₦airaland Forum

Jewessgratitud3:
It s not me and it will never be me I reject that kind of man. If and when I decide to marry, I'll marry a sensible and hardworking man by the grace of God.

Curse777:




*and I so much dislike him because he's fair and I can't stand fair guys.

*they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house.

Summary of this long epistle

1: He first asked you out and you rejected, as a man he moved on to your sister and you resented him deeply

2: He is currently financially handicap and he irritates you, you hate poor men and poor men neither deserve marriage, or children

3: To you financial burden of a family is exclusive responsibility of a man


PS:

Dear Men, stay completely away from marriage if you are not financially bouyant as you are only rated for your financial strength by Women

You misunderstood the whole story, being broke is different from being lazy. The man is lazy and he is worse than an infidel.



.

Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.

ThatFairGuy1:
Do you love fair guy?

Skyview01:
I agree say you no go keep quiet. But look at it from this way, she deliberately married a low life, someone who has nothing doing and totally irresponsible.

She also went on to birth three kids for for the guy. I cut off my own blood sisters for half of that.

I support family members as much as possible and try to advise and warn when they are about to make irrational decisions but I would not allow their wrong decisions to affect my quality of life.

Infact I distance myself from anyone, friends or relatives, who constantly make wrong life choices. I will end up with unnecessary burdens.

BaddestQueen:
yes oooo
you're my boyfriend naa

ThatFairGuy1:

Jewessgratitud3:
I didn't want to mention what he does because he might be a member here or someone that knows him could be here. secondly, because what he does is seasonal. Drops by luck. Na that one family man supposed fold hands dey wait for? For how long?

Ok sha. I've heard you.

Curse777:




*and I so much dislike him because he's fair and I can't stand fair guys.

*they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house.

Summary of this long epistle

1: He first asked you out and you rejected, as a man he moved on to your sister and you resented him deeply

2: He is currently financially handicap and he irritates you, you hate poor men and poor men neither deserve marriage, or children

3: To you financial burden of a family is exclusive responsibility of a man


PS:

Dear Men, stay completely away from marriage if you are not financially bouyant as you are only rated for your financial strength by Women

My

.

ThatFairGuy1:
Wetin fair guys do you?

You don't like cute kids? Skin like milk kids?

Go marry your black pot in peace

Jewessgratitud3:
She said she wants to take them to be with her while he sends money for their upkeep and school fees. She also said she might have to involve social welfare to get this done.

Thanks.will remind her of this again if she insists on going with them

Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.

Jewessgratitud3:
She said she wants to take them to be with her while he sends money for their upkeep and school fees. She also said she might have to involve social welfare to get this done.

Thanks.will remind her of this again if she insists on going with them

Jewessgratitud3:
Likewise a woman. When a womans financial power is gone the woman is gone too so everyone has to fight to get it back!

When my sister lost her school after her second baby, he started treating her badly and she had to fight to get back on her feet. Why can't he too fight to get back!

All this soliloquy no dey work abeg!

vincenteger:
I know that sister of yours is you.
Well if you have the money rent a place and save yourself the embracement.

Please go with your children no matter what even if you don't have the money for their school fees, they can start at a later time.

The best time to leave is when your husband is not at home. Just leave with the basic items that you'll need at your new place.

I wish you all the best.

Jewessgratitud3:
I'm just looking at her to see what she'll do after renting the apartment.

Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.

Jewessgratitud3:
Mumu... You know how many dms I get on all my social media accounts? I have chosen to Ignore most of you guys because you're all lazy bones looking for a hardworking woman to milk dry.

Kobojunkiee:
Why are you carrying this your sister's issue for head abeg? Don't you have a life of your own to attend fully to? Let her stew in her own porridge until she is ready to engage her brain naw!

Jewessgratitud3:
Korkor.. I no get mind. If I say I'll never ever interfere in her matter again, once she calls like this, my mind will melt again. No mama, no papa, we only have each other. That's why.

Jewessgratitud3:
Hahahahahaaaa Dem no do me anything. I just feel they are not strong .. I don't know.

Princezibk:
it’s good as she’s concerned cuz she’s her blood 🩸, even twin siz at that … If the situation turns bloody or life threatening now we’ll all blame her for not being vocal or care enough for her sister … I’ll also do same if I were in her shoes 👠

Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess .

kernniejay:
You brought this kind of issue that requires wisdom and maturity to a place like Nairaland which is full of riffraffs and good-for-nothings and you except to have sensible and reasonable comments? You are joking. People that are worse than that your sister's husband are more than responsible people on Nairaland. You can see for yourself the kind of stupid comments they have been making, some even calling you names.
My own advise is very simple, your sister should cut ties with that liability of a husband with no future and face her life and her children. Your family can return whatever bride price he paid to tie your sister down and file for divorce if she did a registry wedding. The more she stays with him, the more he complicates the journey of her life and the life of the children.

MumEmdy:
Please encourage her more to go with the kids it will give her more peace of mind to settle down and face her front.
And always remember that the kids did not bargain for a broken home let alone denying them motherly love, how do you even expect an irresponsible man ( quoting you) to take care of 3tender kids??

The way I am seeing it sef your sister will go with both kids and husband..😂😂

VeeVeeMyLuv:
You didn't even advice they go see a marriage counselor

You are advocating for the dissolution of the Union?

kernniejay:
That man is not "counsellable" abi what counsel do you want to give that kind of man at that stage of his life? No work, no ambition, no sense of responsibility, no plan for future and you still want the woman to keep living with him and continue to produce children? If you think counselling will solve these problems and she can still be managing the man then you are more wicked and more irresponsible than the useless man.

Exceed15:
Calling your sister's husband USELESS MAN speaks VOLUME about you and how your family treat him. I blame your sister who sold out her husband for you people to rubbish.

They have 3 beautiful kids together and you think that was a mistake? See ehn there's no marriage without trouble. We should put them in perspective. You paint your sister as good, innocent person and tag somebody's son USELESS.

Not all NL gets emotional with story like this and not question things. I doubt if you are married and if not I pity the fellow that will ,because you will treat him with same attitude.