₦airaland Forum

Patient!!
Patient!!
Patient!!!


What you are going through is just a phase in most marriages when you feel you shouldn't have gotten married to your partner.
Please do not take decision in hurry,that may put your entire family in jeopardy.

Remember you have got kids and if the marriage fails the children will be the sufferer too,they may not even recover from it.

Please what ever you can do to make your marriage work please do as is in your best interest to do.

Helping you wife with chores is a thing of dignity, please do not let anyone talk you out of it.anything you do ,you do for your family which includes you and may also be appealing to your wife's conscience to seat up when you do..

Please always think of the children before you make decision.... overalls God can be trusted for your wife to repledge total loyalty to you!!!

Pls don't listen to those telling you to get a side chick. You have been a good man,don't stop now. I will advise you ignore her for a while... it pains women. Don't change your personality because of her behaviour.quote author=ScotHarvath post=130514323]Sex is another issue, I always have to beg for it and when I raised the issue in anger she said I can be going to get it from other girls.

I really don’t think most Nigerian girls deserve or want a cool headed man. They will show you shege.

Thinking back and seeing only the things I did I can only can myself a fool. Helping with the chores, helping with the kids, revealing everything about my finances to her, standing up to her family for once admonishing her, spending too much time with her and trying to make her my everything.


Friends have taught me a lot in this life which I why I chose to avoid friends and focus on my wife and family but this woman is making those same guys I abandoned for her call me a fool.


If there’s an altercation, she turns on off the TV and sound system so the neighbors can hear everything.


Is it wrong to be a good man and want your wife to be your best friend.

If this marriage finally fails, the next woman I will date will see another version of me[/quote]

ScotHarvath:
Sex is another issue, I always have to beg for it and when I raised the issue in anger she said I can be going to get it from other girls.

I really don’t think most Nigerian girls deserve or want a cool headed man. They will show you shege.

Thinking back and seeing only the things I did I can only can myself a fool. Helping with the chores, helping with the kids, revealing everything about my finances to her, standing up to her family for once admonishing her, spending too much time with her and trying to make her my everything.


Friends have taught me a lot in this life which I why I chose to avoid friends and focus on my wife and family but this woman is making those same guys I abandoned for her call me a fool.


If there’s an altercation, she turns on off the TV and sound system so the neighbors can hear everything.


Is it wrong to be a good man and want your wife to be your best friend.

If this marriage finally fails, the next woman I will date will see another version of me

Very important, you can't keep a woman by becoming too friendly, you need to keep secret, keep her guessing, ladies hate nice guys.

In my opinion, you stop talking altogether, don't discuss it, come home do your duties, let her do the talking.

Two things will happen
1. One she will ask for the divorce
2. She will try to make up.

You have to be prepared for no 1, if she comes around with no 2. Remember to set boundaries, no more keeping her in a loop on all things, sometimes just give her space.

Me don pack comot for my house like 3 times na friends and family and my lovely daughter face I dey look to come back home... F*ck marriage all women are the same.

One sided story. Until we hear from the wife, we won't say anything.

Namaster:
"She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me."

That's a NEW dick speaking through your wife. You wife started tasting a new dick a couple of months ago and that's when it started.

She only asked you to stay because the new dick knows she's a LovePeddler and will not have anything serious with her. He'll fuuuck the shit out of her, though.

The fact that you stayed after being told to your face that you are no different from FAECES to her shows you have ZERO respect for yourself.

You have NO boundaries. So get ready for MORE. She'll start BEATING you soon.

You are the WET dream of abusive whores—an introvert with LOW self-esteem who'll SWEEP the house while a bitch is in bed SLEEPING till 10 o' clock. If you have a little money, your LovePeddler has hit the jackpot.

You'll NOT listen but I'll tell you anyway:

Get a DNA test for both kids. Then KICK her out. No matter the results of the DNA tests, KICK HER OUT.

the devil just typed.. don't pay attention.

Namaster:
"She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me."

That's a NEW dick speaking through your wife. You wife started tasting a new dick a couple of months ago and that's when it started.

She only asked you to stay because the new dick knows she's a LovePeddler and will not have anything serious with her. He'll fuuuck the shit out of her, though.

The fact that you stayed after being told to your face that you are no different from FAECES to her shows you have ZERO respect for yourself.

You have NO boundaries. So get ready for MORE. She'll start BEATING you soon.

You are the WET dream of abusive whores—an introvert with LOW self-esteem who'll SWEEP the house while a bitch is in bed SLEEPING till 10 o' clock. If you have a little money, your LovePeddler has hit the jackpot.

You'll NOT listen but I'll tell you anyway:

Get a DNA test for both kids. Then KICK her out. No matter the results of the DNA tests, KICK HER OUT.

ScotHarvath

Listening to this kind of advise and having a broken home can not be divorced.

NothingDoMe:
I think she is. She should create a thread so we can hear her side of the story since they've appointed us compulsory listeners.

Online in-laws

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

We have two kids.

Yesterday which was Father’s Day, she woke up at 10 o clock, before she did, I had slept the house and prepared breakfast because I felt she needed to rest.


I went out to with my friends around 6pm and came back around 10pm and asked her to help make toast for dinner and she boldly told me to go the kitchen and make it myself.

I really blame myself for this situation now, I made myself to accessible to all. I barely keep friends. So I made her my best friend, tell her everything about my finances and all. I treat her as an equal.


Is it wrong to treat a Nigerian woman well this days?


Everybody is advising me to get a side chick but I’m not that kind of man, I’m not sneaky or crafty enough to maintain two relationships.

I have been told to stop spending time with her at home but I’m an introvert, I don’t like frolicking with other people unless it’s absolutely necessary and besides I work from home.

I have also been advised to treat her like a stranger in her house and not talk to her for days but once again I don’t want that kind of life. I feel truly trapped.

Lol, God that created both didn't make them equal, Na you be equation master Abi? ok balance the equation for God Na.
Do not maltreat your wife, however play your role as a man and let her play her role as a woman.
I don't know of America but in this Naija, if a woman say she no dey cook, enter the kitchen and cook your food sharply, very soon she go realised that she is becoming of no use to you and that could lead to her easy replacement without losing anything and this thought will factory reset her brain without you lifting a finger, It is called reverse psychology.

ScotHarvath:
Sex is another issue, I always have to beg for it and when I raised the issue in anger she said I can be going to get it from other girls.

I really don’t think most Nigerian girls deserve or want a cool headed man. They will show you shege.

Thinking back and seeing only the things I did I can only can myself a fool. Helping with the chores, helping with the kids, revealing everything about my finances to her, standing up to her family for once admonishing her, spending too much time with her and trying to make her my everything.


Friends have taught me a lot in this life which I why I chose to avoid friends and focus on my wife and family but this woman is making those same guys I abandoned for her call me a fool.


If there’s an altercation, she turns on off the TV and sound system so the neighbors can hear everything.


Is it wrong to be a good man and want your wife to be your best friend.

If this marriage finally fails, the next woman I will date will see another version of me

What you seeing is because you gave room for disrespect.

I can’t type much but if you open to call, send me a DM. What’s your location?

cococandy:
He wants people to tell him to stop being a “good” husband, so that he can feel justified in his nonsense that he’s plotting.

That’s if the wife even exists. For all we know this is just another one of them women hating threads.

Why are you women like this? Do you ever say this if the narrator is a woman? Accountability is far from you, write and give your advice based on what is churned out and stop defending rubb*ish because a woman is in the picture. Reverse the scenario you won't be saying this.

cococandy:
He wants people to tell him to stop being a “good” husband, so that he can feel justified in his nonsense that he’s plotting.

That’s if the wife even exists. For all we know this is just another one of them women hating threads.

when are you going to grow past this. If I am not mistaken, you have been a member here for more than 15 years.

cococandy:
What made him become a woman?

And why is womanhood attributed to loss of respect?
Yall are saying the quiet part out loud. Because to you women haters, being a woman means being a lesser human and that’s why it’s disrespectful to be seen as or compared to a woman

Gtfoh

A woman is a greater human? Why does hypergamy exist? It's God, man and then woman, fyi!

You are too dependent on her. It was a mistake making her your close friend, first thing is to limit your friendship, and if she distance herself from you, keep limiting it little by little.

but if she shows true signs of regrets, maintain it at some level.

Some women have a different a mentality, not one plus one.

She has figured you out, she knows how to bend you already

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

We have two kids.

Yesterday which was Father’s Day, she woke up at 10 o clock, before she did, I had slept the house and prepared breakfast because I felt she needed to rest.


I went out to with my friends around 6pm and came back around 10pm and asked her to help make toast for dinner and she boldly told me to go the kitchen and make it myself.

I really blame myself for this situation now, I made myself to accessible to all. I barely keep friends. So I made her my best friend, tell her everything about my finances and all. I treat her as an equal.


Is it wrong to treat a Nigerian woman well this days?


Everybody is advising me to get a side chick but I’m not that kind of man, I’m not sneaky or crafty enough to maintain two relationships.

I have been told to stop spending time with her at home but I’m an introvert, I don’t like frolicking with other people unless it’s absolutely necessary and besides I work from home.

I have also been advised to treat her like a stranger in her house and not talk to her for days but once again I don’t want that kind of life. I feel truly trapped.

Namaster:
"She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me."

That's a NEW dick speaking through your wife. You wife started tasting a new dick a couple of months ago and that's when it started.

She only asked you to stay because the new dick knows she's a LovePeddler and will not have anything serious with her. He'll fuuuck the shit out of her, though.

The fact that you stayed after being told to your face that you are no different from FAECES to her shows you have ZERO respect for yourself.

You have NO boundaries. So get ready for MORE. She'll start BEATING you soon.

You are the WET dream of abusive whores—an introvert with LOW self-esteem who'll SWEEP the house while a bitch is in bed SLEEPING till 10 o' clock. If you have a little money, your LovePeddler has hit the jackpot.

You'll NOT listen but I'll tell you anyway:

Get a DNA test for both kids. Then KICK her out. No matter the results of the DNA tests, KICK HER OUT.

This seems harsh but truth they says is bitter

What happened op?

Tell us why she changed, you cannot be this nice and get treated like craps. Some of us were born in the night, not last night.
There is more to this story than you are letting on.

ScotHarvath:
Sex is another issue, I always have to beg for it and when I raised the issue in anger she said I can be going to get it from other girls.

I really don’t think most Nigerian girls deserve or want a cool headed man. They will show you shege.

Thinking back and seeing only the things I did I can only can myself a fool. Helping with the chores, helping with the kids, revealing everything about my finances to her, standing up to her family for once admonishing her, spending too much time with her and trying to make her my everything.


Friends have taught me a lot in this life which I why I chose to avoid friends and focus on my wife and family but this woman is making those same guys I abandoned for her call me a fool.


If there’s an altercation, she turns on off the TV and sound system so the neighbors can hear everything.


Is it wrong to be a good man and want your wife to be your best friend.

If this marriage finally fails, the next woman I will date will see another version of me

She no get parents?
What of Pastor or Bootmen that can talk in your families?

Which kind marriage be dis?!

If my woman turns the TV off on me?!

haaaaa, SMH.

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

We have two kids.

Yesterday which was Father’s Day, she woke up at 10 o clock, before she did, I had slept the house and prepared breakfast because I felt she needed to rest.


I went out to with my friends around 6pm and came back around 10pm and asked her to help make toast for dinner and she boldly told me to go the kitchen and make it myself.

I really blame myself for this situation now, I made myself to accessible to all. I barely keep friends. So I made her my best friend, tell her everything about my finances and all. I treat her as an equal.


Is it wrong to treat a Nigerian woman well this days?


Everybody is advising me to get a side chick but I’m not that kind of man, I’m not sneaky or crafty enough to maintain two relationships.

I have been told to stop spending time with her at home but I’m an introvert, I don’t like frolicking with other people unless it’s absolutely necessary and besides I work from home.

I have also been advised to treat her like a stranger in her house and not talk to her for days but once again I don’t want that kind of life. I feel truly trapped.

You don't know what you want.....

advanceDNA:
Lol.....married men dey suffer oooo....

Sex wey women go carry their leg wakka come chop...dey even beg u with different tactics like, I will soon go ooo.....I'm hot I want to wear only ur shirt..I want to charge phone and watch film on ur bed....

You really sabi dem well well. And when you hold dem join body, dem go saye leave me, whereas dem don wet finish seeing the sight of you erected gbola through your pants.

ibechris:
Na lie,I hate it when we make it look like a woman is a log of wood. What do u then say,when the woman begs a man for sex?

That is simply a fat lie...women get tired too that she declined sex now does not mean that the marriage is about to fail.

Gets tired for 6month straight and you can't hold such woman accountable? Abeg talk another thing, most of the ladies who deprive their husbands sex is not because they are tired but because they intentionally do that to him some are even having s*x outside. What is wrong holding women accountable on marriage just as women hold men accountable?

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

We have two kids.

Yesterday which was Father’s Day, she woke up at 10 o clock, before she did, I had slept the house and prepared breakfast because I felt she needed to rest.


I went out to with my friends around 6pm and came back around 10pm and asked her to help make toast for dinner and she boldly told me to go the kitchen and make it myself.

I really blame myself for this situation now, I made myself to accessible to all. I barely keep friends. So I made her my best friend, tell her everything about my finances and all. I treat her as an equal.


Is it wrong to treat a Nigerian woman well this days?


Everybody is advising me to get a side chick but I’m not that kind of man, I’m not sneaky or crafty enough to maintain two relationships.

I have been told to stop spending time with her at home but I’m an introvert, I don’t like frolicking with other people unless it’s absolutely necessary and besides I work from home.

I have also been advised to treat her like a stranger in her house and not talk to her for days but once again I don’t want that kind of life. I feel truly trapped.

Since you have every excuse to every advice given to you to help you then I suggest you start getting comfortable in your trapped state while another man pipes you wife relentlessly until she poisons you which we will surely be here to read if you continue in your stu.pi.d simp lifestyle.

Solofresh2:
She claimed to hate you and doesn't even enjoy sex with you saying you can get it from other girls. Bro,what else are you waiting to hear?
This woman can wake up one night and stab you to death. Is like you don't know how the emotion and mind of a woman operates.
Stop loving heartbroken women. They are always out for revenge even before marriage. They are like devils.They will stab you without thinking twice once they are done with you.
Stop dating heartbroken women!
By the way, you lack self respect. You should let your wife do her duties and be a man too but no,you decided to be the woman instead thereby, sweeping, cooking and doing home chores.Now she is seeing you as a woman and not a man. Because you have confused her with your doings.
It is well with your soul bro

Loisemm2:
Let your current wife see that other version of you first. See, most women like good men but they only respect and truly love a man they perceive as strong and firm. Mature women who have seen and experienced life will know the worth of a good man but most ladies don't till they learn to.

You need to become more firm with her. Don't tolerate nonsensical behaviour from her. Ignore her till thy kingdom come if she starts misbehaving. You can also choose not to mince words with her. Lay it all out with a very firm hard tone and face. Let her realise herself and choose a better path. Then let her know you won't continue to take mistreatment and foul words from her. Or there will be consequences. Not necessarily divorce. But don't tell her you can't do away with her if push comes to shove.
If she really values you and her marriage, she will seek for ways to make amends. If she doesn't, its her loss.

Even if she changes, love her very well but never become a door mat or an effeminate man again. Continue to be that strong firm disciplined man she knows she can't misbehave with. That man she knows loves her to the moon and back but won't take rubbish attitudes from her. This is the ideal man many women want and respect.

Cc ScotHarvath
Can u work on the above advice?
I'm glad it is coming from a lady
The moment I saw your post, I knew u were a weak man. Nobody really likes a push over, you sound completely like someone without his own will & mind.

Diamond1605:
Lies lies you won’t say how you beat her like a drum, you won’t say how you cheated more than 8 times with 8 different women.

You won’t say how you always insult her and her family.

You won’t say how you step on her while beating her.

You won’t say how you made her feel like she is not a human

Those your friends advising you will definitely lead you astray

Come out and say the full story
Coward

Speak for yourself and your marriage.

ScotHarvath:
Sex is another issue, I always have to beg for it and when I raised the issue in anger she said I can be going to get it from other girls.

I really don’t think most Nigerian girls deserve or want a cool headed man. They will show you shege.

Thinking back and seeing only the things I did I can only can myself a fool. Helping with the chores, helping with the kids, revealing everything about my finances to her, standing up to her family for once admonishing her, spending too much time with her and trying to make her my everything.


Friends have taught me a lot in this life which I why I chose to avoid friends and focus on my wife and family but this woman is making those same guys I abandoned for her call me a fool.


If there’s an altercation, she turns on off the TV and sound system so the neighbors can hear everything.


Is it wrong to be a good man and want your wife to be your best friend.

If this marriage finally fails, the next woman I will date will see another version of me

you don't need all that. Be your true self... Time and patience reveals all things. My advise for you is. Emotionally moved on with your life, act as if she doesn't exit. Focus on your kids and your life. Don't pack out of the house. Give her all the liberty to misbehave. Start looking for side check to take off her burden of you. Love your kids more.

Bro, i was exactly like you during my marriage of 13 years that produced 2 kids . I am a religious type, my daily working day schedule is triangular- Work, home and Church. She , on the other hand, is an extrovert who kept male friends. But my bro, the moment you marry a woman whose lifestyle doesn’t match yours, the marriage is already heading for the rocks, The invaluable piece of advice i can give to you right now is 1. I know it’s difficult but put her in her place and give her a dose of her medicine. Stop helping her in household chores but don’t even ask for sex for now , so as to pass home the message. Day your normal good morning and lock up. e

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

We have two kids.

Yesterday which was Father’s Day, she woke up at 10 o clock, before she did, I had slept the house and prepared breakfast because I felt she needed to rest.


I went out to with my friends around 6pm and came back around 10pm and asked her to help make toast for dinner and she boldly told me to go the kitchen and make it myself.

I really blame myself for this situation now, I made myself to accessible to all. I barely keep friends. So I made her my best friend, tell her everything about my finances and all. I treat her as an equal.


Is it wrong to treat a Nigerian woman well this days?


Everybody is advising me to get a side chick but I’m not that kind of man, I’m not sneaky or crafty enough to maintain two relationships.

I have been told to stop spending time with her at home but I’m an introvert, I don’t like frolicking with other people unless it’s absolutely necessary and besides I work from home.

I have also been advised to treat her like a stranger in her house and not talk to her for days but once again I don’t want that kind of life. I feel truly trapped.

ScotHarvath:
Sex is another issue, I always have to beg for it and when I raised the issue in anger she said I can be going to get it from other girls.

I really don’t think most Nigerian girls deserve or want a cool headed man. They will show you shege.

Thinking back and seeing only the things I did I can only can myself a fool. Helping with the chores, helping with the kids, revealing everything about my finances to her, standing up to her family for once admonishing her, spending too much time with her and trying to make her my everything.


Friends have taught me a lot in this life which I why I chose to avoid friends and focus on my wife and family but this woman is making those same guys I abandoned for her call me a fool.


If there’s an altercation, she turns on off the TV and sound system so the neighbors can hear everything.


Is it wrong to be a good man and want your wife to be your best friend.

If this marriage finally fails, the next woman I will date will see another version of me

This is your own side of the story and we need to hear hers also. There may be something you are not telling us and I cannot pass judgement.
But if you are truly right in what you said and she has no defense, I will ask you to seperate from her. Don't divorce her yet but tell her to give you some space for the moment. She may be taking you for granted and you need to show her the other side of you.

Ishilove:
Online in-laws

You too know book. 😉

You just need to develop thick body for posting your family issues here.
Sit your wife down and have a chat with her.

ScotHarvath:
Sex is another issue, I always have to beg for it and when I raised the issue in anger she said I can be going to get it from other girls.

I really don’t think most Nigerian girls deserve or want a cool headed man. They will show you shege.

Thinking back and seeing only the things I did I can only can myself a fool. Helping with the chores, helping with the kids, revealing everything about my finances to her, standing up to her family for once admonishing her, spending too much time with her and trying to make her my everything.


Friends have taught me a lot in this life which I why I chose to avoid friends and focus on my wife and family but this woman is making those same guys I abandoned for her call me a fool.


If there’s an altercation, she turns on off the TV and sound system so the neighbors can hear everything.


Is it wrong to be a good man and want your wife to be your best friend.

If this marriage finally fails, the next woman I will date will see another version of me

I swear you are annoying.
You don't generally treat women like equals, except a mother, a boss, a supervisor, or an elder female relative.

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

We have two kids.

Yesterday which was Father’s Day, she woke up at 10 o clock, before she did, I had slept the house and prepared breakfast because I felt she needed to rest.


I went out to with my friends around 6pm and came back around 10pm and asked her to help make toast for dinner and she boldly told me to go the kitchen and make it myself.

I really blame myself for this situation now, I made myself to accessible to all. I barely keep friends. So I made her my best friend, tell her everything about my finances and all. I treat her as an equal.


Is it wrong to treat a Nigerian woman well this days?


Everybody is advising me to get a side chick but I’m not that kind of man, I’m not sneaky or crafty enough to maintain two relationships.

I have been told to stop spending time with her at home but I’m an introvert, I don’t like frolicking with other people unless it’s absolutely necessary and besides I work from home.

I have also been advised to treat her like a stranger in her house and not talk to her for days but once again I don’t want that kind of life. I feel truly trapped.

Ok.

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

We have two kids.

Yesterday which was Father’s Day, she woke up at 10 o clock, before she did, I had slept the house and prepared breakfast because I felt she needed to rest.


I went out to with my friends around 6pm and came back around 10pm and asked her to help make toast for dinner and she boldly told me to go the kitchen and make it myself.

I really blame myself for this situation now, I made myself to accessible to all. I barely keep friends. So I made her my best friend, tell her everything about my finances and all. I treat her as an equal.


Is it wrong to treat a Nigerian woman well this days?


Everybody is advising me to get a side chick but I’m not that kind of man, I’m not sneaky or crafty enough to maintain two relationships.

I have been told to stop spending time with her at home but I’m an introvert, I don’t like frolicking with other people unless it’s absolutely necessary and besides I work from home.

I have also been advised to treat her like a stranger in her house and not talk to her for days but once again I don’t want that kind of life. I feel truly trapped.

You have been advised on what to do and you don't want to do any.
E be like say you don't listen to advice.

One thing you should know is that you are losing your respect gradually and soon the bubble will burst, hope you are prepared for that

If I were you, I will ghost her, communication will only be done only when necessary and it concerns the kids.

Learn to hang out more and make it a point of duty not to come back early.

She should stop cooking for you and learn to eat out and make your food yourself if you have to eat at home.

Starts ABI g up for your old age and don't think she will be part of it.

If you have the finances have a side chick but you should be declined with her because they are all gold diggers.

Last of all check the kind of person her mother is closely if you have not.