₦airaland Forum

I support separate rooms,I and my wife have separate rooms.the only problem in your article is that the lady isnt asking for separate rooms.she is asking for a room for herself and a joint bedroom with her husband.which is a very big red flag,that is the character of a naccisst cheater.she wants a room for herself so she can hide while at the same time sharing the husband's room so she can control and monitor.

loveoris:
Is it such a bad idea though? I mean, to actually want separate bedrooms from your husband? Maybe his room bigger, the Master bedroom to accommodate both parties but another smaller separate room for wifey....just saying.

An intending couple got into a heated argument just a few weeks before their wedding when during a conversation the wife stated that she wanted her own bedroom. The man didn't take it to heart at first assuming she was joking, but soon enough realized the pretty lady wasn't joking at all. She meant every word of it. This ensued in a huge argument that dragged on for days. Members of the family and friends even got involved at some point. I remember my dad calling to ask me how I felt about the whole situation, my answer was pretty much simple- Give the young lady what she wants.

Hear me out!!!

Firstly, the space is not an issue, its not like they need to go buy or rent another house to accommodate this arrangement. They own a house of their own that has enough rooms that nobody uses.
Secondly, her reasons are very valid, which probably would be my reasons too. We don't always want to talk, be cuddled or argue, sometimes we just need our space to think clearly and enjoy the solitude. She went ahead to say she doesn't like herself during her menstrual phase so she stays away from everyone, doesn't go to work, she is just indoor writhing in pain and consoling herself. She would like to continue with that without having to bother or lash out at her husband simply because she is in pain. She made him understand that he is only fighting it because he has been conditioned traditionally that they must have the same room. However, if he is been truthful to himself he would realize that alone times can't be bought with money, doesn't mean they don't love each other anymore, it just means there is a need for recharge.

Her other reason was she wouldn't want her siblings or very close friends to ever have a reason to step into their matrimonial bedroom, which is the husband's room.
Her last reason, very valid too, is that she is quite a clumsy person, she looks for one outfit for the day and the whole place is upside down, her husband however is very neat freak and loves everything exactly how they should be. She said she wants to have her freedom and be able to have her things in a separate room, that way her mess is out of his face.

I personally think its a great idea for a woman to have a separate room that is hers, she can decorate it to her taste, have her me times, like her own closet. Even though most of the night I will be in my husband's room cuddled up, cos what is sleep without my man. But I'd love to know the option is there for me when I need to be alone for whatever reason. Moreso, the room is not going to be out of bound to my husband, he can always come in whenever he wants, the bed will be big enough for two, just incase the HS ministers to us right there....lol

immortalcrown:
Nonsense!

Just admit that you don't understand the meaning of marriage and the level of commitment that is required for marriage. Anybody, whether male or female, who does not want to share a room with his or her spouse is not commited and sincere in the marriage. Quote me anywhere.

All the reasons presented in this article are childish. Only two of those reasons appear a bit reasonable but are not enough for someone not to share one room with his or her spouse. Let me address those two reasons.

1.
Menstrual pain:
When she battles with the menstrual pain in her separate room, is the husband expected to check on her? If yes, why should she have a separate room? Is it not easier for the husband to check on her when they share the same room? Or should he not check on her? If yes, who will be blamed if she becomes unconscious and something goes wrong? If pregnancy disturbs her and she vomits and becomes too weak to feed herself or put her room in order, will the husband be expected to take care of her in the situation? If yes, it is wrong for her to use menstrual pain as an excuse to have a separate room. If unfortunately she becomes bedridden to urinate and defecate in bed, will the husband be expected to take care of her? If yes, why should she use menstrual pain as an excuse to have a separate room?

2.
Giving her siblings and her friends access to her own room:
What will a married woman keep or do in her matrimonial home that her husband is on worthy to know but her siblings and her friends are worthy to know? Answer this very question if you are not supporting infidelity in marriage. Remember that infidelity is not only about sex.

Every other reason presented in the article is very silly. You know that you you keep rooms untidy but you are not willing to adjust and learn how to tidy up your room. You now want to use that bad attitude as an excuse to have a separate room. Any adult that identifies his or her weakness and is not willing to work on it is very insincere.

You are obviously not married.

Come back to this post after 3 years of marriage, and you would laugh at yourself.

TheBillyonaire:
As a husband, you should insist on separate bedroom. Even though I made my wife's room way more comfortable than mine with all gadgets that money can buy, she still insists on sleeping in my bedroom, and the thing dey pain me. I wanna meditate all night and soul travel without something disrupting my psychic adventures in different realms with cuddling.

are you a wizard that travel to other realm at night?

loveoris:
Is it such a bad idea though? I mean, to actually want separate bedrooms from your husband? Maybe his room bigger, the Master bedroom to accommodate both parties but another smaller separate room for wifey....just saying.

An intending couple got into a heated argument just a few weeks before their wedding when during a conversation the wife stated that she wanted her own bedroom. The man didn't take it to heart at first assuming she was joking, but soon enough realized the pretty lady wasn't joking at all. She meant every word of it. This ensued in a huge argument that dragged on for days. Members of the family and friends even got involved at some point. I remember my dad calling to ask me how I felt about the whole situation, my answer was pretty much simple- Give the young lady what she wants.

Hear me out!!!

Firstly, the space is not an issue, its not like they need to go buy or rent another house to accommodate this arrangement. They own a house of their own that has enough rooms that nobody uses.
Secondly, her reasons are very valid, which probably would be my reasons too. We don't always want to talk, be cuddled or argue, sometimes we just need our space to think clearly and enjoy the solitude. She went ahead to say she doesn't like herself during her menstrual phase so she stays away from everyone, doesn't go to work, she is just indoor writhing in pain and consoling herself. She would like to continue with that without having to bother or lash out at her husband simply because she is in pain. She made him understand that he is only fighting it because he has been conditioned traditionally that they must have the same room. However, if he is been truthful to himself he would realize that alone times can't be bought with money, doesn't mean they don't love each other anymore, it just means there is a need for recharge.

Her other reason was she wouldn't want her siblings or very close friends to ever have a reason to step into their matrimonial bedroom, which is the husband's room.
Her last reason, very valid too, is that she is quite a clumsy person, she looks for one outfit for the day and the whole place is upside down, her husband however is very neat freak and loves everything exactly how they should be. She said she wants to have her freedom and be able to have her things in a separate room, that way her mess is out of his face.

I personally think its a great idea for a woman to have a separate room that is hers, she can decorate it to her taste, have her me times, like her own closet. Even though most of the night I will be in my husband's room cuddled up, cos what is sleep without my man. But I'd love to know the option is there for me when I need to be alone for whatever reason. Moreso, the room is not going to be out of bound to my husband, he can always come in whenever he wants, the bed will be big enough for two, just incase the HS ministers to us right there....lol

Sincerely, we are almost the same. How I wish you can give me her number and let me marry her. Incase her husband doesn't like her, pls hint me.

😁 This is one of those funny arguments that people often bring up as talking points and you'll see people trying to portray their view as the only solution.

The truth is that people are different and this is one of those issues that couples should discus before marriage. There is no right or wrong answer. There are couples that were happily married for over 50 years and they slept in the same room and there are couples that were happily married for over 50 years and they slept in separate bedrooms.

If you want a single bedroom, marry someone that wants the same thing and if you want separate bedrooms, marry someone that wants the same thing.

omoredia:
Oga give her wants she wants and get another to warm your bed on her days off. Don't be misled by Adeboye's many lies

For you to mention pastor Adeboye, you don't have elderds in your family

Hmmmmmn.... There is always 2 side to a coin...... Life no balance at all

Nothing wrong with the demand at all. Ladies typically always have more clothes than men. They can spend 100% of their money on shopping while they watch the man spend 100% of his income on bills.

Why should I share my wardrobe of less than 20 shirts and 10 trousers with a woman that has probably 1000 clothes? It's best to just give her a room and her space.

I've been telling wifey to get another room in the house for herself for over a year now, but she refused. Why do I have to fight through 1000 of her clothes to find one of mine to wear?

CaptainGo:
You are obviously not married. Come back to this post after 3 years of marriage, and you would laugh at yourself.

Who you are before marriage determines who you will be in marriage. Stop fooling yourself. My concept or understanding of marriage will not allow me desire to have a separate room when I get married.

spiceadole:
Same with me

My parents still have separate bedrooms.
Many of my uncles and aunts operate same with their spouses.
It's this age of social media that makes it look abnormal.

Exactly. I see nothing wrong with it and people should stop making it sound like it is wrong. Do whatever works for you

Keyword is" infidelity"...

There's absolutely no justification whatsoever for her argument.

It's a different case if it happens naturally not premeditated like this.

If na me sha....wedding cancelled.

I no wan know.

My people say: you can't be in the bush, see a stick and watch it pierce and poke your eye out.

immortalcrown:
Nonsense!

Just admit that you don't understand the meaning of marriage and the level of commitment that is required for marriage. Anybody, whether male or female, who does not want to share a room with his or her spouse is not commited and sincere in the marriage. Quote me anywhere.

All the reasons presented in this article are childish. Only two of those reasons appear a bit reasonable but are not enough for someone not to share one room with his or her spouse. Let me address those two reasons.

1.
Menstrual pain:
When she battles with the menstrual pain in her separate room, is the husband expected to check on her? If yes, why should she have a separate room? Is it not easier for the husband to check on her when they share the same room? Or should he not check on her? If yes, who will be blamed if she becomes unconscious and something goes wrong? If pregnancy disturbs her and she vomits and becomes too weak to feed herself or put her room in order, will the husband be expected to take care of her in the situation? If yes, it is wrong for her to use menstrual pain as an excuse to have a separate room. If unfortunately she becomes bedridden to urinate and defecate in bed, will the husband be expected to take care of her? If yes, why should she use menstrual pain as an excuse to have a separate room?

2.
Giving her siblings and her friends access to her own room:
What will a married woman keep or do in her matrimonial home that her husband is on worthy to know but her siblings and her friends are worthy to know? Answer this very question if you are not supporting infidelity in marriage. Remember that infidelity is not only about sex.

Every other reason presented in the article is very silly. You know that you you keep rooms untidy but you are not willing to adjust and learn how to tidy up your room. You now want to use that bad attitude as an excuse to have a separate room. Any adult that identifies his or her weakness and is not willing to work on it is very insincere.

descarado:
Anybody who will cheat will cheat.
What people don't know is that too much closeness breeds suffocation and nobody wants that. Let your husband or wife breath. As for sex, it will always happen in any part of the house at any time, not necessarily at night. Heaven help you if your partner is the farting or snoring type

Yezzur

For me as a man, I’ll be happy if my wife tells me this. I’m already adding that to my plans since we started the new house project. It’s not her but me who has this issue. Most of the time I’m sad and hot tempered and need my space.

Common sense should tell you that it will be almost impossible to share same room, same bed with someone without having body contact or talks. But when you are in separate rooms, one can simply walk into his/her room, bolt the door and that's the end..... Certain issues are best resolved faster by intimacy than words.

1Sharon:
Hmm..how true is this?

I like it that way.. I hate that gender disturbance.. Most of them don’t know when it’s time to play and time to get serious.. I fit dey think about business idea,make she dey watch Sabinus.. Can you imagine that?

descarado:
All people that matters have separate bedrooms including our parents. The advantages outweighs the disadvantages unless you live in 1 or 2 bedroom apartments, you have no reason packing yourselves in one room

Sometimes you just need to be by yourself and that's the essence of having your own bedroom.

vincenteger:
For me I don't have any issue with separate bedrooms
The disadvantage is that when there is a misunderstanding, the matter might linger for long as they won't resolve it easier and more....

All these excuses are not a valid one
I don't know why married couples should be looking for space
Why get married in the first place? It definitely means she was never ready for marriage

she should remain single, baby mama or cohabit. No marriage

A situation where the husband and wife share different rooms weakens the bond btw couples. It can result in cheating, reduction in love making, drifting apart etc.

I've been married for over 12yrs and I stay in same bedroom with my wife from day one.

Understanding is your ability to know when your spouse wanna be silent and both maintain your lane in the same bedroom.

loveoris:
Is it such a bad idea though? I mean, to actually want separate bedrooms from your husband? Maybe his room bigger, the Master bedroom to accommodate both parties but another smaller separate room for wifey....just saying.

An intending couple got into a heated argument just a few weeks before their wedding when during a conversation the wife stated that she wanted her own bedroom. The man didn't take it to heart at first assuming she was joking, but soon enough realized the pretty lady wasn't joking at all. She meant every word of it. This ensued in a huge argument that dragged on for days. Members of the family and friends even got involved at some point. I remember my dad calling to ask me how I felt about the whole situation, my answer was pretty much simple- Give the young lady what she wants.

Hear me out!!!

Firstly, the space is not an issue, its not like they need to go buy or rent another house to accommodate this arrangement. They own a house of their own that has enough rooms that nobody uses.
Secondly, her reasons are very valid, which probably would be my reasons too. We don't always want to talk, be cuddled or argue, sometimes we just need our space to think clearly and enjoy the solitude. She went ahead to say she doesn't like herself during her menstrual phase so she stays away from everyone, doesn't go to work, she is just indoor writhing in pain and consoling herself. She would like to continue with that without having to bother or lash out at her husband simply because she is in pain. She made him understand that he is only fighting it because he has been conditioned traditionally that they must have the same room. However, if he is been truthful to himself he would realize that alone times can't be bought with money, doesn't mean they don't love each other anymore, it just means there is a need for recharge.

Her other reason was she wouldn't want her siblings or very close friends to ever have a reason to step into their matrimonial bedroom, which is the husband's room.
Her last reason, very valid too, is that she is quite a clumsy person, she looks for one outfit for the day and the whole place is upside down, her husband however is very neat freak and loves everything exactly how they should be. She said she wants to have her freedom and be able to have her things in a separate room, that way her mess is out of his face.

I personally think its a great idea for a woman to have a separate room that is hers, she can decorate it to her taste, have her me times, like her own closet. Even though most of the night I will be in my husband's room cuddled up, cos what is sleep without my man. But I'd love to know the option is there for me when I need to be alone for whatever reason. Moreso, the room is not going to be out of bound to my husband, he can always come in whenever he wants, the bed will be big enough for two, just incase the HS ministers to us right there....lol

TheBillyonaire:
As a husband, you should insist on separate bedroom. Even though I made my wife's room way more comfortable than mine with all gadgets that money can buy, she still insists on sleeping in my bedroom, and the thing dey pain me. I wanna meditate all night and soul travel without something disrupting my psychic adventures in different realms with cuddling.

good bad men thing, what billionaire and rich men do, average and poor men no fit try am, it might not end well

I grew up with my parents having separate rooms. When I look at my dad's room and look at my mum's. I understand women have more personal effects and 🧳 than men. Only their load go chop 95% of the room.

omoredia:
Oga give her wants she wants and get another to warm your bed on her days off. Don't be misled by Adeboye's many lies

Is bigger than your mouth to say pastor Adeboye lies, just say he is old school,without no disrespect. If madam should taste dodgy from gladiator, she go shout 20hallelujah & life of missionary will always be boring to her. The heavenly spirit will always flash back to the scene

loveoris:
Is it such a bad idea though? I mean, to actually want separate bedrooms from your husband? Maybe his room bigger, the Master bedroom to accommodate both parties but another smaller separate room for wifey....just saying.

An intending couple got into a heated argument just a few weeks before their wedding when during a conversation the wife stated that she wanted her own bedroom. The man didn't take it to heart at first assuming she was joking, but soon enough realized the pretty lady wasn't joking at all. She meant every word of it. This ensued in a huge argument that dragged on for days. Members of the family and friends even got involved at some point. I remember my dad calling to ask me how I felt about the whole situation, my answer was pretty much simple- Give the young lady what she wants.

Hear me out!!!

Firstly, the space is not an issue, its not like they need to go buy or rent another house to accommodate this arrangement. They own a house of their own that has enough rooms that nobody uses.
Secondly, her reasons are very valid, which probably would be my reasons too. We don't always want to talk, be cuddled or argue, sometimes we just need our space to think clearly and enjoy the solitude. She went ahead to say she doesn't like herself during her menstrual phase so she stays away from everyone, doesn't go to work, she is just indoor writhing in pain and consoling herself. She would like to continue with that without having to bother or lash out at her husband simply because she is in pain. She made him understand that he is only fighting it because he has been conditioned traditionally that they must have the same room. However, if he is been truthful to himself he would realize that alone times can't be bought with money, doesn't mean they don't love each other anymore, it just means there is a need for recharge.

Her other reason was she wouldn't want her siblings or very close friends to ever have a reason to step into their matrimonial bedroom, which is the husband's room.
Her last reason, very valid too, is that she is quite a clumsy person, she looks for one outfit for the day and the whole place is upside down, her husband however is very neat freak and loves everything exactly how they should be. She said she wants to have her freedom and be able to have her things in a separate room, that way her mess is out of his face.

I personally think its a great idea for a woman to have a separate room that is hers, she can decorate it to her taste, have her me times, like her own closet. Even though most of the night I will be in my husband's room cuddled up, cos what is sleep without my man. But I'd love to know the option is there for me when I need to be alone for whatever reason. Moreso, the room is not going to be out of bound to my husband, he can always come in whenever he wants, the bed will be big enough for two, just incase the HS ministers to us right there....lol

Spot on my dear. Separate bedrooms is the way to go.

Am an Electrician looking for job to feed my family my number 08038538378

loveoris:
Is it such a bad idea though? I mean, to actually want separate bedrooms from your husband? Maybe his room bigger, the Master bedroom to accommodate both parties but another smaller separate room for wifey....just saying.

An intending couple got into a heated argument just a few weeks before their wedding when during a conversation the wife stated that she wanted her own bedroom. The man didn't take it to heart at first assuming she was joking, but soon enough realized the pretty lady wasn't joking at all. She meant every word of it. This ensued in a huge argument that dragged on for days. Members of the family and friends even got involved at some point. I remember my dad calling to ask me how I felt about the whole situation, my answer was pretty much simple- Give the young lady what she wants.

Hear me out!!!

Firstly, the space is not an issue, its not like they need to go buy or rent another house to accommodate this arrangement. They own a house of their own that has enough rooms that nobody uses.
Secondly, her reasons are very valid, which probably would be my reasons too. We don't always want to talk, be cuddled or argue, sometimes we just need our space to think clearly and enjoy the solitude. She went ahead to say she doesn't like herself during her menstrual phase so she stays away from everyone, doesn't go to work, she is just indoor writhing in pain and consoling herself. She would like to continue with that without having to bother or lash out at her husband simply because she is in pain. She made him understand that he is only fighting it because he has been conditioned traditionally that they must have the same room. However, if he is been truthful to himself he would realize that alone times can't be bought with money, doesn't mean they don't love each other anymore, it just means there is a need for recharge.

Her other reason was she wouldn't want her siblings or very close friends to ever have a reason to step into their matrimonial bedroom, which is the husband's room.
Her last reason, very valid too, is that she is quite a clumsy person, she looks for one outfit for the day and the whole place is upside down, her husband however is very neat freak and loves everything exactly how they should be. She said she wants to have her freedom and be able to have her things in a separate room, that way her mess is out of his face.

I personally think its a great idea for a woman to have a separate room that is hers, she can decorate it to her taste, have her me times, like her own closet. Even though most of the night I will be in my husband's room cuddled up, cos what is sleep without my man. But I'd love to know the option is there for me when I need to be alone for whatever reason. Moreso, the room is not going to be out of bound to my husband, he can always come in whenever he wants, the bed will be big enough for two, just incase the HS ministers to us right there....lol

All her reasons are smelling. There is a or some valid reasons she hasn't said. Marriage is simply not meant for her type.
If the guy can't condone her type, it's better he calls the relationship a day at that point for his sanity and mental health.

Mariangeles:
Separate bedrooms in marriage is nonsense!
Couples who have separate bedrooms will hardly be able to resolve issues in their marriage (quickly).
Whoever wants a separate bedroom in marriage is selfish and simply not ready for marriage.

Hmmmm, are you married?

A couple can stay in the same room before the arrival of children, but the moment those little damsels comes, they should have a separate room because the children under 4 years old tend to sleep in the same bed with their mums.

Jeon:
I support separate bedrooms .At least one suppose to have a private space and time.
No be everytime I go dy inhale someone's breathe, odour, or fart.

No need for marriage

She's in our room I have my room which is my study with a bed

Arijude:
are you a wizard that travel to other realm at night?

Wizards stop at psychic realms, I travel across those realms and beyond to where the wizards can not access. So I am beyond wizards.

Give her space.
Then, get your room too.
That is the answer.

Mariangeles:
Separate bedrooms in marriage is nonsense!
Couples who have separate bedrooms will hardly be able to resolve issues in their marriage (quickly).
Whoever wants a separate bedroom in marriage is selfish and simply not ready for marriage.

Wait, seriously.....Me way like personal space very very much no go gree with one bedroom woh. WE MUST HAVE SEPRATE ROOMS & BED...No be everyday u go want to sleep on same bed & room with wify now.

Sometimes I for want enjoy my big ALONE woh ....let me even make this clear to my GF sef

[quote author=loveoris post=130346714]Is it such a bad idea though?
whenver he wants, the bed will be big enough for two, just incase the HS ministers to us right there....lol[/quote

the man dey snore em dey worry the woman