₦airaland Forum

Smile4mee01:
I have been abroad for a while now and i am curious to know why some of our ladies decline dating or marrying fellow Nigerians in the diaspora. I have tried to date a few any they are often quick to assume i am after them for their papers while i just prefer my own, someone who understands my culture and where i have come from. Even when i try to date the ones that don't have paper, regular work visa holders like me. They seem to want to be with the guys that have papers.

The answer is simple: there’s little or no “benefits” they’d gain from one another, for instance, when a guy needs a girl for papers or vice versa, of what good will a Naija girl /boy be?

Also, when i am old, i would like to return to Nigeria. Marrying outside would make that transition very difficult.

I study other races, Immigrant groups from India and Asia. they work together well, and don't have these difficulty.

Should i give up on being with a Nigerian or keep trying ?

Regards.

Smile4mee01:
I have been abroad for a while now and i am curious to know why some of our ladies decline dating or marrying fellow Nigerians in the diaspora. I have tried to date a few any they are often quick to assume i am after them for their papers while i just prefer my own, someone who understands my culture and where i have come from. Even when i try to date the ones that don't have paper, regular work visa holders like me. They seem to want to be with the guys that have papers.

Also, when i am old, i would like to return to Nigeria. Marrying outside would make that transition very difficult.

I study other races, Immigrant groups from India and Asia. they work together well, and don't have these difficulty.

Should i give up on being with a Nigerian or keep trying ?

Regards.

o123456789:
Well, a male classmate who happens to be in Germany told me the exact reason why Nigerian men often go for Nigerian women, and the reason he gave is because of crime!!! He explained to me that for example there is a high level of tolerance of domestic violence from Nigerian women but white women don't do that. Secondly Nigerian men who are into crime or plans to go into crime in future are the ones that value Nigerian women because they will never report you to the authorities, but no matter how small a crime is a white woman must report you. On the other hand good Nigerian women always avoid Nigerian men abroad because most of them will implicate you in one crime or the other. I told him that if not that I am already married before traveling to Germany for the first time I would have married a German woman just like him, and take her to any country I reside in because his assertions are true.

LadyRosa2:
When a woman begins to see all men through same lens, the genuine ones will pass that person by.

I remembered the story my friend's dad told us while he was hustling in the UK. Some group of young girls who came for masters were hustling for the big life, for the money.

One of the friend instead decides to date this young guy while her friends will always remind her to 'shine her eyes and move with those who will upgrade her life.

To cut the long story short,during an outing at a fanfare, a technical error happened and both suffered life threatening injuries, broken bones. They survived and through their lawyer sued the company and was hugely compensated.

Omo,na so both returned back to Nigeria and got married. With millions in pounds as compensation wetin dem still dey hustle for in UK?

Klass99:
I am not in the diaspora but I stumbled on a thread where someone made a sensible comment about this same issue.

They said something to the effect of everyone being too smart because of their papers/stay, nobody wants to compromise or make sacrifices, for the sake of an authentic relationship because too much sense is worrying all of you there.Na una know wetin dey worry all of you sha!

From my observations, there's a tendency in most of you japarians to gravitate towards self conceit and a vain superiority complex, where you start to think you're better than other Nigerians because;

1. You've lived in obodo for XYZ number of years or you have papers, so even new immigrant Nigerians are like an affront to you guys (meaning their very presence in your host country is like an offence)

2. You think with your papers you have finally arrived what can any Nigerian offer you again. But your papers alone don't provide healthy social interactions, good friendships or companionship, laughter and fun moments with others.

I see that superiority complex even here on NL with folks who haven't lived overseas for 2 years, I smile and shake my head, thinking to myself, poverty is really not a good thing. When you grow up privileged very little about the white man trips you to a point where you start to insult or look down on your country and fellow country men. Because you grow up knowing what your own people are made of and capable of. It's not so much about privilege alone, but having a healthy dose and sense of self worth, self esteem and self love.

My friend engaged an asian cabbie in conversation in the UK, while riding in his car. The cabbie told her it is very disappointing to see the way we Africans/Nigerians in particular behave overseas. He said we are quick to throw away our cultural values to embrace western ones, we are the ones who are quick to talk back to parents and disrespect them (that was an incident he witnessed in his cab with a Nigerian family)

Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

o123456789:
Well, a male classmate who happens to be in Germany told me the exact reason why Nigerian men often go for Nigerian women, and the reason he gave is because of crime!!! He explained to me that for example there is a high level of tolerance of domestic violence from Nigerian women but white women don't do that. Secondly Nigerian men who are into crime or plans to go into crime in future are the ones that value Nigerian women because they will never report you to the authorities, but no matter how small a crime is a white woman must report you. On the other hand good Nigerian women always avoid Nigerian men abroad because most of them will implicate you in one crime or the other. I told him that if not that I am already married before traveling to Germany for the first time I would have married a German woman just like him, and take her to any country I reside in because his assertions are true.

GO0DHardDick:
Damn!

I don't know what is wrong with some of you guys. You go abroad go dey chase Nigerian girls? Like Dude, are you serious right now?

The earlier you avoid Nigerian girls for your complete sanity, the better for you. u leave USA, Canada, Australian or UK women go Dey chase Nigerian women? Lol seems like you want Parasites and liabilities in your life 🤣

jedisco:
So who are not 'liabilities'?

P.s have you ever seen an airport?

Smile4mee01:
They are also looking for guys with papers. This paper issue has changed the dynamics.

I dont even mind dating someone without papers because I'm on a pathway to getting my papers already.

ednut1:
You dont meet their imaginary standards. Tall, rich, non traditional man, provider who also does chores

Welcomme:
She is talking about the Asians from Muslim countries like Pakistan, Bangladesh, partly Indian, Morroco

Klass99:
I am not in the diaspora but I stumbled on a thread where someone made a sensible comment about this same issue.

They said something to the effect of everyone being too smart because of their papers/stay, nobody wants to compromise or make sacrifices, for the sake of an authentic relationship because too much sense is worrying all of you there.Na una know wetin dey worry all of you sha!

From my observations, there's a tendency in most of you japarians to gravitate towards self conceit and a vain superiority complex, where you start to think you're better than other Nigerians because;

1. You've lived in obodo for XYZ number of years or you have papers, so even new immigrant Nigerians are like an affront to you guys (meaning their very presence in your host country is like an offence)

2. You think with your papers you have finally arrived what can any Nigerian offer you again. But your papers alone don't provide healthy social interactions, good friendships or companionship, laughter and fun moments with others.

I see that superiority complex even here on NL with folks who haven't lived overseas for 2 years, I smile and shake my head, thinking to myself, poverty is really not a good thing. When you grow up privileged very little about the white man trips you to a point where you start to insult or look down on your country and fellow country men. Because you grow up knowing what your own people are made of and capable of. It's not so much about privilege alone, but having a healthy dose and sense of self worth, self esteem and self love.

My friend engaged an asian cabbie in conversation in the UK, while riding in his car. The cabbie told her it is very disappointing to see the way we Africans/Nigerians in particular behave overseas. He said we are quick to throw away our cultural values to embrace western ones, we are the ones who are quick to talk back to parents and disrespect them (that was an incident he witnessed in his cab with a Nigerian family)

Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

Smile4mee01:
I have been abroad for a while
Regards.

Omoawoke:
Na why I don’t think I can marry any of these girls. These girls once they step outside Nigeria do more than the people that grew up in western system. They are the most toxic to deal with, they carry these western life for head pass the original owners
They expect you to be provider and be doing chores. I have seen with my own eyes men doing chores like house boy, a full grown man with beards doing kitchen stuffs, laundry and cleaning and wife cross leg. Tufiaka!!
And the whites, the women still do domestic chores for their husbands but Africans that migrated do pass them

GO0DHardDick:
Are you New on nairaland?

Check on my threads on my experience with my russian woman while I was in Dubai.

Some of you will come online and start displaying your daftness

ednut1:
even Canada that most of us came with permanent residency and papers wasn’t an issue. The Nigerian babes showed men pepper.

i have many friends that started with jobs like customer care and admin while they were doing certificates and training. The Nigerian babes rejected them. But when they got jobs of 90k to 130k a year . The babes came back, but the guys were having none of it. 🤣

The babes also want to live black girl luxury lives( expensive condo, vacations 3 to 4 times a year, eating out everytime etc) . As a guy you are saving for you downpayment and future and will want to live modestly. They will call you broke join 🤣

Omoawoke:
that is woman for you bro, they want instant rewards.... They don't care about your long term plan

Smile4mee01:
I have been abroad for a while now and i am curious to know why some of our ladies decline dating or marrying fellow Nigerians in the diaspora. I have tried to date a few any they are often quick to assume i am after them for their papers while i just prefer my own, someone who understands my culture and where i have come from. Even when i try to date the ones that don't have paper, regular work visa holders like me. They seem to want to be with the guys that have papers.

Also, when i am old, i would like to return to Nigeria. Marrying outside would make that transition very difficult.

I study other races, Immigrant groups from India and Asia. they work together well, and don't have these difficulty.

Should i give up on being with a Nigerian or keep trying ?

Regards.

1Sharon:
You can try dating the ones w/o any papers.

Klass99:
I am not in the diaspora but I stumbled on a thread where someone made a sensible comment about this same issue.

They said something to the effect of everyone being too smart because of their papers/stay, nobody wants to compromise or make sacrifices, for the sake of an authentic relationship because too much sense is worrying all of you there.Na una know wetin dey worry all of you sha!

From my observations, there's a tendency in most of you japarians to gravitate towards self conceit and a vain superiority complex, where you start to think you're better than other Nigerians because;

1. You've lived in obodo for XYZ number of years or you have papers, so even new immigrant Nigerians are like an affront to you guys (meaning their very presence in your host country is like an offence)

2. You think with your papers you have finally arrived what can any Nigerian offer you again. But your papers alone don't provide healthy social interactions, good friendships or companionship, laughter and fun moments with others.

I see that superiority complex even here on NL with folks who haven't lived overseas for 2 years, I smile and shake my head, thinking to myself, poverty is really not a good thing. When you grow up privileged very little about the white man trips you to a point where you start to insult or look down on your country and fellow country men. Because you grow up knowing what your own people are made of and capable of. It's not so much about privilege alone, but having a healthy dose and sense of self worth, self esteem and self love.

My friend engaged an asian cabbie in conversation in the UK, while riding in his car. The cabbie told her it is very disappointing to see the way we Africans/Nigerians in particular behave overseas. He said we are quick to throw away our cultural values to embrace western ones, we are the ones who are quick to talk back to parents and disrespect them (that was an incident he witnessed in his cab with a Nigerian family)

Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

Omoawoke:
People are doing well and living legitimately, off all good things to see, na crime your head carry you go. Why must you be negative all the time, how do you intend to succeed with a negative mindset? This is how you go about destroying our image? Are we known for just crime?? Nigerians are professionals, investors, IT gurus, and even so many professors but na only crime you see

Omoawoke:
Omo, I could imagine how much they got from that suit. It will be in millions of pounds

Smile4mee01:
They are also looking for guys with papers. This paper issue has changed the dynamics.

I dont even mind dating someone without papers because I'm on a pathway to getting my papers already.

1Sharon:
You can try dating the ones w/o any papers.

SAMBARRY:
a lot of nasty guys have ruined the relationship market and taken advantage of the emotions of women for their selfish interests so it's difficult for women to trust Naija men in the diaspora.if you know how many hot breakfast Naija women in diaspora don chop,if you were a woman sef you go dey fear your gender and you know relationship cannot work without trust.

You sef talk to your gender.they should stop leaving negative footprints everywhere they go.theres one of our family Friends that fell victim of Naija men.shes divorced now.im too tired to go into long story (o just came back from work) but she's not considering any Naija man again because deceit, manipulations and wicked craftiness otipoju

RichAbujaGuy:
Bro, get your developed world education, secure the bag, stay in the gym and church around single ladies and you will have your pick of the litter. They will literally fight for your attention.
Also don't shag dem if you want a good one. Many are tired of giving it up, being ran thru and racking up unnecessary mileage on dem totos. 😉

Also, you don't need an expensive fancy car and wardrobe. You don't wanna attract the material minded babes. The slay queens are only good for temporary fun!