I'm a young man in my mid twenties. I used to be very quiet and spend most of my time alone while growing up because I don't have friends. I was always the one looking for friends and the one always seeking to be accepted but in the end, i get none. People who we left primary school together for the same secondary school would come together to form joint ventures, go out, buy clothes together and all during our last day in secondary school but I was sidelined and never knew about it till the day. I was dying of loneliness everyday but I kept everything to myself.

Fat forward to university days, i vowed to be the best and It was not long before I was among the few first class student in my department and though few people come to me to talk, it never passes the level of academics and once they're able to solve the difficult questions they're dealing with, then it's over until there's another assignment or test or exam question again.

Sometime during my school, i would be angry and really pissed of when I realize the reason someone was talking to me was so i could help them with their academics and immediately that is solved, it's all gone. No sustained relationship, no nothing. But I slowly had to let it go because I was already getting used to being a loner.

I will joke sometime, i will play, and most time, i will be alone and this has followed me out of the university and into my work place.

I decided to not be the loner i used to be by being open, meet people, talk to people outside of my department and all and the results are the same.

Another thing I observed is that people don't take my advice or inputs seriously. They will never do anything if they heard i was the one who suggested it. If i say something, it's always met with either reluctance or nobody accepting it but once someone else says it, then it's the Gold. I once proposed a solution to our supervisor during a meeting and what i was getting were reasons why it won't work and even when I tried explaining why i think it will work, i was getting shut down. And a colleague later said the same thing and the supervisor replied "Fantastic!"


I felt really bad and I don't know what to do. If there's something I'm doing wrong, I'll love to know or if there's an area of improvement, please kindly suggest.

I'm afraid I may not go that far if people do not listen to me and hear me out. Recently, there were case study issues we were resolving in a team and all my suggestions were the same thing I got as answers when I tried using ChatGPT to solve the same case study and still, nobody took my submissions seriously.


What is wrong with me? Where am I getting it wrong?

Nothing is wrong with you. I repeat! Nothing is wrong with you.

Continue to be your good self, because having too much people in your circle is even wahala. Just enjoy yourself by yourself.

AlKhawarism:
■ I'm afraid I may not go that far if people do not listen to me and hear me out. Recently, there were case study issues we were resolving in a team and all my suggestions were the same thing I got as answers when I tried using ChatGPT to solve the same case study and still, nobody took my submissions seriously.

What is wrong with me? Where am I getting it wrong?

1. There is nothing wrong with you. Rather it is that you live in surroundings where people don't appreciate you and your value to them and society. I suggest you focus on proving your worth to yourself first. Identify your strengths as well as your weaknesses and work on enhancing the former over the latter. If you are able to, work on your own project ideas alone if necessary, and make a success of them to show yourself as capable as you believe yourself to be. Eventually, those around you will hopefully see you for how much you are truly worth.

AlKhawarism:
I'm a young man in my mid twenties. I used to be very quiet and spend most of my time alone while growing up because I don't have friends. I was always the one looking for friends and the one always seeking to be accepted but in the end, i get none. People who we left primary school together for the same secondary school would come together to form joint ventures, go out, buy clothes together and all during our last day in secondary school but I was sidelined and never knew about it till the day. I was dying of loneliness everyday but I kept everything to myself.

Fat forward to university days, i vowed to be the best and It was not long before I was among the few first class student in my department and though few people come to me to talk, it never passes the level of academics and once they're able to solve the difficult questions they're dealing with, then it's over until there's another assignment or test or exam question again.

Sometime during my school, i would be angry and really pissed of when I realize the reason someone was talking to me was so i could help them with their academics and immediately that is solved, it's all gone. No sustained relationship, no nothing. But I slowly had to let it go because I was already getting used to being a loner.

I will joke sometime, i will play, and most time, i will be alone and this has followed me out of the university and into my work place.

I decided to not be the loner i used to be by being open, meet people, talk to people outside of my department and all and the results are the same.

Another thing I observed is that people don't take my advice or inputs seriously. They will never do anything if they heard i was the one who suggested it. If i say something, it's always met with either reluctance or nobody accepting it but once someone else says it, then it's the Gold. I once proposed a solution to our supervisor during a meeting and what i was getting were reasons why it won't work and even when I tried explaining why i think it will work, i was getting shut down. And a colleague later said the same thing and the supervisor replied "Fantastic!"


I felt really bad and I don't know what to do. If there's something I'm doing wrong, I'll love to know or if there's an area of improvement, please kindly suggest.

I'm afraid I may not go that far if people do not listen to me and hear me out. Recently, there were case study issues we were resolving in a team and all my suggestions were the same thing I got as answers when I tried using ChatGPT to solve the same case study and still, nobody took my submissions seriously.


What is wrong with me? Where am I getting it wrong?

From my perspective, three things might be involved:

1. They may not be taking you seriously because of the poor presentation of your points. If this is the case, then you need to be more concise and brief (straight to the point) when making your points.

2. They may not be taking you seriously because they know you to be someone who talks too much and without a second thought on issues. If this is the case, you need to discipline yourself to be more mature, thoughtful and wise in your idea presentation.

3. It is possible you are always in a hurry to make your points. So, always listen to other people and even get a cue from them before making any point.

If possible, wait until they ask for your opinion in most cases and they will surely appreciate it if it is apt and on-point.

Thats is life for you.

You need to learn to appreciate yourself.

Stop seeking approval or attention. It is a recipie for disaster. You will soon become a slave to pleasing people and will hate yourself in long term. ...I have been there and done that.
When you give solutions, do it because it is the right thing and not because you want to be praised.

We are all alone in this world. Even the guys you think are in groups or relationships suffer from backstabbing and heart breaks.

Take care of your physiologic needs, meditate, pray, learn, grow and become a better version of yourself.


Peace.

Stevenbright:


From my perspective, three things might be involved:

1. They may not be taking you seriously because of the poor presentation of your points. If this is the case, then you need to be more concise and brief (straight to the point) when making your points.

2. They may not be taking you seriously because they know you to be someone who talks too much and without a second thought on issues. If this is the case, you need to discipline yourself to be more mature, thoughtful and wise in your idea presentation.

3. It is possible you are always in a hurry to make your points. So, always listen to other people and even get a cue from them before making any point.

If possible, wait until they ask for your opinion in most cases and they will surely appreciate it if it is apt and on-point.

I think I'm guilty of some of these. I'll work towards getting better. Thanks for your submission

yomi007k:
Thats is life for you.

You need to learn to appreciate yourself.

Stop seeking approval or attention. It is a recipie for disaster. You will soon become a slave to pleasing people and will hate yourself in long term. ...I have been there and done that.
When you give solutions, do it because it is the right thing and not because you want to be praised.

We are all alone in this world. Even the guys you think are in groups or relationships suffer from backstabbing and heart breaks.

Take care of your physiologic needs, meditate, pray, learn, grow and become a better version of yourself.


Peace.

Thank you

See diz guy! Lol

U funny. So becos nobody dey reason u, you are feeling down

Less talk nd more action is the key.

If u reason wetin niggars dey talk abt u....am sorry

And who even told you its a crime to be a loner

Are u of small stature??
I guess that would be the reason sm1 will look down or talk u down.

Stevenbright:


From my perspective, three things might be involved:

1. They may not be taking you seriously because of the poor presentation of your points. If this is the case, then you need to be more concise and brief (straight to the point) when making your points.

2. They may not be taking you seriously because they know you to be someone who talks too much and without a second thought on issues. If this is the case, you need to discipline yourself to be more mature, thoughtful and wise in your idea presentation.

3. It is possible you are always in a hurry to make your points. So, always listen to other people and even get a cue from them before making any point.

If possible, wait until they ask for your opinion in most cases and they will surely appreciate it if it is apt and on-point.

These points are out of point…
I know exactly what the OP is going through.