4 and a year old .

my business since late 2021 has been rough I lost some money trying out a different business I'm based in the eastern part of the country.

Early last year my mother in law told my wife to come stay with her in Lagos till I can find my self again, they left imo to Lagos on feb. 2022 I have been I contact with them ever since sending money across also it happen that my wife started bringing the idea of myself joining over there in Lagos ( my in law has a little school in Lagos that has been where my wife has been teaching since she left) .

Concerning the relocation I told her it's not easy as I have to look for money to get accommodation, shop to start a business also the money will be much which I can't afford for now during someday last year I told her to come back during one of our discussion she told me she it's not coming to east again I got angry.

I noticed the mother will never allow her leave her school so I kept mute about coming back since I was neither ready yet do we kept on going no issues.

Just this april she changed, hardly pick my call,stop calling me by the pet name she does.

I tried to find out what happened, she told me she wanted a break. I was confused I tried to guess why she came up with that. she needs to seek and know if it's the will of God for our union that's after two kids .

I was lost also I have tried to restore this woman sanity since then till now I have spoken to the mother she it's not saying anything than what ever she decides it's best for her the only once telling me not to worry at the brothers but I'm worried honestly .

I don't want my kids to grow in different homes.

I also tried to make her see this same reason she told me the kids will be fine she's not looking at anything making her decision please I need advise it's my wife under a spell or what.

I don't want to raise ny kids this way please advice please....

U guys are funny u left ur wife alone in lagos for 2 years and during this period she asked u to come to lagos u said it will be difficult which I agree and then u asked her to come to the East and she told u point blank no! That was ur que.

How are things for u in the east? no so good after 2 years so why not try lagos out or atleast think of a plan and engage her in it since she's the one suggesting the idea of moving.

When a woman gets lonely depending on her personality it can spell doom for her relationship or marriage depending on the options b4 her.

Even if u don't want to stay in lagos u can visit and see ur wife and kids and the determine. Don't just sit in ur comfort zone and say No u can't leave where u are bla bla bla.

yrhuhfy113:
Bro, its well, we have all been hurt by women we gave our lives and our commitment to. It could have destroyed us, but it made us better NOT bitter.

Here is what to do.

WHY NOT COME ONLINE TO PLACES LIKE WHATSAPP STATUS, INSTAGRAM, JUMIA, JIJI, EVEN NAIRALAND sir.... to sell your wears and shoes.

Many ONLINE SHOPS online without physical location o....

JUST YOUR SMART PHONE and a SMART MIND.... you will SELL WELL ANYWHERE YOU ARE.... distance will no longer be a barrier sir.



Also, when you make some profit, try and buy a good laptop.... THEN YOU CAN START LEARNING THE FOLLOWING SKILLS..... ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE, WEB DEVELOPMENT, MICROSOFT OFFICE, GRAPHICS DESIGN.


Sir, each one of those skills can make you financially independent for LIFE, if you really use your head or have a good mentor.

women are to be TAMED not necessarily reasoned with. They will NEVER be logical

LOVE WOMEN WITH YOUR HEAD, never with your HEART

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE DOES NOT EXIST AMONGST MANKIND, ONLY GOD OWNS THAT ABILITY

YOU NEED FAVOR WITH MEN, WITH GOD AND WITH SPIRITS

LIFE IS NOT HARD AT ALL..... the rules of life change from time to time... so it confuses us and we think it is hard.

I celebrate you sir

Oga, I'm not sure you are a young man....you must be an ELDER....

Your wisdom is indeed a wisdom of the ancient...
You have the spirit of the Most high in you, no wonder such fountain is domiciled in you ...I salute you my Elder.

I will need to be following your posts from this day for more wisdom nuggets.

More salute.... Odogwu

Hello bro, So sorry you are in this kind of situation,
the truth is that she's moving on from you and there is definitely a new man. You shouldn't have allowed her leave for Lagos, but as it is, the mother is on her side too. It is painful but that's the truth. The only option for you right now is to hustle more. That's the only point you have to prove to her and to your in laws. It will be very hard to win her back, just double your hustle and be successful in life, and try to always reach out to your children, don't forget them. Life will eventually happen to her where she's going and she and her mother will at some point regret and come back begging that's only if you make it. If you dont, her move will be celebrated as a bullet dodged. I wish you all the best. Bro you may consider changing your location too maybe things will get better. Dont update her, you may even move to that Lagos and start afresh, you will eventually make it in this life , dont kill yourself ooo, it is not an option. Just make sure you make it in life, those children will find you, even make she carry them go faraway in australia, a time will come that they will find you. Just be successful. Bye

promisedwealth:
Good morning Great people and wonderful family, please just like the saying a problem shared it's a problem half solved.

I have been married to my wife for over 6years now we have been through all together we have two kids 4 and a year old .

my business since late 2021 has been rough I lost some money trying out a different business I'm based in the eastern part of the country.

Early last year my mother in law told my wife to come stay with her in Lagos till I can find my self again, they left imo to Lagos on feb. 2022 I have been I contact with them ever since sending money across also it happen that my wife started bringing the idea of myself joining over there in Lagos ( my in law has a little school in Lagos that has been where my wife has been teaching since she left) .

Concerning the relocation I told her it's not easy as I have to look for money to get accommodation, shop to start a business also the money will be much which I can't afford for now during someday last year I told her to come back during one of our discussion she told me she it's not coming to east again I got angry.

I noticed the mother will never allow her leave her school so I kept mute about coming back since I was neither ready yet do we kept on going no issues.

Just this april she changed, hardly pick my call,stop calling me by the pet name she does.

I tried to find out what happened, she told me she wanted a break. I was confused I tried to guess why she came up with that. she needs to seek and know if it's the will of God for our union that's after two kids .

I was lost also I have tried to restore this woman sanity since then till now I have spoken to the mother she it's not saying anything than what ever she decides it's best for her the only once telling me not to worry at the brothers but I'm worried honestly .

I don't want my kids to grow in different homes.

I also tried to make her see this same reason she told me the kids will be fine she's not looking at anything making her decision please I need advise it's my wife under a spell or what.

I don't want to raise ny kids this way please advice please....

“Massive success is the best revenge bro. Money indeed stops nonsense”

Very apt and correct, I actually experienced this wine my first xwife left . I was paying our rent and my two boys school fees but nevertheless, she wanted more. Women are naturally attracted to success. I have made a vow never to make women a priority in my life again and I don’t even think there is space for love in my heart again. I am now a certified loner .

TheRealOwner:
You are very informed. This is why women dump men that sponsored their education or brought them overseas after the deed is done. Those women simply fell for the man at a point where they didn't know any better due to environment and upbringing. Once the environment changes, the same woman now sees that there are potentially better options as their level has changed

The same thing happens with men who were faithful when broke and struggling but are now sugar daddies and have 2 sugar babies per campus in their regions

@promisedwealth, interesting username. What is the story behind it?

Like hopeforcharles has said, you need to reinvent yourself and up your game financially, mentally, emotionally and physically. If you can successfully do this, within the next 3 years, you will see how both her and her mom will become so friendly and submissive and claim they don't know what came over them during this trying period. I have read a story here of a woman who separated from her husband due to his condition, and after he levelled up, wrote a thread on how she misses him so much, how she was the one that was there during his struggle phase (both of them were now remarried to different people at this point), how his new wife did nothing to build him, that people should advise how she can reconcile with him. You can imagine .

Massive success is the best revenge bro. Money indeed stops nonsense

promisedwealth:
Thank you my Brother your words here are very straight to the point you toke out ur time to feel a brother pains I appreciate, I'm thinking towards relocating but I don't know the business I can start over there with my limited fund over here I sell Ok Wears shoes precisely I will also like to learn a soft skill to boast my income but I don't know which to go for that I can learn within a short period of time.

Don't follow you wife foothstep,just accepted as it's, else you will later regret, your wife is already make up her mind, just try to rebuild your self to normal standard

Bros, I think what you need most right now is to get your feet back. I will not suggest you come to Lagos without proper plan. Let your wife be for now and concentrate mainly on yourself.

Financial issue is seriously tearing family apart.

Lagos guys don dey deceive her

promisedwealth:
Good morning Great people and wonderful family, please just like the saying a problem shared it's a problem half solved.

I have been married to my wife for over 6years now we have been through all together we have two kids 4 and a year old .

my business since late 2021 has been rough I lost some money trying out a different business I'm based in the eastern part of the country.

Early last year my mother in law told my wife to come stay with her in Lagos till I can find my self again, they left imo to Lagos on feb. 2022 I have been I contact with them ever since sending money across also it happen that my wife started bringing the idea of myself joining over there in Lagos ( my in law has a little school in Lagos that has been where my wife has been teaching since she left) .

Concerning the relocation I told her it's not easy as I have to look for money to get accommodation, shop to start a business also the money will be much which I can't afford for now during someday last year I told her to come back during one of our discussion she told me she it's not coming to east again I got angry.

I noticed the mother will never allow her leave her school so I kept mute about coming back since I was neither ready yet do we kept on going no issues.

Just this april she changed, hardly pick my call,stop calling me by the pet name she does.

I tried to find out what happened, she told me she wanted a break. I was confused I tried to guess why she came up with that. she needs to seek and know if it's the will of God for our union that's after two kids .

I was lost also I have tried to restore this woman sanity since then till now I have spoken to the mother she it's not saying anything than what ever she decides it's best for her the only once telling me not to worry at the brothers but I'm worried honestly .

I don't want my kids to grow in different homes.

I also tried to make her see this same reason she told me the kids will be fine she's not looking at anything making her decision please I need advise it's my wife under a spell or what.

I don't want to raise ny kids this way please advice please....

women can never weather the rough tide.... having said so there may be more to it than meet the eye, until we hear the woman's story one can't jump into a conclusion.

Allowing her go in the first place is a big mistake
You all should be enduring together

Lagos "boys" don reprogram your wife's head.

The spell on her is a better d'ick. She is already collecting a good better d'ick. In other words she's already d'ickmatized.
Dont ever allow your wife stay in different place from you. We are all humans and all humans love d'ick and p'ussy.
Do you remember her body movement when you d'ick her? She shows times 10 of it to that stronger and longer d'ick

When a wife leaves a spouse- it is ground for divorce if the man is not maltreating his wife. For better for worse, look if a woman cannot stay in the worse part of marriage then she doesn't deserve to get married. Monitor your wife in Lagos to see if she is not cheating, if she is. Please divorce her sharply and quietly..