I need your input people.

3 years ago, my dad sold our house without informing anyone of us. Meanwhile, we all had things left at home, including my mum's items. He never told us where some of those things are till date.

He sold that house and went to the village, he immediately started having issues with the village people. Fight today, fight tomorrow. Everyone in the village I heard now disrespect him due to how he reveal his secrets to anyone who cares to listen.

My dad wants to leave the village to go rent an apartment in another state. His financial responsibility has been on me alone. My siblings abandoned him.

He's being nursing the idea of leaving the village and never informed me. Last november I spent almost 2 million naira fixing solar power and inverter for him in his house at the village and immediately after that he started saying he wants to leave the village..

I told my dad never to relocate to the village yet, that he should wait till his is older as he is still agile and all his friends are in the state where we lived or around. He also gets contracts once in a while so I don't bear much financial burden. But no, he failed to listen and sold our house and left.

My dad wants me to cough out another 1M to rent a house, he wants it big, 3 bedroom. I told him to look for a 2 bedroom but he said where would visitors stay.

I am not even comfortable seeing him in a rented apartment, what would my cousins say, they would mock us. I have some of them who are very naughty. He is bringing shame in us.

We have two properties and my husband wants him to come and stay in one, I vehemently disagreed because he will be controlling us, some of my extended family members will come visiting him and carry the news to the village, as well as discussing my own family and I don't want that. They contributed to what is happening to him now. Through him, some of them will come to stay and I can not start what I can't continue with. So I told my husband to dead that idea fast.

He wants to leave the village latest by February. How do I convince him to get a 2 bedroom flat? 3 bedroom would mean 3 mattresses, and everything triple. My dad doesn't like anything less. All the expenses will be on me alone. My siblings don't care.

I can't turn deaf ears to his needs. I don't want him in the village and I hate to see him in a rented apartment but that is what it is now.

I need contructive advice especially those of us with retired parents, how do you relate with their needs? I told him to think of a small trade so he won't be idle like he's been since retirement and he is talking about setting up electrical pole business, I laughed. Sebi he wan rek me. Same way he did not manage hid wealth.

Stand your ground or tell him to use the profeeds from the sale of his house to get the 3Bed

Why not involve your siblings on his recent move maybe they can convince him in staying in the village a little more. You are trying sef it's not easy to handle a stubborn dad see how he's dictating the type of accomodation he wants as if he's d one paying for it.

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1TrippleCee:
Stand your ground or tell him to use the profeeds from the sale of his house to get the 3Bed

The money is long gone.

He started asking for money months after selling the house.

Your dad is inconsiderate and thinks about himself alone, he doesn't put you into consideration and that's bad. Don't do more than you can carry.

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AtoningBlood:


My siblings don't care. He can't even tell them of his plans.

Don't go beyond what you can afford, he can still accept visitors in a two bedroom apartment, your dad needs to be considerate you also have a life to live abeg!

From the points you raised, you have a good heart and also have the resources to expand your wealth. Whenever ever you experience constriction, do the opposite - Expand!

I know you mentioned that he wants 3-Bedroom Flat and wants to move in as early as February. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated. ASk him to be patient because you have a better plan for him.

Do some research on your State Capital or your Husband's Capital and and convince your husband to help out too because this is an opportunity to own a little more real real estate. Buy cheap land at the sub-urban that could be useful for you or your kids in the future and build a 3-Bedroom bungalow which he will move him and when he translates, the house is yours.

Ignore the idea of rent if you can afford to build a simple 3-Bedroom and tell him you are building a house for him, the news will restore his pride and yours and shut the lips of the naysayers and also buy him sometime to enjoy the village.

As for his Electric Pole business, it is a good idea, but he can start with Block Making business after the house is complete, there is a chance he can get back on his feet with it.

Since you don't want him near you house, then you should rent a house for him somewhere far from you.

I understand your pains. He is truly not considerate.

After renting the house for him try and read the riot acts to him.

He is just manipulating you emotionally.

Your siblings that abandoned him knows better

Where's your mom

Let him rent the apartment. Let him learn his lessons.
You don't pamper stubborn people.Am sure he still believes he is doing the right thing. Let him learn the hard way
The fact that he sold the house without telling his family shows he has no respect for his family.
If you do as he wishes, then you are obviously the foolish one among his children

OP you're too weak for my liking.
You're even begging him to manage two bedroom flat?

I don't have advice to waste, do as you please.

I don't get the idea of retiring to the village to spend the rest of ones life.
Well, those who were born and brought up in the city can go and get a taste of village life before they die. But for folks like me who has tasted village life from birth, I will live and die in the city.

Father is under remote control

If someone, who has spent 35years in service, sells a building in the city without being able to account for the proceeds is more than the eyes can meet.

Limit your interactions with him as much as possible lest the village people through your father will open conduits into the finances of you & your husband. Everyman should be able to bear the consequences of their own actions. As your father, provide him a reasonable shelter but don't succumb to unnecessary luxury.

If you believe that anointings are transferable, so also is the otherwise.

AtoningBlood:
I need your input people.

3 years ago, my dad sold our house without informing anyone of us. Meanwhile, we all had things left at home, including my mum's items. He never told us where some of those things are till date.

He sold that house and went to the village, he immediately started having issues with the village people. Fight today, fight tomorrow. Everyone in the village I heard now disrespect him due to how he reveal his secrets to anyone who cares to listen.

My dad wants to leave the village to go rent an apartment in another state. His financial responsibility has been on me alone. My siblings abandoned him.

He's being nursing the idea of leaving the village and never informed me. Last november I spent almost 2 million naira fixing solar power and inverter for him in his house at the village and immediately after that he started saying he wants to leave the village..

I told my dad never to relocate to the village yet, that he should wait till his is older as he is still agile and all his friends are in the state where we lived or around. He also gets contracts once in a while so I don't bear much financial burden. But no, he failed to listen and sold our house and left.

My dad wants me to cough out another 1M to rent a house, he wants it big, 3 bedroom. I told him to look for a 2 bedroom but he said where would visitors stay.

I am not even comfortable seeing him in a rented apartment, what would my cousins say, they would mock us. I have some of them who are very naughty. He is bringing shame in us.

We have two properties and my husband wants him to come and stay in one, I vehemently disagreed because he will be controlling us, some of my extended family members will come visiting him and carry the news to the village, as well as discussing my own family and I don't want that. They contributed to what is happening to him now. Through him, some of them will come to stay and I can not start what I can't continue with. So I told my husband to dead that idea fast.

He wants to leave the village latest by February. How do I convince him to get a 2 bedroom flat? 3 bedroom would mean 3 mattresses, and everything triple. My dad doesn't like anything less. All the expenses will be on me alone. My siblings don't care.

I can't turn deaf ears to his needs. I don't want him in the village and I hate to see him in a rented apartment but that is what it is now.

I need contructive advice especially those of us with retired parents, how do you relate with their needs? I told him to think of a small trade so he won't be idle like he's been since retirement and he is talking about setting up electrical pole business, I laughed. Sebi he wan rek me. Same way he did not manage hid wealth.

YOU WON'T LIKE MY ADVICE DEAR....... IT'S BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ARE RICH, THAT WAS WHY YOUR DAD SOLD HIS HOUSE, WENT HOME AND SQUANDERED THE MONEY ......AND NOW WANTS TO COME BACK TO TOWN AGAIN TO STAY AND WAS MANDATING YOU TO RENT A 3 BEDROOM FOR HIM TO STAY......... ONLY HIM......

Daddy is doing emotional blackmail on you.

Your other siblings has seen through his crap that's why they are not buying his shenanigans.

Those your cousins that will laugh you will laugh you more when your dad ruins you.

Stop competing with your cousins

If he must relocate back to the urban area, get him a "self-contain" apartment as he needs go through the phase of 'mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

Allow ur father to meet with the reality of life.

U said he likes everything big,what then do u expect?

Definitely he will deplete ur finance and make u look as if u haven't done anything for him in the past.

Another thing is,why living your life based on people's opinion,what they will say. If u go by that assertion,my dear sister,u would be wasting ur money and continue to do until u talk to urself one day.

This might be reason why ur siblings are dodging from helping ur dad...May be because he is financially burdensome and hardly manages money well.

Finally,allow ur dad to stay in the village for a reason?

Let reality hit him. Abandon him like your other siblings do.

Funny things about father's like this,, is that you aren't even his favorite. He wouldn't waste any time to talk you down before anyone that cares to listen.

He's making demands because you're listening. Just tell him that you don't care if he sleeps under the rain and stand your ground,he will comport

Na one bedroom you suppose pay for am.

Wetin em use the proceeds from the sale of the house do? Em use am play over 2.5?

Your sibling are smart, any parent who sold house without my consent and relocate to the village is a selfish parent and should be made to learn a lesson, infact, we will ignore you for 5 years

Op buy strong wrapper...use it and carry your papa for back...I think that's what you should do. What do you think? Agadi ekwenka

Since your husband has suggested he stays in one of your properties, please allow him to instead of wasting money to go rent an apartment. Renewing yearly rent isn't an easy one. Your dad is misbehaving simply because his kids are rich.

Where's your mom btw? If she's seperated from your dad, she made a right decision. Your papa no be am.

I pity your husband! You and your dad want to send the poor man to his early grave

If you eventually rent house for him or bring him out of village to your house you will be in trouble before this year runs out in as much you can take care of him in that village let him remain there and mingle with his age grade and attend family function he wanted to participate before leaving the city to there that Man will scatter your plan if you not wise.

You are preventing your dad from facing the consequences of his decisions and that's not healthy for either of you.

He is an adult. You should be learning and leaning on him but he's emotionally blackmailing and manipulating you. Unfortunately, you are enabling this attitude.

I don't advise you bring him to stay in any of your house, especially because of the reasons you gave. If he comes closer to you, you will experience serious emotional stress.

If he wants a five bedroom palace he should fund it. Give him only what you can afford.
Tell him you don't have the resources for a three bedroom firmly.

It's obvious you have a compassionate heart to be taking care of him despite all he had done in the past. But you don't have to enable and encourage irresponsible behaviour.

AtoningBlood:
I need your input people.

3 years ago, my dad sold our house without informing anyone of us. Meanwhile, we all had things left at home, including my mum's items. He never told us where some of those things are till date.

He sold that house and went to the village, he immediately started having issues with the village people. Fight today, fight tomorrow. Everyone in the village I heard now disrespect him due to how he reveal his secrets to anyone who cares to listen.

My dad wants to leave the village to go rent an apartment in another state. His financial responsibility has been on me alone. My siblings abandoned him.

He's being nursing the idea of leaving the village and never informed me. Last november I spent almost 2 million naira fixing solar power and inverter for him in his house at the village and immediately after that he started saying he wants to leave the village..

I told my dad never to relocate to the village yet, that he should wait till his is older as he is still agile and all his friends are in the state where we lived or around. He also gets contracts once in a while so I don't bear much financial burden. But no, he failed to listen and sold our house and left.

My dad wants me to cough out another 1M to rent a house, he wants it big, 3 bedroom. I told him to look for a 2 bedroom but he said where would visitors stay.

I am not even comfortable seeing him in a rented apartment, what would my cousins say, they would mock us. I have some of them who are very naughty. He is bringing shame in us.

We have two properties and my husband wants him to come and stay in one, I vehemently disagreed because he will be controlling us, some of my extended family members will come visiting him and carry the news to the village, as well as discussing my own family and I don't want that. They contributed to what is happening to him now. Through him, some of them will come to stay and I can not start what I can't continue with. So I told my husband to dead that idea fast.

He wants to leave the village latest by February. How do I convince him to get a 2 bedroom flat? 3 bedroom would mean 3 mattresses, and everything triple. My dad doesn't like anything less. All the expenses will be on me alone. My siblings don't care.

I can't turn deaf ears to his needs. I don't want him in the village and I hate to see him in a rented apartment but that is what it is now.

I need contructive advice especially those of us with retired parents, how do you relate with their needs? I told him to think of a small trade so he won't be idle like he's been since retirement and he is talking about setting up electrical pole business, I laughed. Sebi he wan rek me. Same way he did not manage hid wealth.

This is your time now, he has lived the active part of his own life!

Insist on what you can afford. If he does not want that, keep your funds biko

Don't do more than you can sustain.

You think you're helping him while he thinks he's exploiting you.

Your dad is an adult. He is old enough to make decisions and old enough to face the consequences of those decisions.

If he's making decisions and you're the one facing the consequence of his decisions, then you should expect him to continue making bad decisions.