Emperormartin:

That's the problem with this kind of women. They won't give you sex even when they know you're the all they have still they'll go ahead and prevent from having it elsewhere...

Yeah

I don't see anything wrong with what the guy did

She over reacted

I'll advise you to start having a sexual relationship especially with younger men or be a sugar mummy to someone then when the boy is ready to move allow him to leave...

I promise you that boy will not forget the good things you did to him while growing up.

He might even become a son to you which you might not have.

You can start with virgin/near virgin boys that are ready to have sex

obembet:


Am telling u, many of them stil dey owe palm credit

😭😭😭😭😭

Jewessgratitud3:
Hopefully someone leans from my story. I don't regret any of my decisions so far. I'm happy that in all, I wasn't consumed, used to a point of no return in fact if you see me, you'll hardly believe I'm 42. apart from say I get small protruding stomach ( which almost everyone has) and it's only when I eat. Otherwise its normal. So it's caused by food and I overeat.

I also don't regret not having children outside wedlock cos it would have reduced my chances of getting attention from men even at my age. Yes.. I still get attention like serious advances from single men. This is not to make a boast. In this year alone, I've had two suitors. Very responsible guy and another man but the thing with me is that I'm too picky. if I don't like you first, e go hard. So those two were not my spec and I won't trap myself in a loveless marriage just because of age or "time is going " , if it's not what I want, I won't do it. Call me anything you like, your opinion. I don't kia!

I really envy your audacity.

Mind you, that is not a compliment.

From age 60 and above, the consequences of some earlier decisions become clear…

Nextt:


Jewess, thank you for sharing your life with the world. It is a brave thing you just did knowing that more than half of the people here live a a less glamorous life but give the false impression of happiness and progress.

I would only you stopped attacking the male gender as the notorious monikers on nairaland do.

You are not only beautiful, you are also brave and bold. gratitude.

Thanks dear. I appreciate.

I will try to stop bashing them if they respect themselves otherwise na me and them

Problem

Full

EVERYWHERE

Anytime Ashawo give quotes, na to suit themselves. This one don write episode with mumu quotes to make herself feel better.

At the end of the day, she go still go wet her pillow with tears and use cucumber to scatter her pekus.

Those men just dotch bullets.

Jewessgratitud3:
It's amazing how I was contemplating making this post before a member here requested or should I say started asking me questions in that line and being a very free and open person, I promised I was going to post about it.

Well... Let me start from my background and up bringing which also contributed indirectly to my nonregrettable actions that has left me in this wonderful marital status.

I grew up in a Catholic christian home where good virtues moral values were instilled in us by engaging us in christian children activities from an early age. The Most social part of my childhood ( apart from school) was around the church then back home with close monitoring. So there was no room for nonsense even up to our secondary and tertiary level. the monitoring was topnotch. So we didn't really get to do shit like our mates who got exposed early to certain lifestyle,; dating number one.

We were overprotected and shaped with these guidelines that a mindset was formed that boy and girl relationship is a taboo ( and it's true). So we knew better than to toll that part.

In the long run, after I have come off age, it became very difficult to date. This was at age 21. Whenever I manage to give a man a listening ear and he mentions sex, I'll run without looking back because that was a danger sign we were taught to look out for. So i was always running away from men because of premarital sex. It got to a point, after looking like that's the only way to get a husband and I was already in my mid twenties, a time when a girl should be getting ready to settle down, I said ok, let me see if I can bend the rules a bit for this one. This man was a chronic responsible bachelor. So I felt it could work out since he's ready to settle down. He was in his mid 30s the and never married. We were in the same compound. So I gave in and we started dating. Mind you there was no pressure from both parents to get married. My parents will never pressure you to get a suitor.

Being a novice in the game, I never knew men could double date or even knew how to handle one when it happens. So, on this fateful day the randy goat came home with another girl. It was our last born that came and told me some girl came to look for him because everyone in the compound knows us together. I was heartbroken and right there I broke up with him without even finding out who or if what they both have is serious. Though I made him cry cos I started entertaining other boys that have been chyking me and bringing them to the compound but I never had anything with them or knew any of their houses. I was just using the to pepper him. Once they say hi, I'll drag them to the compound and we will sit on top of his car sometimes until he now confided in one of our neighbors who now told me to stop that the man is always crying. E never cry. I showed him two can play that game. He tried coming back but I bulshit him.

After that I locked up and never trusted any man. I began to see why my dad was being overprotective. I didn't date again for almost five years and then men were coming but that was when my own shakara increased. I mean responsible well to do men o. That was when men had good jobs from banking, investment and oil companies in ikoyi and vi both staff from five star hotel like Eko hotels and suites, federal palace cos those were the places I worked so I had many suitors and friends but the moment they mention relationship, Ill take off.

Part 2

It continued like that and I was enjoying my life with peace of mind that I forgot about time or didn't bother about it cos I don't care.

When I entered mid thirties, I said let me loosen up a bit but because Ive gotten used and enjoyed single life with peace of mind to that age, I found it difficult to commit again because anytime I tried, I'll start having anxiety. The thought of him cheating on me or even as little as admiring another woman will just make me unsettled and I'll think of aborting mission before it's too late.

So I said to give one man a chance, he too brought another girl in my absence. I found out from the sister and that was it. I called it off he begged and begged that the lady was forcing herself on him and sending him money bla bla.. he made a conference call with his family begging, my mind was made up I dumped him and moved on to a Choir boy Ive been admiring who was also trying to talk me into a relationship. I truly loved this guy and I think I was older than him in age . Though he refused to tell me his age but I was able to deduce from his Facebook profile cos he wrote class of 2006 while I finished 1999 but because I don't look my age, we just looked like age mate and we loved each other.

I met him when he just finished serving and was squatting. I was out of job then but one thing that made me stick with him was, even though he was not working, he shared whatever little he had with me. We were together when a very rich young pastor came asking for my hands in marriage. I told him about it and he started feeling sad that because he doesn't have a bearing now some guy wants to take me away from him. I on the other hand don't really fancy the pastor but wanted to force myself and see if it will work but it wasn't working because I didn't have feelings for him. To now make matters worse, he started showing stinginess. In the three months we courted, we didn't get to sit together because he's a pastor so we only see in church, stand and talk very briefly and disperse and each time he kept posting me about money I asked for to enable me travel for Xmas and the day was fast approaching. It was my Choir boyfriend that wen to borrow money from one girl selling recharge card to give me to travel. Now coupled with the fact that I don't even like him, i just texted him to look for another sister. The highest he ever bought me was two two hundred naira recharge card a stinkingly rich ajebota pastor for that matter ( 2014) but he would always call me.

Lastly, in 2016, my bobo got a job in Chevron with a nice apartment in lekki. Before then we had a small quarrel and we're not in talking terms because I requested for money for hair to attend my twins introduction and he told me no money but he didn't tell me he was saving for an apartment. Even then, how much? So, after months of not talking, he called and invited me over to see his new place. A surprise I guess. I got there and we had a nice time. He tried to make it up to me. He gave me his short and polo to wear that day and took me to a pepper soup joint. **Smiling**
later we got back and ad I was about to shower, I saw a used shower cap in his bathroom. He now handed me a new one from his wardrobe where there were many more. I asked him who used the one in the bathroom, he said baby don't start again. I held my peace.
The following morning he did something that I can't say for sure what really happened.

I slept over because there was no way I could go back from lekki to the mainland that day. That night he came to disturb me and I told him you know we can't be doing this. Please let wait till everything is formalized. When he wouldn't let me be, I left him and went to sleep on the floor. In the morning he woke up and was saying you, you, I was just looking at you as we were talking someone knocked on the door. It was a ladies voice. My ex went to meet her and they were together for almost 30mins before he came back inside. Me i didn't talk. I suspected he went to do nonsense because his thing was up when he left only to come back and it has come down.

We prepared and left together that morning for work. When I got home, I called and told him off. Na small thing dey vex me. He didn't believe it. So many things on my mind that made me take that huge decision. Men are not worth my type.

Since then till date, I stopped anything relationship especially if it's not a born again and I must like him. I faced my God ever since and decided to give myself peace. I can't stand a cheating partner. Disease dey town and I don't want to end up a baby mama.

Now, with the way things are, no jobs, the few decent men can hardly fend for themselves let alone catering for a family, I just decided to let sleeping dogs lie. Make person no come enter from fry pan to fire. Some family men now are dumping their family and running away from their responsibilities leaving the women to carry all the burden. So tell me what will make marriage enticing to me again? Abi na domestic violence? Biko Biko.

Some things are Gods way of being God. Its not like you are the only one in this whole wide world, sister. God promise all happy ending. May it not come after our time! Your strength is out of this world though.

Newborn27:
Wow!


This is deep!

I don't even know what to say or where to start from... truly you're courageous and strong.

Back to my former question ma....did you still have any plans of getting married or having kids of your own?


Kids are very beautiful my dear sister...money is enjoyable when spent with your loved ones..... watching your baby grow into an adult is also a beautiful thing... having a man who truly loves you for you is also nice.


I'm sure you're happy but more assured that there are days which you wish you were married with kids.
..

How have you being coping with stigmatization?

Pressure from family... friends... co-workers... church members?

BabyMama thins na

ecolime:
I could still feel the pains behind your writeup. Please don't put yourself under any pressure.

Also, know that no one is perfect so don't always look out for men that ticks all your boxes.

God will surely do your own.

pains behind your write up... Are you trying to bullying her into admitting what you want to hear even if it not the truth

It is only when you are in marriage that you notice it's much more work than being single.

I dey like live my life on my terms but marriage has and is still bending me. My partner dey hear am too.
Sometimes when I watch those dancing on Saturdays to officially enter it,I just dey SMH.

If not for home training ,I just want to have 2 kids and travel the world without someone always asking me"What of the kids?" Each time I pack for a conference or training or telling me "we need to try for a girl."
I want to spend time conducting researches.
I want to make money and be a great aunt!
To read again the way I used to.The way I used to be in solitude and immerse myself in books.Chai!
Nigerian men are stressful ,they will find a way to gaslight you even when they are seeing pepper in their own

Jewessgratitude,I hope you live your happiness,whether married or not.

Bluearrow:
Writing this long story obviously means u are not happy. You are just trying to console yourself by saying u are happy. No woman above the age of 40 single is truly happy. It's natural. Work on your character & humble yourself, a man will find u.

More like saying she doesn't care whether she's rich or poor simply because she hasn't tasted wealth.
She said she doesn't regret her decisions one bit but want people to learn. The question is learn what exactly?

soccerlite:


@52 or 62 will you still be writing dis

Hmmmm

Enjoy

At 70 she would still be writing same related story. You can always tell from what she has written. Some people nothing is their fault.

Nawa for some nairaland guys. Person post her story, una dey bash her. Can't you guys respect people's decision.

Why must one be pressurised to fit in a game he/she doesn't wanna play. More women will hide in their shells as you guys become more judgemental.

Emperormartin:
I'll advise you to start having a sexual relationship especially with younger men or be a sugar mummy to someone then when the boy is ready to move allow him to leave...

I promise you that boy will not forget the good things you did to him while growing up.

He might even become a son to you which you might not have.

Evil man

Harddiskng:


When someone says stay away from single Ladies above a certain. You say they are bashing women, but in everything there is an element of truth.

When a Lady who doesn’t want to become a nun is single at 35. It’s a whole list of issues, from attitude to commitment issues…. The list goes on and on



Well Op is in a situation she deserves.

Sometimes we just have to call out some people bullshit. It is like the story of the man in the sinking boat in the middle of sea, praying that God would come save him. God sent a ships to his path, he refuses to get off till he drown saying God himself would rescue him.

I don't get what you mean by situation one deserves.. is not being married a death sentence or bad situation? Your mentality is so warped. If of all the problems in the world, being single is what you see as a problem then you need to get your brain checked because people like you small thing dey lead una into depression and suicide.

I have never and will never see me as being in any situation of life. I'm perfectly ok and doing great. If you see singlehood as a situational thing, then you need help. Please get one ASAP.

LordReed:


So basically you were traumatised into becoming single. Weird flex but ok.

Lord.

Hahahaha

worksmart:
Single or not, you need to get pregnant and start having babies before it is too late.
My candid advice to you.

Is having a child a must? Children doesn't guarantee a high standard of living.. children does guarantee long life.. children doesn't guarantee living a well satisfied life... So why should she have kids when obviously she said she doesn't need them... Live and let live

Gratefullheart:
U dey take style sell ur profile...may be u go see who wan marry uuu at 42 ,craiz person

With her profile she will be good as an older women younger men relationship.

The relationship that lasted long according to her was that choir boy... Which she can harness again from church organization.

A smart younger guy dating her will just play his role well devoid of sex...

It'll be hard on the guy though but they'll definitely enjoy the relationship. Sex will definitely start happening.

This kind of relationship might be uncommon in our country but silently it's beginning to happen

DND069:
Nawa for some nairaland guys. Person post her story, una dey bash her. Can't you guys respect people's decision.

Why must one be pressurised to fit in a game he/she doesn't wanna play. More women will hide in their shells as you guys become more judgemental.

It is normal for them.Eveey thread that doesn't bash Nigerian women doesn't make them happy.

abobote:
Depression is real

Not depression per se but the loneliness. My guy the loneliness will hit you like wtf!

You go feel sick no one to hold you, down. You go masturbate tire and this is the main cause of being single. You give away your sexual energy to yourself.

But all this is temporal if she has family within trekking distance

Jewessgratitud3:


I don't get what you mean by situation one deserves.. is not being married a death sentence or bad situation? Your mentality is so warped. All the problems in the world, being sing is what you see a a problem then get your brain checked because people like you small thing dey lead una into depression and suicide.

I have never and will never see me as being in any situation of life. I'm perfectly ok and doing great. If you see singlehood as a situational thing, then you need help. Please get one ASAP.

It is not a death sentence. Living your happiness, stop writing like you’re some sort of victim.

Inviting us to your pity party. Or now you want the whole world to know you rejected men your whole life but you are still searching and you are happy? All the contradictions, I don’t get it lool

Everybody with his or her own choice of life o.. At some point in life,person go understand say having children of you'd own is important.. Although I didn't read the text book..

Is this mercychen?

Jewessgratitud3:


Yeah. You can say that again.

3ice9ce

A person whose first instinct is to run away at d first sight of trouble isn't matured enough to be in a relationship, forget d age.

Do not date anyone, you will frustrate the person. The guys who you said begged you to no avail... it's not because they r guilty, it's because they can't find closure on how a human being can behave like you. They are using their normal human brain to try understand your own mentally damaged brain.

It's kind of why Hamas has a lot of support, because normal humans can't fathom that a terrorists brain is so damaged that it will go n kill innocent people with such barbarism. So they can't even believe Hamas committed any crime.

The good thing is you won't regret not having a husband so forget about what most nairaland will say. But I guarantee it, you will regret not having your own child.

Emperormartin:
I'll advise you to start having a sexual relationship especially with younger men or be a sugar mummy to someone then when the boy is ready to move allow him to leave...

I promise you that boy will not forget the good things you did to him while growing up.

He might even become a son to you which you might not have.

Ashawo boy. All man I know wey get Emperor as Name na ashawo boy normally lol

Emperormartin:

That's the problem with this kind of women. They won't give you sex even when they know you're the all they have still they'll go ahead and prevent from having it elsewhere...

I was about to say the same. I say, the worse thing wey go happen to you as man na to jam babe wey done swear say she no ever gree you knack.

Lol 🤣🤣 na the man go carry all this thing I dey feel for

abobote:
Depression is real

For you and your likes who see singlehood as a plague but go ahead and marry problems and divorce under 1 year or run a d abandon your family because you can't cope with responsibilities.

Go and check the statics of married men who have dumped their family and run away.

Which is a problem and is supposed to cause depression between these two situations?

Every body sha wan talk.

Jewessgratitud3:


Na today? Trolling got nothing on me. My dear, forget. Nothing wey ears never hear before.

though I really don’t have nothing against u but my problem with u is that u present marriage as bad in majority of your post

If u ain’t posting about your cousins troubled marriage today u are busy talking down on marriage on another thread

Stop talking down on marriage madam

Bluearrow:
Writing this long story obviously means u are not happy. You are just trying to console yourself by saying u are happy. No woman above the age of 40 single is truly happy. It's natural. Work on your character & humble yourself, a man will find u.

Exactly. This is just a self consolation epistle. The reality is that at 42, even if she wants to marry (which deep down she does). She will struggle to find a man.

Women should not deceive themselves. No 42yr old woman has “suitors”. A man going after a 42 yr old woman is not looking for marriage. At that age the men chasing you are either already married or want to marry a younger women or are divorced. At 42, it is a woman who does the “suiting”. At 42 the only option to find a man is to settle for what you turned down in your youth except this time you are the 2nd wife or side chick whereas you were the main chick in your youth.

It is unfortunate that by the time many women realize the realities of dating and matching, it is too late for them. Women do not find husbands like we like to say, men find wives and the age window for a woman to be “found” is limited.

Life lessons for women. A woman is like fresh fish in the market and a man is like the buyer. There is a limited period when the fish remains fresh and can command competition amongst buyers and the best price in the market. If the seller doesn’t strike a deal with a buyer within that period, by evening you will end up discounting the fish and still no buyers or forced to eat your fish yourself, give it out for free or throw them away. So when the fruit is still Fresh, if the price is reasonable you take it because tomorrow there will be new fresh fish and nobody wants your fish anymore. The difference between a woman and a man is that 1). The quality of your fish goes down by the minute 2) you have a limited period to strike a deal with a good buyer, whereas for a man if he goes to market and his money cannot buy good fish today, he can go home work harder and raise the money to buy good fish tomorrow.

The market seller (Women) should remember when their fish is fresh that they are not the only ones in the market with fish, so when you have fresh fish and have competition for your fish, you must strike a deal or else there may never get an opportunity to tell the fish, certainly if you don’t sell while it is fresh, if you manage to sell it will never be at the price you were offered when fresh and which you rejected. So coming after the market has closed with epistle nobody asked you for about how you like the taste of your fish is as they say story for the gods, everybody knows you are eating your fish because there are no buyers.

The problem with many mature women who are still marriable is that they are still pricing their fish at the same price as fresh fish. After 35 you can’t have the same expectations (price) as you had when you were 25. You didn’t get that price when it was fresh how do you expect to get the same price when it isn’t fresh and there is new stock of fresh fish in the market?

[quote author=yesloaded post=126659930][/quote]
Am married o but let be honest I behave to some extent this way just lucky we are working on it and it working.
Life too short to live by many people confusion. Wishing you well ma