₦airaland Forum

IconicR:
When will parents who failed their kids understand that they are not entitled to anything from such kids and whatever they get should be considered as charity ?

All these is as a result of how most of these religious leaders interpret the holy book

You should not feel bad over anything kos you owe them nothing but you may choose to still be kind to them each time you have but not under any duress

If she couldn't stand for you in your trying times please don't give her that chance of breaking you.

Satisfy your conscience and ignore the rest.

So you get sense like this, wow

Owoado:
Pls send me a DM when you can

I got your mail. And I have reverted. You can check Sir. Thanks so much

BossGerald:
So you get sense like this, wow

Be gone I'm fighting on bbn thread
I don't have your time now

My brother,please thank God that after everything,you were able to graduate from school.Why ,many in lesser conditions or even those that have sponsors couldn’t achieve what you did.That’s the reason you should count yourself privileged for Grace and relate with your siblings as the big bro you are.You are the Father of the house and you should learn to manage crises and challenges no matter where it comes from.As a father you must learn endurance and perseverance.

MisterBanny:
Good day everyone. This topic shouldn't be on this Section, but I really need it to gain traffic urgently reason I am doing this here. My apologies.

I am from a family of four. The eldest. I hail from Plateau state. I lost my Dad when I was 10yrs. After my dad's burial, I went to live with a paternal anty who maltreated me so badly that I almost committed Suicide. I was like a slave. You can think of all the dehumanizing treatments in life. I started High sch. No sponsor.

Same anty never paid my fees for once, yet I was like a slave to her and her children. Throughout my secondary school, there was NO session that I ever wrote complete exams for 1, 2 and 3rd Terms. I would write maybe 6papers and not write the remaining papers, I will miss the next term's exams totally and write a few papers the final term of the session due to not paying sch fees. I was so ridiculed & mocked by my classmates cos of the constant embarrassment. As a result of this, I became an introvert. I couldn't even ask questions in class or socialize with my mates. No friends. My fee was #800 at the time. A private sch. I was so determined to get education & prayed God to pls help me bear whatever I faced at that time.

During this period, my mum who is unlettered stayed back in the village with my siblings and had to remarry. I got really pissed and cried myself out when I heard about the marriage cos I had no prior knowledge about it. My mum up till now has NEVER given me anything like Money in my Life. Highest she ever gave me was 1k at once...

At a point some person's even asked me if I still had a Mum particularly whenever I tried to seek help from them.
I was undeterred, wrote my WAEC, had 4-Distinctions and 4-credits and a Pass in Geography, then wrote JAMB, scored 220 and got admission to the University. I had to Hussle to pay my fees throughout. I spent 8yrs in the University due to money constraints. My mum never showed much concern. At a point I said I would drop out and to my shock, she said I should do so if I wanted to. Thank God I done with my Degree.
During and after NYSC she would always call me almost everyday talking about money. Making demands on me. I was always sending to her cos no matter what, she's my mum.

At a point, I wasn't responding to her calls for months and never sent money again. She started telling people that I wasn't calling her or picking her calls or helping her. She also instigated my younger siblings against me and they started disrespecting me. Anyone of us who has money and gives to her at that particular period is who she will become friends with then starts reporting negative things about others to the person that is currently giving her money. Some things would be done and I will never be aware except an outsider tells me. I felt so bad about all these and I decided to stay aloof and estranged from my family. I don't call except once in a while. My mum has been calling for almost a month now but I haven't picked cos money will be involved in the conversation and I don't have now.
Pls advise me.

The last straw was when I got Mobilized for NYSC and had nothing to even use for transport to the camp. I consulted a cooperative that she belongs in to loan me some money, but did u know that after they accepted to give me the loan the next day, I went back and they started giving me excuses. I later heard from an impeccable memeber of the cooperative that it was my mum that asked them not to grant me the loan. Her reason was that I may not pay back and she didn't want the responsibility of repaying to fall back on her. Same woman that has never given me any dime. Mind you, she has money to buy the latest Wrappers but can't help me.

She attends almost all the burials in the village even when the deceased isn't related to her and likes to drink alcohol. I have talked to her about this but she wouldn't listen.

Ya mama na Area Mama

You just have to accept her like that; anytime she ask and you get, give am. No dey look im hand again, just give! It will open your way!

MisterBanny:
Good day everyone. This topic shouldn't be on this Section, but I really need it to gain traffic urgently reason I am doing this here. My apologies.

I am from a family of four. The eldest. I hail from Plateau state. I lost my Dad when I was 10yrs. After my dad's burial, I went to live with a paternal anty who maltreated me so badly that I almost committed Suicide. I was like a slave. You can think of all the dehumanizing treatments in life. I started High sch. No sponsor.

Same anty never paid my fees for once, yet I was like a slave to her and her children. Throughout my secondary school, there was NO session that I ever wrote complete exams for 1, 2 and 3rd Terms. I would write maybe 6papers and not write the remaining papers, I will miss the next term's exams totally and write a few papers the final term of the session due to not paying sch fees. I was so ridiculed & mocked by my classmates cos of the constant embarrassment. As a result of this, I became an introvert. I couldn't even ask questions in class or socialize with my mates. No friends. My fee was #800 at the time. A private sch. I was so determined to get education & prayed God to pls help me bear whatever I faced at that time.

During this period, my mum who is unlettered stayed back in the village with my siblings and had to remarry. I got really pissed and cried myself out when I heard about the marriage cos I had no prior knowledge about it. My mum up till now has NEVER given me anything like Money in my Life. Highest she ever gave me was 1k at once...

At a point some person's even asked me if I still had a Mum particularly whenever I tried to seek help from them.
I was undeterred, wrote my WAEC, had 4-Distinctions and 4-credits and a Pass in Geography, then wrote JAMB, scored 220 and got admission to the University. I had to Hussle to pay my fees throughout. I spent 8yrs in the University due to money constraints. My mum never showed much concern. At a point I said I would drop out and to my shock, she said I should do so if I wanted to. Thank God I done with my Degree.
During and after NYSC she would always call me almost everyday talking about money. Making demands on me. I was always sending to her cos no matter what, she's my mum.

At a point, I wasn't responding to her calls for months and never sent money again. She started telling people that I wasn't calling her or picking her calls or helping her. She also instigated my younger siblings against me and they started disrespecting me. Anyone of us who has money and gives to her at that particular period is who she will become friends with then starts reporting negative things about others to the person that is currently giving her money. Some things would be done and I will never be aware except an outsider tells me. I felt so bad about all these and I decided to stay aloof and estranged from my family. I don't call except once in a while. My mum has been calling for almost a month now but I haven't picked cos money will be involved in the conversation and I don't have now.
Pls advise me.

The last straw was when I got Mobilized for NYSC and had nothing to even use for transport to the camp. I consulted a cooperative that she belongs in to loan me some money, but did u know that after they accepted to give me the loan the next day, I went back and they started giving me excuses. I later heard from an impeccable memeber of the cooperative that it was my mum that asked them not to grant me the loan. Her reason was that I may not pay back and she didn't want the responsibility of repaying to fall back on her. Same woman that has never given me any dime. Mind you, she has money to buy the latest Wrappers but can't help me.

She attends almost all the burials in the village even when the deceased isn't related to her and likes to drink alcohol. I have talked to her about this but she wouldn't listen.

Touchy catchy long story, only thing I've got to say now to you is be who you needed while you were growing up now to your family.

Outright Trash, Bro, channel all your energy to developing yourself and when you have more than enough you can give to her, for now put all of those money to pause and put them together for certifications, you’ve done remarkably well for yourself despite the odds, no one should dare guilt trap you “na ma’m make call herself mama na her pikin Dey call mummy”, your mum is no more than a relative to you right now and you should treat her as one

Dpen11:
Wow

She is your mum is that she is your mum

On a normal day if you really do have to give ,give her because many are praying to have a mother that will disturb them or make them spend.

Whatsoever you passed through,let bygone be bygone,she is your family.

Be safe

MisterBanny:
Thanks for this piece. God bless you

Hmmmmmm 🤔 na wa ooo, what can I advice again So that I will be the devil that doesn't want you to cater for your mum Please continue to meet all her demands always, good luck.

DrDunamis:
Touchy catchy long story, only thing I've got to say now to you is be who you needed while you were growing up now to your family.

Sure. Thank you sir

NewDea4:
Ya mama na Area Mama

You just have to accept her like that; anytime she ask and you get, give am. No dey look im hand again, just give! It will open your way!

Ok. Thanks

ehix89:
Outright Trash, Bro, channel all your energy to developing yourself and when you have more than enough you can give to her, for now put all of those money to pause and put them together for certifications, you’ve done remarkably well for yourself despite the odds, no one should dare guilt trap you “na ma’m make call herself mama na her pikin Dey call mummy”, your mum is no more than a relative to you right now and you should treat her as one

Thank you Bro

EvangelistChuks:
My brother,please thank God that after everything,you were able to graduate from school.Why ,many in lesser conditions or even those that have sponsors couldn’t achieve what you did.That’s the reason you should count yourself privileged for Grace and relate with your siblings as the big bro you are.You are the Father of the house and you should learn to manage crises and challenges no matter where it comes from.As a father you must learn endurance and perseverance.

Thank you so much.

Dpen11:
Wow

She is your mum is that she is your mum

On a normal day if you really do have to give ,give her because many are praying to have a mother that will disturb them or make them spend.

Whatsoever you passed through,let bygone be bygone,she is your family.

Be safe

You must not know what it means to be treated like the OP. I also deal with the same issues.

The best you can do is stay away from them all, after all you’ve survived this far without their influence.

If you have, you send to her, if you don’t. Ignore any MF. But first, make sure you deal with your own problems before taking on those of your family.

On the long run, everyone will know where they stand.

Dpen11:
Wow

She is your mum is that she is your mum

On a normal day if you really do have to give ,give her because many are praying to have a mother that will disturb them or make them spend.

Whatsoever you passed through,let bygone be bygone,she is your family.

Be safe

A lot of youth has been trapped because of this kind mentality

IconicR:
Don't listen to that advise
Put your mental health in check before any other person in this life.

Help her only when you are comfortable to do so

Do not let anyone who weren't there for you in trying times tamper with your peace of mind.

A lot of people has been trapped because that mentality

SeunDAssLicker:
You must not know what it means to be treated like the OP. I also deal with the same issues.

The best you can do is stay away from them all, after all you’ve survived this far without their influence.

If you have, you send to her, if you don’t. Ignore any MF. But first, make sure you deal with your own problems before taking on those of your family.

On the long run, everyone will know where they stand.

Thanks so much Sir

MisterBanny:
Thank you Bro

Lots of love from here bro

MisterBanny:
Thank u so much Sir. Her entitlement mentality is what sucks most. There was even a time she sent my kid sister to go and househelp in Porthacourt so she can be getting her salary directly into her account. I was so shocked for a mother to send her daughter to a stranger's house to be a househelp. So terrible

That your mom is a very terrible mother to her kids and also materialistic. Meanwhile try go for mental therapy as advised, I pray you heal soon from all the mental and emotional trauma you've been through so far. I pray the heavens favor you in the shortest possible time, you are destined for greatness Op.

MisterBanny:
Good day everyone. This topic shouldn't be on this Section, but I really need it to gain traffic urgently reason I am doing this here. My apologies.

I am from a family of four. The eldest. I hail from Plateau state. I lost my Dad when I was 10yrs. After my dad's burial, I went to live with a paternal anty who maltreated me so badly that I almost committed Suicide. I was like a slave. You can think of all the dehumanizing treatments in life. I started High sch. No sponsor.

Same anty never paid my fees for once, yet I was like a slave to her and her children. Throughout my secondary school, there was NO session that I ever wrote complete exams for 1, 2 and 3rd Terms. I would write maybe 6papers and not write the remaining papers, I will miss the next term's exams totally and write a few papers the final term of the session due to not paying sch fees. I was so ridiculed & mocked by my classmates cos of the constant embarrassment. As a result of this, I became an introvert. I couldn't even ask questions in class or socialize with my mates. No friends. My fee was #800 at the time. A private sch. I was so determined to get education & prayed God to pls help me bear whatever I faced at that time.

During this period, my mum who is unlettered stayed back in the village with my siblings and had to remarry. I got really pissed and cried myself out when I heard about the marriage cos I had no prior knowledge about it. My mum up till now has NEVER given me anything like Money in my Life. Highest she ever gave me was 1k at once...

At a point some person's even asked me if I still had a Mum particularly whenever I tried to seek help from them.
I was undeterred, wrote my WAEC, had 4-Distinctions and 4-credits and a Pass in Geography, then wrote JAMB, scored 220 and got admission to the University. I had to Hussle to pay my fees throughout. I spent 8yrs in the University due to money constraints. My mum never showed much concern. At a point I said I would drop out and to my shock, she said I should do so if I wanted to. Thank God I done with my Degree.
During and after NYSC she would always call me almost everyday talking about money. Making demands on me. I was always sending to her cos no matter what, she's my mum.

At a point, I wasn't responding to her calls for months and never sent money again. She started telling people that I wasn't calling her or picking her calls or helping her. She also instigated my younger siblings against me and they started disrespecting me. Anyone of us who has money and gives to her at that particular period is who she will become friends with then starts reporting negative things about others to the person that is currently giving her money. Some things would be done and I will never be aware except an outsider tells me. I felt so bad about all these and I decided to stay aloof and estranged from my family. I don't call except once in a while. My mum has been calling for almost a month now but I haven't picked cos money will be involved in the conversation and I don't have now.
Pls advise me.

The last straw was when I got Mobilized for NYSC and had nothing to even use for transport to the camp. I consulted a cooperative that she belongs in to loan me some money, but did u know that after they accepted to give me the loan the next day, I went back and they started giving me excuses. I later heard from an impeccable memeber of the cooperative that it was my mum that asked them not to grant me the loan. Her reason was that I may not pay back and she didn't want the responsibility of repaying to fall back on her. Same woman that has never given me any dime. Mind you, she has money to buy the latest Wrappers but can't help me.

She attends almost all the burials in the village even when the deceased isn't related to her and likes to drink alcohol. I have talked to her about this but she wouldn't listen.

.

Qatar2022:
A lot of youth has been trapped because of this kind mentality

yes you are right
dpenn11 comment made me so annoyed if we are in person and he is saying all sort of these and i have access to a gun i wont hesitate to shoot him. He is one of the problem we are having as a nation

MisterBanny:
Good day everyone. This topic shouldn't be on this Section, but I really need it to gain traffic urgently reason I am doing this here. My apologies.

I am from a family of four. The eldest. I hail from Plateau state. I lost my Dad when I was 10yrs. After my dad's burial, I went to live with a paternal anty who maltreated me so badly that I almost committed Suicide. I was like a slave. You can think of all the dehumanizing treatments in life. I started High sch. No sponsor.

Same anty never paid my fees for once, yet I was like a slave to her and her children. Throughout my secondary school, there was NO session that I ever wrote complete exams for 1, 2 and 3rd Terms. I would write maybe 6papers and not write the remaining papers, I will miss the next term's exams totally and write a few papers the final term of the session due to not paying sch fees. I was so ridiculed & mocked by my classmates cos of the constant embarrassment. As a result of this, I became an introvert. I couldn't even ask questions in class or socialize with my mates. No friends. My fee was #800 at the time. A private sch. I was so determined to get education & prayed God to pls help me bear whatever I faced at that time.

During this period, my mum who is unlettered stayed back in the village with my siblings and had to remarry. I got really pissed and cried myself out when I heard about the marriage cos I had no prior knowledge about it. My mum up till now has NEVER given me anything like Money in my Life. Highest she ever gave me was 1k at once...

At a point some person's even asked me if I still had a Mum particularly whenever I tried to seek help from them.
I was undeterred, wrote my WAEC, had 4-Distinctions and 4-credits and a Pass in Geography, then wrote JAMB, scored 220 and got admission to the University. I had to Hussle to pay my fees throughout. I spent 8yrs in the University due to money constraints. My mum never showed much concern. At a point I said I would drop out and to my shock, she said I should do so if I wanted to. Thank God I done with my Degree.
During and after NYSC she would always call me almost everyday talking about money. Making demands on me. I was always sending to her cos no matter what, she's my mum.

At a point, I wasn't responding to her calls for months and never sent money again. She started telling people that I wasn't calling her or picking her calls or helping her. She also instigated my younger siblings against me and they started disrespecting me. Anyone of us who has money and gives to her at that particular period is who she will become friends with then starts reporting negative things about others to the person that is currently giving her money. Some things would be done and I will never be aware except an outsider tells me. I felt so bad about all these and I decided to stay aloof and estranged from my family. I don't call except once in a while. My mum has been calling for almost a month now but I haven't picked cos money will be involved in the conversation and I don't have now.
Pls advise me.

The last straw was when I got Mobilized for NYSC and had nothing to even use for transport to the camp. I consulted a cooperative that she belongs in to loan me some money, but did u know that after they accepted to give me the loan the next day, I went back and they started giving me excuses. I later heard from an impeccable memeber of the cooperative that it was my mum that asked them not to grant me the loan. Her reason was that I may not pay back and she didn't want the responsibility of repaying to fall back on her. Same woman that has never given me any dime. Mind you, she has money to buy the latest Wrappers but can't help me.

She attends almost all the burials in the village even when the deceased isn't related to her and likes to drink alcohol. I have talked to her about this but she wouldn't listen.

I'm not sorry to say this...
Your mother is not an "".
She's a failure of a mother n deserves no dime from u..
This is not an issue of people telling u to forgive her..
She's an unrepentant bad mother.. who wants to sow where she didn't reap.
If ur mother can prioritize wrapper over the welfare of her child..
She's not fit to be called a mother.
No good mother will allow her kids suffer.

ghettochild:
I'm not sorry to say this...
Your mother is not an "".
She's a failure of a mother n deserves no dime from u..
This is not an issue of people telling u to forgive her..
She's an unrepentant bad mother.. who wants to sow where she didn't reap.
If ur mother can prioritize wrapper over the welfare of her child..
She's not fit to be called a mother.
No good mother will allow her kids suffer.

Hmmmm: it's really strange bro. I weep almost every night. At times, I ask God why he allowed my dad to die and not my Mum instead. I just say it within myself, I tell no one about this cos it's shameful

obawaya:
i came across the post some minutes ago, i was in class.
i showed this to some of my student and lecturers to comment on in my own opinion stay away from that woman stop listening to some people on here telling you no matter what she is your mom because a mother is more than just giving birth nowadays with advance technology we now have Artificial insemination. A lot of people talking on here are ignonrant and limited to education. She only comes to you on a purpose which is money, you don't have any value to her. This is similar to my late dad but though his own case is different when he died i didn't feel he's not existing because he wasn't really part of my life. Let me give you an example now. You commited a crime your mom will never call you with the way you discribe her. Even if the police called her she will deny you, it left to you. Too much sentiment and problem of religion is really a big problem in nigeria and africa

Hmmm... So sad

MumEmdy:
That your mom is a very terrible mother to her kids and also materialistic. Meanwhile try go for mental therapy as advised, I pray you heal soon from all the mental and emotional trauma you've been through so far. I pray the heavens favor you in the shortest possible time, you are destined for greatness Op.

Amen. I'm destined for greatness and I will. Thanks for these words of encouragement. They mean a lot to me. I pray I heal

ehix89:
Lots of love from here bro

Same here my brother and friend

MisterBanny:
Hmmmm: it's really strange bro. I weep almost every night. At times, I ask God why he allowed my dad to die and not my Mum instead. I just say it within myself, I tell no one about this cos it's shameful

My brother... just zero ur mother from ur life...
Whenever u get anything to give her...
Send it thru 3rd party..
Change ur number

ghettochild:
My brother... just zero ur mother from ur life...
Whenever u get anything to give her...
Send it thru 3rd party..
Change ur number

Hmmmmm....

MisterBanny:
Amen. I'm destined for greatness and I will. Thanks for these words of encouragement. They mean a lot to me. I pray I heal

You are welcome