₦airaland Forum

It's better you have a one on one conversation with inlaw no be phone matter.

At least no be Niger him dey na Nigeria and he know how things dey play.

Use this script

I don't have this kind of money abeg make ona give me 4-6 months make I gather the money you go cause division amongst the family asap.

Some go tell you say oya go Hussle why others go tell you say make you do with what you have.

But las las them go reason with you.

But op if it's their first daughter you wan marry dem go do strong head oo.


Summary

'bed em don't wed em" albundy

Samfigo1:
Good day everyone!!!

This is very urgent everyone and I will try to be brief.
My marriage is in few weeks time and there have been troubles here and there. Pls, I will like to know what I am supposed to do. This my babe is from Kogi and we have decided to marry eachother, before we got the relationship got deep we were having marriage talks she gave me the impression that we will not be flamboyant which I was happy about, she even told me her father may not want reception and all.

Everything changed at some point, we started planning for registry, engagement and reception.
This is where the problem began, our plan is to have the court on Thursday, engagement and reception on Saturday.

My family and I are going to cater for court expenses, and also 70% expenses on clothings and shoes for my would be wife is from me. Now they are saying the groom's family will cater for everything during reception, we told them to do the estimate of the feeding alone and it is close to 300k, where the problem started was when we asked how much they are going to contribute inside, they do not plan to contribute inside. They said they will cater for engagement. There is no much thing in the engagement because we are going to use the same facilities for the reception for the engagement, the hall, the chairs, tables and so on.

I told them why do they want us alone to cater for reception? There is no much in the engagement to do. Note, we will be coming from Ondo state to Kaduna state, we do not have much people that will travel that much from our side to Kaduna, we only asked how much they are going to contribute inside that is where the problem started.

I told them if you want it that way, if you want us to cater only for the reception, the hall chairs and tables I have paid 50% of should be completed by them since we are going to use the same hall for the two events. The engagement list, I have not even bought 50% of the whole thing.

Pls, am I acting strange? Is it too much to demand? My union is at stake, pls I need pieces of advice on this

I don't envy you at all.




Does your wife have a brother that you can talk to about this weight? Emphasis is on brother

@ samfigo1.... My own concern is travelling from SW to Kaduna in this period where there is massive insecurity along our roads. If she's from Kogi why do u have to go to Kaduna.

All these people planning your wedding on your behalf without making any contribution. If anything happens along the road will they be there for you.

For me o, any man planning any form of reception in this time of Buhari pro max is either having a monthly income of about 500k or the person is not "sensible".

My friend, carry your wife go and do your court marriage then invite both families only for engagement and reception. This can be done even at home or inside Una compound.

[quote author=Samfigo1 post=125291465]Thank you for this.
I have been trying to be peaceful but the burden is much on me.
My both parents are even pensioners, the much heavier part of the load is on me.[/quot
The load will be on your bro, that's why you are the man. Don't wait on ur laws to fund ur wedding for you. If you are not ready better stay out of it, marriage is not child's play ok. No vex for my talk .

Rich4god:
@ samfigo1.... My own concern is travelling from SW to Kaduna in this period where there is massive insecurity along our roads. If she's from Kogi why do u have to go to Kaduna.

All these people planning your wedding on your behalf without making any contribution. If anything happens along the road will they be there for you.

For me o, any man planning any form of reception in this time of Buhari pro max is either having a monthly income of about 500k or the person is not "sensible".

My friend, carry your wife go and do your court marriage then invite both families only for engagement and reception. This can be done even at home or inside Una compound.

Her parents are based in Kaduna

Leave the marriage fast

And 300k isn't much with the cost of things these days. Op, communicate with your wife-to-be , don't go and be fronting like a big man when you don't have. This life shouldn't be complicated, just take it easy. This isn't enough reason to crash anything , do what you want to do le n Kan as things are on the increase everyday plus prices don't come down in Nigeria they go up.

Samfigo1:
Good day everyone!!!

This is very urgent everyone and I will try to be brief.
My marriage is in few weeks time and there have been troubles here and there. Pls, I will like to know what I am supposed to do. This my babe is from Kogi and we have decided to marry eachother, before we got the relationship got deep we were having marriage talks she gave me the impression that we will not be flamboyant which I was happy about, she even told me her father may not want reception and all.

Everything changed at some point, we started planning for registry, engagement and reception.
This is where the problem began, our plan is to have the court on Thursday, engagement and reception on Saturday.

My family and I are going to cater for court expenses, and also 70% expenses on clothings and shoes for my would be wife is from me. Now they are saying the groom's family will cater for everything during reception, we told them to do the estimate of the feeding alone and it is close to 300k, where the problem started was when we asked how much they are going to contribute inside, they do not plan to contribute inside. They said they will cater for engagement. There is no much thing in the engagement because we are going to use the same facilities for the reception for the engagement, the hall, the chairs, tables and so on.

I told them why do they want us alone to cater for reception? There is no much in the engagement to do. Note, we will be coming from Ondo state to Kaduna state, we do not have much people that will travel that much from our side to Kaduna, we only asked how much they are going to contribute inside that is where the problem started.

I told them if you want it that way, if you want us to cater only for the reception, the hall chairs and tables I have paid 50% of should be completed by them since we are going to use the same hall for the two events. The engagement list, I have not even bought 50% of the whole thing.

Pls, am I acting strange? Is it too much to demand? My union is at stake, pls I need pieces of advice on this

Let it crash/let it crashes, you and or your girlfriend body/bodies, etc; is or are full of rash and rashes...,etc; that would soon turns to ashes... Beauty for ashes or beauty with ashes...? Beauty in ashes or with splashes, flashes and lashes of ashes..., with ashes lashes, flashes and splashes...?...

Samfigo1:
Her parents are based in Kaduna

I will advise you to just travel with Ur parent and mayb one or two siblings. Do every celebration in their compound or a small space. No need to travel with lots of people and let them not invite plenty people.

I can bet you that if you want to travel with anything more than 8-10 people to Kaduna, u will spend nothing less than 150k to and fro.

Use your head and manage your resources.

That you did a small wedding doesn't stop you from having the best marriage life.

It is what it is.

By the looks of it you're Yoruba and your wife is not.
1. The bride's family spends most of the entertainment expenses as Yoruba, because they believe they are the hosts. But other tribes are not like that. In fact for some the groom's family spends 100% of the costs. I believe you should have known that before now.
2. Not every other tribe have evolved like Yoruba who can be very considerate based on economic realities, and not put much demand on you.
3. It's your wife that will work on her family. Remind her that you guys need to survive after the wedding.

Samfigo1:
Good day everyone!!!

This is very urgent everyone and I will try to be brief.
My marriage is in few weeks time and there have been troubles here and there. Pls, I will like to know what I am supposed to do. This my babe is from Kogi and we have decided to marry eachother, before we got the relationship got deep we were having marriage talks she gave me the impression that we will not be flamboyant which I was happy about, she even told me her father may not want reception and all.

Everything changed at some point, we started planning for registry, engagement and reception.
This is where the problem began, our plan is to have the court on Thursday, engagement and reception on Saturday.

My family and I are going to cater for court expenses, and also 70% expenses on clothings and shoes for my would be wife is from me. Now they are saying the groom's family will cater for everything during reception, we told them to do the estimate of the feeding alone and it is close to 300k, where the problem started was when we asked how much they are going to contribute inside, they do not plan to contribute inside. They said they will cater for engagement. There is no much thing in the engagement because we are going to use the same facilities for the reception for the engagement, the hall, the chairs, tables and so on.

I told them why do they want us alone to cater for reception? There is no much in the engagement to do. Note, we will be coming from Ondo state to Kaduna state, we do not have much people that will travel that much from our side to Kaduna, we only asked how much they are going to contribute inside that is where the problem started.

I told them if you want it that way, if you want us to cater only for the reception, the hall chairs and tables I have paid 50% of should be completed by them since we are going to use the same hall for the two events. The engagement list, I have not even bought 50% of the whole thing.

Pls, am I acting strange? Is it too much to demand? My union is at stake, pls I need pieces of advice on this

I will b blunt with u

This your marriage is meant to crash cos your in laws to b are inconsiderate n which ever way u want it, it will definitely affect your marriage

Samfigo1:
Good day everyone!!!

This is very urgent everyone and I will try to be brief.
My marriage is in few weeks time and there have been troubles here and there. Pls, I will like to know what I am supposed to do. This my babe is from Kogi and we have decided to marry eachother, before we got the relationship got deep we were having marriage talks she gave me the impression that we will not be flamboyant which I was happy about, she even told me her father may not want reception and all.

Everything changed at some point, we started planning for registry, engagement and reception.
This is where the problem began, our plan is to have the court on Thursday, engagement and reception on Saturday.

My family and I are going to cater for court expenses, and also 70% expenses on clothings and shoes for my would be wife is from me. Now they are saying the groom's family will cater for everything during reception, we told them to do the estimate of the feeding alone and it is close to 300k, where the problem started was when we asked how much they are going to contribute inside, they do not plan to contribute inside. They said they will cater for engagement. There is no much thing in the engagement because we are going to use the same facilities for the reception for the engagement, the hall, the chairs, tables and so on.

I told them why do they want us alone to cater for reception? There is no much in the engagement to do. Note, we will be coming from Ondo state to Kaduna state, we do not have much people that will travel that much from our side to Kaduna, we only asked how much they are going to contribute inside that is where the problem started.

I told them if you want it that way, if you want us to cater only for the reception, the hall chairs and tables I have paid 50% of should be completed by them since we are going to use the same hall for the two events. The engagement list, I have not even bought 50% of the whole thing.

Pls, am I acting strange? Is it too much to demand? My union is at stake, pls I need pieces of advice on this

Did you find a wife? Y'all see problem and walk into it