₦airaland Forum

TheFreshVanilla:
All this on top noodles. Mere Bf, grow up.

I was waiting for them

Ayomide11111:
Should I consider what happened yesterday? Nairaland pls advice.

I came back from the studio yesterday's afternoon and I met my girlfriend in my house, yes she has one of my spare keys, I entered the house and I went straight to the kitchen.

I met her washing plates in the kitchen and I greeted her that she has done well but when I was about to leave the kitchen I observed that the kitchen walls were wet because anytime you cook in my kitchen the tiles on the walls gets wet due to the heat. Then, I asked her "babe what did you cook?" She said nothing that she only boiled water. I believed her and I did not suspect her because of the response but I was kind of thinking the water must have boiled over 100°c for those tiles to get wet.

I left the kitchen and I went to the bedroom when I got to the bedroom I saw some trashes she left undisposed and I was irritated and I decided to go and disposed them but when I got to our refuse bin I saw a fresh egg shells and some fresh noodles' pieces, I was kind of confused that which of my neighbors would have left his/her waste bin and come to used mine. Yet, I never thought too much because I knew it was my girlfriend, maybe she just wants to pull my legs that was why she lied at first, I concluded.

When I got inside I found her inside the bedroom, she's done washing plates, then I put it to her jokingly "babe next time you cook noodles and eggs make sure you dispose the nylons properly because you didn't do it well today." As if I ignited a flame she took it up with me angrily that why should I be saying that, that she never cooked anything since morning and I was accusing her wrongly....bla..bla..bla..bla... And she acted so real and dry like as if truly she didn't cook.

Mind you, that she cooked wasn't my problem, why would I get disturbed that my girlfriend cooked and ate in my house? But every evidences I was seeing were making me to ask her if truly she cooked but she kept denying and not that I got angry at this point.

I told her to forget about everything that not that I'm suspecting her but I just felt all what I have been seeing showed me that you cooked and not that I will kill you if you did. You're my woman why would you lied to me if you do things in my home. We shut the chapter and everyone was fine.

After like 5 minutes I went to the kitchen to cook beans, personally I don't like it when my gas cooker is dirty but my girl is a messy lady she doesn't care and I have been fighting over this on how to sort her out. I decided to clean the gas cooker and immediately as I raised the stand I saw enough fresh noodles at the angle corners of the gas Cylinder. I stood up and gave it a thought. After, I decided to show her so that she would not deny it. I called her to come to the kitchen and when she got to the kitchen I showed her and she could not say anything.

Then I asked her "as little as cooking noodles and you lied. Why did you lie on this very little matter? Why babe? " Not that that I will quarrel with you why you cooked and eat. Why? When I was coming from the studio I have already bought things that we are going to eat. Why such a big denial and lie on a little matter? Why?

Pls Nairaland I suggested this is one of the RED FLAGS. Isn't it? Pls advice.

Red flag to stupor!!

I wonder what her intentions are

guy na normal tin

khalids:
You have no morals...
All this talk is just nonsense...

A naija man talking of morals? Lol.

Ayomide11111:
Should I consider what happened yesterday? Nairaland pls advice.

I came back from the studio yesterday's afternoon and I met my girlfriend in my house, yes she has one of my spare keys, I entered the house and I went straight to the kitchen.

I met her washing plates in the kitchen and I greeted her that she has done well but when I was about to leave the kitchen I observed that the kitchen walls were wet because anytime you cook in my kitchen the tiles on the walls gets wet due to the heat. Then, I asked her "babe what did you cook?" She said nothing that she only boiled water. I believed her and I did not suspect her because of the response but I was kind of thinking the water must have boiled over 100°c for those tiles to get wet.

I left the kitchen and I went to the bedroom when I got to the bedroom I saw some trashes she left undisposed and I was irritated and I decided to go and disposed them but when I got to our refuse bin I saw a fresh egg shells and some fresh noodles' pieces, I was kind of confused that which of my neighbors would have left his/her waste bin and come to used mine. Yet, I never thought too much because I knew it was my girlfriend, maybe she just wants to pull my legs that was why she lied at first, I concluded.

When I got inside I found her inside the bedroom, she's done washing plates, then I put it to her jokingly "babe next time you cook noodles and eggs make sure you dispose the nylons properly because you didn't do it well today." As if I ignited a flame she took it up with me angrily that why should I be saying that, that she never cooked anything since morning and I was accusing her wrongly....bla..bla..bla..bla... And she acted so real and dry like as if truly she didn't cook.

Mind you, that she cooked wasn't my problem, why would I get disturbed that my girlfriend cooked and ate in my house? But every evidences I was seeing were making me to ask her if truly she cooked but she kept denying and not that I got angry at this point.

I told her to forget about everything that not that I'm suspecting her but I just felt all what I have been seeing showed me that you cooked and not that I will kill you if you did. You're my woman why would you lied to me if you do things in my home. We shut the chapter and everyone was fine.

After like 5 minutes I went to the kitchen to cook beans, personally I don't like it when my gas cooker is dirty but my girl is a messy lady she doesn't care and I have been fighting over this on how to sort her out. I decided to clean the gas cooker and immediately as I raised the stand I saw enough fresh noodles at the angle corners of the gas Cylinder. I stood up and gave it a thought. After, I decided to show her so that she would not deny it. I called her to come to the kitchen and when she got to the kitchen I showed her and she could not say anything.

Then I asked her "as little as cooking noodles and you lied. Why did you lie on this very little matter? Why babe? " Not that that I will quarrel with you why you cooked and eat. Why? When I was coming from the studio I have already bought things that we are going to eat. Why such a big denial and lie on a little matter? Why?

Pls Nairaland I suggested this is one of the RED FLAGS. Isn't it? Pls advice.

Every story has three sides:
The accuser's,
The accused's, and
The true story.

So until I hear the accused's side, and then decipher the true story, before I give any advise.


But note this, truth is one of the most important criteria for any serious relationship.
In fact, if any trace of lie is discovered after the wedding, the marriage can be nullified, according to the church -Catholic precisely- and the court, I don't really know about Islam.
This is to tell you how important truth is.

Tightpussy2024:
A naija man talking of morals? Lol.

Take it whichever way you want, I have said my bit...

finallybusy:
All this write-up on top noodles. My friend, it seems you’re better off single.

Guyman turn FBI cos of indomie as liru as indomie ...Omo, country hard tho, can't blame him...These are the kind of guys that will check and count the meat or fish in the soup before jetting out to work!!


Single ladies, stay sharp!

N:b I do not justify the ladies act of lieing , cos it's totally nasty to lie as such..

LilMissFavvy:
Why did you ask her repeatedly if she cooked? According to you, you bought food items so as to cook, so when she said she didn't cook, why did you keep asking. Did you expect her to stay without eating? You even went to the waste bin to check, checked the kitchen, checked the gas, you are a very stingy man. When you leave her and start dating a new lady, remember to come back here and give us update/complaint of what your new woman does, because you sound very stingy and follow up tiny things which shouldn't matter.

We still have people with critical reasoning!
Thank you!

BelieveAfrica:
For a guy seeking to marry, you are too clinical. And it seems to me that you are 'majoring' on minor.
Ask yourself why would someone, not even your girlfriend, would come into your house cook noodles and want to deny?
Your investigation extended to checking for crumbs of Noodles on top gas cylinder. And to make matter worse, you are asking if that's red flag? So you will make a long life decision base on Noodles that was cooked?
So if she had own up, you would have given her pass mark?
Incredible!
Whoever tells you, one day you will marry holy Mary is deceiving you. The issue is so inconsequential to even consider, except you are looking for an alibi to dump her!
Goodluck.

Thank you!!
He did all these to a lady he willingly gave a spare key to?
To each his own.

She will continually lie to you as your relationship progress, run from her, end the relationship before you find yourself deep in loving her and then it will be difficult to pull off.

Not a red flag. But a Yellow flag.

NonsenseRubbish:
Wow.. just wow. Reasons she lied ?? A lie is a lie. At least you accept she’s a liar.
1- You obviously don’t pay bills or/and take care of a family,bf/gf. In this current economy we find ourselves wastage cannot be condoned if it keeps happening.
2. Stingy? How? She has access to his house and wallet. And he still tries to provide
3. It’s his house. It’s a simple observation. He knows when someone has cooked in the kitchen. You should know if someone has laid on a bed you dressed yourself right ?
4. She’s not free in his house ?? She has a freaking key to his house and goes there when he’s not even home. How much freedom do you need please ? 😂 she’s just a liar abeg
5. He obviously values cleanliness in his house. It’s only right he tries to instill the same values in her as well. And like the OP said she isn’t a tidy person to begin with.
But you are still here looking for flaws. You are a very manipulative person and it’s disgusting.
The guy will have his own personal flaws because I’m sure he’s not perfect himself but don’t give reasons for lying and try to turn tables

Imagine saying all these trash when you’re not even the one who made the post. If he wants someone tidy he should stop stressing her and probably the two of you can make a good couple. Radarada

NonsenseRubbish:
I don’t think he’s lost interest. The whole situation just has him perplexed. It was an unnecessary lie. My advice is to have a heart to heart with her reassuring her she doesn’t need to tell petty lies because they can lead to big lies and eventual break of trust.
But to be honest little lies lead to big lies. It is a red flag sha 🤔

your Monica? Should I say this is nonsenseRubbish? Lol

debbydams:
your Monica? Should I say this is nonsenseRubbish? Lol

It’s Moniker Lol and that’s my own piece of advice tho.
I remember when I used to tell those petty lies to my partner back then. (I would be somewhere and tell my partner I was somewhere else or on my way back when I hadn’t left my location yet, or say I hadn’t eaten when I had eaten out, etc) my spouse sat me down and told me there was no need for all that and it will only lead to telling bigger lies and break of trust. I felt embarrassed but felt more love and respect for my partner. You understand the nonsenserubbish better now ??

NonsenseRubbish:
It’s Moniker Lol and that’s my own piece of advice tho.
I remember when I used to tell those petty lies to my partner back then. (I would be somewhere and tell my partner I was somewhere else or on my way back when I hadn’t left my location yet, or say I hadn’t eaten when I had eaten out, etc) my spouse sat me down and told me there was no need for all that and it will only lead to telling bigger lies and break of trust. I felt embarrassed but felt more love and respect for my partner. You understand the nonsenserubbish better now ??

lol yes

As glaring as it turns out to be, take a flight cos you ought to be.

Tightpussy2024:
If you are not a difficult person ,people will not lie to you. There are liars that are manipulators,narcissists and they are liars that just want peace and hate confrontation. Over defensiveness could be a sign you are dealing with a komodo dragon
I bet it to you that he has some underlying issue with this woman,not these. He used the word, "evidence". Meaning he has been looking for opportunity to fault her.. then bringing it here. Even Joseph in the bible,when he thought Mary committed adultery tried to do away with her quietly.

A man presence in a woman life is to cover her shame,security,and save her. But we have men boys exposing women to ridicule day by day.

your points are just plain, I admire your confidence, especially in what you believe, but what did you hear about 2 parallel lines?

Tightpussy2024:
Hustle as a man sha,make your daughter no hide cook noodles with one boiled egg. There is actually no benefit in marrying men of this generation.how can a woman look up to you,as her God on earth then you look up to ediots on internet for every damn thing. You report her when a gust of wind touch you. No wonder respecting you all is very difficult and you attract the disdain and reproach you get . If it's not creating trolling threads, it's seeking advice from kangaroo courts or creating fake topics. And you wonder why masculine authority is ridiculed now.Keep disgracing yourself online.our forefathers killed mamoths and wild beasts to find our fore mothers. A young lady has to lie about indomie and one egg out of fear of you. Keep zuzuing online

Simply because a woman lied? The question is: why did she lie? OP was not against her cooking and eating, but why lie? Yes, it is ordinary indomie, but why the lie? We have even set aside the being messy in the kitchen.

The thing is, people should know their partners very well before entering a relationship. It is the reason I am an advocate of being friends before lovers. I don't like people who lie and do so brazenly.

bluefilm:
I hate lies. Especially, petty lies and most especially where and when it is not necessary at all

Definitely, a red flag for me

So do I. Just don't lie. Tell me exactly what happened. How can I trust bigger things with someone who lies openly about indomie?

P.S. Your signature is also apt, and I love them for that. Again, the concept of honesty. Be open and straightforward. State things the way they are.

NonsenseRubbish:
I don’t think he’s lost interest. The whole situation just has him perplexed. It was an unnecessary lie. My advice is to have a heart to heart with her reassuring her she doesn’t need to tell petty lies because they can lead to big lies and eventual break of trust.
But to be honest little lies lead to big lies. It is a red flag sha 🤔

cc: Tightpussy2024

This is it, and I bet the person behind the moniker is a female just as you are. People should be open to their partners especially if they intend to get married. Small lies lead to bigger lies, the very reason lies should not be condoned in the beginning. I have serious issues with people who lie, no matter how small. I will not forget that lie and hold it going forward in my relations with the person.

LilMissFavvy:
Why did you ask her repeatedly if she cooked? According to you, you bought food items so as to cook, so when she said she didn't cook, why did you keep asking. Did you expect her to stay without eating? You even went to the waste bin to check, checked the kitchen, checked the gas, you are a very stingy man. When you leave her and start dating a new lady, remember to come back here and give us update/complaint of what your new woman does, because you sound very stingy and follow up tiny things which shouldn't matter.

We read the same story. He does not expect her to be hungry, but why did she lie that she did not cook or eat? That is the problem. Also, the kitchen was messy. Goes to show that the lady is not an intelligent liar - another reason she should not have lied.

I think many respondents here are used to their partners lying to them or they being liars. Well, some of us aren't. We state things the way they are and have a free mind.

Upbringing matters a lot sha in a human being's life.

Gerrard59:
cc: Tightpussy2024

This is it, and I bet the person behind the moniker is a female just as you are. People should be open to their partners especially if they intend to get married. Small lies lead to bigger lies, the very reason lies should not be condoned in the beginning. I have serious issues with people who lie, no matter how small. I will not forget that lie and hold it going forward in my relations with the person.

I have actually quite this forum ( sadly seun barred the deactivation option) but I came to reply you.

He used the word "evidence" and used the word "investigation" . Such heavy words,shows he has been searching for reason to leave her and/or is a difficult person. His type will know how many indomie is in a carton or number of eggs in crate. I am sure he checked the garbage can for eggshells. He shouldn't label her a liar but introspect if he has made her feel uneasy or fearful first
I support him leaving her if his heart is not at peace,

Tightpussy2024:
I have actually quite this forum ( sadly seun barred the deactivation option) but I came to reply you.

Why have you decided to quit the forum? Because of the "toxicity" of the comments? This is how Nigerians behave o. It's not the lovey-dovey and out-of-touch scene as on reddit/Nigeria.

He used the word "evidence" and used the word "investigation" . Such heavy words,shows he has been searching for reason to leave her and/or is a difficult person. His type will know how many indomie is in a carton or number of eggs in crate. I am sure he checked the garbage can for eggshells. He shouldn't label her a liar but introspect if he has made her feel uneasy or fearful first

To be honest though, I'm like OP. So I understand the kind of person he's.

I have no issues with my woman eating, but she shouldn't distort the information when asked.

Gerrard59:
Why have you decided to quit the forum? Because of the "toxicity" of the comments? This is how Nigerians behave o. It's not the lovey-dovey and out-of-touch scene as on reddit/Nigeria.


To be honest though, I'm like OP. So I understand the kind of person he's.

I have no issues with my woman eating, but she shouldn't distort the information when asked.

Very few Nigerians are worth respecting then, if this is the actual representation of their thoughts process and not just trolling. And they deserve the reproach they get from the entire world. I will not blame people that see them as inferior.

Well,if you aren't the person that will make people feel so uneasy, trembling by your presence,grumbling/murmuring,finger-pointing, and put people on hot seat then it's safe to call them liars. But if you are one/multiple of all I listed,then it's unfair to label them liars. Op in his heart of heart should know the category he belongs to.

Some people are questioning why the guy would repeatedly want to know if the girl cooked. Well, that's his house and I think he needs to know what is happening.
I know of a truth that some men are stingy but they are stingy for their property, their stuffs. Women are more stingy to the people they don't love sha.
I was having issues with a certain lady and she wanted us settled. She came to me when I was with a neighbor. When she came, she looked at my neighbor and called her Mark. Mark is the reason for our misunderstanding. When I asked her if Joyce was Mark, she told me to my face that she never called Joyce Mark. I was confused, so confused I began to ask myself if truly I heard her right. After some days, she came back still met Joyce and called her Mark. This time around, she couldn't deny because I immediately called Joyce Mark too. But then, she now said she's sorry and it's now Joyce Mark.
A lot of the time, women deny for no reason, thinking that they are smarter.

Tightpussy2024:
Very few Nigerians are worth respecting then, if this is the actual representation of their thoughts process and not just trolling. And they deserve the reproach they get from the entire world. I will not blame people that see them as inferior.

Well,if you aren't the person that will make people feel so uneasy, trembling by your presence,grumbling/murmuring,finger-pointing, and put people on hot seat then it's safe to call them liars. But if you are one/multiple of all I listed,then it's unfair to label them liars. Op in his heart of heart should know the category he belongs to.

We agree on one thing then. But for real, how Nairalanders behave is how the average Nigerian behaves. It also happens on Twitter notwithstanding the intellectshualism. Haven't you seen how political office holders dish out statements and interviews? Where do they come from? Fellow Nigerians. Nigerians are not intelligent people. That is a lie that has gone too far.

Daptboy:
Seems this gender never ceases to amaze me... They just keep doing things that make us go 'ugh' or 'yuck'

In addition to what the OP said above lemme share how a simple lie can be so damaging..

One of my exes (we still dae smash though) she came around to the area.. Me been an indoor guy I heard her voice so I was like expecting her to knock and greet as customary.. She didn't..

Her friend lives in the same compound as I do... After a while I didn't see her nor hear from her... I then chatted madam, 'Afa you reach area you no come greet me sef'

Madam said 'I no reach area today o' I was shocked, shay my eyes dae deceive me ne?? So I stepped out to ask her friend who confirmed that madam was indeed around cos they were together..

I then told madam that 'your friend confirmed your presence yesterday,' madam said she wasn't around that she didn't 'reach that side' according to her..

I then called her a 'stupid liar' madam then left the main topic and focused on the 'stupid liar' that I called her..

You know women nau when you start dropping points they'll leave the main topic and focus on one insult you made or something that's not even in the topic on ground...

Madam later said '' I don't have anything to say' all the while claiming she wasn't wrong... Can you see how dumb she was??

Did you do this?? A simple yes/no would suffice... Why the blow up?? Why the sudden anger outburst??

Whats indomie and egg that you'd lie about?? What?? Hisses..

A creature that was created when we were unconscious, there's no way we can understand them bro.... But we can still show them who's boss..

That's women bro... Nothing upstairs..
Just salt water and toothpaste dazoll....

Women---the whole gender---has no intrinsic hold on truth. That is to say, the principle of truth has no worth in their psyches irrespective of what they might tell men (or themselves). It's one of the traits that distinguishs men & women.
Because they have no hold on the truth, lies also lose its significance. That's why they can freely move between truth or lie at any moment, to any degree, if they feel like it.

And you right with that last sentence. Their minds are like outer space: every few billion miles you might come across an asteroid, but everything in between is just empty.