₦airaland Forum

MASTERCHIEF0847:

The guy dey nyash her wella na why she dey feed am, imagine she carry the last portion of jollof rice wey her husband suppose chop go give the same guy SMH.

pocohantas:
Ndi male friends and male bestie.


Aruuuuu!!!!!!

edimina:
I would have loved to make an intro of this post based on what people have had to say severally about bringing your wife to abroad, most especially the ones you knew must have been messing up in ways that one cant curb in Nigeria talkless of being abroad. This is a summary of whats going on with me now. So I arranged for us to move with student visa, shes the main applicant and myself and the 3 children are dependent. Its been a year and the half here now, and just 6 months into entering this country, my eye dun see shege from this woman. One thing I can actually hail and praise her for though is her delegence in taking care of the house, cook and all that. But I do my own bit too cos when shes out for work, I cook for the kids, I clean once in a while too and do what I can.

So after graduation, we got a sponsorship work VISA via the care home shes working for, though while she was a student, she was working in a daycare which was filled with white people, she always complained about how she could not cope with the white people’s culture and how she cant contribute their gist, so she was really happy that she had moved to this new place where she had met some Nigerians.

Now this is where the wahala is, she has 3 prominent friends there, 2 males and a female. So I noticed she picks up these dudes at home to work, pick the girl and do the same, then to make it worse, she will go ahead and still go drop them at home, when me dun dey house after work after taking care of the kids make I comot with car, she go come late and all that. Overtime this ish continued, so I told her one day, bae I don’t think it’s a good idea going to pick and drop this people all the time, because for the lady, her husband normally come around to pick her up and drop her off, but since them don see mugu, the guy totally stopped, so it became my madams task to run everytime they are on shift together. When I had this discussion with her, she complained that they are just friends that she may get the same help from later on, I was like am not saying you should not help, but don’t take it upon urself to be doing this all the time. All said and done she never listended to me and the deed continued to an extent that the husband of the lady had only given her money once, and maybe once from one of those guys and na me and am dey combine money to buy fuel. So it got a level where she begin dey carry food from house go give those guys, not all the time but sometimes. So yesterday jollof wey she cook, I was going to microwave in the morning to eat, I found out it was gone, I called to ask where the food was, she boldy told me that she had taken to her two male friends who told her they were hungry, I was now like why would u priortorize outsiders over your family, she sha change am sey sebi they too bring food that she eats blab la bla. And to even say that one of these dude is the one I created this thread about: the level of disrespect is unimaginable. Funny this is, after creating that above thread, a week after serious confrontation she had a feud with the guy and they stopped talking to each other, in which the guy stopped working at the place, but few days ago I got in from work and I saw that she was on call (speaker on) with this same guy, talking freely and giving me a no Give a F attitude, because I thought the only way she could have at least show me that she was remorseful was to cut permanent ties with that guy, but hell no. After her convo with the guy, she came to meet me that she hope that am not angry about her calling and talking to the guy, I was like its none of my biz, that I had important things to think about, in which it was indirect statement that I thought she would understand, omo from that day like this them dun start their friendship again,, to an extent I felt disrespected, disregarded and I started feeling theres more to what I have been thinking before. That aside, the other guy too, I noticed that one talks to her anyhow, though in a playful way. One day she came back from work and started complaining that the people that shes helping that they aren’t appreciating her, the started with the lady, that her husband does not even care again, only sent her money for fuel once, but the one that is hurting her most if the fact that this other dude that talks to her anyhow tried to implicate her at work, saying that he started yelling at her at the dinning where the old people are, that why haven’t u fed this woman, don’t u have grandma in the house, that he went as far as reporting her to one of the oldies that didn’t gave dementia that could have easily reported her to her manager which can out her work in jeopardy. I was like so have u served his sanction of not dropping and picking him again? She was like no oo, this happened last week, that shes still dropping him, I was like wow! She was like the reason is because the guy had come to prostrate to beg her, I was like how old is this dude, she said 26, and shes 36, omo I was in awe. Before any starts saying am not man enough, am a simp or weak, omo this country na were oo, he dey change SOME women. On a final note I have given her a mandate that she should stop picking or dropping anybody off at their respective homes, infact she should tell them that its my husband that said so. Story continues on the other new thread

pocohantas:
Ndi male friends and male bestie.

That was how one dull male Nlder said he has married female besties and their kids scream his name at home.


Aruuuuu!!!!!!


I no blame these men. I blame the women that brought about the see-finish. Tueeh!

Tell her to cook for her in-laws and she will cry.
But she dey cook for small boy everyday. Tueh!

edimina:
I would have loved to make an intro of this post based on what people have had to say severally about bringing your wife to abroad, most especially the ones you knew must have been messing up in ways that one cant curb in Nigeria talkless of being abroad. This is a summary of whats going on with me now. So I arranged for us to move with student visa, shes the main applicant and myself and the 3 children are dependent. Its been a year and the half here now, and just 6 months into entering this country, my eye dun see shege from this woman. One thing I can actually hail and praise her for though is her delegence in taking care of the house, cook and all that. But I do my own bit too cos when shes out for work, I cook for the kids, I clean once in a while too and do what I can.

So after graduation, we got a sponsorship work VISA via the care home shes working for, though while she was a student, she was working in a daycare which was filled with white people, she always complained about how she could not cope with the white people’s culture and how she cant contribute their gist, so she was really happy that she had moved to this new place where she had met some Nigerians.

Now this is where the wahala is, she has 3 prominent friends there, 2 males and a female. So I noticed she picks up these dudes at home to work, pick the girl and do the same, then to make it worse, she will go ahead and still go drop them at home, when me dun dey house after work after taking care of the kids make I comot with car, she go come late and all that. Overtime this ish continued, so I told her one day, bae I don’t think it’s a good idea going to pick and drop this people all the time, because for the lady, her husband normally come around to pick her up and drop her off, but since them don see mugu, the guy totally stopped, so it became my madams task to run everytime they are on shift together. When I had this discussion with her, she complained that they are just friends that she may get the same help from later on, I was like am not saying you should not help, but don’t take it upon urself to be doing this all the time. All said and done she never listended to me and the deed continued to an extent that the husband of the lady had only given her money once, and maybe once from one of those guys and na me and am dey combine money to buy fuel. So it got a level where she begin dey carry food from house go give those guys, not all the time but sometimes. So yesterday jollof wey she cook, I was going to microwave in the morning to eat, I found out it was gone, I called to ask where the food was, she boldy told me that she had taken to her two male friends who told her they were hungry, I was now like why would u priortorize outsiders over your family, she sha change am sey sebi they too bring food that she eats blab la bla. And to even say that one of these dude is the one I created this thread about: the level of disrespect is unimaginable. Funny this is, after creating that above thread, a week after serious confrontation she had a feud with the guy and they stopped talking to each other, in which the guy stopped working at the place, but few days ago I got in from work and I saw that she was on call (speaker on) with this same guy, talking freely and giving me a no Give a F attitude, because I thought the only way she could have at least show me that she was remorseful was to cut permanent ties with that guy, but hell no. After her convo with the guy, she came to meet me that she hope that am not angry about her calling and talking to the guy, I was like its none of my biz, that I had important things to think about, in which it was indirect statement that I thought she would understand, omo from that day like this them dun start their friendship again,, to an extent I felt disrespected, disregarded and I started feeling theres more to what I have been thinking before. That aside, the other guy too, I noticed that one talks to her anyhow, though in a playful way. One day she came back from work and started complaining that the people that shes helping that they aren’t appreciating her, the started with the lady, that her husband does not even care again, only sent her money for fuel once, but the one that is hurting her most if the fact that this other dude that talks to her anyhow tried to implicate her at work, saying that he started yelling at her at the dinning where the old people are, that why haven’t u fed this woman, don’t u have grandma in the house, that he went as far as reporting her to one of the oldies that didn’t gave dementia that could have easily reported her to her manager which can out her work in jeopardy. I was like so have u served his sanction of not dropping and picking him again? She was like no oo, this happened last week, that shes still dropping him, I was like wow! She was like the reason is because the guy had come to prostrate to beg her, I was like how old is this dude, she said 26, and shes 36, omo I was in awe. Before any starts saying am not man enough, am a simp or weak, omo this country na were oo, he dey change SOME women. On a final note I have given her a mandate that she should stop picking or dropping anybody off at their respective homes, infact she should tell them that its my husband that said so. Story continues on the other new thread

Rizzputin:
Normally, I don't bother advising men like you. Because you're too weak & much of a simpson to see your HUGE mistakes

Worst of all, you'll rationalise your weakness and her bad behaviour to make it feel good in your head.

But I like taking risks. So I'll go out of my way to give you my thoughts and tips. Even though my mind is telling me you won't listen.

Anyways... let's get started:

● Your wife is cheating on you. My best guess is she's doing it with this guy you call "dude"

The problem with you Simps is how you search desperately for "concrete evidence" It's laughable. Especially when the signs are there. Her blatant disrespect & disloyalty has caused you "take a risk" that firmly puts her in control of your marriage.


● Start saving money from your job to get a new apartment.

The last thing you want is to wake up one day to find out your homeless. The only reasons you're not homeless already is because of one, your kids. And two, the dude fùcking her has no interest in taking her serious. He's using your precious wife as free fun.

But she might find someone else who will take her more seriously and they'll start plotting ways to kick you out.

On that note, save up some money. And take extra jobs so you can get a new apartment and move out.


● Get a female friend or two you can be seeing as well. Even better if she buys food for you or makes one.

Few things correct a girl's behaviour like jealousy. Let her know you have options and watch her behaviour slowly adjust.

Don't make her think you're fùcking them or suggest that. But highlight qualities in your new friends that you like and she's lacking. Qualities that'll make her a better wife and mother in the marriage.

If these women get you gifts or food, even better.


● Lastly, I'd consider the option of divorce or separation in my mind.

Cause without a doubt, she's cheating. But the third point I wrote above should her to act right.


To end it all, stop being such a weak simp

1Sharon:
Which yeye money? Both of them are carers they don't earn shit.

That is why I don't believe she's cheating, what does that young boy have that her husband doesn't? Her husband may be a house husband now, but he won't be forever.

delzbaba:
If a woman continues helping people without being appreciated she will soon stop the help, let her do that in her own time, with the other issues on ground, I feel that is her own way of adapting to a new society, she wants to connect with people apart from her family, I will advice you look for a church where Africans are many so that she can expand her friendship net and forget about those guys , in all be patient and supportive

incogni2o:
Paul in the Bible? I don't understand you.

Double0h7:
She doesn’t sound like the smartest tool in the toolbox so she probably getting off on his good looks and swag! Also, I think she’s enjoying her new freedom and independence from op; she’s enjoying the attention she’s getting. People love the new and unfamiliar things.

Op can’t or doesn’t give her the flexing and sexiness she desires instead he’s hoovering over her and dictating what she could do and shouldn’t do. Did you notice the only compliment he gave her is “she knows how to keep a house clean.”

She was never in to op to begin with from the sounds of things, he’s probably the money maker in Nigeria and now he’s a minimum wage African man who is cramping her style. Life is a bitch man!

Double0h7:
She doesn’t sound like the smartest tool in the toolbox so she probably getting off on his good looks and swag! Also, I think she’s enjoying her new freedom and independence from op; she’s enjoying the attention she’s getting. People love the new and unfamiliar things.

Op can’t or doesn’t give her the flexing and sexiness she desires instead he’s hoovering over her and dictating what she could do and shouldn’t do. Did you notice the only compliment he gave her is “she knows how to keep a house clean.”

She was never in to op to begin with from the sounds of things, he’s probably the money maker in Nigeria and now he’s a minimum wage African man who is cramping her style. Life is a bitch man!

edimina:
I would have loved to make an intro of this post based on what people have had to say severally about bringing your wife to abroad, most especially the ones you knew must have been messing up in ways that one cant curb in Nigeria talkless of being abroad. This is a summary of whats going on with me now. So I arranged for us to move with student visa, shes the main applicant and myself and the 3 children are dependent. Its been a year and the half here now, and just 6 months into entering this country, my eye dun see shege from this woman. One thing I can actually hail and praise her for though is her delegence in taking care of the house, cook and all that. But I do my own bit too cos when shes out for work, I cook for the kids, I clean once in a while too and do what I can.

So after graduation, we got a sponsorship work VISA via the care home shes working for, though while she was a student, she was working in a daycare which was filled with white people, she always complained about how she could not cope with the white people’s culture and how she cant contribute their gist, so she was really happy that she had moved to this new place where she had met some Nigerians.

Now this is where the wahala is, she has 3 prominent friends there, 2 males and a female. So I noticed she picks up these dudes at home to work, pick the girl and do the same, then to make it worse, she will go ahead and still go drop them at home, when me dun dey house after work after taking care of the kids make I comot with car, she go come late and all that. Overtime this ish continued, so I told her one day, bae I don’t think it’s a good idea going to pick and drop this people all the time, because for the lady, her husband normally come around to pick her up and drop her off, but since them don see mugu, the guy totally stopped, so it became my madams task to run everytime they are on shift together. When I had this discussion with her, she complained that they are just friends that she may get the same help from later on, I was like am not saying you should not help, but don’t take it upon urself to be doing this all the time. All said and done she never listended to me and the deed continued to an extent that the husband of the lady had only given her money once, and maybe once from one of those guys and na me and am dey combine money to buy fuel. So it got a level where she begin dey carry food from house go give those guys, not all the time but sometimes. So yesterday jollof wey she cook, I was going to microwave in the morning to eat, I found out it was gone, I called to ask where the food was, she boldy told me that she had taken to her two male friends who told her they were hungry, I was now like why would u priortorize outsiders over your family, she sha change am sey sebi they too bring food that she eats blab la bla. And to even say that one of these dude is the one I created this thread about: the level of disrespect is unimaginable. Funny this is, after creating that above thread, a week after serious confrontation she had a feud with the guy and they stopped talking to each other, in which the guy stopped working at the place, but few days ago I got in from work and I saw that she was on call (speaker on) with this same guy, talking freely and giving me a no Give a F attitude, because I thought the only way she could have at least show me that she was remorseful was to cut permanent ties with that guy, but hell no. After her convo with the guy, she came to meet me that she hope that am not angry about her calling and talking to the guy, I was like its none of my biz, that I had important things to think about, in which it was indirect statement that I thought she would understand, omo from that day like this them dun start their friendship again,, to an extent I felt disrespected, disregarded and I started feeling theres more to what I have been thinking before. That aside, the other guy too, I noticed that one talks to her anyhow, though in a playful way. One day she came back from work and started complaining that the people that shes helping that they aren’t appreciating her, the started with the lady, that her husband does not even care again, only sent her money for fuel once, but the one that is hurting her most if the fact that this other dude that talks to her anyhow tried to implicate her at work, saying that he started yelling at her at the dinning where the old people are, that why haven’t u fed this woman, don’t u have grandma in the house, that he went as far as reporting her to one of the oldies that didn’t gave dementia that could have easily reported her to her manager which can out her work in jeopardy. I was like so have u served his sanction of not dropping and picking him again? She was like no oo, this happened last week, that shes still dropping him, I was like wow! She was like the reason is because the guy had come to prostrate to beg her, I was like how old is this dude, she said 26, and shes 36, omo I was in awe. Before any starts saying am not man enough, am a simp or weak, omo this country na were oo, he dey change SOME women. On a final note I have given her a mandate that she should stop picking or dropping anybody off at their respective homes, infact she should tell them that its my husband that said so. Story continues on the other new thread

luminouz:
Weak ass simp.

You lost your balls the day you became a dependent to your wife. She is the one earning and making moves while you do what exactly? Of course, women being women would take advantage and usurp the power dynamics in the house.

She will NEVER change and it only goes downhill from there. Damn!!! The shiit some men tolerate sha.

1Sharon:
Yes I agree that she's insensitive and isn't listening to her husband. How do you know she's even attractive? She's 36 with 3 kids, he's 26. What is new and unfamiliar about another Nigerian man?
People here are just reaching, she isn't giving him any special treatment, she brought food and gave lifts to both he and her female colleagues.

franchasofficia:
Dependent he meant is that his wife was the principal applicant (student) who was issued the student visa while he and their kids accompanied her as dependents, not that he is not working. He will even be working more hours; full time unrestricted hours while his wife is restricted to 40hours per week as a student on student work permit.


So literally the guy earned more than his wife before she graduated and ought to have more savings but I doubt if he has cos he must have used all his savings to pay off her remaining school fees before she graduated.


His best bet now is to play along like a mugu, stop complaining about anything his wife does until he gets his full papers, which will take like 5 years. Thereafter he can plan his exit from the marriage if she refused to change for good.

franchasofficia:
How can a responsible married woman; a Nigerian woman take the last food in the house to her male colleague at work leaving none for her husband at home and you see nothing wrong in it?


If you have a married female friend doing that to her husband, madam please advice her to stop it it's very wrong, she is disrespecting her husband by doing so.


There should be boundaries and limits to these things na haba haba.

I am married myself, to a lady that have one of the tightest work schedule, but she never fails to prepare my meals even when we have helps that can do that. She takes it as her personal responsibility to prepare and keep my meal specially even though I sometimes don't take it cos I am not a foodie man. I can spend the whole day not eating anything serious which my wife knows but still she doesn't fail in making my meals despite her tight schedule. And whenever she won't be around, she must be on call with the helps telling them how to prepare my meal and all that.


When I read some stories of some married guys here, they sound so strange to me honestly.


Even my close friends that live in different parts of the world, from US to Europe to even Asian countries don't experience the kind things I hear married guys say here.


Maybe I and my friends and even brothers are lucky, or some of these guys just foolishly married careless wild ladies who were born to die single

franchasofficia:
How can a responsible married woman; a Nigerian woman take the last food in the house to her male colleague at work leaving none for her husband at home and you see nothing wrong in it?


If you have a married female friend doing that to her husband, madam please advice her to stop it it's very wrong, she is disrespecting her husband by doing so.


There should be boundaries and limits to these things na haba haba.

I am married myself, to a lady that have one of the tightest work schedule, but she never fails to prepare my meals even when we have helps that can do that. She takes it as her personal responsibility to prepare and keep my meal specially even though I sometimes don't take it cos I am not a foodie man. I can spend the whole day not eating anything serious which my wife knows but still she doesn't fail in making my meals despite her tight schedule. And whenever she won't be around, she must be on call with the helps telling them how to prepare my meal and all that.


When I read some stories of some married guys here, they sound so strange to me honestly.


Even my close friends that live in different parts of the world, from US to Europe to even Asian countries don't experience the kind things I hear married guys say here.


Maybe I and my friends and even brothers are lucky, or some of these guys just foolishly married careless wild ladies who were born to die single

luminouz:
Don't quote that Sharon moniker....she reasons like a toddler!!! She is in the UK too and I know that she will support nonsense. It's glaring to the blind and the deaf that the wife is very much MÃD!!!

1Sharon:
Didn't you read that I said she was insensitive? So where are all these questions coming from?
Abegi save the long story and read properly.

luminouz:
You are very right. I meant to say she was learning....but he used his money to pay for her school fees. That way she was progressing while he was bleeehhhhh!!!

franchasofficia:
What made me to quote you with my comment was how you downplayed the disrespectful woman's treatment of a stranger she only met at work to the detriment of her own husband which you said is not a special treatment.

Biko it is.


E be like say I go need to go find job oh, especially where fine fine ladies with big ukwu will full my department so I can be getting this kind free pampering from nice chicks


Dusting my CV

1Sharon:
Did you read the comment properly? Pls go back and do that.

franchasofficia:
Maybe I will need to reread it slowly because my head de spark sometimes lol, sorry if I misquoted you.


It's all good.


I think the op married the wrong woman from the start.


These things always start from who we pick as spouse. Seems many guys don't know how to spot and pick a wonderful wife to be, maybe I will need to start a paid session on this, new business idea discovered, wow

franchasofficia:
Sometimes they don't do it intentionally, sometimes its the only option for the man to get his family to the other side for better tomorrow, its well with guys in tight life situation in marriage

1Sharon:
Thanks for apologising.

I agree. He has complained about his wife's attitude before but still went ahead to marry her.

There is a part one to this topic, it's more insightful

franchasofficia:
lolz


Honestly as a married man, the kind of stories I read here and on some Twitter threads on what some married guys are going through in the hands of their wives and even what some married ladies share about how their husbands treat them always make me wonder how and where these people met their spouses and what even made them to consider marrying the men and women they married in the first place lol


A bad woman is a bad woman whether she lives at Buckingham Palace or Whitehouse or In Oyo Town or Nnewi or wherever; abroad does not change any woman like most Nigerians presume cos I have majority of my childhood friends, course mates and even family members living in different countries of the world; from US to UK, to European countries to Qatar, Dubai, Angola, South Korea, South Africa, China, Japan, Canada, Australia, etc and none are divorced or complaining bitterly the way I read from married people here.


It always make me to wonder oh honestly lolz