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I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' - Family - Nairaland

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My Fiance Has A Child Out Of Wedlock. But Kept It A Secret From Me. / I Am Beginning To Despise My Parents... Am I Overreacting? / I Am Beginning To Hate My Mother!!! (2) (3) (4)

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I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by iamNotAlone(f): 8:36am On Jul 21, 2016
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

18 Likes 6 Shares

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 8:41am On Jul 21, 2016
Do u also AV to WOrk as hard in making the family see him for who he really is? Since family acceptance mean alot.

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nightie(f): 8:46am On Jul 21, 2016
Hmmm. Dnt knw much abt relationships. Wish I cn give u an advice, bt av gat ntin to say.

8 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by thorpido(m): 8:58am On Jul 21, 2016
iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it. I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do
By using your legs......as in walk away.
If you really think the relationship makes you unhappy and is choking you,simply let him know you can't continue that way.You've got a possessive guy and he won't change.I wonder what marriage will be like with someone like that.
As for your family,let them shout.You're the one who's going to be in the marriage anyway.A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.Simply let them know it won't work.

157 Likes 9 Shares

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Evacroft: 9:02am On Jul 21, 2016
Well, As for me I will say call a spade a spade, leave him and don't try working on the relationship. I was once in ur shoes. Pple wouldn't even believe he is bad untill I made them to start seeing the real him.
He will drain u of all ur inner securities, and they never change. Once u see a lousy man or an overly quiet one double check before going neck deep.
The truth is he loves u,but in a very wrong way,and mark my words he will abuse u both physically and emotionally with time cos he himself is not stable emotionally. Has he started been manipulative? He will and will also blackmail u emotionally. Talk to friends and family 'bout him they will help u thru it. Best of luck.

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Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by ULSHERLAN(m): 9:05am On Jul 21, 2016
Alot of ladies out there are dying to have their guys all around them but here we have someone who thinks he is choking her. Well he could be choking you and i think you probably gave him reasons not to trust you and that's why he has been checking your phones to connect some dots. To even think that you wanna tell you parents about this means you have a back up plan already. Anyways my dear, Youarealone in this

202 Likes 13 Shares

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by veave(f): 9:08am On Jul 21, 2016
Walk baby, walk...

2 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by infogenius(m): 9:09am On Jul 21, 2016
iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

My dear these are warning signs of a bad marriage ahead.
I will advice you opt out the relationship. But how you may ask.

I don't want you to mince words about this at all.

Tell your people about him, share your fears and what you
are going through with your mother and tell her your resolution.
Of course to WALK AWAY.

Next, tell him when you are together in clear language
that you want to move on and let him know your reasons
and your fears.

The truth is that you may be entering a death trap if you
do not make moves about the dissolution of this relationship now and end up marrying
him.

A broken relationship is way ahead better than an abusive and
broken marriage.
Marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not endured so think twice.

You cannot continue with this relationship i must admit.

20 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by veave(f): 9:12am On Jul 21, 2016
ULSHERLAN:
Alot of ladies out there are dying to have their guys all around them but here we have someone who thinks he is choking her. Well he could be choking you and i think you probably gave him reasons not to trust you and that's why he has been checking your phones to connect some dots. To even think that you wanna tell you parents about this means you have a back up plan already. Anyways my dear, Youarealone in this


What kinda dumb advice is this? He has too much time on his hands. Only a jobless person would be following a woman upandan.

63 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by NigAmbassador: 9:14am On Jul 21, 2016
To be candid, u are just being selfish in trying to paint him black. You never pointed out his great and awesome attitude towards to you.

This happens when a woman got too much of attention from other "hit&run” guys, who just reAlly want to bed her @ all cost.

Go ahead and leave him, go meet ur back up plans..... You will really desire him back, then it will be fucking late for you dear

Wolfe

131 Likes 10 Shares

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by greatgod2012(f): 9:15am On Jul 21, 2016
This is my problem with some people, you're already seeing the red light, yet, you chose to continue because of what people and your family will say, are they the one that is getting married to him? Are they the one that will be with him till death do them part? He who wears the shoes, know where it pinches, if you're nor comfortable with the relationship, simply walk away, a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.

Forget about what anyone will say, people will always talk anyway, it's better they talk now and later praise you later for taking a bold step in securing marital peace.


A choking relationship will automatically lead to a choking marriage, by then, your life would have almost turned miserable.


TAKE A WALK DEAR, LIFE WILL NOT COLLAPSE BECAUSE OF YOUR THAT.


One more thing, let him know your reason for walking away, it will do both of you some good and bring sanity to your marital life.

22 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by ULSHERLAN(m): 9:16am On Jul 21, 2016
veave:



What kinda dumb advice is this? He has too much time on his hands. Only a jobless person would be following a woman upandan.



Hearing from the lady alone makes whatever advice you give her dumb. She is just looking for reasons to dump a dude for another dude. I don't expect you to know this

113 Likes 7 Shares

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Evacroft: 9:22am On Jul 21, 2016
NigAmbassador:
To be candid, u are just being selfish in trying to paint him black. You never pointed out his great and awesome attitude towards to you.

This happens when a woman got too much of attention from other "hit&run” guys, who just reAlly want to bed her @ all cost.

Go ahead and leave him, go meet ur back up plans..... You will really desire him back, then it will be fucking late for you dear

Wolfe
Lies,nobody desires to have back a dirty gabbage, we all wanna love and be loved back. Do u know that even if ur parent trails ur movements and are all over u all tr time u might probably feel chocked. She will never regret leaving a possessive partner. It brings nofin but heartache. U can pray for a partner like that and come back to nairaland to tell us stories that touch.

10 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 9:27am On Jul 21, 2016
I hate threads like this, they know the problem and the solution but still ask for advice, you can't complain when you have an option.

8 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 9:32am On Jul 21, 2016
iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.

He is possessive, doesn't necessarily mean he does not love you.

iamNotAlone:
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.

The fact that he is a jealous and possessive lover does not mean he is not capable of treating you right in public or in private.
iamNotAlone:
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

Please explain what you mean by the emboldened, is it that you have painted him to be who he is not to the members of your family or what?
iamNotAlone:
This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone.

All these are signs of insecurity, while i am not in support of his attitudes, have you also taken your time to have a tête-à-tête with him, have you tried to understand your man's love language? Men can be really funny at times and you will be surprised at your findings when you have a heart-to-heart convo with him.

iamNotAlone:
I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.

You are the one in the relationship, you know where the shoe pinches, you are the one that will say "I do forever" to the guy in question, so put aside what your family members will think or say. But, trust me my dear, the grass is not always greener on the other side, your relationship with him still has a very good chance of survival.
iamNotAlone:
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

After all said and done, we can only but proffer advise, the final decision lies in your hands, BE WISE MY SISTER!!!

65 Likes 11 Shares

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 9:39am On Jul 21, 2016
iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do
My dear, please leave him.

3 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by TV01(m): 9:42am On Jul 21, 2016
...unfiancé him...sharply!

TV

1 Like

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Melahou(m): 9:44am On Jul 21, 2016
And what makes him to suspect you....is there something you are doing
or a suspicious impression you put up or display that makes him to suspect you?

Anyway why complain that he`s always around you, if he`s not always around you
then who will. Besides if you both get married tomorrow will you stay in separate houses?

I think there is more to it...I`ll like to hear his own side of the story cos there`s no smoke
without fire.


WHEN LADIES COMPLAIN LIKE THIS IT`S AN INDICATION THAT THEY ARE TIRED
OF THE RELATIONSHIP

47 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by veave(f): 9:47am On Jul 21, 2016
ULSHERLAN:


Hearing from the lady alone makes whatever advice you give her dumb. She is just looking for reasons to dump a dude for another dude. I don't expect you to know this



So you now in her mind. Dont just insinuate. Laid a complaint, you should advice her based on what she wrote. Or better still probe further to satisfy your thoughts, Dont just go about assuming. Where did you see her write that someone else is in the picture? Eh?

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 9:51am On Jul 21, 2016
Many people are so scared of being single that they'll take endless poo. enough red light here! searching ur phone and all.what can be worse than a nagging, jealous and possessive man?! Love isn't possessive or obsessive.. if he can't see that your relationship is meant to be a 2 way thing...abeg waka.

9 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by ULSHERLAN(m): 10:00am On Jul 21, 2016
veave:




So you now in her mind. Dont just insinuate. Laid a complaint, you should advice her based on what she wrote. Or better still probe further to satisfy your thoughts, Dont just go about assuming. Where did you see her write that someone else is in the picture? Eh?

The story isn't complete. She left out some parts. Anyways, she is still alone in it smiley

5 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by KingRex1(m): 10:03am On Jul 21, 2016
mimzy:


He is possessive, doesn't necessarily mean he does not love you.



The fact that he is a jealous and possessive lover does not mean he is not capable of treating you right in public or in private.


Please explain what you mean by the emboldened, is it that you have painted him to be who he is not to the members of your family or what?


All these are signs of insecurity, while i am not in support of his attitudes, have you also taken your time to have a tête-à-tête with him, have you tried to understand your man's love language? Men can be really funny at times and you will be surprised at your findings when you have a heart-to-heart convo with him.



You are the one in the relationship, you know where the shoe pinches, you are the one that will say "I do forever" to the guy in question, so put aside what your family members will think or say. But, trust me my dear, the grass is not always greener on the other side, your relationship with him still has a very good chance of survival.


After all said and done, we can only but proffer advise, the final decision lies in your hands, BE WISE MY SISTER!!!




Omo counsellor ni ye o

5 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 10:05am On Jul 21, 2016
KingRex1:


Omo counsellor ni ye o

Lol, i just don't want the Op to make a hasty decision

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 10:07am On Jul 21, 2016
Is he jobless to always be around you?

You don't force things, once tired,you can back off,or have some space..

Maybe he sees you as an achievement by accepting to date him..

An overly jealous man is a ticking time bomb.

3 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by KingRex1(m): 10:08am On Jul 21, 2016
mimzy:

Lol, i just don't want the Op to make a hasty decision
You've been ina similar situation?

1 Like

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 10:16am On Jul 21, 2016
KingRex1:

You've been ina similar situation?

nah

1 Like

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by KingRex1(m): 10:22am On Jul 21, 2016
mimzy:

nah
Aii.. You com give advice like u just left such situation
Howfa you've been awol for quite some time

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 10:29am On Jul 21, 2016
KingRex1:


Aii.. You com give advice like u just left such situation

Howfa you've been awol for quite some time

Yea, low key things smiley

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by KingRex1(m): 10:36am On Jul 21, 2016
mimzy:

Yea, low key things smiley
*whispers* You kill person? undecidedshocked
Lolz

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 10:40am On Jul 21, 2016
KingRex1:


*whispers* You kill person? undecidedshocked

Lolz

STOP DERAILING angry

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by 5minsmadness: 11:15am On Jul 21, 2016
@iamnotalone,

So I went through all your threads and posts and came to a simple conclusion.
Don't marry this man.
You are not matured for marriage yet. It's not him, its you. And thats not a bad thing. With time u will grow and find someone u love and cherish, but right now your feelings are fickle. If u marry this guy Now and anything goes wrong u will continue to blame him for it. Let him go pls.

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