Tired Of My Child’s Dad - Family (2)

Tired Of My Child’s Dad - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by OBIDIENTNAIJA: 1:13pm On Aug 13, 2023

Hmm

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by SemperFid: 1:13pm On Aug 13, 2023

When he drinks so much like that just carry him and go and bury him and all problems solved.

Or when he's drunk, find one recreational substance, pour overdose of it in his drink, he will sleep and never wake up. Case closed.

2 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by humberjade: 1:13pm On Aug 13, 2023

Just one question for you, is your stay in the country tied to his own documents, or you had your legal documents before you met him?

1 Like

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by OBIDIENTNAIJA: 1:15pm On Aug 13, 2023

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.

Thank you .

Nlfpmod front page please

Thanks

You opened this account yesterday. Which means you are popular here.
Anyway my advice is for you too have a steady business and financial strength to stand on your own. Maybe, he will regard you.

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Zooposki(f): 1:15pm On Aug 13, 2023

A man will only stay with you if he’s benefitting in some way even though he hates you. Check below on what it is. Once he finds a replacement you are gone, but most are too lazy to look for a replacement and will stay even though their partner is unhappy.

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Emmexguy123: 1:16pm On Aug 13, 2023

Just run away from him now that age is still in your favor.

Since the love you have for him is dead and cannot be rectified because of everything about him, don't waste your time with him anymore because it can only gets worse than you are seeing now.

Your greatest mistake which is not a mistake to some people is allowing him to have you completely without doing the right thing either paying your bride price or introduction to your people depending on your traditions.

As for me, I suggest strongly that you should go.
Someone out there is waiting for you with the heart full of true love and feelings despite what happened before he found you.
Don't waste time anymore.
All you have to do is to respect yourself, be yourself, know what you are supposed to do and always do the right ones.
Above all, be that wife material every good man is praying for and you will realize that everything happens for a reason.

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by dust144(m): 1:16pm On Aug 13, 2023

No remedy, just leave or soonest they will be hospitalization or ......

1 Like

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by TGreatGatsby: 1:16pm On Aug 13, 2023

I am one that believes "marriage b4 child bearing/ co-habitting"

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by ollybasa: 1:17pm On Aug 13, 2023

Please try meet with your parents, open up to your parent, bring yourself down and meet with ur parents.

1 Like

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Damntruth(m): 1:18pm On Aug 13, 2023

You sold your brain due to Good sex, and he cannot maintain that you want to opt-out. You can leave because you are not legally married what you doing now is out of God's plan.for the fact that you are not married means both of you are committing fornication.to see God's intervention you must separate first.no matte the light of changes you experience once you are still there things would get worst.

2 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by AndroBlaze: 1:18pm On Aug 13, 2023

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.

Thank you .

Nlfpmod front page please

Thanks

I'll keep it simple, your relationship with this man cannot bring you happiness unless the guy has some sort of rebirth/ transformation which we know will not happen.

You live in the UK, so you have no excuse to say you cannot start over again and to be playing the sympathy card of being a single parent.

Aunty the faster you take your life into your hands, the faster you will be happy again.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by legba1(m): 1:18pm On Aug 13, 2023

Puss360:
Wahala.. if all these are present, then what actually attracted you to him?? I'm very sure it's not money... Is it sex?? What exactly?

Just file for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences....
Rent a small apartment, and go with the child...
Move on...
Don't involve his family or your family...as the case is, you don't need dialogue, you don't need "To exercise patience", you need space!!!
Move on...
He can come visit his kid...
But you move on... There are other men out there who are better than him in everything including the Sex aspect... Check well

Case Dismissed...
Next Case Please...

File for divorce bi ti bawo.. they are not even married..

1 Like

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Romanoff(f): 1:18pm On Aug 13, 2023

The first value or lesson you should teach your daughter if you have one is self worth. If your daughter has self worth, she's 80% set for life.

With all the red flags aunty mentioned above, she still hasn't done the needful.

Ladies out there, stop fornicating and value yourself.

7 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Mase2020g(m): 1:19pm On Aug 13, 2023

You can't blame him

The economic situation can make you jack of all trade

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Brownvj(m): 1:20pm On Aug 13, 2023

See how life can be funny..I am hoping I get someone who can be avergely hardworking like you,and here you are,battling with someone who totally doesn't have a direction to his career path.Well,would advice you move on and let him be your past..Your child deserves the best of life ahead.I wish I could

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by UnfairLife7(m): 1:20pm On Aug 13, 2023

Leave right away and start your life afresh. Take your child to your mum to help you look after.

1 Like

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by guywitzerogal(m): 1:21pm On Aug 13, 2023

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.

Thank you .

Nlfpmod front page please

Thanks

sister pls just forget about the bride price and move on with your life, if he can’t respect you even when you two aren’t married you think he will respect you after marriage….it’s not too late to rearrange your life unless there is something else you aren’t tell us.

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by omooba969(m): 1:21pm On Aug 13, 2023

Puss360:
Wahala.. if all these are present, then what actually attracted you to him?? I'm very sure it's not money... Is it sex?? What exactly?

Just file for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences....
Rent a small apartment, and go with the child...
Move on...
Don't involve his family or your family...as the case is, you don't need dialogue, you don't need "To exercise patience", you need space!!!
Move on...
He can come visit his kid...
But you move on... There are other men out there who are better than him in everything including the Sex aspect... Check well

Case Dismissed...
Next Case Please...

@bolded,
Delusion at its finest.

Will you give the same advice if the man were your blood brother or biological son?

Honest answer please!

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Ikennablue(m): 1:22pm On Aug 13, 2023

Babe1994:
not really.. I guess I just feel ashamed of the situation I’m in. But then I ask myself how hard will it be to find someone else.. especially with a child?

for you to be thinking this way, you are already loosing your self worth. Come out first from that situation and focus on yourself and career. Give yourself some break from men and concentrate more on yourself and career. Trust me you'll find a better man even with your baby

1 Like

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by ade4real2016: 1:23pm On Aug 13, 2023

Some people here might not really understand what this guy's marriage to ya really translate to...He's Not in anyway interested in d marriage.....My candid advice,end d marriage n move on with ya life...Ya stand a beautiful chance of meeting a fantastic guy in d near future...

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Brownvj(m): 1:23pm On Aug 13, 2023

There are no saints or Mr perfect anywhere in the globe but when you see who is seriously ready to shape your life and help direct your goals,it's proper,we acknowledge such people cos they are rare Gem and ought to be held closely to the heart.Advice:Equally work on your verbal words as,when spilled off from anger,it could be dangerous aftermath the cooling time.

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by mozona(m): 1:23pm On Aug 13, 2023

Since you live in abroad before, I guess you still have your papers, and friends and family there.

Abeg find money comot for house leave am and and move aboard asap.

Change your life change your destiny.

Am telling from experience and the experience is from father and son, the guy has to leave cos he has friends and family there without his father knowing.

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by InvertedHammer: 1:24pm On Aug 13, 2023

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.

Thank you .

Nlfpmod front page please

Thanks

/

Life is all about choices. Bad choice; bad outcomes.

Sometimes it is a waste of time and effort to advise people because they can only learn the hard way.

You dug yourself into a mess and only you can get yourself out of it if you so desire.

/

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by SILVERLINES: 1:25pm On Aug 13, 2023

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.

Thank you .

Nlfpmod front page please

Thanks

If you have a proper finance relocate to another state and start ur life afresh. You life is not safe there niether ur future is guaranteed.
If you have money relocate to Port Harcourt, that's where you can start life with a little financial plan. Here houses are easier affordable.

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Tajbol4splend(m): 1:25pm On Aug 13, 2023

Why did you marry him in the first place?

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Jewessgratitud3: 1:25pm On Aug 13, 2023*

Aunty, all these things you're trying to point out to appear innocent and oblivious of his behavior are all medicine after death. I put it to you that you knew half of the time that he was not the responsible type but because you were taken over by your desires for him, you went ahead to open your legs and got pregnant for him. And please don't even form novice here by saying you were blinded by the fact that he was a church worker. You and I know that no real born again christian brother will have sex with you to the point of getting you pregnant unless we want to deceive ourselves. Just accept your mistakes and look for solutions.

I'm sure if someone tried to tell you then that you should avoid premarital sex, you'll be like they are old school. Now see what you've gotten yourself into. And thats why the family dont regard you because they believe you gave yourself so cheap. You can't blame them.

My advice to you. Since he has not paid your dowry, you'll be doing yourself more harm than good with your continued stay there and spoil your chances of ever getting married properly. So it is better you leave his son with him, get a place if you can and move in. Look for a job with your certificate and save until you're financially stable. Then you can bring your child back ( if you so wish) because if you go with your baby, you're going to get stuck except your family members are willing to help you look after him and take care of his feeding while you get your bearing. Otherwise, leave him with his father. Maybe that will even make him sit up and get something doing to cater for his responsibility.

Don't make the mistake of moving with that child. Ask single mothers, they'll tell you better.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Apple2: 1:28pm On Aug 13, 2023

Come let me pay you brideprice. I'm working, I'm not just working, I own my firm. I make comfortable money, I look good and I work hard. I have a daughter but I lost her mom. I'm an Easterner. I reside Lagos State, Nigeria. I'm very very nice, trust me I'm nice. Msg me pls. Thank you

1 Like

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Dshocker(m): 1:28pm On Aug 13, 2023

Puss360:
Wahala.. if all these are present, then what actually attracted you to him?? I'm very sure it's not money... Is it sex?? What exactly?

Just file for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences....
Rent a small apartment, and go with the child...
Move on...
Don't involve his family or your family...as the case is, you don't need dialogue, you don't need "To exercise patience", you need space!!!
Move on...
He can come visit his kid...
But you move on... There are other men out there who are better than him in everything including the Sex aspect... Check well

Case Dismissed...
Next Case Please...

After the man has extracted all her nutrient, you are talking of another man falling in love with her...

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Juniorangel(m): 1:29pm On Aug 13, 2023

Take a walk with your kid and never look back, in 2yrs time you will be happy and thankful you did.

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Authur729(m): 1:31pm On Aug 13, 2023

Sorry you have been through a lot God will help you

Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Kobicove(m): 1:32pm On Aug 13, 2023

Ofemmanu1:
Eh?!

Run to Niger!

Na which kind advise be this sef? grin

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Reply

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