₦airaland Forum

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Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you naira landers,

I know some of you will criticize me here for always bringing my marital issues here.

Well i believe we got lots of married responsible people here that might have gone through what i am facing through and may have one or two advice for me on how to navigate through my issues.

Some of you are unaware of my stories, i will urge you to read through my stories under my profile name and have better understanding about how it unfolded.

Now i am still struggling emotionally base on the problem am having with my wife, the disloyal, cheating and dishonesty from her ever since she got the job and get an accommodation in the barrack.

She has been a complete different person entirely and still surprise how she turned to be who she is now. well i have decided to divorce her and sent her away because she had caused me enough pains emotionally which am yet to heal from, my peace of mind and mental health is at stake and dont want to run mad because of a woman. I dont think i deserve that. .

My advice to single men and women planning to settle down soon should be very careful with the person they want to marry and know the person very well cos people do change alot when circumstances struck.

That man or woman you are so in love with now might turn out to be a beast when you later end up getting married. Marriage is a very difficult journey.

Now i and my wife are separated living apart but my two daughters are still leaving with me and with the help of my aged mom and sister, they are taking care of them and doing well.

Now am kinda confuse whether i should let the kids go stay with their mother or they should stay with me. Though she is not dragging custody with me but I realize the kids staying with me for now gives me that emotional strength and doesn't make me feel lonely, but if i take them to their mom, i might start missing them and loneliness and depression may strike being that i will be living alone.

I just want to get advice from divorced or separated men or women and even married and single here how they handle the custody part of their kids when their marriage ended, is it easy as a man to raise two girls age 5 and 6yrs and what are the issues relating to these.

As i said, i have a mom and aunt that can look after them very well and all i have to do is provide for them all they will be needing physically and financially, but i just what to be sure if am taking the right decision and wont regret taking their full custody.

pls anyone with useful advice should drop here cos am in a dilemma right now and want to get solution to my issues.

Pls sorry for the typo errors, am writing this with emotions scattered.

My people has an adage that says, 'A dog trained by a woman steals egg'. A word is enough for the wise.

Return the kids to their mom so that you can focus as a man and it's good for your future

I am having the same experience at the moment

Well I don't know because I'm not married yet .

But as a single guy wey I be to be honest I will keep those kids with me, they will be my companion walai because me I love kids even playing with them that's me ooo I don't know about you...

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you naira landers,

I know some of you will criticize me here for always bringing my marital issues here.

Well i believe we got lots of married responsible people here that might have gone through what i am facing through and may have one or two advice for me on how to navigate through my issues.

Some of you are unaware of my stories, i will urge you to read through my stories under my profile name and have better understanding about how it unfolded.

Now i am still struggling emotionally base on the problem am having with my wife, the disloyal, cheating and dishonesty from her ever since she got the job and get an accommodation in the barrack.

She has been a complete different person entirely and still surprise how she turned to be who she is now. well i have decided to divorce her and sent her away because she had caused me enough pains emotionally which am yet to heal from, my peace of mind and mental health is at stake and dont want to run mad because of a woman. I dont think i deserve that. .

My advice to single men and women planning to settle down soon should be very careful with the person they want to marry and know the person very well cos people do change alot when circumstances struck.

That man or woman you are so in love with now might turn out to be a beast when you later end up getting married. Marriage is a very difficult journey.

Now i and my wife are separated living apart but my two daughters are still leaving with me and with the help of my aged mom and sister, they are taking care of them and doing well.

Now am kinda confuse whether i should let the kids go stay with their mother or they should stay with me. Though she is not dragging custody with me but I realize the kids staying with me for now gives me that emotional strength and doesn't make me feel lonely, but if i take them to their mom, i might start missing them and loneliness and depression may strike being that i will be living alone.

I just want to get advice from divorced or separated men or women and even married and single here how they handle the custody part of their kids when their marriage ended, is it easy as a man to raise two girls age 5 and 6yrs and what are the issues relating to these.

As i said, i have a mom and aunt that can look after them very well and all i have to do is provide for them all they will be needing physically and financially, but i just what to be sure if am taking the right decision and wont regret taking their full custody.

pls anyone with useful advice should drop here cos am in a dilemma right now and want to get solution to my issues.

Pls sorry for the typo errors, am writing this with emotions scattered.

If you have the financial capacity., i will advice you to relocate far from her., make she no con use military threaten you in the future.

When she ask of you from your family, make dem tell her say.., you don travel out.

That travelling go happen by God's grace.., nothing is as good as having one's peace of mind.

The worst mistake a man can make is marrying a wrong woman.

She left 5 & 6yrs old kids...." has finish., na Iya Omo remain"

cococandy:
Why do most divorces men hardly get custody of the kids to care for them. It always ends with then pawing the kids off to one aunt or grandma to do the raising for them. I thought women bring nothing to the table. Yet small small child raising is too difficult

OLODO LAKPATA! how do u want him to take care of the kids himself when he leaves for work everyday? women really have fish BRAINS

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you naira landers,

I know some of you will criticize me here for always bringing my marital issues here.

Well i believe we got lots of married responsible people here that might have gone through what i am facing through and may have one or two advice for me on how to navigate through my issues.

Some of you are unaware of my stories, i will urge you to read through my stories under my profile name and have better understanding about how it unfolded.

Now i am still struggling emotionally base on the problem am having with my wife, the disloyal, cheating and dishonesty from her ever since she got the job and get an accommodation in the barrack.

She has been a complete different person entirely and still surprise how she turned to be who she is now. well i have decided to divorce her and sent her away because she had caused me enough pains emotionally which am yet to heal from, my peace of mind and mental health is at stake and dont want to run mad because of a woman. I dont think i deserve that. .

My advice to single men and women planning to settle down soon should be very careful with the person they want to marry and know the person very well cos people do change alot when circumstances struck.

That man or woman you are so in love with now might turn out to be a beast when you later end up getting married. Marriage is a very difficult journey.

Now i and my wife are separated living apart but my two daughters are still leaving with me and with the help of my aged mom and sister, they are taking care of them and doing well.

Now am kinda confuse whether i should let the kids go stay with their mother or they should stay with me. Though she is not dragging custody with me but I realize the kids staying with me for now gives me that emotional strength and doesn't make me feel lonely, but if i take them to their mom, i might start missing them and loneliness and depression may strike being that i will be living alone.

I just want to get advice from divorced or separated men or women and even married and single here how they handle the custody part of their kids when their marriage ended, is it easy as a man to raise two girls age 5 and 6yrs and what are the issues relating to these.

As i said, i have a mom and aunt that can look after them very well and all i have to do is provide for them all they will be needing physically and financially, but i just what to be sure if am taking the right decision and wont regret taking their full custody.

pls anyone with useful advice should drop here cos am in a dilemma right now and want to get solution to my issues.

Pls sorry for the typo errors, am writing this with emotions scattered.

I am not criticizing any profession. But any man or woman working in the force, it will only take the grace of God for that man or woman to be responsible, and be an upright person.

It's best your raise your daughters. Since your wife is not even fighting for them to be with her, it shows she doesn't need them to come and be an obstacle to her.

May God help you!

Honestly divorce is not easy, am a victim.

Afodot0022:
Yes i understand you better, she have the higher chances taken custody because of their age and also female. Just dont want anything that will make me relate with her which i know its impossible cos of the kids. Seeing her brings back the hurt in me and reason am trying to avoid her. She came yesterday to see them kids and honestly i wasnt happy seeing her cos it triggers what she did to me and how she hurt me. I just dont want to set an eye on her for now so i can be fine and heal and back emotionally. Me seeing her drains me emotionally. Honestly divorce is not easy and has its own issues. Atimes itss even worst than the marriage itself.

sniperr007:
■ Statistics says that children with father figure in their lives turn out better than those without father figure in their lives.
■ Conclusion, children who live with their fathers alone are less likely to be troubled than those who live with their mothers alone.. Also, focus on your children wellbeing and not just yourself

Those statistics apply as far as children who in fact live and grow up in the same house with their father figure, and not those who are in the custody of their fathers but shipped off to be raised by a relative of his.

2. OP plans to ship the kids off to his mother or sister to be raised by them while he probably moves with his life. It is a form of abandonment if you ask me.

Donlexino:
■ OLODO LAKPATA! how do u want him to take care of the kids himself when he leaves for work everyday? women really have fish BRAINS

the same way the woman who equally works is meant to take care of the kids naw!

Ozigboomusi1:
■ Return the kids to their mom so that you can focus as a man and it's good for your future. I am having the same experience at the moment

So, the kids are not equally his to take care of? Or does being a man mean he cannot take care of his own kids?

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you naira landers,

I know some of you will criticize me here for always bringing my marital issues here.

Well i believe we got lots of married responsible people here that might have gone through what i am facing through and may have one or two advice for me on how to navigate through my issues.

Some of you are unaware of my stories, i will urge you to read through my stories under my profile name and have better understanding about how it unfolded.

Now i am still struggling emotionally base on the problem am having with my wife, the disloyal, cheating and dishonesty from her ever since she got the job and get an accommodation in the barrack.

She has been a complete different person entirely and still surprise how she turned to be who she is now. well i have decided to divorce her and sent her away because she had caused me enough pains emotionally which am yet to heal from, my peace of mind and mental health is at stake and dont want to run mad because of a woman. I dont think i deserve that. .

My advice to single men and women planning to settle down soon should be very careful with the person they want to marry and know the person very well cos people do change alot when circumstances struck.

That man or woman you are so in love with now might turn out to be a beast when you later end up getting married. Marriage is a very difficult journey.

Now i and my wife are separated living apart but my two daughters are still leaving with me and with the help of my aged mom and sister, they are taking care of them and doing well.

Now am kinda confuse whether i should let the kids go stay with their mother or they should stay with me. Though she is not dragging custody with me but I realize the kids staying with me for now gives me that emotional strength and doesn't make me feel lonely, but if i take them to their mom, i might start missing them and loneliness and depression may strike being that i will be living alone.

I just want to get advice from divorced or separated men or women and even married and single here how they handle the custody part of their kids when their marriage ended, is it easy as a man to raise two girls age 5 and 6yrs and what are the issues relating to these.

As i said, i have a mom and aunt that can look after them very well and all i have to do is provide for them all they will be needing physically and financially, but i just what to be sure if am taking the right decision and wont regret taking their full custody.

pls anyone with useful advice should drop here cos am in a dilemma right now and want to get solution to my issues.

Pls sorry for the typo errors, am writing this with emotions scattered.

My advise to you:

1.Be bold and take full custody
2. You have your mum and sister who assist in taking care of of them.
3. If you allow her to take custody, you will provide tired and she will milk you dry.
4. Raising daughter is a daunting task, you just be prayerful as your ex will pray you fail while raising them.
5. Your ex is not bothered because she wants to explore market and the kids will be a stumbling block for her

Afodot0022:
I pray you dont find yourself in my situation, if you do, u will understand better. If you dont have any advice, quietly move on pls

That's what u get when u bring ur family issues here, atleast 60% of people here are teenagers and don't even av what to say, meet people physically and not some online folks

No - shared custody.

Unless she is using drugs or abusive.

Take responsibilities and not custody

Kobojunkie:
Those statistics apply as far as children who in fact live and grow up in the same house with their father figure, and not those who are in the custody of their fathers but shipped off to be raised by a relative of his.

2. OP plans to ship the kids off to his mother or sister to be raised by them while he probably moves with his life. It is a form of abandonment if you ask me.

You are right.
If OP plans to ship them, then that's not cool. From his comment, he is thinking more about himself and not the children.

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you naira landers,

I know some of you will criticize me here for always bringing my marital issues here.

Well i believe we got lots of married responsible people here that might have gone through what i am facing through and may have one or two advice for me on how to navigate through my issues.

Some of you are unaware of my stories, i will urge you to read through my stories under my profile name and have better understanding about how it unfolded.

Now i am still struggling emotionally base on the problem am having with my wife, the disloyal, cheating and dishonesty from her ever since she got the job and get an accommodation in the barrack.

She has been a complete different person entirely and still surprise how she turned to be who she is now. well i have decided to divorce her and sent her away because she had caused me enough pains emotionally which am yet to heal from, my peace of mind and mental health is at stake and dont want to run mad because of a woman. I dont think i deserve that. .

My advice to single men and women planning to settle down soon should be very careful with the person they want to marry and know the person very well cos people do change alot when circumstances struck.

That man or woman you are so in love with now might turn out to be a beast when you later end up getting married. Marriage is a very difficult journey.

Now i and my wife are separated living apart but my two daughters are still leaving with me and with the help of my aged mom and sister, they are taking care of them and doing well.

Now am kinda confuse whether i should let the kids go stay with their mother or they should stay with me. Though she is not dragging custody with me but I realize the kids staying with me for now gives me that emotional strength and doesn't make me feel lonely, but if i take them to their mom, i might start missing them and loneliness and depression may strike being that i will be living alone.

I just want to get advice from divorced or separated men or women and even married and single here how they handle the custody part of their kids when their marriage ended, is it easy as a man to raise two girls age 5 and 6yrs and what are the issues relating to these.

As i said, i have a mom and aunt that can look after them very well and all i have to do is provide for them all they will be needing physically and financially, but i just what to be sure if am taking the right decision and wont regret taking their full custody.

pls anyone with useful advice should drop here cos am in a dilemma right now and want to get solution to my issues.

Pls sorry for the typo errors, am writing this with emotions scattered.

I could remember telling you not to allow her collect an accomodation in kirikiri, that the level of adultery there is overwhelming, but you didn't take my advice.

Afodot0022:
Well its obvious that kids are supposed to be in custody of their mom except otherwise cos the mother can care better than the father and with the busy schedule of the father, he can hardly have time to bring them up which will affect them. Why take custody as a man when the kids are still young and also their mom is still alive. Doesn't make sense to me cos no matter how u dont want the kids to be close to their mom, when they grow up, they will make that decision and their is nothing u can do about it.. So i think its always beneficial for them to stay with their mom. They have been with me since January taking care of them and its not easy as a man cos we are not wired or gifted in such care roles. Am thinking of takibg them back to their mom after they have finish this term in school so i can focus and move on as a man. My thought though

if she is cheating as you said, then it don't be a good decision. What if her man or boyfriend visit her often with the kids around...
Its better you take care of them with the help of your people and let them from time to time go for visitation.

Afodot0022:
Thanks for this piece of advice. Really appreciate. Thank God i have a job and can take care of them with the help of my mom. My wife has proven she is not worth it and as u said, she might poison there mind towards me. Thanks once again.

you set, dem need tell you before you know say den no suppose near their mama? It's time to make them attached to your mom and aunt to get the best home-training, so they can grow up and see their mom as dumping them to at a young age and went to frolic with other men.

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you naira landers,

I know some of you will criticize me here for always bringing my marital issues here.

Well i believe we got lots of married responsible people here that might have gone through what i am facing through and may have one or two advice for me on how to navigate through my issues.

Some of you are unaware of my stories, i will urge you to read through my stories under my profile name and have better understanding about how it unfolded.

Now i am still struggling emotionally base on the problem am having with my wife, the disloyal, cheating and dishonesty from her ever since she got the job and get an accommodation in the barrack.

She has been a complete different person entirely and still surprise how she turned to be who she is now. well i have decided to divorce her and sent her away because she had caused me enough pains emotionally which am yet to heal from, my peace of mind and mental health is at stake and dont want to run mad because of a woman. I dont think i deserve that. .

My advice to single men and women planning to settle down soon should be very careful with the person they want to marry and know the person very well cos people do change alot when circumstances struck.

That man or woman you are so in love with now might turn out to be a beast when you later end up getting married. Marriage is a very difficult journey.

Now i and my wife are separated living apart but my two daughters are still leaving with me and with the help of my aged mom and sister, they are taking care of them and doing well.

Now am kinda confuse whether i should let the kids go stay with their mother or they should stay with me. Though she is not dragging custody with me but I realize the kids staying with me for now gives me that emotional strength and doesn't make me feel lonely, but if i take them to their mom, i might start missing them and loneliness and depression may strike being that i will be living alone.

I just want to get advice from divorced or separated men or women and even married and single here how they handle the custody part of their kids when their marriage ended, is it easy as a man to raise two girls age 5 and 6yrs and what are the issues relating to these.

As i said, i have a mom and aunt that can look after them very well and all i have to do is provide for them all they will be needing physically and financially, but i just what to be sure if am taking the right decision and wont regret taking their full custody.

pls anyone with useful advice should drop here cos am in a dilemma right now and want to get solution to my issues.

Pls sorry for the typo errors, am writing this with emotions scattered.

Bro let your kids remain with you, they’re your flesh and blood and luckily you’ve got people to help you care for them, who know what their mom and her boyfriend might do to them if you allow them live with her? But please ensure they’re not maltreated if you happen to remarry, don’t allow any she devil who doesn’t know what they’ve been through to hurt them cause you happen to marry her, your kids should be your topmost priority no matter what happens. Best of luck.

The first point of your healing is to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice, one that favors the giver. It is for your own good.
Whatever method of custody you both decide on, you will have to see your ex-wife. With forgiveness, even though you see her, you won’t be emotionally stressed and disturbed. You have those feelings because you still hold on to what she did.
Though I’m not really abreast with all the issues, I can imagine your pain through your writing. Please forgive her and permit yourself to heal.
I’m not insinuating that you get back together. That’s a decision you both can arrive at. Probably, get counseling.
Start with Jesus

Afodot0022:
Honestly divorce is even more harder to deal with cos seperating from the person you gave your whole to and spend your life with is difficult to handle. Seeing them again trigger lost of mixed emotion difficult to deal. Fine maybe cos i still love my wife reason am going through this rollercoaster of emotion but i know with time am gonna be fine and move on with life. She has really mess up thongs in this marriage and given this a chance again will make it look like am stupid and dumb. Someone that cheated and forgave her and give her a second chance and still went ahead to unblock the person in order to continue from where they stop. Its annoying. This shows she has no regards for me or the union itself. I just want her to learn bitterly from her lesson thats all.

Cheated and you forgive her? Most people don't deserve second chance.

It's hard agreed, but you should be conscious of your mental health.

Look at it from this perspective, if anything happened to you today, she will get custody of your daughters, and still go ahead to marry that man he cheated with under same roof with your kids.

You have to be a man, clean up, and focus on your girls for now.

It's natural for you to want to have sex one in a while. Social media makes it easier now, get a friend with benefit. Pay and knack and move on. Please don't think of going into another relationship for now. Focus on yourself and your girls. You will be fine las las. If I were in your shoe, God forbid, I would not marry again. Will make sure I give my girls all the support they need and enjoy my life to the fullest. Marriage na sweet huge stress..

It's your cross, you have to carry it well and forget about you ex wife.

No try am ooh...ee go choke you ooh. Let them be with their mum see them once once make you concentrate and hustle so you can be better so that when your ex wife see you she sef go confirm that their is improvement in your life

Afodot0022:
Yes either of them or both will come and stay with me. Mum is retired and not working while sister is yet to be married. I feel if they are living with us, it will help the most in taking care of them being that they are female and knows better.

If you send those kids to her.. she will use them against you. You can bet it. That's assured.
She will poison their minds as they grow and make them hate you for the false reasons especially as they're females.

You talking about depression is out of the point.. she might not even be feeling anything called depression as she continue to enjoy her life while you continue killing yourself slowly with depression

You're a man.. be firm. Let those kids stay with your mother or sister.

Lastly, don't fall for any emotional antics from her to manipulate you into coming back to her. Cos I see you're an emotionally weak person.

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you naira landers,

I know some of you will criticize me here for always bringing my marital issues here.

Well i believe we got lots of married responsible people here that might have gone through what i am facing through and may have one or two advice for me on how to navigate through my issues.

Some of you are unaware of my stories, i will urge you to read through my stories under my profile name and have better understanding about how it unfolded.

Now i am still struggling emotionally base on the problem am having with my wife, the disloyal, cheating and dishonesty from her ever since she got the job and get an accommodation in the barrack.

She has been a complete different person entirely and still surprise how she turned to be who she is now. well i have decided to divorce her and sent her away because she had caused me enough pains emotionally which am yet to heal from, my peace of mind and mental health is at stake and dont want to run mad because of a woman. I dont think i deserve that. .

My advice to single men and women planning to settle down soon should be very careful with the person they want to marry and know the person very well cos people do change alot when circumstances struck.

That man or woman you are so in love with now might turn out to be a beast when you later end up getting married. Marriage is a very difficult journey.

Now i and my wife are separated living apart but my two daughters are still leaving with me and with the help of my aged mom and sister, they are taking care of them and doing well.

Now am kinda confuse whether i should let the kids go stay with their mother or they should stay with me. Though she is not dragging custody with me but I realize the kids staying with me for now gives me that emotional strength and doesn't make me feel lonely, but if i take them to their mom, i might start missing them and loneliness and depression may strike being that i will be living alone.

I just want to get advice from divorced or separated men or women and even married and single here how they handle the custody part of their kids when their marriage ended, is it easy as a man to raise two girls age 5 and 6yrs and what are the issues relating to these.

As i said, i have a mom and aunt that can look after them very well and all i have to do is provide for them all they will be needing physically and financially, but i just what to be sure if am taking the right decision and wont regret taking their full custody.

pls anyone with useful advice should drop here cos am in a dilemma right now and want to get solution to my issues.

Pls sorry for the typo errors, am writing this with emotions scattered.

They can't give you custody of young female kids sir while their mum is alive...Your mum or aunt is not their mum...Their mum has 100000% chance to file for charges against you...

I can't be alive and watch my kids stay with someone else..Is either they are with you,their mum,or no one else...How could you trade the psychologicalwellbeing of ur kids due to the difference u have with their mum?.....What if they turn house girl overnight to ur aunt?......Aunt fire...
Perish that idea immediately ..Lawyers will just milk you and tell you sorry in the end...
A word is enough for the unwise..