How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents - Family

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How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents - Family - Nairaland

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How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by Purvan(m): 2:12am On Jan 10

Nlders with toxic parents, how long did you take you to realize the only solution is to cut contact?

For me , I had a desire to cut contact since my teens but I could never understand why and stayed in denial. I moved out in my early 20s and kept contact to minimum. It was only when I turned 30 that I had the courage to examine the past and accept that my parents used me as a punching bag for their personal failures in life.

Now I'm working on fixing it because I understand that they will not be around forever and I don't want to end our relationship on a bad note.

My advice is that you talk with them about it and explain how it harmed you. They might understand

22 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by FRANCISTOWN: 6:58am On Jan 10

Purvan:
Nlders with toxic parents, how long did you take you to realize the only solution is to cut contact?

For me , I had a desire to cut contact since my teens but I could never understand why and stayed in denial. I moved out in my early 20s and kept contact to minimum. It was only when I turned 30 that I had the courage to examine the past and accept that my parents used me as a punching bag for their personal failures in life.

Now I'm working on fixing it because I understand that they will not be around forever and I don't want to end our relationship on a bad note.

My advice is that you talk with them about it and explain how it harmed you. They might understand

@The emboldened really makes my heart glad.
This is the kind of topics we should start seeing more on this Forum.
No be all the time little boys and girls go dey whine with their nonsense relationship matter.

28 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by MANNABBQGRILLS: 2:19pm On Jan 10

Toxic parents tend to overstep boundaries, ignore boundaries and set boundaries without communicating them to the child.
This all impacts the ability of the child to relate to the parent in a healthy way
and Toxic parenting abound in this nation.
Healing from being brought up by toxic parents can be a challenging but important process.
It is important to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals.

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by KnowledgePower7: 2:19pm On Jan 10

No matter how pure and clean and gentle a SEED looks
It still need a dirty soil that is filled with manure, bacteria, worms and fertilizer inorder to grow up to a plant.

Sometimes, growing up in such environment push you to become a better version than your popsi.

There are mistakes my dad did that I can never do, I learnt from their mistakes

Forget!!!!
Our parents don't know shit!!!!

Our generation is 10 times more informed and aware of a lot of things

Our parents literally entered adulthood without any orientation other than church.

So you have parents who were so awful at raising kids but will use African culture and religion to cover it up

It's now we have internet we are more exposed and we now have awareness

The next generation will be more free
More liberals
More risk takers than the previous generation
More inovations More breaking records
That is the POWER of information

Cut your parents some slack
The truth is they are ashamed to tell you that they themselves are still learning about life. Some of them have not figured it out yet

74 Likes 15 Shares

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by maureensylvia(f): 2:19pm On Jan 10

Set boundaries, communicate clearly, and seek support either from friends and family.

Remember, you can't control your parents' behavior, but you can control how you respond to them.

12 Likes

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by EmperorTolson: 2:19pm On Jan 10

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by MANNABBQGRILLS: 2:19pm On Jan 10

Now I'm working on fixing it because I understand that they will not be around forever and I don't want to end our relationship on a bad note

Best decision ever.......

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by AntiWailer: 2:20pm On Jan 10

Don’t argue with them alway.

Ok Sir

ok Ma.

U can come back later and make it look u attempted and it did not work and need their advice in another direction.

Making u punching bag was for ur own good.

That was the best way they thought u could be better

1 Like

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by PencilBox: 2:21pm On Jan 10

Abeg make somebody help me with anything for transport fare to work for this month.

6014300409
Fidelity bank

Abeg

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by Jewessgratitud3: 2:21pm On Jan 10

My parents were not toxic but my Mom was a bit on the harsh side. She would smack and hit at the slightest and this made me distant from her. So what I did was avoid direct confrontations with her by doing any task I already know is my duty before she even asks.

I also try to stay away from the house whenever she's around and prefer following my dad to his relaxation spots in the evenings till late in the night when I know she'll be preparing to retire to bed. Though we lost her quite early @ (43) and missed her so greatly for not being around to make necessary amends now that we are much older and more mature.

I now understand why she handled us that way. It was because she married so early and had us quite early too so we all grew up like siblings . Well too bad all this realizations are coming late years after her demise.

10 Likes

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by michlins(m): 2:21pm On Jan 10

Learn from the experience and ensure that it ends with you. Your kids will and shouldn't share the burden

3 Likes

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by MANNABBQGRILLS: 2:23pm On Jan 10

maureensylvia:
Reading

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by John389(m): 2:23pm On Jan 10

Pray for them. There's nothing God can not do

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by MANNABBQGRILLS: 2:24pm On Jan 10

John389:
Pray for them. There's nothing God can not do

What God cannot do does not exist.....

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by Sholaco: 2:24pm On Jan 10

Brilliant courage 💪.
They may have been doing all those nasty treatments out of ignorance.
They forgot that they are your driver to the world and they owe you the duty of proper care.
Good bless you, love them 💕

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by Skillsnigeria: 2:25pm On Jan 10

Hmmm

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by JayPeeOham: 2:25pm On Jan 10

Purvan:
Nlders with toxic parents, how long did you take you to realize the only solution is to cut contact?

For me , I had a desire to cut contact since my teens but I could never understand why and stayed in denial. I moved out in my early 20s and kept contact to minimum. It was only when I turned 30 that I had the courage to examine the past and accept that my parents used me as a punching bag for their personal failures in life.

Now I'm working on fixing it because I understand that they will not be around forever and I don't want to end our relationship on a bad note.

My advice is that you talk with them about it and explain how it harmed you. They might understand

How do you deal with a mother who has confessed that she used your destiny and is the reason why you have been struggling all your life and living from hand to mouth. Despite all your hard work and perseverance, nothing to show for it!
She even go as far as transferring such ill-treatment to your wife and children, her own grand children, please how do you deal with such?

This question has been on my mind since late last year when I got the news and it has been a huge burden to me!

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by MANNABBQGRILLS: 2:25pm On Jan 10

What does the Bible say about toxic parents?

Parents are told to not cause their children any undue stress. Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by Kingosytex(m): 2:25pm On Jan 10

post=127874299:
Toxic parents tend to overstep boundaries, ignore boundaries and set boundaries without communicating them to the child.
This all impacts the ability of the child to relate to the parent in a healthy way
and Toxic parenting abound in this nation.
Healing from being brought up by toxic parents can be a challenging but important process.
It is important to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals.

You're so on point.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by Houseofglam7(f): 2:28pm On Jan 10

You cut em off for your sanity.

5 Likes

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by maureensylvia(f): 2:29pm On Jan 10

[quote author= post=127874363][/quote]
😎

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by Coolsat(m): 2:30pm On Jan 10

Africans don't talk about toxic parents, they are always right and your heaven is right on their fit, a lot of damaged people out there due to this

8 Likes

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by Sholaco: 2:30pm On Jan 10

JayPeeOham:

How do you deal with a mother who has confessed that she used your destiny and is the reason why you have been struggling all your life and living from hand to mouth. Despite all your hard work and perseverance, nothing to show for it!
She even go as far as transferring such ill-treatment to your wife and children, her own grand children, please how do you deal with such?

This question has been on my mind since late last year when I got the news and it has been a huge burden to me!

You can't skin her alive.
Are those confessions directly from her mouth, like for real or a manipulation from the gods of men?
Don't believe in the prophet of doom trying to pitch you against your mother o
It shall be well with you.
Please love you mother for whom she is and you will see the favor of God and that of men

6 Likes

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by Amotekun777: 2:32pm On Jan 10

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by Kharol1234: 2:33pm On Jan 10

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by Slurity(m): 2:34pm On Jan 10

Purvan:
Nlders with toxic parents, how long did you take you to realize the only solution is to cut contact?

For me , I had a desire to cut contact since my teens but I could never understand why and stayed in denial. I moved out in my early 20s and kept contact to minimum. It was only when I turned 30 that I had the courage to examine the past and accept that my parents used me as a punching bag for their personal failures in life.

Now I'm working on fixing it because I understand that they will not be around forever and I don't want to end our relationship on a bad note.

My advice is that you talk with them about it and explain how it harmed you. They might understand

I dont think they will ever understand. I thought i am the only one in this shoe but now I know that some parent are not meant to be parent to some children.

5 Likes

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by Musty112: 2:34pm On Jan 10

Through patience. That's your own test.

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by kkins25(m): 2:34pm On Jan 10

What do you mean when you say fix?

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by dalass(f): 2:36pm On Jan 10

Purvan:
Nlders with toxic parents, how long did you take you to realize the only solution is to cut contact?

For me , I had a desire to cut contact since my teens but I could never understand why and stayed in denial. I moved out in my early 20s and kept contact to minimum. It was only when I turned 30 that I had the courage to examine the past and accept that my parents used me as a punching bag for their personal failures in life.

Now I'm working on fixing it because I understand that they will not be around forever and I don't want to end our relationship on a bad note.

My advice is that you talk with them about it and explain how it harmed you. They might understand

Toxic people are usually narcissists. They prey on people they perceive to be soft / weak... Until you deal with them by cutting off, you can't escape their toxicity. But once they realize that you're actually doing good without their controlling grasp, they will sir up because they're usually manipulative and stubborn in that horrible attitude. cool

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Deal With Toxic Parents by Sirchiboy: 2:36pm On Jan 10

This is what I am facing.
My parents damaged my childhood and made me an object of ridicule.

1 Like

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