How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? - Family (4)

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How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? (13834 Views)

When A 70 Years Old Man Behaves Foolishly, How Do You Handle It? / How Do You Handle This Type Of Situation? / My Wife Can’t Say No (2) (3) (4)

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Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Bukola94: 5:08pm On Jun 21, 2023

ceejay80s:

all ur assentions are from nollywood movies abi?
u never jam wifewey no dey hear word, some of these girls after watching nollywood movies seeing how mother inlaws fight daughter inlaws, they twist that fiction to reality in their homes, hating mother inlaws in any little correction they mothers corrects them

lol. Nollywood films, wife wey no dey hear word are very many. Have seen so many situations

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by TheMostComplex1: 5:08pm On Jun 21, 2023

Mindlog:

You remind me of one of my former psychiatric patient, guy was insistent that strangers are better at taking care of children....you are here confirming it.

I don faint ooh

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by themanderon: 5:27pm On Jun 21, 2023

Foolish women of these days do not know they will one day become mothers in law. What you sow today you reap someday.
Even if your mother-in law is a difficult woman manage her. She will not be with you forever. Love her however she treats you. Who knows, you may just win her over someday.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by purples25(f): 5:42pm On Jun 21, 2023

Bukola94:
u are so right, in some cases in_ laws & the mother inlaw maybe giving the wives problems. Serious problems, like nothing that she does for them that they appreciate

Yeah and no one wants to admit that they have bad behaviors. Some convince their sons that the wife is a stranger, convince him to take sides and not be private, personal or respectful towards the wife. What's meant to be a family is a power play and a fighting ground to them. Often, the nuclear family doesn't hold much value to in laws. They want the wife to slave for them, they want good, beautiful and healthy kids from the union, they want plenty respect and pampering.

But you see the one benefit they would leave for the wife, having respect, standing in her own home and a special relationship with her husband, that one thing pains them to give that woman. To them its better she should be happy being a nobody in the husband's house. Then when her own son grows, she can go and be a small god in his house too, terrorizing the wife and low key being a creepy substitute wife to her own son. The circle continues.

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by lavylilly: 5:48pm On Jun 21, 2023

TempUser:
You have to take side with your mom (reasonable one though) She can't get another son, but your wife can always get another husband the second you drop dead.

Your wife is I'll leave at the sight of longer terminal illness but your mom won't.

Take to your mother's till you could keep them on different roofs.
I can relate. Oluwa a way pelu e o.

If you like your mother over your wife, there are two possible reasons:

1. You chose the wrong wife.

2. You fail to realize that Mummy won't grow old with you. Choosing a wife means choosing a person with whom to create an intertwined life.

Your mother sent you out into the world. To create a life for yourself. NOT to be her life partner!

Should your father have preferred your paternal grandmother (your dad's mother) over your mother?

No. That's unwell. How would you have felt growing up if Daddy had always preferred Granny above your own Mum? You'd think he was kind of a dick.

Marriage is the forging of a union. You become one with your spouse. Anyone who wants to become one with their parent is sick, and anyone who can't become one with their loving spouse is stunted.

If your wife turned out to be a horrible person, that's another story. It means either she's an amazing liar or you have bad taste. But your mother is not your life partner. You will not grow old with your mummy.

What's most important to remember is that, to Mummy, you'll always be a baby. She remembers you shitting in diapers. She will never be able to experience you fully as the man you are -- and she shouldn't be able to, OBVIOUSLY. If you choose Mummy over your life partner, you may as well be three years old.

if my kid ever chooses me over a high quality partner, I'll have to try hard not to give my kid a big smack upside his head. If my kid can't fully bond with a life partner and is still childish enough to yearn for Mummy instead, y'all know you've failed miserably.

Oh. Last but not least. I find that this mistake is often related to the mistake of not realizing one's spouse is one's primary family member. Your spouse is your most important family member. FYI

4 Likes

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by cooooooks(m): 5:55pm On Jun 21, 2023

Hakimi was 18 years old or younger when he married the 30 years old woman.

Of course he needed mom protection.

I do not advocate for any 18 year old to get married in the first place.

searchlight:
Tell that to Hakimi and get his response first before making that useless conclusion.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by lavylilly: 5:57pm On Jun 21, 2023

cooooooks:
Hakimi was 18 years old or younger when he married the 30 years old woman.

Of course he needed mom protection.
I do not advocate for any 18 year old to get married in the first place.

Why? It's your opinion damnit

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Kobojunkie: 5:59pm On Jun 21, 2023

Newness2019:
WHATEVER YOU DO, MAKE SURE YOU ARE BACKED BY THE BIBLE. WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT MARRIAGE ? WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT PARENTS ? IF YOU MAKE A MISTAKE ABOUT ANY ONE, YOUR LIFE BECOMES TWISTED AND YOU (THE MAN) WILL SUFFER FOR IT. READ THE BIBLE AND GET THE ANSWER.

If you read your bible, it clearly says your marriages are of the world of men and not of the Kingdom of God who cursed marriage in Genesis 3 vs 16 right after Adam attempted to blame God for Eve. Why not try more practical approaches to resolving problems of these kind? undecided

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by talented321: 7:14pm On Jun 21, 2023

The bitter truth is you mother is a woman like your wife, and she has gone through that stage, just like you have said your mother is seeing many things but she don't want to scatter you marriage so she keep it to herself. Many women feel insecured when they are with their mother-in laws or sister- inlaws because they know theirselves.

ceejay80s:

mom....most times is not the mothers , there are things they are seeing but u the husband is blinded by love

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Teymanhenry(f): 7:32pm On Jun 21, 2023

Seed or no seed, I think the man have a role to play. The man should shoe his wife or girlfriend that she can not speak ill or disrespect his mum no matter what. If she loves you, she'll abide by this simple rule

1 Like

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Kobojunkie: 7:33pm On Jun 21, 2023

ceejay80s:
■ dont say that, some wives are naturally wickrd and they have a stupid character,
before i got married to my wife, my mom had a conversation with her and asked her wont u support ur husband, the list u people gave my son is much so u will support him, do u know that since then, she hated my mom....most times is not the mothers , there are things they are seeing but u the husband is blinded by love

I am sorry, did the people put a gun to your head to marry the woman or what? Your mom is the problem in that case for approaching your wife after it. She should have approached you instead since you are the one who chose for yourself a woman who would not support you and would come with a dowry. undecided

1 Like

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by prophetfire: 8:14pm On Jun 21, 2023

Mindlog:

You remind me of one of my former psychiatric patient, guy was insistent that strangers are better at taking care of children....you are here confirming it.

. Babe, you be psychia? Mean say you dey gather mad people ni? I don take off

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by obama99: 8:17pm On Jun 21, 2023

Wives should take their time. They are. Sowing a very bad seed. I advice you don't allow it , either by rejecting it earlier in your marriage or you go on your knees in prayers. Some women are so sentimental that, they don't went to see their mother inlaw and they develop all manners of reasons to behave stupid at the mother inlaw.

Men also should man up and put and end to it once and for all. If you cannot like someone's mother why marry him. You feel comfortable with your own mother in your husband's house but you don't want to see your mother inlaw.

If I talk to you in private and you refuse to change I will change the entire process against you , you won't benefit anything from my inheritance. Cos a man himself will unknowingly drift away from his family and the mother gradually the moment your wife is not in good terms with your mother and you will definitely experience turbulence in your finances and life generally.

Look back and see how much that poor woman has suffered to make you whom you are. You wife. Must honour and respect your mother the same way she will do to her own. Marriage is not partnership is a husband over a wife.

When you allow such to thrive, all other evils will keep coming into your home.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by obama99: 8:20pm On Jun 21, 2023

lavylilly:
If you like your mother over your wife, there are two possible reasons:

1. You chose the wrong wife.

2. You fail to realize that Mummy won't grow old with you. Choosing a wife means choosing a person with whom to create an intertwined life.

Your mother sent you out into the world. To create a life for yourself. NOT to be her life partner!

Should your father have preferred your paternal grandmother (your dad's mother) over your mother?

No. That's unwell. How would you have felt growing up if Daddy had always preferred Granny above your own Mum? You'd think he was kind of a dick.

Marriage is the forging of a union. You become one with your spouse. Anyone who wants to become one with their parent is sick, and anyone who can't become one with their loving spouse is stunted.

If your wife turned out to be a horrible person, that's another story. It means either she's an amazing liar or you have bad taste. But your mother is not your life partner. You will not grow old with your mummy.

What's most important to remember is that, to Mummy, you'll always be a baby. She remembers you shitting in diapers. She will never be able to experience you fully as the man you are -- and she shouldn't be able to, OBVIOUSLY. If you choose Mummy over your life partner, you may as well be three years old.

if my kid ever chooses me over a high quality partner, I'll have to try hard not to give my kid a big smack upside his head. If my kid can't fully bond with a life partner and is still childish enough to yearn for Mummy instead, y'all know you've failed miserably.

Oh. Last but not least. I find that this mistake is often related to the mistake of not realizing one's spouse is one's primary family member. Your spouse is your most important family member. FYI

I totally disagree with you. Yes your mum won't grow old but you will miss the opportunity of a life time to take good care of relate with your mum if you allow your wife to drive a wedge in between you. That's if you're lucky the old woman doesn't place a curse on you.

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by IgbosNIGHTMARE: 8:37pm On Jun 21, 2023

Mindlog:

Then stick to your mama and don't go entangle yourself with "one stranger".

Or-deh

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Mindlog: 8:39pm On Jun 21, 2023

prophetfire:
. Babe, you be psychia? Mean say you dey gather mad people ni? I don take off

My job is to actively listen to mentally ill patients and try to make sense of their world.....trained for that.

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Mindlog: 8:41pm On Jun 21, 2023

IgbosNIGHTMARE:

Or-deh

I hear that a lot. cheesy

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Chidolalar: 8:48pm On Jun 21, 2023

cooooooks:
Are you married to your mother?

First choose a wife, a partner of good repute, with a good head.

Then leave your mother and cleave to your wife.

Your spouse is the most important person in your life. Even more important than the children you two will produce.

How is your spouse d most important person in your life

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by IgbosNIGHTMARE: 8:49pm On Jun 21, 2023

Mindlog:

I hear that a lot.

Then make it your middle name.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Patiks: 8:52pm On Jun 21, 2023

talented321:
If i never had problem with her parents why will she have problem with my parents.
Beside if my mother is the one worrying her, then my wife has to tell me because i know how to handle the issue, the one reason she will have the guts to retaliate back is when i am not playing my role as a husband to maintain peace. I don't think any woman born by a woman will stress my own mother in my own house, mama comes first not one stranger.

When your wife is a STRANGER to you, you're a gonner!

This is serious! Look at the kind of human beings calling themselves married or aspiring to be married.

God abeg, may my generations never end up with these confused beings as life partners. AMEN!

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Patiks: 8:54pm On Jun 21, 2023

Mindlog:

Then stick to your mama and don't go entangle yourself with "one stranger".

The guy's post shocked me too. No wonder we have countless divorces today.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Patiks: 9:00pm On Jun 21, 2023

talented321:
Madam belike the 'stranger' aspect come pain you, he gats to pain you. As far as i am concern you a stranger and why we are giving your gender side benefit sef is because of the children. You that will pack your things one night and run away when it went sour. You are a stranger.

Dude, grow up or leave mature topics for mature minds.

Did anyone come to your house with a gun, to drag you to marry her? So, your Moma who was once a STRANGER to your father has now become relevant to you?

Your poor and childish reasoning makes one think that your mother did a very poor job of raising a son. I pity the woman that will end up with your type.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by talented321: 9:06pm On Jun 21, 2023

Fish brain, you can go to court if my write up is disturbing your peace, because i canot be replying an irrelevant being like you.

Patiks:

Dude, grow up or leave mature topics for mature minds.

Did anyone come to your house with a gun, to drag you to marry her? So, your Moma who was once a STRANGER to your father has now become relevant to you?

Your poor and childish reasoning makes one think that your mother did a very poor job of raising a son. I pity the woman that will end up with your type.

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Patiks: 9:09pm On Jun 21, 2023

[quote author=slawomir post=123941967]Damnnn niggar

Isoright

Like I will always say

Before I marry any woman I must ensure my mom and her live together for nine months in a rented apartment
Totally different from my own apartment

If they can cope together

Then boom I wll go ahead and do the marriage thing [/quote

Abeg, where una dey get all these una two for 1j women dey marry? No wonder, people when don ment full Nairaland.

So, a well bred, well to do, God-fearing lady will live with your mother in a rented apartment just to marry an insecure, self delusional broke ass?

Una don ment for this zoo. Abeg, time to quit Nairaland before I Jon una de kolo too.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Mindlog: 9:11pm On Jun 21, 2023

IgbosNIGHTMARE:

Then make it your middle name.

I earn from hearing it regularly.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Patiks: 9:12pm On Jun 21, 2023

talented321:
Fish brain, you can go to court if my write up is disturbing your peace, because i canot be replying an irrelevant being like you.

Demented, self-delusional, half baked fools like you are social menace; and once in a blue moon, someone should be courageous enough to tell them!

Please, feel free to report me to the mods.

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by TempUser: 9:14pm On Jun 21, 2023

lavylilly:
If you like your mother over your wife, there are two possible reasons:

1. You chose the wrong wife.

2. You fail to realize that Mummy won't grow old with you. Choosing a wife means choosing a person with whom to create an intertwined life.

Your mother sent you out into the world. To create a life for yourself. NOT to be her life partner!

Should your father have preferred your paternal grandmother (your dad's mother) over your mother?

No. That's unwell. How would you have felt growing up if Daddy had always preferred Granny above your own Mum? You'd think he was kind of a dick.

Marriage is the forging of a union. You become one with your spouse. Anyone who wants to become one with their parent is sick, and anyone who can't become one with their loving spouse is stunted.

If your wife turned out to be a horrible person, that's another story. It means either she's an amazing liar or you have bad taste. But your mother is not your life partner. You will not grow old with your mummy.

What's most important to remember is that, to Mummy, you'll always be a baby. She remembers you shitting in diapers. She will never be able to experience you fully as the man you are -- and she shouldn't be able to, OBVIOUSLY. If you choose Mummy over your life partner, you may as well be three years old.

if my kid ever chooses me over a high quality partner, I'll have to try hard not to give my kid a big smack upside his head. If my kid can't fully bond with a life partner and is still childish enough to yearn for Mummy instead, y'all know you've failed miserably.

Oh. Last but not least. I find that this mistake is often related to the mistake of not realizing one's spouse is one's primary family member. Your spouse is your most important family member. FYI

You set talk am say HIGH QUALITY PARTNER.

For this naija, e be things! My points still remain valid , and I'm s MOMMYs boy for a good reason. cheesy

1 Like

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Takerisk: 9:15pm On Jun 21, 2023

Just be wise and play along. Never disrespect any of his family members.

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Topshow2010(m): 11:06pm On Jun 21, 2023

God forbid ....I can't tolerate any iota of nonsense from my wife to my siblings not to talk of my parents ;Anyway thank God for my lovely and well trained wife He gave me sha. sad

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by ceejay80s(m): 6:28am On Jun 22, 2023

Kobojunkie:
I am sorry, did the people put a gun to your head to marry the woman or what? Your mom is the problem in that case for approaching your wife after it. She should have approached you instead since you are the one who chose for yourself a woman who would not support you and would come with a dowry.

My mom wasn't the problem, she has every right to protect her son, mothers tell their daughter in law these things, it's not that bad for ur mother to tell ur wife to talk to her parent about bride prices or marriage list, abi if u spend all u have on marriage, una no go chop for house?

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by Onyiiobi7735(m): 7:33am On Jun 22, 2023

ceejay80s:

dont say that, some wives are naturally wickrd and they have a stupid character,
before i got married to my wife, my mom had a conversation with her and asked her wont u support ur husband, the list u people gave my son is much so u will support him, do u know that since then, she hated my mom....most times is not the mothers , there are things they are seeing but u the husband is blinded by love

You have a point, brother.

Re: How Do You Handle It When Your Wife Can’t Stand Your Mother? by lavylilly: 10:20am On Jun 22, 2023

Teymanhenry:
Seed or no seed, I think the man have a role to play. The man should shoe his wife or girlfriend that she can not speak ill or disrespect his mum no matter what. If she loves you, she'll abide by this simple rule

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