Simple

Your wife is definitely one of those sit-at-home jobless women who do nothing but stay in the house and have some group of other women she gossips with all day long.

Na those women she dey give that food. You better send her packing before she will destroy you

Sit her down and tell her we are cutting down on things to facel the current reality of things.

If it was her money I can bet she won't be wasting food like that especially at this time. She is yet to know the value of money abd the difficulty to get it.

I always complained about the way my wife over cooks and then start looking for who to share the food with in the name of giving alms

Maybe your wife is from the north lolz that reminds me of one of my colleague at work na so em wife dey oo Xmas bag of rice before now now e done finish...

Bro that's her nature keep talking to her till she adjust

vazsily:


He who wears a shoe knows where it hurts the most! In summary i should quit complaining and cook myself after all i won't be the first; your suggestion!! I will not divulge beyond my complaint of food waste and it is pertinent to note that I am least astonished by your off key notes. Why you tell Tinubu make e self fuel for petrol station so that the price will be exactly how he wants it bcoz he cannot delegate or rely on his subordinate!!

How about refrigerating the left overs yourself and ensuring you don't give her food money until everything is consumed?

If you have enough money. Take a month to buy the quantity you only need with retailer close to you and if she ask why. Tell her the reason. That's how I treat my woman when a bag of rice doesn't last a month. She has been sharing with neighbour and friends..I reset back to buying a plastic then turn to derica by derica, her brain reset on the wasteful part

Kobojunkiee:
If you don't like how she does the cooking, even after letting her know your concerns, then the next best thing for you to do would be to take over the cooking duties so you can help minimize waste and she can maybe spend her energy on other things that need doing.

vazsily:


He who wears a shoe knows where it hurts the most! In summary i should quit complaining and cook myself after all i won't be the first; your suggestion!! I will not divulge beyond my complaint of food waste and it is pertinent to note that I am least astonished by your off key notes. Why you tell Tinubu make e self fuel for petrol station so that the price will be exactly how he wants it bcoz he cannot delegate or rely on his subordinate!!

I wanted to quote that person until I saw your reply. That person must be a lady who reasons like toilet. How can one expect a grown man who happens to be the bread winner of the family to retire back to domestic duties. He doesn't have work to do out there or what? He should leave his job and come and be running breakfast, Lunch and dinner na, mtchewww.

Kobojunkiee:
If you don't like how she does the cooking, even after letting her know your concerns, then the next best thing for you to do would be to take over the cooking duties so you can help minimize waste and she can maybe spend her energy on other things that need doing.

..so that she can spend her energy in making money. Why is it so hard for you to say it.

komzy589:
■ ...so that she can spend her energy in making money. Why is it so hard for you to say it.

The man and woman know what other important task she can busy herself with. I don't. His wife making money may not have been of importance to the man from the beginning so it is not my place to state that it should be.

vazsily:


He who wears a shoe knows where it hurts the most! In summary i should quit complaining and cook myself after all i won't be the first; your suggestion!! I will not divulge beyond my complaint of food waste and it is pertinent to note that I am least astonished by your off key notes. Why you tell Tinubu make e self fuel for petrol station so that the price will be exactly how he wants it bcoz he cannot delegate or rely on his subordinate!!

You waste your precious time replying that attention seeker instead of you to read and pass. The first lady I married do more than what this one is doing. Their type want to make man look stupid. The best way to deal with them is to totally ignore them. She's begging me to make her my second wife now. But the ship has already sail. If my present wife misbehave, I will send her packing. She behave herself because she knows the kind of person I am. I no dey take shit from them unto feeding, shelter and establishing you, you go dey give me wahala. Who does that. No time to waste time.

1. Go with her to the market for 2 weeks. Or at least, follow through on every purchase.

2. Talk about the expenses, jovially, every day for these 2 weeks.

3. After the 2 weeks, call her and tell her the changes (if you guys run a man is thr leader household), or you both discuss and agree on the changes (if you run a partnership household).

There may be some things you don't see. And the inflation. In Naija is really bad.

Anyhow you know you can pass the message, pls do so. Even if it means little quarrel pla go ahead. I quite understand you very well. Some women won't hear until things go completely out of hand.. no gree her abeg .

vazsily:
No be if she gree sit down! My matter dey really complicated. Things are expensive now and it's not funny. She no dey hear. Na to run dey my mind. Bcoz at the rate we dey go na BP remain for me. How do I even make her understand. She go market comes back and nah over cooking. I go the market, same thing. If say these kids are already grown, I swear I will walk away.

Sir, you're not a kid in this game of marriage .... For crying out loud, your marriage is 15years.

Just sit and device a means of talking sense into the woman. Reduce by 50% the amount you give her, gradually she go receive sense.

The brain of most women na one way traffic

sit her down and talk the talk. Or make her feed the family for one month.

Oga,

Honestly, I think Kobojunkie is trying to help.

I think she wants you to either see the real costs that your wife is managing, or/and make you see the benefits of a wife who also brings in money.

You either need to take over the cooking duties to see the realities. A housewife may see that as a big insult so thread carefully.

I think you should follow up, in a loving way, with your wife for 2 weeks. Just to see wgat is going on. Then after that, you make changes.

vazsily:


For this life wey no plenty. I deserve better; a really partner who can meet me half way. I know been married is hard but earning a living in this current clime is biblical. So i can acknowledge a repeated waste over a decade. If I want to earn and cook for myself I would probably stay unmarried. My mum always says; "who shit dey forget, who pack am no dey forget"!

Kobojunkiee:
If you don't like how she does the cooking, even after letting her know your concerns, then the next best thing for you to do would be to take over the cooking duties so you can help minimize waste and she can maybe spend her energy on other things that need doing.

So he will bring money for the foodstuff nd still cook the food by himself.
What will madam be doing?

phemy36:


You waste your precious time replying that attention seeker instead of you to read and pass. The first lady I married do more than what this one is doing. Their type want to make man look stupid. The best way to deal with them is to totally ignore them. She's begging me to make her my second wife now. But the ship has already sail. If my present wife misbehave, I will send her packing. She behave herself because she knows the kind of person I am. I no dey take shit from them unto feeding, shelter and establishing you, you go dey give me wahala. Who does that. No time to waste time.

Wooow.... This is exactly what most women needs... Serious iron hand

He can do it to show his wife how to reduce costs.

He can also do it to see that the changes needed mean that he and kids will start eating pork, or eating 1 meat, or drinking tea once a week.

Nikes:

I wanted to quote that person until I saw your reply. That person must be a lady who reasons like toilet. How can one expect a grown man who happens to be the bread winner of the family to retire back to domestic duties. He doesn't have work to do out there or what? He should leave his job and come and be running breakfast, Lunch and dinner na, mtchewww.

Gadafii:
man has gone out to earn a living and feed the home the only thing that’s probably required of the wife is the cooking but you still want the man to take over the cooking while “she spend her energy something else”

if spending her energy on something else means she will go out to earn money and buy food stuff for the house then no problem, otherwise she no get any other job than to live according to the mama means

If she wan do Sara for people make she use her personal money do am

No mind Kobo
She is too bias

Go and give iron hand to the wrong woman and she will show you pepper.

As long as love and respect dey, you CAN TALK WITH YOUR WIFE.

tbliss22:


Wooow.... This is exactly what most women needs... Serious iron hand

Kobojunkiee:
Woman can equally go out to earn a living and feed the home. So man lamenting that he chose to do it all alone when no one forced him to do so does not make sense to me.

2. Let the man and woman decide for themselves how they will divvy up responsibilities so they can live together in harmony at the end is all I am concerned about.

3. Again, see #2 response.

I can't marry a woman let her sit in the house doing nothing. No contribution, just a liability: Her up-keep for your head, Money for food even ordinary toiletries for your head.
It can't be possible.
Better support her with a huge sum of money to start something.

Madam is cooking now but oga doesn't like the costs.

Let them work together to reduce the costs.

What is the big deal. This doesn't have to be a gender war.

Dyfynezz12:

So he will bring money for the foodstuff nd still cook the food by himself.
What will madam be doing?

Oga re u saying u can’t control ur wife of 15years I don’t understand ! Is she the one paying for the food stuffs ? If yes plz enjoy

vazsily:
Them say who dey ask questions no dey miss road. Although with the Internet crazy people are bound so I am circumspect.

I have been married over 15 years and in that time I have always complained about the way my wife over cooks and then start looking for who to share the food with in the name of giving alms. You would think having managed kitchen and home for that long, food measurement should come naturally.

I have not taking much interest until with the recent inflation and high cost of goods in the market. And why I struggle with the Grace of God to earn a living, madam on the other hand thinks going to the market regularly and living above my salary na achievement without any adjustment. The matter don tire me, I want to simply pick my bags and run but for the kids.

Responsibility is a choice but I think she's abusing it. Giving to the poor comes naturally for me but you must be wise about it. How do i resolve this?

Woman wey don bmgive you pikin, come dey go market dey cook??

The OP only said the costs are high. Why are you people adding pepper and salt??

ThunderFireAgba:

I can't marry a woman let her sit in the house doing nothing. No contribution, just a liability: Her up keep for your head, Money for food even ordinary toiletries for your head. It can't be possible.
Better support her with a huge sum of money to start something.

4KNGOATS:

In my own perspective divorcing the crazy bitch would have saved you a great deal of troubles

The way una dey dish advice for here sef...all these 'thank you ma" children fa.

vazsily:


For this life wey no plenty. I deserve better; a really partner who can meet me half way. I know been married is hard but earning a living in this current clime is biblical. So i can acknowledge a repeated waste over a decade. If I want to earn and cook for myself I would probably stay unmarried. My mum always says; "who shit dey forget, who pack am no dey forget"!

Don’t ever think your life wife is your partner, Oyibo is using that word to sow the seed of equality into marriages. She is not your partner but your wife and looks up to you for guidance, you are her husband and directs/delegates. Your authority comes secondary to God. Once you understand this hierarchy you’ll know your word is final, else na village you dey see yourself so.
Women are naturally consumer based hence their impulsive spending habits while Men are intrinsically producer based hence their conservative nature in parting with scarce funds, this also makes men financially savvy.
Your authority on monetary issues as the primary provider should be supreme. What you say should go unchallenged. If you go broke tomorrow (God forbid) will your wife not adjust her lavish cooking habits? No let madam send you go village.
Be the man of your home and take control of the PURSE else you’ll be the next BP patient waiting for the NURSE.
Enough said!

Dyfynezz12:
■ So he will bring money for the foodstuff nd still cook the food by himself.
■ What will madam be doing?

When he was single he would bring money for foodstuff and still do the cooking. The same probably applies to madam as well. So?.

2. That is between him and his madam to decide.

You started it with her.

And it will only takes the grace of God to realign to the current reality with her.

I really understand what you're passing through.

TALK TO HER ABOUT YOUR SITUATION NOW or YOU DEVISE A STRATEGIC APPROACH SO SHE CAN FOLLOW... You just need to map out how much you want to be spending every month. like buying every foodstuffs needed and be giving her small money only on Saturdays morning.

ALSO TRY TO COMPLAIN TO HER PARENTS ABOUT IT .. If it persist!

N/B: Such type of women will run you down and abandon you when e red.

IT HAPPENED TO MY FRIEND..WHICH I WAS THE FAMILY BEST FRIEND.
They had 3 kids. But today the girl left him in pH and ran to Lagos with the children to be flexing her life.

MANY MAY NOT REALLY UNDERSTAND THIS THING YOU'RE COMPLAINING NOW.

Kobojunkiee:
The man and woman know what other important task she can busy herself with. I don't. His wife making money may not have been of importance to the man from the beginning so it is not my place to state that it should be.

It’s kinda stale and unbelievable; the part where you’re pretending not to know that earning their own money is hard for most women to do.
I wouldn’t settle for a woman who doesn’t work and earn her own money but most Nigerian women count themselves privileged to only contribute in doing domestic chores and household runs.

Kobojunkiee:
You are not the first man to earn money abeg and you are not the first man to earn and cook at the same time, so please make we hear word. If you wanted a wife who earned money for her family too, you would have married a woman who did just that so let's not deviate.

You have a situation where clearly, you and your wife see things differently. Instead of creating an issue where an issue really ought not to exist— anyone can cook— the easiestsolution would be to take over the cooking yourself and do so the way you prefer it done. They say if you want something done right you have to do it yourself that is why I gave you the suggestion from earlier.

stop giving wrong advice here, there is nothing wrong with what the person up there said. This is Africa not Europe, which one is anybody can cook? A woman is hell bent on sending her husband back to the village with her unesessary wastage and all you have to say is the man should start cooking by himself instead.

4KNGOATS:

In my own perspective divorcing the crazy bitch would have saved you a great deal of troubles

He didn't refer to his wife as a "bitch". He's only asking for "advice"

@vazsily was comfortable with his wife's behavior from the beginning. Not the hard economy, he wouldn't see anything wrong with it.

Have a talk with your wife. You mentioned she wouldn't listen; that's a big error from your part. Besides, who's the man of the house between you two