Your Answer Could Be Very Useful - Romance - Nairaland
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| Your Answer Could Be Very Useful by specialjude(op): 7:47am On Jul 22, 2023 |
I want to ask, Can you love someone who doesn't love themselves? |
| Re: Your Answer Could Be Very Useful by falcon01: 7:50am On Jul 22, 2023 |
Yes, you just have to convince them they are worth Loving and deserve happiness. Show them what it feels to love and the Value of self love. |
| Re: Your Answer Could Be Very Useful by duro4chang(m): 7:50am On Jul 22, 2023 |
Your question is not clear |
| Re: Your Answer Could Be Very Useful by specialjude(op): 7:58am On Jul 22, 2023 |
Thanks falcon 01. The issue is convincing this person to even love themselves. The more you try to talk them into loving themselves, the more they seem lost. falcon01: |
| Re: Your Answer Could Be Very Useful by specialjude(op): 8:01am On Jul 22, 2023 |
Say for instance, you love this person and getting close to this person, you realize they don't just like themse9. They hate their body, color, height... Everything. How will you handle the situation? How will you make them love their personality? duro4chang: |
| Re: Your Answer Could Be Very Useful by duro4chang(m): 8:13am On Jul 22, 2023 |
specialjude:I want to believe what you mean is that there is someone who you like or want to like but that person doesn't like himself? To me the person has a problem. You can still love or like him or her. Let the person know that he has good quality. Let him know he is important. Let him see himself as someone who is also important. The inferiority complex in him has to be conquered. You can still love him or her. |
| Re: Your Answer Could Be Very Useful by Cassandraloius: 8:19am On Jul 22, 2023 |
Sometimes it comes as a result of depression, make them to feel loved and care for them. The first thing you can do for yourself as a human being is to love yourself first! |
| Re: Your Answer Could Be Very Useful by falcon01: 8:39am On Jul 22, 2023 |
specialjude:Do your path, show them love and They'll realise it. But if you get tired and discover that person is lost, you can leave them people. Some people are way to gone to be saved. |
| Re: Your Answer Could Be Very Useful by specialjude(op): 9:26am On Jul 22, 2023 |
falcon01:@falcon01, thanks so much. |
| Re: Your Answer Could Be Very Useful by pansophist(m): 10:25am On Jul 22, 2023*. Modified: 10:43am On Jul 22, 2023 |
Yes, you can always love a person that doesn't love him/herself, just that you, the lover, will be burdened by their inability to love themselves. So expect them to be only happy when you're actively proving that you love them. Since their self-esteem is externally based (from your constant validation), it makes it easy for you, and others, to manipulate them. You don't want to be with someone that others can easily manipulate due to their insecurities. If you're their partner, youre in a big trouble. They will be your weakest link, and trust the enemy to always spot it. Not loving yourself can be compared to being cripple, you'll always need other people to function well. Your default mode will be sadness, negative energy, and to be around such a person will be burdensome. You don't want to be in a situation where someone else can't be happy without your input. It's bad for both of you. And since they can't love themselves, it also means they can't love you. They can't give what they don't have. And if someone doesn't love you, don't expect them to be empathetic towards you. Relating with your human suffering will be difficult, and even in your lowest state, they still want their usual dosage of love from you. Like a child, his mother being sick doesn't release her from the obligation to take care of him. For a child, it's understable. He is young and full of potential. But if life unfortunate circumstances happens to you, you'll still carry the obligation to show love to such an adult that doesn't love him/herself. It's a tragedy. An adult or a child, an idiot or a wise man, a thief or righteous man all needs food for example. But if one can't hustle and feed themselves, they become a burden to those that can. It's the same dynamic with not loving yourself. Also, don't confuse the intense feeling towards you by someone that doesn't love themselves with love. Their feeling is tied to their need to feel better. If you travelled for example and someone's else give them that feeling, they can easily migrate Most importantly, you can't love someone that doesn't love themselves in the right way because love is a combination of stick and carrot. Loving you doesn't mean I must always reward you with carrot, it also mean I can always punish you with a stick to make you better. A person that doesn't love himself will only appreciate your love when you give them carrot. So when you tell them how awesome they are, give money, then it's perfectly okay and the only way they understand love. Now give them the stick by tell them that it in their hand to resurrect themselves from their predicament, then you might come off as a hater. After all, they only approach life from the external. So loving a person that doesn't love themselves is unsustainable, and both of you will suffer. Iron sharpens iron, but iron destroys wood, which makes the iron rusty afterwards. The lover is the iron, the person that can't love themselves is the wood. |
| Re: Your Answer Could Be Very Useful by specialjude(op): 8:44pm On Jul 22, 2023 |
Wow, this so insightful. Thanks so much for your response @pansophist pansophist: |
| Re: Your Answer Could Be Very Useful by frozen70(f): 12:57am On Jul 24, 2023 |
specialjude:Their must be a reason for that person to luck up himself or herself without love Even as you love that person, are you getting the same live back to yourself |
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