Set boundaries for everybody, humans forget quick, what or how you've stood for them..

People know who they respect and disrespect. Know where you belong, it will help your decision about everyone/everything...

Maybe it's me o, but from what I read and me trying very hard to understand what OP was writing, I believe something is wrong with the OP

You asked your friend to go to church with you, he said he doesn't want to go to church... You got angry... Yet, you said you don't want to be doing church things because you want to hustle and make it within the remaining four months...

Wetin come be the problem? He should he shelved his own plans to follow you to a church program when you yourself don't want to go for "church-church" things again?

You never talk wetin dey worry you

Guys still dey make male friends this 21st century??

Your comment is one of the best I’ve ever read in this platform. Your points are worded and intellectual.

I applied same to my self since early this year and it’s been helpful. Though, some may see it as ego or pride, but inwardly, they know that it’s about self respect and value.

I was being mocked as jobless when I used to call and text people but stopped all those and the respect soared.

Thanks for your point!

Sonnobax15:

When you're too available and too accessible,this is what you should expect.......

Place value upon yourself and watch how everyone around you will do same.....

Call only those who call you,and only check up on those who check on you.......

Value yourself first,and you wouldn't even need to set boundaries with anyone......Na only dem go notice say your value don increase,and they'll have no option than to respect your space.

Quit alcohol and beer parlour for 9months

Cutting someone off is a temporary remedy, they will be back soon enough, either they reach back to you or you call them back yourself.

The best approach is to discuss it with them and try resolve it. He is your friend and holding such conversation shouldn't be a problem. Do this often and I assure you, you will get the best of anyone around you..

onlyboyson:
Quit alcohol and beer parlour for 9months

Ogogoro man, you didn't read the post as usual

Sonnobax15:

When you're too available and too accessible,this is what you should expect.......

Place value upon yourself and watch how everyone around you will do same.....

Call only those who call you,and only check up on those who check on you.......

Value yourself first,and you wouldn't even need to set boundaries with anyone......Na only dem go notice say your value don increase,and they'll have no option than to respect your space.

This is the worst opinion I've seen so far, if Op calls only those who call him and those people only call those who call them, who will call who eventually? Someone will have to place the first call remember?

DamianDd:
This happened today:

I called a friend of mine so we can go for an all night together at a church we were invited in, he was already in the vicinity so I asked where are you he said said at his pastors house and I'm like where is the pastors house then he started complaining... "abeg I nor wan go that church now before oo" then he cut call, I called this boy and he didn't pick again



I had to go to the church myself but that thing pissed me off but I couldn't call again because he's not my girlfriend that I'll start quarrelling over the phone. He came to church later but it was toll after church close I saw him, he couldn't even talk to me and I as well didn't give a damn so I left and came home



I honestly did not want to bring up something from 7 hours ago and start vexing this early morning. Already I'm very mentality stressed because I'm trying to make good use of this 4 months remaining to make my life better and get money.



We usually do these church things like sing in churches and all that but I lost interest in them, it is not want I want to do with my life at all. I want big things and going to churches everyday is not what I want for now or for my future so I stopped hanging out with them. All they do is church and girls then don't even hustle that much, they aren't bothered about making money as much as I am



This is not the first time this friend has disrespected me and my time like this but the first few times I let it slide but recently it's becoming a pattern and I'm cutting him off and this recent one he did is one obvious reason why I need to complete excommunicate him from my life because I get really annoyed when I'm disrespected but the times he does it is when I'm not close to him so I can't carry issues like I'm a girl.



What do you guys think, cutting him off is best? Because I'm already no longer hanging out with them too

How do I set clearer boundaries without getting angry? Mostly because I don't have a very good way of expressing anger it's destructive but I'm an introverted person so I do well with managing my emotions

I appreciate your honesty. Honest people, God can walk with relatively easily.
You're like Nathaniel, a man in whom there's no guile.lol

About this your situation, I'll try to be honest with you as well. Please do not take the offense to heart, if any.
It's a blessing to want to know and serve God buy the enemy also fights it with every thing on his arsenal to discourage you.

1. Prioritising money is a set up for disaster.
You will think you're serving God, but you will be serving Mammon. And you will find yourself in the wrong church where they are too money-conscious.

Prioritize God and let him lead you through life. It's a lifetime decision and commitment.
Money comes as He wills and as he checks and trusts your heart with it.
He builds you in a way that you will not be chasing money but it will be chasing you. This takes time so you will have to exercise patience. It's all in the bible, so studying the Bible is a major necessity, your pastors are simply your guide, God himself will be your teacher/pastor/father/friend.

2. Most of the other issues you described here, God knows how to deal with them when you encounter Him afresh. Kindly rededicate your life to Christ.
Pray that God should lead you to His Presence, his gathering. If you're lucky it may still be your present church. But more importantly go through the foundation class. Ensure you are baptised in Water immersion. You will be baptised with Holy Spirit and fire according to God's will.

I no even understand wetin the guy dey rant about.

DamianDd:
This happened today:

I called a friend of mine so we can go for an all night together at a church we were invited in, he was already in the vicinity so I asked where are you he said said at his pastors house and I'm like where is the pastors house then he started complaining... "abeg I nor wan go that church now before oo" then he cut call, I called this boy and he didn't pick again



I had to go to the church myself but that thing pissed me off but I couldn't call again because he's not my girlfriend that I'll start quarrelling over the phone. He came to church later but it was toll after church close I saw him, he couldn't even talk to me and I as well didn't give a damn so I left and came home



I honestly did not want to bring up something from 7 hours ago and start vexing this early morning. Already I'm very mentality stressed because I'm trying to make good use of this 4 months remaining to make my life better and get money.



We usually do these church things like sing in churches and all that but I lost interest in them, it is not want I want to do with my life at all. I want big things and going to churches everyday is not what I want for now or for my future so I stopped hanging out with them. All they do is church and girls then don't even hustle that much, they aren't bothered about making money as much as I am



This is not the first time this friend has disrespected me and my time like this but the first few times I let it slide but recently it's becoming a pattern and I'm cutting him off and this recent one he did is one obvious reason why I need to complete excommunicate him from my life because I get really annoyed when I'm disrespected but the times he does it is when I'm not close to him so I can't carry issues like I'm a girl.



What do you guys think, cutting him off is best? Because I'm already no longer hanging out with them too

How do I set clearer boundaries without getting angry? Mostly because I don't have a very good way of expressing anger it's destructive but I'm an introverted person so I do well with managing my emotions

Na by force to go church?

JustPowerApps:


Ogogoro man, you didn't read the post as usual

😔😔

I wish i could give ideas but meeeehn i no get friend let alone friends.

The past 10 years i have normalized seeing people as neighbours, class mates, seat mates, colleagues, girlfriends, streetmates etc.

The boundaries set itself

The kinds of things people take precious time to worry about can be surprising sha.

You did yourself by having friends


You should only have one friend that could be your Co worker


Anything other that is a waste of time

Is not compulsory your friend obey your command

Twenty people cannot be friends for twenty years.at times people tend to move on.

Is this your friend a girl ? Are you a girl?

Block him from all social media whatsapp, facebook, calls .. bro you deserve better than that.. So many frustrated lazy ass out there.. they don't hustle,dont have money the next thing is unnecessary beef.. Bro block the hell out of your life.. Enjoy your life, congratulations.. take 2 cold bottles of your choice this night with fried meat to celebrate

First, identify what you want and how you go about getting it. You mentioned making money already, fine. Going to church does not give you money except if you will meet people there that you can connect and network with outside the church and towards making money. You need people to succeed in life but you need the right people. Cutting off relationships is only good when you don’t benefit from it. You use the right persons to get what
You want or where you want to be. So, sit down and analyze your friends and see who aligns with your ambition. If they will be relevant in what you want to achieve, swallow the disrespect and harness the opportunities in them for your benefit. Else, discard them. Discarding them shouldn’t require seeking advise from me or any one for that matter. You figure out how you do it yourself.

CelestineNelson:
I don't understand your writeup ...can you summarize pls?

Even me, I couldn’t really make sense of it but I think he’s trying to say that he and his friend arranged to go for a church programme and when he arrived, his friend blew him off and disappeared.

He then reflected that the people that he hangs out with don’t share his goals of being successful and improving themselves.

After that I can’t really grasp what he said, omo..

Friends and family will always be intrusive

So, you have to be disciplined enough to set clear boundaries as to what you can accept and what you cannot.

Bros, this your Comprehensive passage is not comprehensible at all

DamianDd:
This happened today:

I called a friend of mine so we can go for an all night together at a church we were invited in, he was already in the vicinity so I asked where are you he said said at his pastors house and I'm like where is the pastors house then he started complaining... "abeg I nor wan go that church now before oo" then he cut call, I called this boy and he didn't pick again



I had to go to the church myself but that thing pissed me off but I couldn't call again because he's not my girlfriend that I'll start quarrelling over the phone. He came to church later but it was toll after church close I saw him, he couldn't even talk to me and I as well didn't give a damn so I left and came home



I honestly did not want to bring up something from 7 hours ago and start vexing this early morning. Already I'm very mentality stressed because I'm trying to make good use of this 4 months remaining to make my life better and get money.



We usually do these church things like sing in churches and all that but I lost interest in them, it is not want I want to do with my life at all. I want big things and going to churches everyday is not what I want for now or for my future so I stopped hanging out with them. All they do is church and girls then don't even hustle that much, they aren't bothered about making money as much as I am



This is not the first time this friend has disrespected me and my time like this but the first few times I let it slide but recently it's becoming a pattern and I'm cutting him off and this recent one he did is one obvious reason why I need to complete excommunicate him from my life because I get really annoyed when I'm disrespected but the times he does it is when I'm not close to him so I can't carry issues like I'm a girl.



What do you guys think, cutting him off is best? Because I'm already no longer hanging out with them too

How do I set clearer boundaries without getting angry? Mostly because I don't have a very good way of expressing anger it's destructive but I'm an introverted person so I do well with managing my emotions

How old are you ? 16 ! I mean 7 paragraphs and I’m still trying to understand why you are distraught!!!!

rickleye:


How old are you ? 16 ! I mean 7 paragraphs and I’m still trying to understand why you are distraught!!!!

Pay attention to the first two paragraphs and try to chill don't rush when reading

bluefilm:
I no even understand wetin the guy dey rant about.

person say he no wan go church,na why op de vex? Na wa

DamianDd:
This happened today:

I called a friend of mine so we can go for an all night together at a church we were invited in, he was already in the vicinity so I asked where are you he said said at his pastors house and I'm like where is the pastors house then he started complaining... "abeg I nor wan go that church now before oo" then he cut call, I called this boy and he didn't pick again.

Some friends take friendship for granted.
Your own small.
If this happened to me I won’t be bothered!
I don’t know how old you guys are but e get age wey man suppose reach and he’ll need respect from even friends.
Because at that level man should be focusing on getting the Benjamins not fighting.
Friendship without mutual respect is bound to crash like relationship without symbiosis!

During my masters, I noticed my so called new school friend didn’t like taking responsibilities even for his own wrong doing, Must look for someone to blame. I was a group leader of about 25 people at some point and we all agreed to set up a zoom discussion, I had network issue and couldn’t share my screen📺. My so called friend was the first and only one to laugh out loud at me for all ears to hear just because of some network problems which even our lecturers experience. While other people who were not even friends but classmates tried and suggested an alternate solution to our network problem.
Mind you there are ladies in the meeting.

We were given loads of assignments which I understood better. This guy called me 3 times so I could guid him through. I did guid him and corrected many errors. He solved his, I solved mine.
We met in school the next day, he asked that we should compare our answers. I said ok.

On comparing we discovered that I was wrong on two occasions(there were about 30 questions)
This guy started passively abusing me❗️

He said and I quote:
“Na wa for you wo, look at the way you solved this questions. You solved as if you were not concentrating, what is wrong with you ❓”

Damn❗️
What is wrong with me ? Something no one told me in a long long time. Not parents not bosses.
The way I felt, if I hadn’t done the entire assignment I would have felt better.

I calmly reiterated what he said to me to his hearing and I noticed it on his face, he realized he messed up but of course too big to apologize!

I told him of course I didn’t concentrate because I was busy at work while trying to do the assignment but you are on leave.

These and many other things made me systematically give him distance.



I thought friends are supposed to have each other’s back?
Like I said friendship without mutual respect will not last.

onyekachee:
person say he no wan go church,na why op de vex? Na wa

I taya

Fredoh:



Some friends take friendship for granted.
Your own small.
If this happened to me I won’t be bothered!
I don’t know how old you guys are but e get age wey man suppose reach and he’ll need respect from even friends.
Because at that level man should be focusing on getting the Benjamins not fighting.
Friendship without mutual respect is bound to crash like relationship without symbiosis!

During my masters, I noticed my so called new school friend didn’t like taking responsibilities even for his own wrong doing, Must look for someone to blame. I was a group leader of about 25 people at some point and we all agreed to set up a zoom discussion, I had network issue and couldn’t share my screen📺. My so called friend was the first and only one to laugh out loud at me for all ears to hear just because of some network problems which even our lecturers experience. While other people who were not even friends but classmates tried and suggested an alternate solution to our network problem.
Mind you there are ladies in the meeting.

We were given loads of assignments which I understood better. This guy called me 3 times so I could guid him through. I did guid him and corrected many errors. He solved his, I solved mine.
We met in school the next day, he asked that we should compare our answers. I said ok.

On comparing we discovered that I was wrong on two occasions(there were about 30 questions)
This guy started passively abusing me❗️

He said and I quote:
“Na wa for you wo, look at the way you solved this questions. You solved as if you were not concentrating, what is wrong with you ❓”

Damn❗️
What is wrong with me ? Something no one told me in a long long time. Not parents not bosses.
The way I felt, if I hadn’t done the entire assignment I would have felt better.

I calmly reiterated what he said to me to his hearing and I noticed it on his face, he realized he messed up but of course too big to apologize!

I told him of course I didn’t concentrate because I was busy at work while trying to do the assignment but you are on leave.

These and many other things made me systematically give him distance.



I thought friends are supposed to have each other’s back?
Like I said friendship without mutual respect will not last.

That's my point, mutual respect. There's always an option to briefly explain why you can't come out yet and I'd be okay rather than complaining and cutting the call on me. I'd never do this to a friend because I believe respect is reciprocal. Regardless of that fact o left my town to a different town for this all night he knows very well I don't know anyone there, there should be a limit to things and I think this is very much the time I cut him and his silly nature off. Someone that stood there while 5 people were indirectly insulting him to his face advising his girlfriend to chose another richer boy because he's not stable he now want to prove his bad character on me. Very immature way of thinking to value brotherhood friendship and I'm very sure he did that rubbish because his girl was with him. Putting your brother down to prove your dominance to a woman, it vexed me alot because I take the nigga like my brother, help him when he needs money most of my clothes I gave him. What a joke!

Yampotatocarrot:
Maybe it's me o, but from what I read and me trying very hard to understand what OP was writing, I believe something is wrong with the OP

You asked your friend to go to church with you, he said he doesn't want to go to church... You got angry... Yet, you said you don't want to be doing church things because you want to hustle and make it within the remaining four months...

Wetin come be the problem? He should he shelved his own plans to follow you to a church program when you yourself don't want to go for "church-church" things again?

You never talk wetin dey worry you

Ah toh‼️

DamianDd:
This happened today:

I called a friend of mine so we can go for an all night together at a church we were invited in, he was already in the vicinity so I asked where are you he said said at his pastors house and I'm like where is the pastors house then he started complaining... "abeg I nor wan go that church now before oo" then he cut call, I called this boy and he didn't pick again



I had to go to the church myself but that thing pissed me off but I couldn't call again because he's not my girlfriend that I'll start quarrelling over the phone. He came to church later but it was toll after church close I saw him, he couldn't even talk to me and I as well didn't give a damn so I left and came home



I honestly did not want to bring up something from 7 hours ago and start vexing this early morning. Already I'm very mentality stressed because I'm trying to make good use of this 4 months remaining to make my life better and get money.



We usually do these church things like sing in churches and all that but I lost interest in them, it is not want I want to do with my life at all. I want big things and going to churches everyday is not what I want for now or for my future so I stopped hanging out with them. All they do is church and girls then don't even hustle that much, they aren't bothered about making money as much as I am



This is not the first time this friend has disrespected me and my time like this but the first few times I let it slide but recently it's becoming a pattern and I'm cutting him off and this recent one he did is one obvious reason why I need to complete excommunicate him from my life because I get really annoyed when I'm disrespected but the times he does it is when I'm not close to him so I can't carry issues like I'm a girl.



What do you guys think, cutting him off is best? Because I'm already no longer hanging out with them too

How do I set clearer boundaries without getting angry? Mostly because I don't have a very good way of expressing anger it's destructive but I'm an introverted person so I do well with managing my emotions

It's very simple na, me i dont find it difficult to cut people off na matter how close we are, once I noticed our way don't align with each other I cut you off by ceasing from calling you, avoid our meeting place and even if you come looking for me I'll tell you I dont have time. But that doesn't mean I hate the person, if we see we'll still greet normal, but it doesn't go beyond normal greeting or except is business ehen I might consider.



Some people can be very useless, and you don't need such people around you.