₦airaland Forum

You are still hurting because you have not fogiven these people who hurt you. The trauma from this treatment will keep haunting you until you forgive them. Forgive them for yourself and not about what they do to you. Never let cheap people give you expensive lessons

MisterBanny:
Good day everyone. This topic shouldn't be on this Section, but I really need it to gain traffic urgently reason I am doing this here. My apologies.

I am from a family of four. The eldest. I hail from Plateau state. I lost my Dad when I was 10yrs. After my dad's burial, I went to live with a paternal anty who maltreated me so badly that I almost committed Suicide. I was like a slave. You can think of all the dehumanizing treatments in life. I started High sch. No sponsor.

Same anty never paid my fees for once, yet I was like a slave to her and her children. Throughout my secondary school, there was NO session that I ever wrote complete exams for 1, 2 and 3rd Terms. I would write maybe 6papers and not write the remaining papers, I will miss the next term's exams totally and write a few papers the final term of the session due to not paying sch fees. I was so ridiculed & mocked by my classmates cos of the constant embarrassment. As a result of this, I became an introvert. I couldn't even ask questions in class or socialize with my mates. No friends. My fee was #800 at the time. A private sch. I was so determined to get education & prayed God to pls help me bear whatever I faced at that time.

During this period, my mum who is unlettered stayed back in the village with my siblings and had to remarry. I got really pissed and cried myself out when I heard about the marriage cos I had no prior knowledge about it. My mum up till now has NEVER given me anything like Money in my Life. Highest she ever gave me was 1k at once...

At a point some person's even asked me if I still had a Mum particularly whenever I tried to seek help from them.
I was undeterred, wrote my WAEC, had 4-Distinctions and 4-credits and a Pass in Geography, then wrote JAMB, scored 220 and got admission to the University. I had to Hussle to pay my fees throughout. I spent 8yrs in the University due to money constraints. My mum never showed much concern. At a point I said I would drop out and to my shock, she said I should do so if I wanted to. Thank God I done with my Degree.
During and after NYSC she would always call me almost everyday talking about money. Making demands on me. I was always sending to her cos no matter what, she's my mum.

At a point, I wasn't responding to her calls for months and never sent money again. She started telling people that I wasn't calling her or picking her calls or helping her. She also instigated my younger siblings against me and they started disrespecting me. Anyone of us who has money and gives to her at that particular period is who she will become friends with then starts reporting negative things about others to the person that is currently giving her money. Some things would be done and I will never be aware except an outsider tells me. I felt so bad about all these and I decided to stay aloof and estranged from my family. I don't call except once in a while. My mum has been calling for almost a month now but I haven't picked cos money will be involved in the conversation and I don't have now.
Pls advise me.

The last straw was when I got Mobilized for NYSC and had nothing to even use for transport to the camp. I consulted a cooperative that she belongs in to loan me some money, but did u know that after they accepted to give me the loan the next day, I went back and they started giving me excuses. I later heard from an impeccable memeber of the cooperative that it was my mum that asked them not to grant me the loan. Her reason was that I may not pay back and she didn't want the responsibility of repaying to fall back on her. Same woman that has never given me any dime. Mind you, she has money to buy the latest Wrappers but can't help me.

She attends almost all the burials in the village even when the deceased isn't related to her and likes to drink alcohol. I have talked to her about this but she wouldn't listen.

Most north central Christian women drink Alcohol

Dpen11:
Wow

She is your mum is that she is your mum

On a normal day if you really do have to give ,give her because many are praying to have a mother that will disturb them or make them spend.

Whatsoever you passed through,let bygone be bygone,she is your family.

Be safe

Exactly. Buy if it was de dad u won't say same thing

Dpen11:
Wow

She is your mum is that she is your mum

On a normal day if you really do have to give ,give her because many are praying to have a mother that will disturb them or make them spend.

Whatsoever you passed through,let bygone be bygone,she is your family.

Be safe

No na, not like this one na. I don't have mum again too n I miss my mum so much but this case is something else. She doesn't value her child(ren). Give her always when u can but dont kill yourself to cos she would always come for more especially when u said she likes alcohol n party.

It's the moral duty of every parent to take good care of their wards.

And in the eventuality that they fail to do so, they shouldn't expect the kids to take care of them as well.

Dear poster, don't feel emotionally blackmailed to assist if you don't want to.
Some parents are not worth being referred to as parents.

albert2512:
No na, not like this one na. I don't have mum again too n I miss my mum so much but this case is something else. She doesn't value her child(ren). Give her always when u can but dont kill yourself to cos she would always come for more especially when u said she likes alcohol n party.

Thanks

MisterBanny:
I have learnt a lot in life due my tragic experiences. Each time I see my mother's calls, my blood pressure would jump up instantly cos it's either she wants to tell me about the death of a relative in the village or complain about money. She always complains yet has the latest Wrappers. She can never give u her money. The day I got the biggest shock of my life was during my clearance in sch before NYSC. I needed transport fare to travel to sch like 3k. I was stranded. I don't ask her for any sort of monetary help cos I know she wouldn't give. But that day I asked her for help, and in her usual characteristic, she claimed not to have, she didn't even know that I had checked her phone and saw a balance of 13k. I was so sad and wondered why a mother would do this to her son. I thought people say a mother can do anything for her child, then why is my own case different? Up till today, I never told her that I knew she had money in her account.

If this story is true, very sorry about your experiences.
I went through a similar situation and it sure hurts.
But for a long time i have a crossed mind for sycophants whoever the person is.
Reverse psychology no longer works.

I know what i can do.

veektor01:
It's the moral duty of every parent to take good care of their wards.

And in the eventuality that they fail to do so, they shouldn't expect the kids to take care of them as well.

Dear poster, don't feel emotionally blackmailed to assist if you don't want to.
Some parents are not worth being referred to as parents.

Exactly. It's so sad. Thank you so much sir

Me too

Dsscode91:
If this story is true, very sorry about your experiences.
I went through a similar situation and it sure hurts.
But for a long time i have a crossed mind for sycophants whoever the person is.
Reverse psychology no longer works.

I know what i can do.

This is true life's story sir.
Thanks for your counsel

IconicR:
When will parents who failed their kids understand that they are not entitled to anything from such kids and whatever they get should be considered as charity ?

All these is as a result of how most of these religious leaders interpret the holy book

You should not feel bad over anything kos you owe them nothing but you may choose to still be kind to them each time you have but not under any duress

If she couldn't stand for you in your trying times please don't give her that chance of breaking you.

Satisfy your conscience and ignore the rest.

beb oil dey ur head

There’s a unique and spiritual bond normally most children feel with their mothers that continue throughout life. Therefore if someone says they don’t speak to their mother just know most times it is the mother’s fault. She must have done something so deep for her child to not crave her love or attention. But African mentality will always say that is your mom blah blah blah. I don’t feel one should be rewarded for simply accepting the consequences of their actions/ unprotected sex= babies.

MisterBanny:
Good day everyone. This topic shouldn't be on this Section, but I really need it to gain traffic urgently reason I am doing this here. My apologies.

I am from a family of four. The eldest. I hail from Plateau state. I lost my Dad when I was 10yrs. After my dad's burial, I went to live with a paternal anty who maltreated me so badly that I almost committed Suicide. I was like a slave. You can think of all the dehumanizing treatments in life. I started High sch. No sponsor.

Same anty never paid my fees for once, yet I was like a slave to her and her children. Throughout my secondary school, there was NO session that I ever wrote complete exams for 1, 2 and 3rd Terms. I would write maybe 6papers and not write the remaining papers, I will miss the next term's exams totally and write a few papers the final term of the session due to not paying sch fees. I was so ridiculed & mocked by my classmates cos of the constant embarrassment. As a result of this, I became an introvert. I couldn't even ask questions in class or socialize with my mates. No friends. My fee was #800 at the time. A private sch. I was so determined to get education & prayed God to pls help me bear whatever I faced at that time.

During this period, my mum who is unlettered stayed back in the village with my siblings and had to remarry. I got really pissed and cried myself out when I heard about the marriage cos I had no prior knowledge about it. My mum up till now has NEVER given me anything like Money in my Life. Highest she ever gave me was 1k at once...

At a point some person's even asked me if I still had a Mum particularly whenever I tried to seek help from them.
I was undeterred, wrote my WAEC, had 4-Distinctions and 4-credits and a Pass in Geography, then wrote JAMB, scored 220 and got admission to the University. I had to Hussle to pay my fees throughout. I spent 8yrs in the University due to money constraints. My mum never showed much concern. At a point I said I would drop out and to my shock, she said I should do so if I wanted to. Thank God I done with my Degree.
During and after NYSC she would always call me almost everyday talking about money. Making demands on me. I was always sending to her cos no matter what, she's my mum.

At a point, I wasn't responding to her calls for months and never sent money again. She started telling people that I wasn't calling her or picking her calls or helping her. She also instigated my younger siblings against me and they started disrespecting me. Anyone of us who has money and gives to her at that particular period is who she will become friends with then starts reporting negative things about others to the person that is currently giving her money. Some things would be done and I will never be aware except an outsider tells me. I felt so bad about all these and I decided to stay aloof and estranged from my family. I don't call except once in a while. My mum has been calling for almost a month now but I haven't picked cos money will be involved in the conversation and I don't have now.
Pls advise me.

The last straw was when I got Mobilized for NYSC and had nothing to even use for transport to the camp. I consulted a cooperative that she belongs in to loan me some money, but did u know that after they accepted to give me the loan the next day, I went back and they started giving me excuses. I later heard from an impeccable memeber of the cooperative that it was my mum that asked them not to grant me the loan. Her reason was that I may not pay back and she didn't want the responsibility of repaying to fall back on her. Same woman that has never given me any dime. Mind you, she has money to buy the latest Wrappers but can't help me.

She attends almost all the burials in the village even when the deceased isn't related to her and likes to drink alcohol. I have talked to her about this but she wouldn't listen.

Stay away from anything or anyone that would stress u even if she is your mom stay away but not totally

Listening carefully to your story and looking at it spiritually, I will have this to say;
1. The demise of your dad is the begining of your problem. The battle he can not overcome is now yours - Be strong to fight it to the end.
2. Your mother's attitude was not her doing but a forces she needs to reckoned with. She was been used to displayed her family after all what she passed through with the demised of your dad.
3. The onus now lies on you now - pray move closer to God, give them a reasonable distance but not total distance. Change your line and still keep the other line to communicate with them occasionally. Be sending a token to her but make your you are the one that can reach them when you feel like. Pray you get a good job but keep reasonable distance and access.i repeat.
All these for your peace of mind.... When you are strong enough to stand. You can now have an open line with them.
Wish you good luck

Lovelylife24:
There’s a unique and spiritual bond normally most children feel with their mothers that continue throughout life. Therefore if someone says they don’t speak to their mother just know most times it is the mother’s fault. She must have done something so deep for her child to not crave her love or attention. But African mentality will always say that is your mom blah blah blah. I don’t feel one should be rewarded for simply accepting the consequences of their actions/ unprotected sex= babies.

Stop blabbing nonsense! What unique and spiritual what now? Is that what OP experienced?

Sorry for bad past, Op that woman is ur mother no matter what she did to u never disrespect her and try ur best whenever she demand for ur assistant to enable u have ur own ur happy future and families becos parents payer matter most on children's, just over look any of her bad side to u, the consequence await her and she most surly come back to beg you for all her hypocritical behavior towards you.

So,sad...you have to move on concentrate on yourself bro,only help her when you have.

mukthar2000:
Sorry for bad past, Op that woman is ur mother no matter what she did to u never disrespect her and try ur best whenever she demand for ur assistant to enable u have ur own ur happy future and families becos parents payer matter most on children's, just over look any of her bad side to u, the consequence await her and she most surly come back to beg you for all her hypocritical behavior towards you.

OP, avoid all these folks who are themselves likely in a similar predicament as the one faced by you there but they can't help but live in denial of it. They try to emotionally blackmail others as a way of feeling right about their current state.

Dpen11:
Wow

She is your mum is that she is your mum

On a normal day if you really do have to give ,give her because many are praying to have a mother that will disturb them or make them spend.

Whatsoever you passed through,let bygone be bygone,she is your family.

Be safe

I so much dislike this talk. So one shld take rubbish because she is your mum? Una sef ehhhh

ivanoj:
Listening carefully to your story and looking at it spiritually, I will have this to say;
1. The demise of your dad is the begining of your problem. The battle he can not overcome is now yours - Be strong to fight it to the end.
2. Your mother's attitude was not her doing but a forces she needs to reckoned with. She was been used to displayed her family after all what she passed through with the demised of your dad.
3. The onus now lies on you now - pray move closer to God, give them a reasonable distance but not total distance. Change your line and still keep the other line to communicate with them occasionally. Be sending a token to her but make your you are the one that can reach them when you feel like. Pray you get a good job but keep reasonable distance and access.i repeat.
All these for your peace of mind.... When you are strong enough to stand. You can now have an open line with them.
Wish you good luck

May God bless you for this advice, i hope the OP take heed of this undiluted advice

MisterBanny:
Good day everyone. This topic shouldn't be on this Section, but I really need it to gain traffic urgently reason I am doing this here. My apologies.

I am from a family of four. The eldest. I hail from Plateau state. I lost my Dad when I was 10yrs. After my dad's burial, I went to live with a paternal anty who maltreated me so badly that I almost committed Suicide. I was like a slave. You can think of all the dehumanizing treatments in life. I started High sch. No sponsor.

Same anty never paid my fees for once, yet I was like a slave to her and her children. Throughout my secondary school, there was NO session that I ever wrote complete exams for 1, 2 and 3rd Terms. I would write maybe 6papers and not write the remaining papers, I will miss the next term's exams totally and write a few papers the final term of the session due to not paying sch fees. I was so ridiculed & mocked by my classmates cos of the constant embarrassment. As a result of this, I became an introvert. I couldn't even ask questions in class or socialize with my mates. No friends. My fee was #800 at the time. A private sch. I was so determined to get education & prayed God to pls help me bear whatever I faced at that time.

During this period, my mum who is unlettered stayed back in the village with my siblings and had to remarry. I got really pissed and cried myself out when I heard about the marriage cos I had no prior knowledge about it. My mum up till now has NEVER given me anything like Money in my Life. Highest she ever gave me was 1k at once...

At a point some person's even asked me if I still had a Mum particularly whenever I tried to seek help from them.
I was undeterred, wrote my WAEC, had 4-Distinctions and 4-credits and a Pass in Geography, then wrote JAMB, scored 220 and got admission to the University. I had to Hussle to pay my fees throughout. I spent 8yrs in the University due to money constraints. My mum never showed much concern. At a point I said I would drop out and to my shock, she said I should do so if I wanted to. Thank God I done with my Degree.
During and after NYSC she would always call me almost everyday talking about money. Making demands on me. I was always sending to her cos no matter what, she's my mum.

At a point, I wasn't responding to her calls for months and never sent money again. She started telling people that I wasn't calling her or picking her calls or helping her. She also instigated my younger siblings against me and they started disrespecting me. Anyone of us who has money and gives to her at that particular period is who she will become friends with then starts reporting negative things about others to the person that is currently giving her money. Some things would be done and I will never be aware except an outsider tells me. I felt so bad about all these and I decided to stay aloof and estranged from my family. I don't call except once in a while. My mum has been calling for almost a month now but I haven't picked cos money will be involved in the conversation and I don't have now.
Pls advise me.

The last straw was when I got Mobilized for NYSC and had nothing to even use for transport to the camp. I consulted a cooperative that she belongs in to loan me some money, but did u know that after they accepted to give me the loan the next day, I went back and they started giving me excuses. I later heard from an impeccable memeber of the cooperative that it was my mum that asked them not to grant me the loan. Her reason was that I may not pay back and she didn't want the responsibility of repaying to fall back on her. Same woman that has never given me any dime. Mind you, she has money to buy the latest Wrappers but can't help me.

She attends almost all the burials in the village even when the deceased isn't related to her and likes to drink alcohol. I have talked to her about this but she wouldn't listen.

truth be told u don't av a mother..focus on ur life bro..sounds harsh but na wetin I go do..maa wey no fey act like mama.

mukthar2000:
Sorry for bad past, Op that woman is ur mother no matter what she did to u never disrespect her and try ur best whenever she demand for ur assistant to enable u have ur own ur happy future and families becos parents payer matter most on children's, just over look any of her bad side to u, the consequence await her and she most surly come back to beg you for all her hypocritical behavior towards you.

What you haven’t experienced, you may not truly grasp it.. some mothers or fathers can be evil and it makes one wonder if they birthed the child, would she ask of financial assistance if the OP were to be a tout or bus driver loading to oshodi?

Sirbruno3000:
You are not serious. Mr Op that your mum is evil, just stay away from her. She may be the one that killed your dad. Consult a genuine prophet to reveal more details about her. Evil mums are better off dead than being alive.

Gbam, but the prophet stuff isn’t for me to agree to but you said nothing but the truth here

MisterBanny:
Good day everyone. This topic shouldn't be on this Section, but I really need it to gain traffic urgently reason I am doing this here. My apologies.

Pls send me a DM when you can

If a hunter thinks of difficulty and hardship that was involve in hunting, he will not give anyone out of his bush meat.

Pray for God blessings so that those who think you cant get to the river will drink from your tap water.

Just that you don't stress yourself to meet their demand.

Your biography will be interesting to read.

MisterBanny:
Thanks for this piece. God bless you

Don't thank him pls some women are not deserve to called mother
Follow your instincts whatever you think is best do it you have no know to answer to
You are self made man walk with your head high
Good luck

I don’t believe in the school of thought that says “she’s your mother no matter what”. A mother is not just a person that got pregnant and pushed a baby out. A woman that takes care of you till you can stand on your own is what I call a mother. I can go any length for my mother because she single-handedly trained I and my siblings to the university level. I even schooled abroad, though I paid my fees myself but she sponsored my traveling even when she didn’t have so much. I don’t regard my father because he wasn’t in my life, hence I don’t have any special feeling for him.

So, the ball is in your court. You have the moral justification not to send your mother money because she didn’t perform the duty of a mother to you. What if you actually stopped university at some point, will she be demanding money from you.

Anyway, like I said, it all depends on you. You can continue to give her if you want, but don’t expect anything from her. She will always have that attitude of when you give me, you become my friend.