Ask that man what he really wants for himself first & then for you and the kid.

Cos a person don’t love another person except they love themself first.

Secondly why is he switching career? His effort wouldn’t amount to anything at the end of the day, he should pick an interest work on it, give it time for it to grow and be successful and he should focus on just on career for atleast a space of 5years.

You as the wife, be a Shoulder to lean on. If he’s battling depression it could be as a result of restoring his self esteem as a man probably he’s being stretched beyond limit trying to provide for the family.

If that’s the case, do what he’s supposed to do as the wife, you’ll see his pride drop and then he wants to seek advice from you on how to go about his life cos he now sees you as his best friend.

Lastly pray fervently so God can speak to your mind.

I'm the right man for you if you believe in word of God.believe in me and let make it reality.

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.



Thank you .

front page please

Thanks

Puss360:
Wahala.. if all these are present, then what actually attracted you to him?? I'm very sure it's not money... Is it sex?? What exactly?

Just file for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences....
Rent a small apartment, and go with the child...
Move on...
Don't involve his family or your family...as the case is, you don't need dialogue, you don't need "To exercise patience", you need space!!!
Move on...
He can come visit his kid...
But you move on... There are other men out there who are better than him in everything including the Sex aspect... Check well

Case Dismissed...
Next Case Please...

File for Divorce on what grounds when there was no marriage ab initio? Just co habiting?

Babe1994:
I’m working, I’m doing averagely okay. I can do better which I’m striving towards at the moment. Having a child really set me back but I’m getting there. The most important thing is that I have money coming in every month and I have a very supportive family.

Good you have a supportive family, double your hustle and look for an affordable apartment because from all indications you will be SOLELY responsible for your child, goodluck and may genuine love find you soonest

Babe1994:
not really.. I guess I just feel ashamed of the situation I’m in. But then I ask myself how hard will it be to find someone else.. especially with a child?

Having child out of wedlock not an issue rather to find a right man whom will love you the way you and ready to pay your bride price..I like subdue loving women with humor,lastly God fearing one too

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.



Thank you .

front page please

Thanks

Sorry ma'am but with all fo this you still want them to talk about bride price and marriage? Marriage isn't about the title it's about purpose. Kindly do yourself a favour and put yourself in order, leave the man t and take care of your kid, live right and a good man will find you. You are still a young woman, don't let desperation put you in a bad situation.
Ashamed for what? If you get harmed in the relationship shame won't matter and whoever tells you that because you have a child no one will be with you is lying to you.
Work on your confidence, tell yourself you're awesome and don't look to anyone for validation, od has already validated you

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.



Thank you .

front page please

Thanks

And newsflash my dear he's not going to leave the "arangee" marriage. First of all never be with a man with a arranged marriage its more than a red flag, me are everywhere.

This story long

debbydams:
babe I'm going tru something similar...I'll share my experience when I'm free

please do and email me please

This is very sad my sister, I mean very sad, but the good thing here is the fact that you finally realized yourself, the prodigal daughter who was feeding on swine food, it time to relocate to your father, first amend your ways with God, and he will guide your path.
And to be very blunt again, life is a way of training a stubborn heart by humbling it to zero level. Not because of anything but because you have shown to be someone who was consumed with erroneous love, and you have turn down some good advised from people bocos of what this man giving, is possible the money, sex and fame is longer there and you're getting fed up with life.
Like I said, you have a second privilege in life to make your way right with God, live this man and move on, by the time you're able to erase his place in your heart, your beauty will be restore both inside and outside, get a job and cater for

fyzaila:


Don't worry about that, you will find someone trust me. Put yourself, get fit and embrace yourself. They're lots of responsible men out there who will accept you wholeheartedly.

don't deceive her.
Do you have the supposed resp.onsible man already made for her?

Catér for your son, you will amazed at how your life will be transform in a year, best wishes

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.



Thank you .

front page please

Thanks

If he can't pay your bride price and do the needful leave his house. It's normal for a man not to buy the full cow if he is getting the cow's milk for free.. You are obviously stuck with an NFA. My sister run oooo. He is not worth marrying at all unless you want to be the bread winner.

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.



Thank you .

front page please

Thanks

Run away; you have no future with the guy. Take your child along and run!
Congratulations if I meet you on the other side.

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.



Thank you .

front page please

Thanks

may I ask this question, if he has not paid your bride price, why do you need a divorce to move out?

Also, if you decide to move out, do you have where to go and the means to?

Puss360:
Wahala.. if all these are present, then what actually attracted you to him?? I'm very sure it's not money... Is it sex?? What exactly?

Just file for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences....
Rent a small apartment, and go with the child...
Move on...
Don't involve his family or your family...as the case is, you don't need dialogue, you don't need "To exercise patience", you need space!!!
Move on...
He can come visit his kid...
But you move on... There are other men out there who are better than him in everything including the Sex aspect... Check well

Case Dismissed...
Next Case Please...

There was never a marriage so what are they divorcing..
No bride price
No wedding
No Court marriage
Watin you wan divorce...
Na to reverse the process way carry you enter

Life is hard! Everyone has one issue or the other!

Babe1994

His bad character isn't the biggest problem.

The biggest problem is having a child to man you're not married to and the second is living together with him.

When the Israelites did not drive out all the Canaanites from the land, Jehovah said they would be a snare to them.

Your baby daddy likewise has become a snare to you. That bab has tied you to him. Your living together simply entrenches the any hold he has over you.

The Bible says if you keep subjecting yourself to someone, you become that owrsons slave

You need to break away. Cut your losses and run. End the relationship and get yoyr own place. You don't have to marry someone simply because you have a baby for him. That is a sad consequence of sex outside marriage. A shotgun wedding isn't the solution.

Be single again and be with your child. Yes, you may be worried your being a single mother gives you a poor chance of finding love again. Yes, it makes it harder but not impossible. Your chances of finding a suitor improves considerable if you are not too attached to tribe, race or financial standing. You focus on a man who can be a good husband.
.
Cut your losses and run. The worst thing is to be tied to someone you don't love.

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.



Thank you .

front page please

Thanks

If yhu've got an actual job, use that as an excuse to get yhurself redeployment or something to a different environment...
Move and leave him behind...

Don't wait till yhu are beaten, he's actually not beaten yhu cos of some laws he'd violate there....

Goodluck and stay safe.

You're still believing in a man who has virtually turned you into a gloried maid and subservient?! I can tell you love this guy but remember never to give everything and do everything for a man, relationship should be give and take.The more you force an unhealthy relationship the worse your situation becomes as a lady.
I advice,You device a plan and get out.
Hopefully ,you will find a good partner or enjoy single parenthood.

At what point will the problem end, when you give him another out of wedlock child? Make a clean break from him and start life afresh.

Ernesthugo:
I Will tell u a quick story all this abroad Nigeria girls many have deep rooted problem that makes them unstable, a clear true story of one i know in Canada have visited MFM PRAYER CITY more than someone in Nigeria, she has a real life spirit husband that will slap the man that comes to her so most times these things happen they have no idea they are dealing with something more super naturals, the truth was later opened ,the babe stepmom did some enchantment on her to make her loose hatred for her own father, in other words for the man to love her own children more, may we not inherit what we do not know, AMEN.

That's scary

As a lady, if a man tells u his relationship status is complicated or separated, RUN biko.....Now, it is like u have a child for a married man..... His/ his family's reluctance coupled with his habits that might not allow him have money to settle off his wife will make the divorce linger unless the marriage stuff is in Nigeria then, he can be free for you soon..... He needs help in many areas.... Are u ready to wait for him?

Work on yourself and men will rush u, at worst widowers or divorced ( fully) or single men with kid/s..... But, everything marriage is on earth, so just pick in life what will make u happy as sometimes, men with kids can even make u more fulfilled than the ones without kids, if that's your fear, whenever you find love again after first finding yourself.

Puss360:
Wahala.. if all these are present, then what actually attracted you to him?? I'm very sure it's not money... Is it sex?? What exactly?

Just file for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences....
Rent a small apartment, and go with the child...
Move on...
Don't involve his family or your family...as the case is, you don't need dialogue, you don't need "To exercise patience", you need space!!!
Move on...
He can come visit his kid...
But you move on... There are other men out there who are better than him in everything including the Sex aspect... Check well

Case Dismissed...
Next Case Please...

Which divorce should she file for when they are not married?

Dear S.N.A,

You did not grow up abroad nor have you ever left Nigeria. There have never been an arranged married or any form and you are not married.

Please tell your truth or the truth.

First, explain to these strangers how you are still shocked that he has remind silent with everything, refused to speak up to your colleague when asked to know what's happening just so he don't build an uncomfortable work environment for you but since you've decided to bring this to an open space, please tell these straingers the truth.

Tell them about your continues infidelity for 7years starting from your lecturer to pass his course.

Tell them that you have refused to take your 5year old son to your parents, your parents don't know you have a child. You kept telling him you'll do it every december for the past 5years.

Tell them the truth, the father of that child is not a drunk, a gambler nor does he even have any addiction or drug habbits. Isn't this funny? Please include that you do drugs not just weed but crack (meth) a habbit I still don't know how you and your friend where able to finance. He threatened to tell your elder sister if you don't stop and you've always used trying to loose weight as an excuse to why you do drugs with your best friend. Again, please modify to correct that your son's father does not do drugs nor approve such lifestyle, i'll appreciate the honesty.

Tell them the truth that your son's father is a simple man, be honest enough.

Tell them the truth, that he has supported you with every breathe in him till you got a job and when low self esteem didnt let you face your job he put his life on hold and came to support you again looking after you and your son, doing laundry and cooking for you without complaining because your job is too tasking and you needed help till you could associate and find balance then he returned back to his house.

Tell them the truth, when your life picked up, he had financial crises for 5months from independently taking care of his sisters and conducting his fathers burial yet he still wasn't an asshole to you.

Tell them you spent a whole week in a mans house in your curent state of residence while you lied to him that you where in your friend Mrs.Bim's house becuase your house had a lickage that your landlord needed to fix.

Tell them that he skipped sending you upkeep money for his son just one month, same month he buried his dad and you unprovokedly insulted the living shit out of his life and dragged him for a 100k dept in owed you during the process of planning his fathers burial.

Tell them you did the same unprovoked 2months later and that was when he cut you off. Tell them that when you noticed his freelancing career had picked up again you started trying to reconnect by using his son to blackmail him and he kept blocking you.

Tell them the truth, tell them that you have refused to accept a patanity test for 4 out of the 5years you've had this child. If you must be terrible enough to bring this to an open space, uphold it in light of truth.

Tell them that he has always allowed you had your way with everything you wanted to do and you'v taken it as a weakness that you've always ridden on.

No family or friend of his disrespect nor ask when you'll be having another child. Who would when you aren't married ? Please, kindly explain to them why you still aren't married. Please, tell the truth.

Tell them that you follow %98 percent of single mom's and feminist on social media and your role model is Blessing C.E.O, Tonto Dike, iyabo ojo and their likes (no disrespect to them please) .

It's been 3months since both partie parted ways, his only request has been that you let your parents know the child exist and he will not send anymore child support until you do so. He didn't make a simple drama nor contacted you or anyone for any sort of issues. He simply continued his life without defaming you in anyway and I believe you should do same.

MEN MOST TIMES DON'T SPEAKUP AND SOME WOMEN USE THAT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO DEFAME THEM.

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.



Thank you .

front page please

Thanks

Babe1994:
Hi
I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.

Thank you .

front page please

Thanks

This story is fiction. There are many tell tale sentences that points to that. But I will pretend it's true along with you.
If I drive onto a train track and my car stalls with a train approaching, will you as a passenger, sit int he car and berate me for not being responsible with maintenance or you will open the door and get out of the car?
That's the answer to all the long story you wrote.

You are fool of yourself, you think highly of yourself above him, but remember you willingly walked into the relationship. You used all the intelligence and brains you had (have) and settled with him.

You did not get married to him, but proceeded to have a child for him. You are nothing but a baby mama, even to yourself. And if the story of living abroad is true, you just want to feed fat from the child support and government welfare like most unmarried parents do in the abroad.

He is a dead beat. So are you. He is not hardworking and a bum - nothing stops you from being the strong woman and live your life. Remember all those Boss Lady vibes you all post online?

You dragged his family into the mud with him (because they are a bunch of morons), but from your story, your own family have done nothing to help you. If i had a sister in a shitty relationship, I know without asking, my folks and my siblings will get her out of the predicament. We rally around our own.

He committed marriage fraud, while he was a worker in church, and you opened both eyes wide and settled with him.

You have made a lot of bad decisions as a person. You are the person that reduced yourself to nothing. You haven't even seen yourself, before you accuse others of seeing you finish.

It's time for you to open the car door and get out before the train wreck.

You’ve got the wrong person sir. I have no idea about what you’re talking about. Thank you .

Ojo69:
Dear S.N.A,

You did not grow up abroad nor have you ever left Nigeria. There have never been an arranged married or any form and you are not married.

Please tell your truth or the truth.

First, explain to these strangers how you are still shocked that he has remind silent with everything, refused to speak up to your colleague when asked to know what's happening just so he don't build an uncomfortable work environment for you but since you've decided to bring this to an open space, please tell these straingers the truth.

Tell them about your continues infidelity for 7years starting from your lecturer to pass his course.

Tell them that you have refused to take your 5year old son to your parents, your parents don't know you have a child. You kept telling him you'll do it every december for the past 5years.

Tell them the truth, the father of that child is not a drunk, a gambler nor does he even have any addiction or drug habbits. Isn't this funny? Please include that you do drugs not just weed but crack (meth) a habbit I still don't know how you and your friend where able to finance. He threatened to tell your elder sister if you don't stop and you've always used trying to loose weight as an excuse to why you do drugs with your best friend. Again, please modify to correct that your son's father does not do drugs nor approve such lifestyle, i'll appreciate the honesty.

Tell them the truth that your son's father is a simple man, be honest enough.

Tell them the truth, that he has supported you with every breathe in him till you got a job and when low self esteem didnt let you face your job he put his life on hold and came to support you again looking after you and your son, doing laundry and cooking for you without complaining because your job is too tasking and you needed help till you could associate and find balance then he returned back to his house.

Tell them the truth, when your life picked up, he had financial crises for 5months from independently taking care of his sisters and conducting his fathers burial yet he still wasn't an asshole to you.

Tell them you spent a whole week in a mans house in your curent state of residence while you lied to him that you where in your friend Mrs.Bim's house becuase your house had a lickage that your landlord needed to fix.

Tell them that he skipped sending you upkeep money for his son just one month, same month he buried his dad and you unprovokedly insulted the living shit out of his life and dragged him for a 100k dept in owed you during the process of planning his fathers burial.

Tell them you did the same unprovoked 2months later and that was when he cut you off. Tell them that when you noticed his freelancing career had picked up again you started trying to reconnect by using his son to blackmail him and he kept blocking you.

Tell them the truth, tell them that you have refused to accept a patanity test for 4 out of the 5years you've had this child. If you must be terrible enough to bring this to an open space, uphold it in light of truth.

Tell them that he has always allowed you had your way with everything you wanted to do and you'v taken it as a weakness that you've always ridden on.

No family or friend of his disrespect nor ask when you'll be having another child. Who would when you aren't married ? Please, kindly explain to them why you still aren't married. Please, tell the truth.

Tell them that you follow %98 percent of single mom's and feminist on social media and your role model is Blessing C.E.O, Tonto Dike, iyabo ojo and their likes (no disrespect to them please) .

It's been 3months since both partie parted ways, his only request has been that you let your parents know the child exist and he will not send anymore child support until you do so. He didn't make a simple drama nor contacted you or anyone for any sort of issues. He simply continued his life without defaming you in anyway and I believe you should do same.

MEN MOST TIMES DON'T SPEAKUP AND SOME WOMEN USE THAT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO DEFAME THEM.