₦airaland Forum

Well I guess it's your life preference destiny and decision , I guess not everyone will marry and not every one will marry early , the most important thing is happiness after marriage and being with your true soul mate , even though peer pressure and family pressure may be on you sometimes you just have to go with the flow and your heart and gutt feelings, it's far better than leaving a marriage after 10years with kids that are baggages that's a far worse situation, you start leaving struggling as a single mother of two or three kids in hard economy of nigeria

Jewessgratitud3:
Like I care? Una no even know me.

Nairaland boys wey be president of Nigeria or ambassador in the UK to stop me tomorrow if I wan enter UK because of my story? Hian!

U know say many of them na mumu, thank God will are in faceless forum

Jewessgratitud3:
It's amazing how I was contemplating making this post before a member here requested or should I say started asking me questions in that line and being a very free and open person, I promised I was going to post about it.

Well... Let me start from my background and up bringing which also contributed indirectly to my nonregrettable actions that has left me in this wonderful marital status.

I grew up in a Catholic christian home where good virtues moral values were instilled in us by engaging us in christian children activities from an early age. The Most social part of my childhood ( apart from school) was around the church then back home with close monitoring. So there was no room for nonsense even up to our secondary and tertiary level. the monitoring was topnotch. So we didn't really get to do shit like our mates who got exposed early to certain lifestyle,; dating number one.

We were overprotected and shaped with these guidelines that a mindset was formed that boy and girl relationship is a taboo ( and it's true). So we knew better than to toll that part.

In the long run, after I have come off age, it became very difficult to date. This was at age 21. Whenever I manage to give a man a listening ear and he mentions sex, I'll run without looking back because that was a danger sign we were taught to look out for. So i was always running away from men because of premarital sex. It got to a point, after looking like that's the only way to get a husband and I was already in my mid twenties, a time when a girl should be getting ready to settle down, I said ok, let me see if I can bend the rules a bit for this one. This man was a chronic responsible bachelor. So I felt it could work out since he's ready to settle down. He was in his mid 30s the and never married. We were in the same compound. So I gave in and we started dating. Mind you there was no pressure from both parents to get married. My parents will never pressure you to get a suitor.

Being a novice in the game, I never knew men could double date or even knew how to handle one when it happens. So, on this fateful day the randy goat came home with another girl. It was our last born that came and told me some girl came to look for him because everyone in the compound knows us together. I was heartbroken and right there I broke up with him without even finding out who or if what they both have is serious. Though I made him cry cos I started entertaining other boys that have been chyking me and bringing them to the compound but I never had anything with them or knew any of their houses. I was just using the to pepper him. Once they say hi, I'll drag them to the compound and we will sit on top of his car sometimes until he now confided in one of our neighbors who now told me to stop that the man is always crying. E never cry. I showed him two can play that game. He tried coming back but I bulshit him.

After that I locked up and never trusted any man. I began to see why my dad was being overprotective. I didn't date again for almost five years and then men were coming but that was when my own shakara increased. I mean responsible well to do men o. That was when men had good jobs from banking, investment and oil companies in ikoyi and vi both staff from five star hotel like Eko hotels and suites, federal palace cos those were the places I worked so I had many suitors and friends but the moment they mention relationship, Ill take off.

Part 2

It continued like that and I was enjoying my life with peace of mind that I forgot about time or didn't bother about it cos I don't care.

When I entered mid thirties, I said let me loosen up a bit but because Ive gotten used and enjoyed single life with peace of mind to that age, I found it difficult to commit again because anytime I tried, I'll start having anxiety. The thought of him cheating on me or even as little as admiring another woman will just make me unsettled and I'll think of aborting mission before it's too late.

So I said to give one man a chance, he too brought another girl in my absence. I found out from the sister and that was it. I called it off he begged and begged that the lady was forcing herself on him and sending him money bla bla.. he made a conference call with his family begging, my mind was made up I dumped him and moved on to a Choir boy Ive been admiring who was also trying to talk me into a relationship. I truly loved this guy and I think I was older than him in age . Though he refused to tell me his age but I was able to deduce from his Facebook profile cos he wrote class of 2006 while I finished 1999 but because I don't look my age, we just looked like age mate and we loved each other.

I met him when he just finished serving and was squatting. I was out of job then but one thing that made me stick with him was, even though he was not working, he shared whatever little he had with me. We were together when a very rich young pastor came asking for my hands in marriage. I told him about it and he started feeling sad that because he doesn't have a bearing now some guy wants to take me away from him. I on the other hand don't really fancy the pastor but wanted to force myself and see if it will work but it wasn't working because I didn't have feelings for him. To now make matters worse, he started showing stinginess. In the three months we courted, we didn't get to sit together because he's a pastor so we only see in church, stand and talk very briefly and disperse and each time he kept posting me about money I asked for to enable me travel for Xmas and the day was fast approaching. It was my Choir boyfriend that wen to borrow money from one girl selling recharge card to give me to travel. Now coupled with the fact that I don't even like him, i just texted him to look for another sister. The highest he ever bought me was two two hundred naira recharge card a stinkingly rich ajebota pastor for that matter ( 2014) but he would always call me.

Lastly, in 2016, my bobo got a job in Chevron with a nice apartment in lekki. Before then we had a small quarrel and we're not in talking terms because I requested for money for hair to attend my twins introduction and he told me no money but he didn't tell me he was saving for an apartment. Even then, how much? So, after months of not talking, he called and invited me over to see his new place. A surprise I guess. I got there and we had a nice time. He tried to make it up to me. He gave me his short and polo to wear that day and took me to a pepper soup joint. **Smiling**
later we got back and ad I was about to shower, I saw a used shower cap in his bathroom. He now handed me a new one from his wardrobe where there were many more. I asked him who used the one in the bathroom, he said baby don't start again. I held my peace.
The following morning he did something that I can't say for sure what really happened.

I slept over because there was no way I could go back from lekki to the mainland that day. That night he came to disturb me and I told him you know we can't be doing this. Please let wait till everything is formalized. When he wouldn't let me be, I left him and went to sleep on the floor. In the morning he woke up and was saying you, you, I was just looking at you as we were talking someone knocked on the door. It was a ladies voice. My ex went to meet her and they were together for almost 30mins before he came back inside. Me i didn't talk. I suspected he went to do nonsense because his thing was up when he left only to come back and it has come down.

We prepared and left together that morning for work. When I got home, I called and told him off. Na small thing dey vex me. He didn't believe it. So many things on my mind that made me take that huge decision. Men are not worth my type.

Since then till date, I stopped anything relationship especially if it's not a born again and I must like him. I faced my God ever since and decided to give myself peace. I can't stand a cheating partner. Disease dey town and I don't want to end up a baby mama.

Now, with the way things are, no jobs, the few decent men can hardly fend for themselves let alone catering for a family, I just decided to let sleeping dogs lie. Make person no come enter from fry pan to fire. Some family men now are dumping their family and running away from their responsibilities leaving the women to carry all the burden. So tell me what will make marriage enticing to me again? Abi na domestic violence? Biko Biko.

I read everything.....
It has not been easy with you.
Dealing with heartbreak(s) is not funny....

Those men you dated were lucky they didn't end up with you. The fights wouldn't have been funny. You are not mentally and emotionally prepared, it's better you stay alone.

Jewessgratitud3:
Hopefully someone leans from my story. I don't regret any of my decisions so far. I'm happy that in all, I wasn't consumed, used to a point of no return in fact if you see me, you'll hardly believe I'm 42 for say I get small protruding stomach ( which almost everyone has) it's only when I eat. Otherwise its normal. So it's caused by food and I overeat.

I also don't regret not having child outside wedlock cos it would have reduced my chances of getting attention from men even at my age. Yes.. I still get attention like serious advances from single men. This is not to make a boast. In this year alone, I've had two suitors. Very responsible guy and man but the thing with me is that I'm too picky. if I don't like you first, it e go hard. So those two were not my spec and I won't trap myself in a loveless marriage just because of age or "time is going " , if it's not what I want, I won't do it. Call me anything you like, your opinion. I don't kia!

Make your choice but time is fast spent

Jewessgratitud3:
Hopefully someone leans from my story. I don't regret any of my decisions so far. I'm happy that in all, I wasn't consumed, used to a point of no return in fact if you see me, you'll hardly believe I'm 42 for say I get small protruding stomach ( which almost everyone has) it's only when I eat. Otherwise its normal. So it's caused by food and I overeat.

I also don't regret not having child outside wedlock cos it would have reduced my chances of getting attention from men even at my age. Yes.. I still get attention like serious advances from single men. This is not to make a boast. In this year alone, I've had two suitors. Very responsible guy and man but the thing with me is that I'm too picky. if I don't like you first, it e go hard. So those two were not my spec and I won't trap myself in a loveless marriage just because of age or "time is going " , if it's not what I want, I won't do it. Call me anything you like, your opinion. I don't kia!

Madam Celibacy or Picker,

Keep on with your negative attitude and you'll later realize the hard way that time and tide wait for no woman.

All the sentences about your experience has shown that you have pride and it seems you're already stuck and a prisoner of it.

You're very lucky that all those guys you were able to get close to, were all docile simps... Assuming, you were able to meet an alpha male, your Toto for don tear anyhow.

You cannot find true happiness in a relationship or forced marriage, I repeat, you're loveless.

My candid submission to you right now, in order to get out of this quagmire, is to enroll yourself as a nun in one of these Catholic churches which is certainly your root.

Bst

You want men to respect you and your decisions, yet you expect them to provide and give you money? With all these your entitlement mentality? I'm ok with your decisions not to go down with any man until marriage but know that you're not better than babes that did that with their husbands before they got married. In fact, with the way you sound, the sex is your last card and you got nothing after that.

See, the world is too big for any single person. We won't even know that you didn't get married or that you died a virgin. Do whatever you like with your life

But don't come and call guys that are guarding their money from wolves like you stingy, not sure they called you stingy when you were protecting your body

It goes both ways my dear

Also go and check that your ex in lekki, his life didn't stop. He is probably even happier now.

Funny enough, na side woman you go end up as, because you can't be sugar mummy cause you got no money.

You would eventually consider it and you are already settling that up...As for the cheating hmmm part most Nigerian Men as soon as they break off poverty na women dey find them it's not the men's fault....
Try white men na

folake4u:
You know this. People that are still eating "Mummy thank you".

Am telling u, many of them stil dey owe palm credit

Jewessgratitud3:
It's amazing how I was contemplating making this post before a member here requested or should I say started asking me questions in that line and being a very free and open person, I promised I was going to post about it.

Well... Let me start from my background and up bringing which also contributed indirectly to my nonregrettable actions that has left me in this wonderful marital status.

I grew up in a Catholic christian home where good virtues moral values were instilled in us by engaging us in christian children activities from an early age. The Most social part of my childhood ( apart from school) was around the church then back home with close monitoring. So there was no room for nonsense even up to our secondary and tertiary level. the monitoring was topnotch. So we didn't really get to do shit like our mates who got exposed early to certain lifestyle,; dating number one.

We were overprotected and shaped with these guidelines that a mindset was formed that boy and girl relationship is a taboo ( and it's true). So we knew better than to toll that part.

In the long run, after I have come off age, it became very difficult to date. This was at age 21. Whenever I manage to give a man a listening ear and he mentions sex, I'll run without looking back because that was a danger sign we were taught to look out for. So i was always running away from men because of premarital sex. It got to a point, after looking like that's the only way to get a husband and I was already in my mid twenties, a time when a girl should be getting ready to settle down, I said ok, let me see if I can bend the rules a bit for this one. This man was a chronic responsible bachelor. So I felt it could work out since he's ready to settle down. He was in his mid 30s the and never married. We were in the same compound. So I gave in and we started dating. Mind you there was no pressure from both parents to get married. My parents will never pressure you to get a suitor.

Being a novice in the game, I never knew men could double date or even knew how to handle one when it happens. So, on this fateful day the randy goat came home with another girl. It was our last born that came and told me some girl came to look for him because everyone in the compound knows us together. I was heartbroken and right there I broke up with him without even finding out who or if what they both have is serious. Though I made him cry cos I started entertaining other boys that have been chyking me and bringing them to the compound but I never had anything with them or knew any of their houses. I was just using the to pepper him. Once they say hi, I'll drag them to the compound and we will sit on top of his car sometimes until he now confided in one of our neighbors who now told me to stop that the man is always crying. E never cry. I showed him two can play that game. He tried coming back but I bulshit him.

After that I locked up and never trusted any man. I began to see why my dad was being overprotective. I didn't date again for almost five years and then men were coming but that was when my own shakara increased. I mean responsible well to do men o. That was when men had good jobs from banking, investment and oil companies in ikoyi and vi both staff from five star hotel like Eko hotels and suites, federal palace cos those were the places I worked so I had many suitors and friends but the moment they mention relationship, Ill take off.

Part 2

It continued like that and I was enjoying my life with peace of mind that I forgot about time or didn't bother about it cos I don't care.

When I entered mid thirties, I said let me loosen up a bit but because Ive gotten used and enjoyed single life with peace of mind to that age, I found it difficult to commit again because anytime I tried, I'll start having anxiety. The thought of him cheating on me or even as little as admiring another woman will just make me unsettled and I'll think of aborting mission before it's too late.

So I said to give one man a chance, he too brought another girl in my absence. I found out from the sister and that was it. I called it off he begged and begged that the lady was forcing herself on him and sending him money bla bla.. he made a conference call with his family begging, my mind was made up I dumped him and moved on to a Choir boy Ive been admiring who was also trying to talk me into a relationship. I truly loved this guy and I think I was older than him in age . Though he refused to tell me his age but I was able to deduce from his Facebook profile cos he wrote class of 2006 while I finished 1999 but because I don't look my age, we just looked like age mate and we loved each other.

I met him when he just finished serving and was squatting. I was out of job then but one thing that made me stick with him was, even though he was not working, he shared whatever little he had with me. We were together when a very rich young pastor came asking for my hands in marriage. I told him about it and he started feeling sad that because he doesn't have a bearing now some guy wants to take me away from him. I on the other hand don't really fancy the pastor but wanted to force myself and see if it will work but it wasn't working because I didn't have feelings for him. To now make matters worse, he started showing stinginess. In the three months we courted, we didn't get to sit together because he's a pastor so we only see in church, stand and talk very briefly and disperse and each time he kept posting me about money I asked for to enable me travel for Xmas and the day was fast approaching. It was my Choir boyfriend that wen to borrow money from one girl selling recharge card to give me to travel. Now coupled with the fact that I don't even like him, i just texted him to look for another sister. The highest he ever bought me was two two hundred naira recharge card a stinkingly rich ajebota pastor for that matter ( 2014) but he would always call me.

Lastly, in 2016, my bobo got a job in Chevron with a nice apartment in lekki. Before then we had a small quarrel and we're not in talking terms because I requested for money for hair to attend my twins introduction and he told me no money but he didn't tell me he was saving for an apartment. Even then, how much? So, after months of not talking, he called and invited me over to see his new place. A surprise I guess. I got there and we had a nice time. He tried to make it up to me. He gave me his short and polo to wear that day and took me to a pepper soup joint. **Smiling**
later we got back and ad I was about to shower, I saw a used shower cap in his bathroom. He now handed me a new one from his wardrobe where there were many more. I asked him who used the one in the bathroom, he said baby don't start again. I held my peace.
The following morning he did something that I can't say for sure what really happened.

I slept over because there was no way I could go back from lekki to the mainland that day. That night he came to disturb me and I told him you know we can't be doing this. Please let wait till everything is formalized. When he wouldn't let me be, I left him and went to sleep on the floor. In the morning he woke up and was saying you, you, I was just looking at you as we were talking someone knocked on the door. It was a ladies voice. My ex went to meet her and they were together for almost 30mins before he came back inside. Me i didn't talk. I suspected he went to do nonsense because his thing was up when he left only to come back and it has come down.

We prepared and left together that morning for work. When I got home, I called and told him off. Na small thing dey vex me. He didn't believe it. So many things on my mind that made me take that huge decision. Men are not worth my type.

Since then till date, I stopped anything relationship especially if it's not a born again and I must like him. I faced my God ever since and decided to give myself peace. I can't stand a cheating partner. Disease dey town and I don't want to end up a baby mama.

Now, with the way things are, no jobs, the few decent men can hardly fend for themselves let alone catering for a family, I just decided to let sleeping dogs lie. Make person no come enter from fry pan to fire. Some family men now are dumping their family and running away from their responsibilities leaving the women to carry all the burden. So tell me what will make marriage enticing to me again? Abi na domestic violence? Biko Biko.

So basically you were traumatised into becoming single. Weird flex but ok.

From ur write up, I can say u are a very egoistic person. Most men that are stable bachelor's, who want to marry don't just date a single lady b4 they marry. They choose from a pool of options available. U don't just crash out of a relationship bcs ur man is double dating, rather u fight to win him for your self. Time Wait's for no man

obembet:
U know say many of them na mumu, thank God will are in faceless forum

Yeah. You can say that again.

Jewessgratitud3:
It's amazing how I was contemplating making this post before a member here requested or should I say started asking me questions in that line and being a very free and open person, I promised I was going to post about it.

Well... Let me start from my background and up bringing which also contributed indirectly to my nonregrettable actions that has left me in this wonderful marital status.

I grew up in a Catholic christian home where good virtues moral values were instilled in us by engaging us in christian children activities from an early age. The Most social part of my childhood ( apart from school) was around the church then back home with close monitoring. So there was no room for nonsense even up to our secondary and tertiary level. the monitoring was topnotch. So we didn't really get to do shit like our mates who got exposed early to certain lifestyle,; dating number one.

We were overprotected and shaped with these guidelines that a mindset was formed that boy and girl relationship is a taboo ( and it's true). So we knew better than to toll that part.

In the long run, after I have come off age, it became very difficult to date. This was at age 21. Whenever I manage to give a man a listening ear and he mentions sex, I'll run without looking back because that was a danger sign we were taught to look out for. So i was always running away from men because of premarital sex. It got to a point, after looking like that's the only way to get a husband and I was already in my mid twenties, a time when a girl should be getting ready to settle down, I said ok, let me see if I can bend the rules a bit for this one. This man was a chronic responsible bachelor. So I felt it could work out since he's ready to settle down. He was in his mid 30s the and never married. We were in the same compound. So I gave in and we started dating. Mind you there was no pressure from both parents to get married. My parents will never pressure you to get a suitor.

Being a novice in the game, I never knew men could double date or even knew how to handle one when it happens. So, on this fateful day the randy goat came home with another girl. It was our last born that came and told me some girl came to look for him because everyone in the compound knows us together. I was heartbroken and right there I broke up with him without even finding out who or if what they both have is serious. Though I made him cry cos I started entertaining other boys that have been chyking me and bringing them to the compound but I never had anything with them or knew any of their houses. I was just using the to pepper him. Once they say hi, I'll drag them to the compound and we will sit on top of his car sometimes until he now confided in one of our neighbors who now told me to stop that the man is always crying. E never cry. I showed him two can play that game. He tried coming back but I bulshit him.

After that I locked up and never trusted any man. I began to see why my dad was being overprotective. I didn't date again for almost five years and then men were coming but that was when my own shakara increased. I mean responsible well to do men o. That was when men had good jobs from banking, investment and oil companies in ikoyi and vi both staff from five star hotel like Eko hotels and suites, federal palace cos those were the places I worked so I had many suitors and friends but the moment they mention relationship, Ill take off.

Part 2

It continued like that and I was enjoying my life with peace of mind that I forgot about time or didn't bother about it cos I don't care.

When I entered mid thirties, I said let me loosen up a bit but because Ive gotten used and enjoyed single life with peace of mind to that age, I found it difficult to commit again because anytime I tried, I'll start having anxiety. The thought of him cheating on me or even as little as admiring another woman will just make me unsettled and I'll think of aborting mission before it's too late.

So I said to give one man a chance, he too brought another girl in my absence. I found out from the sister and that was it. I called it off he begged and begged that the lady was forcing herself on him and sending him money bla bla.. he made a conference call with his family begging, my mind was made up I dumped him and moved on to a Choir boy Ive been admiring who was also trying to talk me into a relationship. I truly loved this guy and I think I was older than him in age . Though he refused to tell me his age but I was able to deduce from his Facebook profile cos he wrote class of 2006 while I finished 1999 but because I don't look my age, we just looked like age mate and we loved each other.

I met him when he just finished serving and was squatting. I was out of job then but one thing that made me stick with him was, even though he was not working, he shared whatever little he had with me. We were together when a very rich young pastor came asking for my hands in marriage. I told him about it and he started feeling sad that because he doesn't have a bearing now some guy wants to take me away from him. I on the other hand don't really fancy the pastor but wanted to force myself and see if it will work but it wasn't working because I didn't have feelings for him. To now make matters worse, he started showing stinginess. In the three months we courted, we didn't get to sit together because he's a pastor so we only see in church, stand and talk very briefly and disperse and each time he kept posting me about money I asked for to enable me travel for Xmas and the day was fast approaching. It was my Choir boyfriend that wen to borrow money from one girl selling recharge card to give me to travel. Now coupled with the fact that I don't even like him, i just texted him to look for another sister. The highest he ever bought me was two two hundred naira recharge card a stinkingly rich ajebota pastor for that matter ( 2014) but he would always call me.

Lastly, in 2016, my bobo got a job in Chevron with a nice apartment in lekki. Before then we had a small quarrel and we're not in talking terms because I requested for money for hair to attend my twins introduction and he told me no money but he didn't tell me he was saving for an apartment. Even then, how much? So, after months of not talking, he called and invited me over to see his new place. A surprise I guess. I got there and we had a nice time. He tried to make it up to me. He gave me his short and polo to wear that day and took me to a pepper soup joint. **Smiling**
later we got back and ad I was about to shower, I saw a used shower cap in his bathroom. He now handed me a new one from his wardrobe where there were many more. I asked him who used the one in the bathroom, he said baby don't start again. I held my peace.
The following morning he did something that I can't say for sure what really happened.

I slept over because there was no way I could go back from lekki to the mainland that day. That night he came to disturb me and I told him you know we can't be doing this. Please let wait till everything is formalized. When he wouldn't let me be, I left him and went to sleep on the floor. In the morning he woke up and was saying you, you, I was just looking at you as we were talking someone knocked on the door. It was a ladies voice. My ex went to meet her and they were together for almost 30mins before he came back inside. Me i didn't talk. I suspected he went to do nonsense because his thing was up when he left only to come back and it has come down.

We prepared and left together that morning for work. When I got home, I called and told him off. Na small thing dey vex me. He didn't believe it. So many things on my mind that made me take that huge decision. Men are not worth my type.

Since then till date, I stopped anything relationship especially if it's not a born again and I must like him. I faced my God ever since and decided to give myself peace. I can't stand a cheating partner. Disease dey town and I don't want to end up a baby mama.

Now, with the way things are, no jobs, the few decent men can hardly fend for themselves let alone catering for a family, I just decided to let sleeping dogs lie. Make person no come enter from fry pan to fire. Some family men now are dumping their family and running away from their responsibilities leaving the women to carry all the burden. So tell me what will make marriage enticing to me again? Abi na domestic violence? Biko Biko.

I hope you're still a virgin because in all your story you didn't tell us you had sex with any of them?

Do what makes you happy. This is one of the side effects of religion and a wrong database installed.

Your dad and religion feed you wrong data which you installed in your psyche all through your upbringing.

This led to a fictitious expectation from men.
The African Traditional culture in Nigeria teaches women that a man can take more than 1 wife Nd love them both equally.

Just be happy. Also remember that when everyone is old the only person wholly remain by your side is your own family.

Naija is not like Yankee where government takes care of the old.

Having your own family company is overrated while young but what happens when you're old?

What happens when you're old during Xmas holidays and Sallah and all your current family has gone to stay with their kids? Or grand ones?

Staying with them is an option but also extra burden except you guys have a well-to-do family circle and can afford the space and they are married within the same location you stay.

So it's easier to visit without travelling. Just plan it well. Olisa gi dube gi 🙏

This is really deep... but try marry before 50yrs sha make menopause no go sup.

May God grant your heart desires
My Pastor will intercede to God on your behalf if wish,
Your husband to be will locate you in Jesus name

Jewessgratitud3:
This is not to make a boast. In this year alone, I've had two suitors. Very responsible guy and man but the thing with me is that I'm too picky. if I don't like you first, it e go hard. So those two were not my spec and I won't trap myself in a loveless marriage just because of age or "time is going " , if it's not what I want, I won't do it. Call me anything you like, your opinion. I don't kia!

When small or inexperienced children talk you'll know. I don't know aboit others but to me love does not exist but rather tolerance and compromise. If eventually you think you love someone and marry him your eyes go clear in one year and you will divorce and start looking for another love .

I said let me loosen up a bit but because Ive gotten used and enjoyed single life with peace of mind to that age, I found it difficult to commit again.

When someone says stay away from single Ladies above a certain. You say they are bashing women, but in everything there is an element of truth.

When a Lady who doesn’t want to become a nun is single at 35. It’s a whole list of issues, from attitude to commitment issues…. The list goes on and on

At this point, if it comes fine, if not, fine. I'm not the one to make such plans. If I get what I want, oh.. why not but if not, men e go hard o. Like I said... In this year alone, I've had two suitors. A very responsible guy and a man but the thing with me is that I'm too picky. if I don't like you first, it will be very difficult. These two were not my spec and I won't trap myself in a loveless marriage all because of age or "time is going " , if it's not what I want, I won't do it.

Well Op is in a situation she deserves.

Sometimes we just have to call out some people bullshit. It is like the story of the man in the sinking boat in the middle of sea, praying that God would come save him. God sent a ships to his path, he refuses to get off till he drowned saying God himself would rescue him.

Someone treats you nice and expresses love for you, loving them back is a choice not a chemical reaction in your brain. Any woman that walks into my life ticking all the box, smart, considerate, loves and wants the best for me, doesn’t withheld herself or anything of hers from me etc i’d learn to love her, fan the flames of my love for her until it becomes the biggest wild fire 🔥 the world has ever seen. A choice you choose not to make.

The grass is not greener on the other side, the grass is green where you water it.

Well there is no one to blame but yourself spare us stories about your upbringing and betrayal in Love. You have made your choice, live with it.

We were together when a very rich young pastor came asking for my hands in marriage. ………… he started showing stinginess.

Little wonder miss independent doesn’t have her own money and had eyes another man’s money.

You didn’t tell us when he wasn’t showing you stinginess; what was giving or buying for your broke ass lol

Lol @ Then he started showing stinginess. What a lowbrow human.

Jewessgratitud3:
Hopefully someone leans from my story. I don't regret any of my decisions so far. I'm happy that in all, I wasn't consumed, used to a point of no return in fact if you see me, you'll hardly believe I'm 42 for say I get small protruding stomach ( which almost everyone has) it's only when I eat. Otherwise its normal. So it's caused by food and I overeat.

I also don't regret not having child outside wedlock cos it would have reduced my chances of getting attention from men even at my age. Yes.. I still get attention like serious advances from single men. This is not to make a boast. In this year alone, I've had two suitors. Very responsible guy and man but the thing with me is that I'm too picky. if I don't like you first, it e go hard. So those two were not my spec and I won't trap myself in a loveless marriage just because of age or "time is going " , if it's not what I want, I won't do it. Call me anything you like, your opinion. I don't kia!

Jewess, thank you for sharing your life with the world. It is a brave thing you just did knowing that more than half of the people here live a a less glamorous life but give the false impression of happiness and progress.

I would only you stopped attacking the male gender as the notorious monikers on nairaland do.

You are not only beautiful, you are also brave and bold. gratitude.

Jewessgratitud3:
author=Newborn27 post=126658739]Wow!


This is deep!

I don't even know what to say or where to start from... truly you're courageous and strong.


At this point, if it comes fine, if not, fine. I'm not the one to make such plans. If I get what I want, oh.. why not but if not, men e go hard o. Like I said... In this year alone, I've had two suitors. A very responsible guy and a man but the thing with me is that I'm too picky. if I don't like you first, it will be very difficult. These two were not my spec and I won't trap myself in a loveless marriage all because of age or "time is going " , if it's not what I want, I won't do it.



Like I told you before, what tickles every one's fancy is different likewise what bothers them.
You may fancy all the bolded and I may not. What you want out of marriage is different from what I want. So it's not a one size fits all" thingy or compulsory that we all must like to do or have things the same way. That is why you will never see me envy married people or people with children because to me it's really nothing. Now, my Mom married at the age of 10 . Had all of us before 30 but died in her Early 40s. So of what use was her early marriage and child-bearing to her? Fine they use us to remember her but she as person, what did she enjoy in her life for achieving those? Just suffered to raise children that she didn't live to see even one grandchild? Abeg abeg.


Why? That's like saying I regret.. I have saidvit countless times that I've never regretted it for once . Ok let me even pause for a moment and try to remember if I ever wished I did.......... 🤔 🤔 🤔.... Ogbeni nothing like that o. Rather I've always thought that if I had married maybe by now I would have left the marriage cos e for don taya me and that's the truth. In fact.. sometimes I used to silently thank my stars that I'm not married with kids in this economy because I can't endure suffering and hardship with children. Not like Im wishing myself hardship but men in this present economy, everyone is facing it and someone like me can't take the heat with such responsibilities even when shared.
There's a friend of mine that always wish to switch places with me saying I'm enjoying because I don't have anything bothering me and I'll tell her I'm glad I don't have those bukata.



Stigmatization? LoL.. see so far e no affect my pocket, whatever anyone says in that regards does not bother me. it's when you listen or go close to people they'll stigmatize you. I don't keep companies. I'm a loner and it helps a lot to stay away from such. No be if I smile with you you come know wether I don marry or not. I feel free saying it here because no body knows me in person and it all ends here. Of course some people in the past have said some things like your twin is married you're here forming oge, but I didn't give a damn because when I look at their lives im doing far better than them and living life to the fullest. Abi What is life about? No be enjoyment? See it's all in your head o.life no hard reach like that




I love my family. They will never pressure you. My dad before he died would be like, if you do anyhow I'll take my daughter back ( referring to my in-laws.) So all his inlaws are pals with him. They'll be like ogor, oya make we go chill. He will tell you, don't stress them for me o. As for the single ones he'll make sure he provides our needs so we don't look outside. Even as a working class lady, my dad when he collects his pension, he will buy a bag of rice and share to every one of us in our various houses. He was still giving me money till his death in 2012 ( miss you pop). My dad na guy man. Him no send o.

Forget, this life is what you make of it. I try as much as I can to enjoy myself and make every minute of it count

@52 or 62 will you still be writing dis

Hmmmm

Enjoy

At 42 there's nothing wrong with you. Keep up your virtues and principles. However don't do long term relationship. Keep the faith. It will happen at the right time.

Depression is real

I salute your decision.

I don't plan on getting married. The stress is just not worth it.

illicit:
U don't wanna have sex with that choir boy and u don't want him to get it


Selfish u

I guess you are getting it now

So what's d point of delaying?

That's the problem with this kind of women. They won't give you sex even when they know you're the all they have still they'll go ahead and prevent you from having it elsewhere...

I like your decision. Not Everyone is entitle to marriage. Like u said one man food is another man poison. Because Mr. A is marriy doesn't mean Mr. B should also be married. We have our own different life to live, different goals and ambition and different perspective in how we see things. So I support ur decision.

henrimoto:
.. present Ma. @ahnie. Come ,let's go see our friend

Hahahahahaha.
Mercychen is a huge vibe on her own,Ahnie too.
Both of them no suppose go the same road

Jewessgratitud3:
author=Newborn27 post=126658739]Wow!


This is deep!

I don't even know what to say or where to start from... truly you're courageous and strong.


At this point, if it comes fine, if not, fine. I'm not the one to make such plans. If I get what I want, oh.. why not but if not, men e go hard o. Like I said... In this year alone, I've had two suitors. A very responsible guy and a man but the thing with me is that I'm too picky. if I don't like you first, it will be very difficult. These two were not my spec and I won't trap myself in a loveless marriage all because of age or "time is going " , if it's not what I want, I won't do it.



Like I told you before, what tickles every one's fancy is different likewise what bothers them.
You may fancy all the bolded and I may not. What you want out of marriage is different from what I want. So it's not a one size fits all" thingy or compulsory that we all must like to do or have things the same way. That is why you will never see me envy married people or people with children because to me it's really nothing. Now, my Mom married at the age of 10 . Had all of us before 30 but died in her Early 40s. So of what use was her early marriage and child-bearing to her? Fine they use us to remember her but she as person, what did she enjoy in her life for achieving those? Just suffered to raise children that she didn't live to see even one grandchild? Abeg abeg.


Why? That's like saying I regret.. I have saidvit countless times that I've never regretted it for once . Ok let me even pause for a moment and try to remember if I ever wished I did.......... 🤔 🤔 🤔.... Ogbeni nothing like that o. Rather I've always thought that if I had married maybe by now I would have left the marriage cos e for don taya me and that's the truth. In fact.. sometimes I used to silently thank my stars that I'm not married with kids in this economy because I can't endure suffering and hardship with children. Not like Im wishing myself hardship but men in this present economy, everyone is facing it and someone like me can't take the heat with such responsibilities even when shared.
There's a friend of mine that always wish to switch places with me saying I'm enjoying because I don't have anything bothering me and I'll tell her I'm glad I don't have those bukata.



Stigmatization? LoL.. see so far e no affect my pocket, whatever anyone says in that regards does not bother me. it's when you listen or go close to people they'll stigmatize you. I don't keep companies. I'm a loner and it helps a lot to stay away from such. No be if I smile with you you come know wether I don marry or not. I feel free saying it here because no body knows me in person and it all ends here. Of course some people in the past have said some things like your twin is married you're here forming oge, but I didn't give a damn because when I look at their lives im doing far better than them and living life to the fullest. Abi What is life about? No be enjoyment? See it's all in your head o.life no hard reach like that




I love my family. They will never pressure you. My dad before he died would be like, if you do anyhow I'll take my daughter back ( referring to my in-laws.) So all his inlaws are pals with him. They'll be like ogor, oya make we go chill. He will tell you, don't stress them for me o. As for the single ones he'll make sure he provides our needs so we don't look outside. Even as a working class lady, my dad when he collects his pension, he will buy a bag of rice and share to every one of us in our various houses. He was still giving me money till his death in 2012 ( miss you pop). My dad na guy man. Him no send o.

Forget, this life is what you make of it. I try as much as I can to enjoy myself and make every minute of it count

Hmmmmmmmmmm

So deep!

Thanks for sharing your story ma'am... I've learnt one or two lessons from the above.


I wish you all the best in all that you do ma'am.

The extent of self delusion is infinitesimal. Alone in your bed, i know you tell yourself the truth atimes.

Anybody that follows her advice does so at her own peril.

U dey take style sell ur profile...may be u go see who wan marry uuu at 42 ,craiz person

Enjoy your life whether single or married

obembet:
Am telling u, many of them stil dey owe palm credit

Hahahahaha... 😂 😂 😂.. ow my gosh

huptin:
The extent of self delusion is infinitesimal. Alone in your bed, i know you tell yourself the truth atimes.

Anybody that follows her advice does so at her own peril.

She posts for everyone to learn not follow her advice