₦airaland Forum

ScotHarvath:
Sex is another issue, I always have to beg for it and when I raised the issue in anger she said I can be going to get it from other girls.

I really don’t think most Nigerian girls deserve or want a cool headed man. They will show you shege.

Thinking back and seeing only the things I did I can only can myself a fool. Helping with the chores, helping with the kids, revealing everything about my finances to her, standing up to her family for once admonishing her, spending too much time with her and trying to make her my everything.


Friends have taught me a lot in this life which I why I chose to avoid friends and focus on my wife and family but this woman is making those same guys I abandoned for her call me a fool.


If there’s an altercation, she turns on off the TV and sound system so the neighbors can hear everything.


Is it wrong to be a good man and want your wife to be your best friend.

If this marriage finally fails, the next woman I will date will see another version of me

How old is your wife?

nanauju:
Maybe you should have a discussion with her about this current situation and how you feel.
If she also has something on her mind to clear she should say it. Make it a two way thing and get a feedback from her.
You can move forward on the next point of action from there

You ladies are always quick to dish out lame advice. Something you know will never work

nanauju:
Maybe you should have a discussion with her about this current situation and how you feel.
If she also has something on her mind to clear she should say it. Make it a two way thing and get a feedback from her.
You can move forward on the next point of action from there

Someone is fucccckkiing her so bad that when the dicck slip out she puts it back in


When your dog starts backing at you ,know for sure someone else is feeding him

RPG2020:
Same thing happening with me my woman said she hates me and the kids

She is always bitter no laughing no playing with the kids always angry 😡 I'm down I'm feeling for the kids we both don't deserve them when their is problem first thing she does is to carry knife 🗡️

Wahala ooo!!!

Why don’t you tell him all the rubbish he wants to hear instead of quoting me?

Salah goat

Valwezzy:
Some of you just talk without giving thoughts to your words first 🤦‍♂️

You don’t know what OP is, yet, you’ve been all over the thread lambasting and accusing him of being sinister?

Are you sure everything is okay? Because I don’t understand how you can contradict yourself by jumping into conclusions whilst still admitting you don’t know for sure his aim for this thread?

Don’t bother replying, have a nice day!

ScotHarvath:
Sex is another issue, I always have to beg for it and when I raised the issue in anger she said I can be going to get it from other girls.

I really don’t think most Nigerian girls deserve or want a cool headed man. They will show you shege.

Thinking back and seeing only the things I did I can only can myself a fool. Helping with the chores, helping with the kids, revealing everything about my finances to her, standing up to her family for once admonishing her, spending too much time with her and trying to make her my everything.


Friends have taught me a lot in this life which I why I chose to avoid friends and focus on my wife and family but this woman is making those same guys I abandoned for her call me a fool.


If there’s an altercation, she turns on off the TV and sound system so the neighbors can hear everything.


Is it wrong to be a good man and want your wife to be your best friend.

If this marriage finally fails, the next woman I will date will see another version of me

That last statement is improper. Why punish someone else for a completely different person's bad behavior?

If you're going to end this marriage, which I don't pray for, then I pray you never meet anyone else.

Change your mindset and stop regretting being a good man. Try to make your marriage work, and learn to forgive your wife. I know these things are not easy, but then you should have been prepared for challenging times like this before going into something as sacred as marriage.

Besides, you also did something wrong (and who knows how many other wrongs you've done?) You left home so early and returned so late. At that time, you ordered her to go prepare a meal for you. Man, she's not your slave, and given the current situation of things, how else do you think she'd respond? You're not helping matters, honestly.

You are a man, express that.

ibechris:
If u want to solve this problem.

Get another apartment and leave her there,tell her u are tired of her and possibly considering marrying another woman.

This economy alone will teach her a very big lesson,I mean a big lesson that,except she changes for good.

U didn't cause anything,that is the best way to treat a woman after all,don't u have sisters.

In my case,I have a job but I work from home too...I bought my wife a car,I take care of her and my children. I tell her everything about my income/business and even include her name in all the lands i have,Sometimes I cook before she comes back from work,I make sure her room heater is on and she doesn't play with me.

I think in ur case,she is ungrateful and insolent...that is why she feels comfortable disrespecting u.

i think you are right....you have spoken like a true matured man



normally Nigerians generalized things based on their present predicament..

Nigerian women are bad BUT not all..few are good

This is why it is important to have a healthy space, and self respect. Too much familairity is not very good sometimes.

But not everyone is the same. Have your seperate finance. Sometimes some persons are not good with power. Women are built differently know this.

This what you get when you spend most of your time on NL. I didn’t read the part where you guys sat down to discuss the issue. Instead, you brought it here for NL women bashers to have a field day with. I was waiting for the part where you’d type “Nigerian women” and you didn’t disappoint. What you’re seeing in your wife is the manifestation of a preconceived mindset based on the things you’ve been reading on here. And they have gathered to fuel it even more.

You came back around 10PM when she was probably in bed and asked her to go to the kitchen and prepare something something for you, and when she protested, your mind started telling you it was because you made breakfast the previous day or because you’ve been nice? If she went out with friends and came back at 10PM, what would be your reaction? Sir, something is wrong with your marriage and you’re not ready to address it. Go ahead and get a side chick and see how that works out for you in the long term. I’m 100% sure that if she comes here to tell her side of the story, a lot will be revealed.

Dude, go and have a heart-to-heart with your wife.

cococandy:
A good man will always be good man. I agree

We just don’t know what OP is.

If a man can cook and sweep for a woman while she sleep isnt okay i wonder what again she need. Omo the woman get luck. Me cook you the sleep. Ha ha ha...... Heaven go shake.

nanauju:
Maybe you should have a discussion with her about this current situation and how you feel.
If she also has something on her mind to clear she should say it. Make it a two way thing and get a feedback from her.
You can move forward on the next point of action from there

Well, as one married man to another, I can only advise that you take back the leadership of your home from your wife. She's been controlling you and you are just realizing it. If she is denying you sex for month and you know she loves sex. You know fully well that she's getting it eslewhere. There is no perfect formula to keeping a home. Everyone has his own separate formular

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

We have two kids.

Yesterday which was Father’s Day, she woke up at 10 o clock, before she did, I had slept the house and prepared breakfast because I felt she needed to rest.


I went out to with my friends around 6pm and came back around 10pm and asked her to help make toast for dinner and she boldly told me to go the kitchen and make it myself.

I really blame myself for this situation now, I made myself to accessible to all. I barely keep friends. So I made her my best friend, tell her everything about my finances and all. I treat her as an equal.


Is it wrong to treat a Nigerian woman well this days?


Everybody is advising me to get a side chick but I’m not that kind of man, I’m not sneaky or crafty enough to maintain two relationships.

I have been told to stop spending time with her at home but I’m an introvert, I don’t like frolicking with other people unless it’s absolutely necessary and besides I work from home.

I have also been advised to treat her like a stranger in her house and not talk to her for days but once again I don’t want that kind of life. I feel truly trapped.

So bro
As u can see another dude is clearly digging ur wife

God1000:
You are wrong, a good man will always be a good man, he has done nothing wrong asking people for advice, do you want him to die in silence?

He didn't ask for any advice, he's ranting and putting the woman in a bad light. She's wrong for disrespecting him, but that man doesn't seem like he's ready to save his marriage. Just take a look at the last statement in his second post.

cococandy:
He wants people to tell him to stop being a “good” husband, so that he can feel justified in his nonsense that he’s plotting.

That’s if the wife even exists. For all we know this is just another one of them women hating threads.

I have been there. I swear to God. He is not lying. Some women, when they know they’re irreplaceable, you’re in trouble. They wont love or respect u. I feel he should leave. If she wants the marriage to work, he should state his terms and conditions. Thats what i did nd it worked

[quote author=Namaster post=130514300]"She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me."

That's a NEW dick speaking through your wife. You wife started tasting a new dick a couple of months ago and that's when it started.

She only asked you to stay because the new dick knows she's a LovePeddler and will not have anything serious with her. He'll fuuuck the shit out of her, though.


Shut up, Mumu. I don't know why some people drive Joy to spoil people's marriage. My fiance then, now my wife, we've had arguments in the past before our marriage, and she told me same thing "you disgust me, and I hate you". Mind you, I married my wife Virgin.

Now tell me, how does the statement above make her sleep around when she's still a virgin?

OP, kindly call your wife in a round table, bring your pride down and tell her to tell you what you did that she don't like. Apologize and believe me, she will open up to you all you have been doing she don't like. Then you take correction.

For marriage or relationship to work, one person has to pay the price wether he/she is at fault or not.

Justkatty:
Pray for her
Pamper her
Increase upkeep money
Spend more time with her
Avoid using abusive words on her
She'll definitely come back to you
God see you through.

u naija women don't deserve love...u deserve only to be bleeped nd thrown into d dustbin like d trash u are

The truth is that it's not good to be too nice to woman. They tend to abuse it. That's my own Cent!!

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

We have two kids.

Yesterday which was Father’s Day, she woke up at 10 o clock, before she did, I had slept the house and prepared breakfast because I felt she needed to rest.


I went out to with my friends around 6pm and came back around 10pm and asked her to help make toast for dinner and she boldly told me to go the kitchen and make it myself.

I really blame myself for this situation now, I made myself to accessible to all. I barely keep friends. So I made her my best friend, tell her everything about my finances and all. I treat her as an equal.


Is it wrong to treat a Nigerian woman well this days?


Everybody is advising me to get a side chick but I’m not that kind of man, I’m not sneaky or crafty enough to maintain two relationships.

I have been told to stop spending time with her at home but I’m an introvert, I don’t like frolicking with other people unless it’s absolutely necessary and besides I work from home.

I have also been advised to treat her like a stranger in her house and not talk to her for days but once again I don’t want that kind of life. I feel truly trapped.

Biggest mistake is to treat a Nigerian woman as an equal, their psyche isn't wired that way

dominique:
Let's hear the other side of the story first.

When it’s a woman that lays accusations women don’t say let’s hear the man’s version of the story before castigating him.

Dumb blocks

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

We have two kids.

Yesterday which was Father’s Day, she woke up at 10 o clock, before she did, I had slept the house and prepared breakfast because I felt she needed to rest.


I went out to with my friends around 6pm and came back around 10pm and asked her to help make toast for dinner and she boldly told me to go the kitchen and make it myself.

I really blame myself for this situation now, I made myself to accessible to all. I barely keep friends. So I made her my best friend, tell her everything about my finances and all. I treat her as an equal.


Is it wrong to treat a Nigerian woman well this days?


Everybody is advising me to get a side chick but I’m not that kind of man, I’m not sneaky or crafty enough to maintain two relationships.

I have been told to stop spending time with her at home but I’m an introvert, I don’t like frolicking with other people unless it’s absolutely necessary and besides I work from home.

I have also been advised to treat her like a stranger in her house and not talk to her for days but once again I don’t want that kind of life. I feel truly trapped.

Whether the story is true or not. Nobody will believe you because it's sounds too good to be true.
Exactly the same thing happened to me and nobody believed I was punished for being too good. People will always think you did something wrong.

Women don't like it when you make them your everything. Always have friends and family you enjoy life with.
Have other things going on in your life that she's not part of. They find you more attractive that way.

Concerning this your situation. There's nothing you can do about it. She can never want you genuinely again no matter what you do, or how you choose to protest.
Your main mistake is making her your everything and being so domestic. Two attributes that makes a man unattractive the most.

1. Go out and make friends with both men and women. Connect with more people and spend less time at home. Except you're working.
2. Get a hubby and try to enjoy it more than marauding around the house.
3. Stop trying to make your wife equal. Women want a man that leads with firmness. Not the equality you think they crave
4. Be less domestic and feminine. Grow some balls and show some dominance and assertiveness.
5. Be more inclined in doing the right thing than trying to please her. In fact please and beg less.
6. There's nothing wrong in exerting some physical force when necessary.


Give it six months and see if she gets back in line. But never expect the old love cause it's no longer for you.
Also use to six months to plan your happy exit. In case she's sworn to remain irredeemable.

How you be telling a woman about your finances you must be a chatterbox. No wonder she detests you.
I have no sympathy for weak men.
Carry your cross

cococandy:
You haven’t really said the truth about the purpose of this your thread 😏😒

what do u ladies really want in marriage?

She can never change .
Just manage her by doing what's in your capacity. Don't kill yourself.

Funny thing is, I am in the same situation as you, only not married with kids. I can't even look at other women except this one. But you know, when you are being taken for granted. You just gradually pull away, you have to, otherwise it's a life of misery for you.

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

We have two kids.

Yesterday which was Father’s Day, she woke up at 10 o clock, before she did, I had slept the house and prepared breakfast because I felt she needed to rest.


I went out to with my friends around 6pm and came back around 10pm and asked her to help make toast for dinner and she boldly told me to go the kitchen and make it myself.

I really blame myself for this situation now, I made myself to accessible to all. I barely keep friends. So I made her my best friend, tell her everything about my finances and all. I treat her as an equal.


Is it wrong to treat a Nigerian woman well this days?


Everybody is advising me to get a side chick but I’m not that kind of man, I’m not sneaky or crafty enough to maintain two relationships.

I have been told to stop spending time with her at home but I’m an introvert, I don’t like frolicking with other people unless it’s absolutely necessary and besides I work from home.

I have also been advised to treat her like a stranger in her house and not talk to her for days but once again I don’t want that kind of life. I feel truly trapped.

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

We have two kids.

Yesterday which was Father’s Day, she woke up at 10 o clock, before she did, I had slept the house and prepared breakfast because I felt she needed to rest.


I went out to with my friends around 6pm and came back around 10pm and asked her to help make toast for dinner and she boldly told me to go the kitchen and make it myself.

I really blame myself for this situation now, I made myself to accessible to all. I barely keep friends. So I made her my best friend, tell her everything about my finances and all. I treat her as an equal.


Is it wrong to treat a Nigerian woman well this days?


Everybody is advising me to get a side chick but I’m not that kind of man, I’m not sneaky or crafty enough to maintain two relationships.

I have been told to stop spending time with her at home but I’m an introvert, I don’t like frolicking with other people unless it’s absolutely necessary and besides I work from home.

I have also been advised to treat her like a stranger in her house and not talk to her for days but once again I don’t want that kind of life. I feel truly trapped.

Leave bro. If she chases you, tell her the terms and conditions for u to remain. I have been there before. When they know you cant leave them, they’ll show u peper. Work on yourself, get better and leave with the kids. You have to show her you are a man. If u want to live a long life, tackle the problem now.

The devil is constantly attacking marriages and relationships with Jezebel spirits (google it). It wants to strip you off your masculinity and make u feel less of a man. And it’s working. I was in a relationship that i was once told you disgust me too😂 she told me she hates me. Insults and abuses. Until i left her and blocked her everywhere. She came back begging and explaining it was immaturity. I never took her back tho. But anywhere she sees me now, its full complement respect and she is still hoping we get back. Stand up as a man and draw the lines on the ground. If she crosses it, leave.

To be honest my brother ScotHarvath, Weak men like you really annoy me....Cause no matter what advice people give, u would still crawl back TO UR ABUSIVE WIFE & EVEN SPILL EVERYTHING to her.

So, suvk it up till she starts bringing in her new lover into the house & sleep while u cook & do the chores for them.

Goodluck 👍

Diamond1605:
Lies lies you won’t say how you beat her like a drum, you won’t say how you cheated more than 8 times with 8 different women.

You won’t say how you always insult her and her family.

You won’t say how you step on her while beating her.

You won’t say how you made her feel like she is not a human

Those your friends advising you will definitely lead you astray

Come out and say the full story
Coward

Do you know him offline?

Sit her down and understand why she's behaving the way she does. If she said nothing, it could be because you're in each other's face all the time so she's tired of you.

Secondly, you need to define the frequency of sex in the marriage, preferably two or three times per week. Sex in marriage creates bonding esp if its regular.

If there's no headway, then call for separation or divorce, do not be a simp

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

We have two kids.

Yesterday which was Father’s Day, she woke up at 10 o clock, before she did, I had slept the house and prepared breakfast because I felt she needed to rest.


I went out to with my friends around 6pm and came back around 10pm and asked her to help make toast for dinner and she boldly told me to go the kitchen and make it myself.

I really blame myself for this situation now, I made myself to accessible to all. I barely keep friends. So I made her my best friend, tell her everything about my finances and all. I treat her as an equal.


Is it wrong to treat a Nigerian woman well this days?


Everybody is advising me to get a side chick but I’m not that kind of man, I’m not sneaky or crafty enough to maintain two relationships.

I have been told to stop spending time with her at home but I’m an introvert, I don’t like frolicking with other people unless it’s absolutely necessary and besides I work from home.

I have also been advised to treat her like a stranger in her house and not talk to her for days but once again I don’t want that kind of life. I feel truly trapped.

Diamond1605:
Tell him to tell you the real truth
That all I will say

I know there is another side to the story. How can you go out to flex, come back by 10pm and start asking for toast bread? Ogbeni make your darned toast bread yourself or come back at a more responsible hour

cococandy:
Why don’t you tell him all the rubbish he wants to hear instead of quoting me?

Salah goat

Yawns…

I expected this shiiit because I knew you weren't smart enough, turns out you're much worse, filled with so much bile and vileness.

You must really take me for your husband, father, and son and think it’s everyone you can attack and insult unprovoked.

Typical lame and dumb uncouth thot🤦‍♂️, You can neither make a reasonable comment nor defend your claims without resorting to insults

It's alright twerp, you've been noticed, I can’t remember hurling insults at you but since you want to be bitchy and petty, I’ll whip you off your pseudo-high-horses because the only positive thing about you is your HIV status.

You’re not worth it, now skedaddle and go continue masking your face with makeup whilst stewing in your ignorance, dumb bimbo!

cococandy:
Sorry I’m not easily fooled.

Read the comments he’s getting exactly what he wants. For people to tell him to start misbehaving

If he’s that good and she hates him for no reason, he can divorce. I’m a proponent of divorce when only one party is doing everything they can to make the relationship work and the other party just refuses to cooperate. He should get a divorce and stop the stories that touch.

Great observation. If he is that good, even if she is taking him for granted she will not use such words on him. There is a reason she said what she said. The OP never talk true

My advice might look stupid but I understand the only thing your peaceful marriage lacks is a good sexual life. I have noticed some women find it hard leaving bad guys because of his sexual prowess. So please research how to please woman in bedroom after all dick is not the only way to please women in the bedroom, buy different intimacy gadgets you will personally use on her, identify the sensitive points in her body and be open to pre-intimacy techniques like mouth action and fingering. In summary, research all the ways to please a woman sexually before your next sexual encounter with wife.
BONUS: Be more romantic aside treating her as an equal and helping her around the house. Research that too.