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My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by Nobody: 12:40pm On Apr 09, 2015
classicQueen

you should be glad he opened up not every guy have the courage to,he cares about you hence his action... some guys are so harden and wicked that they won't tell you till they've hook you with marriage,some are worse that you'll have to find out yourself.

his action just gave you options to choose from,not every girl gets so lucky.Don't loose him.


I don't see any problem marrying a single parent though ,so long you both are in love**just saying **
Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by Kingsasian(m): 12:52pm On Apr 09, 2015
I see nothing wrong with marrying a single parent provided he loves and cherish u and also honest with u. Check out if he has any other ties with his baby mama aside the child.
Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by rolled: 1:20pm On Apr 09, 2015
What is Love?
The way people use the word gets me amazed oh
Did u say he can do anything for you even if it makes him...?
You really don't understand life yet

3 Likes

Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by NifemiOlu(m): 1:27pm On Apr 09, 2015
Why are some people saying the guy lied? Am I missing something in the post? The discussion about his past never took place, does it make it a lie? If she had asked in the past, and the guy had said no, then that's a lie. He kept a secret because he doesn't want to lose her and now he has come to disclose it.
OP, you need to sit down with this guy and you guys should figure out a plan that works. The child's age is also important in any of your plans. If the guy loves you, he must make sacrifices too because it's not easy to integrate a child born out of wedlock into another marriage.
Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by Daresh(f): 2:12pm On Apr 09, 2015
Look on the bright side, there won't be pressure on you to hve kids at the beginning of your marriage and you hold the cards in this relationship. Please be kind to the child , he did nothing wrong.

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by samtol4(m): 5:27pm On Apr 09, 2015
jnrbayano:
3years? and he just revealed this to you?

Well as a human I should worry about this. Try to find out all about the baby's mum. Her whereabouts, family, occupation and more importantly, why they broke up in the first place.

I believe those information will guide you better.

I have the gut feeling some secret are still kept away.
Haba ...she has no business with baby'mum !what is her business with d lady"s occupation?.@op Face your fiancé and prayer fully take your decision.Don't leave God out of your marital decision .True love is all about Forgiveness and Tolerance .
Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by Nobody: 8:14pm On Apr 10, 2015
ClassicQueen:

I and my Fiance have known each other for three years now...so we decided to talk about us i asked him deep questions about himself that was when he told me that he once got a lady pregnant and she refused to abort the child so decide to have the baby. He said the child is with his mom in his village but promise it wont affect us or our marriage if we finally settle down and that i will be the one to decide if the child should stay with us or not. I asked him why he hid the secret from me since cry cry cry and he said he was scared of losing me and felt this is the right time to tell me... undecided undecided undecided i felt bad and also had the feeling he is keeping other secret from me he assured me that he has no other secret. sad sad sad

I have never in my life imagine getting married to someone who already have a child, a Divorcee or a Second wife though i know this case is different but i have always wanted to start afresh with my man. I know we all make mistakes at one point in our lives...... smiley smiley

Nairalanders please advise me thanks. embarassed

I decided to post this topic on this section because i am very sure of getting matured response. smiley
guy, never ever tell any lady your deepest secrets, cos she would use it against u someday. My gf always ask me to tell her my deepest secrets, but she never gets any, she even asked me to tell her if I've cheated on her, all my answers were no! If by any chance I tell her, even though she swore never to get angry or to forgive me, I will regret that for the rest of my life cos she will never cease to use that against me at the slightest opportunity and may never forgive me.

Am sure this OP promised her fiance never to get angry, and here she is postin same topic on NL.

Trust no woman with secrets bro!!!
Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by Nobody: 7:59am On Apr 14, 2015
Hello all i knew it will be bad if i didnt update you all on the latest. Guess what? My Fiance just told me that he was pulling my legs angry angry angry angry angry angry shocked shocked shocked shocked can u imagine? i felt like punching his face!!!

Honestly i am very happy that it was a lie after all though i was already thinking of how i was going to be a step-mother...but mehnnn thank God it is not true smiley smiley smiley smiley wink winki am so happy jare at least no side Baby Mama kiss kiss kiss kiss no other child except mine in future kiss kiss kiss etc


Thanks pals you all are the bomb...catch ya later wink wink wink wink wink wink #teamstartafreshwithmyman#teamclassicqueenandbabe# wink wink wink wink wink wink kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss smiley smiley smiley
Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by pickabeau1: 10:10am On Apr 14, 2015


ClassicQueen: xxxxxx
Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by Dheartless: 10:19am On Apr 14, 2015
I can't decide for you which to do, whether to continue with the relationship or quit.
but I can tell you that if you decide to marry him you should treat his son nicely, in fact you must treat his son nicely.
Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by arck1: 3:01pm On Apr 14, 2015
ClassicQueen:
Hello all i knew it will be bad if i didnt update you all on the latest. Guess what? My Fiance just told me that he was pulling my legs angry angry angry angry angry angry shocked shocked shocked shocked can u imagine? i felt like punching his face!!!

Honestly i am very happy that it was a lie after all though i was already thinking of how i was going to be a step-mother...but mehnnn thank God it is not true smiley smiley smiley smiley wink winki am so happy jare at least no side Baby Mama kiss kiss kiss kiss no other child except mine in future kiss kiss kiss etc


Thanks pals you all are the bomb...catch ya later wink wink wink wink wink wink #teamstartafreshwithmyman#teamclassicqueenandbabe# wink wink wink wink wink wink kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss smiley smiley smiley


Are you really sure it was a lie?
Girl you need serious background check #gaskia

2 Likes

Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by Nobody: 8:26am On Jan 14, 2016
arck1:



Are you really sure it was a lie?
Girl you need serious background check #gaskia
I think he was really joking. smiley smiley smiley
Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by Appynez: 12:01pm On Aug 18, 2023
Ok I understand how this confusing this can be, I have been in a similar situation,I still am as a Matter of facts.
I sort advice from my friends and sisters infact honestly it took me time to digest it, I had been dating my guy for a year plus, 1 day He took me to go see his Family, His older brother and wife, His Mom and younger brother, but before we got there, He took me to a restaurant and told me how He had a son when he just finished secondary school but that He was too young to marry and the girl was older than He was and bla bla bla but He and His Family took full responsibility for the child and He does till now, I felt heartbroken "a Son" not even a girl, God I thought of my own kids future if I eventually marry him,I swear I almost bursted with anger for him lying about it till then but for Love
I finally followed him to see his Family after much plea and His elder brother gave us a lecture telling me He understood my fears and that the Family will always stand by me if I had any difficulties I should let them know
I won't lie I left him for months to clear my head and be sure, but we're back together now because I feel I should not leave a man who loves me as much as I love him just cus of my insecurities
I trust that when we eventually marry and I have my own kids for him, He'll make the right decisions as regards us, I pray for Gods guidance in every challenge I may face in future
Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by Saccharine: 1:54pm On Aug 18, 2023
Appynez:
Ok I understand how this confusing this can be, I have been in a similar situation,I still am as a Matter of facts.
I sort advice from my friends and sisters infact honestly it took me time to digest it, I had been dating my guy for a year plus, 1 day He took me to go see his Family, His older brother and wife, His Mom and younger brother, but before we got there, He took me to a restaurant and told me how He had a son when he just finished secondary school but that He was too young to marry and the girl was older than He was and bla bla bla but He and His Family took full responsibility for the child and He does till now, I felt heartbroken "a Son" not even a girl, God I thought of my own kids future if I eventually marry him,I swear I almost bursted with anger for him lying about it till then but for Love
I finally followed him to see his Family after much plea and His elder brother gave us a lecture telling me He understood my fears and that the Family will always stand by me if I had any difficulties I should let them know
I won't lie I left him for months to clear my head and be sure, but we're back together now because I feel I should not leave a man who loves me as much as I love him just cus of my insecurities
I trust that when we eventually marry and I have my own kids for him, He'll make the right decisions as regards us, I pray for Gods guidance in every challenge I may face in future

This is deceit though and emotional blackmail.
Being a single parent is not a crime , he should have been upfront about it to enable you choose early on in the relationship, if it's what you want.

The main issue is that there was a massive lie by omission. Big red flag. Would he have stayed with you if you did same? That's what should guide you.

He should be proud of his son , no matter the circumstances of his birth..I would not trust a person who has hidden a whole child away.

A new partner should be informed immediately so they also get to know the child and bond especially if the child will live with you. If you feel insecure, it is not the child's fault.. Next thing this child won't be treated well.

See, you are not a bad person if you choose not to further a relationship because the person has a child. It's not everyone that can do it. Be honest with yourself And if you cannot, walk away.
It is better than maltreating the boy later on. Not saying that you would but once you start having double mind and reservations, better to dip.
Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by frozen70(f): 5:11am On Aug 19, 2023

I and my Fiance have known each other for three years now...so we decided to talk about us i asked him deep questions about himself that was when he told me that he once got a lady pregnant and she refused to abort the child so decide to have the baby. He said the child is with his mom in his village but promise it wont affect us or our marriage if we finally settle down and that i will be the one to decide if the child should stay with us or not. I asked him why he hid the secret from me since cry cry cry and he said he was scared of losing me and felt this is the right time to tell me... undecided undecided undecided i felt bad and also had the feeling he is keeping other secret from me he assured me that he has no other secret. sad sad sad

I have never in my life imagine getting married to someone who already have a child, a Divorcee or a Second wife though i know this case is different but i have always wanted to start afresh with my man. I know we all make mistakes at one point in our lives...... smiley smiley

Nairalanders please advise me thanks. embarassed

I decided to post this topic on this section because i am very sure of getting matured response. smiley

Honestly you have nothing to worry about

He wasn't married to his mother so there is nothing like second wife

If you kedeep down that you love this guy, go ahead with the relationship, all you need is an assurance that he will place your children where he places that child in his life

But take note that, anything he is acquiring both of your names will have to be there because of tomorrow

So that don't labour in vain or struggle any property with anyone

As for that child be prepared to carry that child along because of posterity
Re: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by Nice2023(m): 5:54am On Aug 19, 2023
Go and find out more so that,it won't be that he was married before.

Take it as a duty...love alone is not enough.






I and my Fiance have known each other for three years now...so we decided to talk about us i asked him deep questions about himself that was when he told me that he once got a lady pregnant and she refused to abort the child so decide to have the baby. He said the child is with his mom in his village but promise it wont affect us or our marriage if we finally settle down and that i will be the one to decide if the child should stay with us or not. I asked him why he hid the secret from me since cry cry cry and he said he was scared of losing me and felt this is the right time to tell me... undecided undecided undecided i felt bad and also had the feeling he is keeping other secret from me he assured me that he has no other secret. sad sad sad

I have never in my life imagine getting married to someone who already have a child, a Divorcee or a Second wife though i know this case is different but i have always wanted to start afresh with my man. I know we all make mistakes at one point in our lives...... smiley smiley

Nairalanders please advise me thanks. embarassed

I decided to post this topic on this section because i am very sure of getting matured response. smiley

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