Them say who dey ask questions no dey miss road. Although with the Internet crazy people are bound so I am circumspect.

I have been married over 15 years and in that time I have always complained about the way my wife over cooks and then start looking for who to share the food with in the name of giving alms. You would think having managed kitchen and home for that long, food measurement should come naturally.

I have not taking much interest until with the recent inflation and high cost of goods in the market. And why I struggle with the Grace of God to earn a living, madam on the other hand thinks going to the market regularly and living above my salary na achievement without any adjustment. The matter don tire me, I want to simply pick my bags and run but for the kids.

Responsibility is a choice but I think she's abusing it. Giving to the poor comes naturally for me but you must be wise about it. How do i resolve this?

It's simple, sit her down and graph out the rate at which you buy your foodstuffs...some women are funny...or just don't buy any foodstuffs for months. Give her very little money to get foodstuffs. Maybe if she chop beans back to back, her head go correct

Reduce the money u give her naa..why u dey stress person sef.

vazsily:
■ I have not taking much interest until with the recent inflation and high cost of goods in the market. And why I struggle with the Grace of God to earn a living, madam on the other hand thinks going to the market regularly and living above my salary na achievement without any adjustment. The matter don tire me, I want to simply pick my bags and run but for the kids.
Responsibility is a choice but I think she's abusing it. Giving to the poor comes naturally for me but you must be wise about it. How do i resolve this?

If you don't like how she does the cooking, even after letting her know your concerns, then the next best thing for you to do would be to take over the cooking duties so you can help minimize waste and she can maybe spend her energy on other things that need doing.

No be if she gree sit down! My matter dey really complicated. Things are expensive now and it's not funny. She no dey hear. Na to run dey my mind. Bcoz at the rate we dey go na BP remain for me. How do I even make her understand. She go market comes back and nah over cooking. I go the market, same thing. If say these kids are already grown, I swear I will walk away.

The marriage generally done tire you...

It's not only about the over cooking!

Kobojunkiee:
If you don't like how she does the cooking, even after letting her know your concerns, then the next best thing for you to do would be to take over the cooking duties so you can help minimize waste and she can maybe spend her energy on other things that need doing.

For this life wey no plenty. I deserve better; a really partner who can meet me half way. I know been married is hard but earning a living in this current clime is biblical. So i can acknowledge a repeated waste over a decade. If I want to earn and cook for myself I would probably stay unmarried. My mum always says; "who shit dey forget, who pack am no dey forget"!

vazsily:
■ For this life wey no plenty. I deserve better; a really partner who can meet me half way. I know been married is hard but earning a living in this current clime is biblical. So i can acknowledge a repeated waste over a decade. If I want to earn and cook for myself I would probably stay unmarried. My mum always says; "who shit dey forget, who pack am no dey forget"!

You are not the first man to earn money abeg and you are not the first man to earn and cook at the same time, so please make we hear word. If you wanted a wife who earned money for her family too, you would have married a woman who did just that so let's not deviate.

You have a situation where clearly, you and your wife see things differently. Instead of creating an issue where an issue really ought not to exist— anyone can cook— the easiest solution would be to take over the cooking yourself and do so the way you prefer it done. They say if you want something done right you have to do it yourself that is why I gave you the suggestion from earlier.

brain54:
The marriage generally done tire you...

It's not only about the over cooking!

That's the Internet for you, where your good morning has a thousand interpretations. Read again carefully this time!

Start dishing the food by yourself after she finishes cooking

Kobojunkiee:
You are not the first man to earn money abeg and you are not the first man to earn and cook at the same time, so please make we hear the word. If you wanted a wife who earned money for her family too, you would have married a woman who did just that so let's not deviate.

You have a situation where clearly, you and your wife see things differently. Instead of creating an issue where an issue really ought not to exist— anyone can cook— the easiest solution would be to take over the cooking yourself and do so the way you prefer it done. They say if you want something done right you have to do it yourself that is why I gave you the suggestion from earlier.

He who wears a shoe knows where it hurts the most! In summary i should quit complaining and cook myself after all i won't be the first; your suggestion!! I will not divulge beyond my complaint of food waste and it is pertinent to note that I am least astonished by your off key notes. Why you tell Tinubu make e self fuel for petrol station so that the price will be exactly how he wants it bcoz he cannot delegate or rely on his subordinate!!

vazsily:


He who wears a shoe knows where it hurts the most! In summary i should quit complaining and cook myself after all i won't be the first. I will no divulge beyond my complaint of food waste. But it is pertinent to note that I am least astonished by your off key notes. Why you tell Tinubu make e self fuel for petrol station so that the price will be exactly how he wants it.

I read carefully the first time...

Between the lines too. And this your comment only proves my first comment to be right that there are other issues/complaints you were suppressing that have made you frustrated to the extent of wanting to abandon your marriage.


It's not just about the food issue definitely. I can also deduce your madam might be an obstinate person.

So yes when you write don't think you can condition everyone's mind to the direction you want to convey!

garriAndsugar:
Start dishing the food by yourself after she finishes cooking

This is nauseating!! I totally forgot to place a caveat; only matured and experienced married persons can comment pls.

vazsily:
■ He who wears a shoe knows where it hurts the most! In summary i should quit complaining and cook myself after all i won't be the first; your suggestion!! I will not divulge beyond my complaint of food waste and it is pertinent to note that I am least astonished by your off key notes. Why you tell Tinubu make e self fuel for petrol station so that the price will be exactly how he wants it bcoz he cannot delegate or rely on his subordinate!!

Is Tinubu in this marriage with you or what?

vazsily:
Them say who dey ask this?

In my own perspective divorcing the crazy bitch would have saved you a great deal of troubles

brain54:

I read carefully the first time...

Between the lines too. And this your comment only proves my first comment to be right that there are other issues/complaints you were suppressing that have made you frustrated to the extent of wanting to abandon your marriage.


It's not just about the food issue definitely. I can also deduce your madam might be an obstinate person.

So yes when you write don't think you can condition everyone's mind to the direction you want to convey!

Well your assumptions are simply that of a student who prefers to tell the examiner what he thinks will be the answer. Fyi, been married has its theatrics but how do you manage repeated waste was the question? As a bachelor I know what my guage was and except I have guests, that's when I adjust. Haven't you wondered why the eatery Chicken Republic tastes the same no matter the location? Its simply a guided measurement system!

OP, fear those under 30 singles.... Imagine someone telling u to cook if u dnt like how she waste food 😂😂😂😂😂

Kobojunkiee:
Is Tinubu in this marriage with you or what?

Abeg no vex!! Na me find trouble!

Adexvivacity:
OP, fear those under 30 singles.... Imagine someone telling u to cook if u dnt like how she waste food 😂😂😂😂😂

The thing flip me go one side, I swerrr!!

Bro, you just need to do the measuring yourself and authorize the quantity to cook. You might be doing it every weekend. You get nylon and package the quantity she's expected to cook daily for a week.

vazsily:


The thing flip me go one side, I swerrr!!

you never talk reason why you wan run leave marriage.
I'll advise you to talk to your wife about her extravagant cooking. She can cook soup for example and store in the freezer. Let her cook to freeze them instead of giving out. Except you don't have a freezer then you can involve your in-laws in the matter.

For this bad economy na im dem dey waste food? No nau!!

I think Kobo is right in a way, maybe when your wife sees you measuring the quantity of food and heading to the kitchen to cook, I think that will make her realise how serious you are about wasting food.

Kobojunkiee:
If you don't like how she does the cooking, even after letting her know your concerns, then the next best thing for you to do would be to take over the cooking duties so you can help minimize waste and she can maybe spend her energy on other things that need doing.

man has gone out to earn a living and feed the home the only thing that’s probably required of the wife is the cooking but you still want the man to take over the cooking while “she spend her energy something else”

if spending her energy on something else means she will go out to earn money and buy food stuff for the house then no problem, otherwise she no get any other job than to live according to the mama means

If she wan do Sara for people make she use her personal money do am

Those of you advising the man to measure the food to cook or take over the cooking are very însane

So as a man I toils my asss out to make a living for my family and my wife can’t help to manage that, even after fifteen years

Op talk to your wife about her wasteful spending sing and probably draw up the living cost and how it’s affecting you drastically, if she doesn’t head, stop buying food inside the house in large quantities, some women just be enemy of progress

Gadafii:
■ man has gone out to earn a living and feed the home the only thing that’s probably required of the wife is the cooking but you still want the man to take over the cooking while “she spend her energy something else”
■ if spending her energy on something else means she will go out to earn money and buy food stuff for the house then no problem, otherwise she no get any other job than to live according to the mama means
■ If she wan do Sara for people make she use her personal money do am

Woman can equally go out to earn a living and feed the home. So man lamenting that he chose to do it all alone when no one forced him to do so does not make sense to me.

2. Let the man and woman decide for themselves how they will divvy up responsibilities so they can live together in harmony at the end is all I am concerned about.

3. Again, see #2 response.

Kobojunkiee:
Woman can equally go out to earn a living and feed the home. So man lamenting that he chose to do it all alone when no one forced him to do so does not make sense to me.

2. Let the man and woman decide for themselves how they will divvy up responsibilities so they can live together in harmony at the end is all I am concerned about.

3. Again, see #2 response.

he’s not complaining that he is fending for the family alone, he’s complaining his wife is wasting the scarce resources don’t you get it

Besides what other thing were you advising her to pens her energy on if the man takes over cooking

Fountainofyouth:
I think Kobo is right in a way, maybe when your wife sees you measuring the quantity of food and heading to the kitchen to cook, I think that will make her realise how serious you are about wasting food.

For here, oyinbo husband dey take over cooking duties easy — many of them used to cook for themselves even as bachelors so no big deal— while wife go go do laundry or mow lawn and other stuff. Nigerian men think that their heads big pass everyone else own. Na wa o!

Gadafii:
■ he’s not complaining that he is fending for the family alone, he’s complaining his wife is wasting the scarce resources don’t you get it
■ Besides what other thing were you advising her to pens her energy on if the man takes over cooking

1. He is not yet you saw fit to mention that he supposedly fends for the family, why?

2. OP created the thread to seek advice on what best resolve there may be. Why should I advice the wife when she is not here?

vazsily:
Them say who dey ask questions no dey miss road. Although with the Internet crazy people are bound so I am circumspect.

I have been married over 15 years and in that time I have always complained about the way my wife over cooks and then start looking for who to share the food with in the name of giving alms. You would think having managed kitchen and home for that long, food measurement should come naturally.

I have not taking much interest until with the recent inflation and high cost of goods in the market. And why I struggle with the Grace of God to earn a living, madam on the other hand thinks going to the market regularly and living above my salary na achievement without any adjustment. The matter don tire me, I want to simply pick my bags and run but for the kids.

Responsibility is a choice but I think she's abusing it. Giving to the poor comes naturally for me but you must be wise about it. How do i resolve this?

You too, stop buying overfood" at home, when she sees that the food in the house can barely feed herself and kids, nobody would tell her to adjust.
To force her to adjust, when foods finish, don't buy that day, complaining lamenting for her, that you don't have money and that u have borrowed part of ur salary even before month end. This may force her to use her own money, when she does that, she will understand how things hard in Naija now.

vazsily:


Abeg no vex!! Na me find trouble!

Don't reply to that moniker next time.

It's probably a bot or virus, not our fellow human

Start seeing another woman and channel your money to her

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