₦airaland Forum

Offpoint1:
Read my comment again slowly... Summary is ONLY MEN LOVE, women are in for benefits.

ForUrgentSale:
I've removed every thought of marriage or having kids from my mind. I just want to live whatever time I have left and leave this wicked world. I don't care about legacies anymore

Solcampbell:
Bro, how do I go about this?

I'll be 30 next year and I just got admission to study medicine and surgery in a Fed. University after completing my studies some five years ago.

That means I'll be a doctor in the next seven years, all things been equal, (in the absence of strikes and all). I'll be around 37 years at the time.



Since the course is very demanding and don't require distractions and also couple with the fact that I'm not that financially bouyant. Also considering the kind of young ladies we have today, it's difficult to find a lady whose understanding and supportive. And I need all the focus and attention I could get while pursuing my dream. Initially I've been thinking of getting married in my level two or three, but I'm now begining to have serious second thoughts and postpone marriage till I finish my program.

Buuuutttt! I really love children!

And I think seven years is too long a wait to have my own.

Even though na just one pikin i get for now from now till when i graduate, I swear e go sweet me die!

Infact my child will give me more motivation to continue to push harder no matter the obstacles towards the realisation of my dreams, since I'm doing the family I'll raise in the future.

But the problem is I don't even have a girlfriend. Infact, I'm still a virgin.


I live in a very conservative society ( core north). You can't just be moving around or dating a girl or sleeping with her. You must marry her first.

As the matter be like this, I no get money for marriage talk more of getting stuck with a lady whose not working or running a business, a lady who will sit at home waiting for the man to fulfil all her financial needs, even
though na Maggi she wan buy. ( Most northern women are like this)


But I can definitely take care of one or two kids while I continue schooling. I have a side hustle ( freelance writing). It is from this hustle that I've been saving for my studies and I believe from it I can still provide for my kid from now till the next seven years.

Abeg Boss, you know where I fit find such ladies or how I can be connected to such ladies that her and her parents can agree to such an arrangement even though she lives in another state in the south?
I"m a man that keeps to my word and I'll definitely not abandon my responsibilities to her.

Infact, if i get a really good lady that really did a good job in raising my kid , I wouldn't hesitate to marry her after graduation from med. school

PS. I'm not an Hausa man, I'm an Edo Muslim who's very liberal.

Cute9gerian:
It’s because marriage today especially monogamy is a scam.Marriage will only make sense when polygamy is embraced just the way our ancestors practiced it.

ForUrgentSale:
I've removed every thought of marriage or having kids from my mind. I just want to live whatever time I have left and leave this wicked world. I don't care about legacies anymore

ForUrgentSale:
I've removed every thought of marriage or having kids from my mind. I just want to live whatever time I have left and leave this wicked world. I don't care about legacies anymore

seunoladele:
© Seun Oladele, 2024.
talktoseunoladele@gmail.com
Facebook: Seun Oladele

Solcampbell:
Bro, how do I go about this?

I'll be 30 next year and I just got admission to study medicine and surgery in a Fed. University after completing my studies some five years ago.

That means I'll be a doctor in the next seven years, all things been equal, (in the absence of strikes and all). I'll be around 37 years at the time.



Since the course is very demanding and don't require distractions and also couple with the fact that I'm not that financially bouyant. Also considering the kind of young ladies we have today, it's difficult to find a lady whose understanding and supportive. And I need all the focus and attention I could get while pursuing my dream. Initially I've been thinking of getting married in my level two or three, but I'm now begining to have serious second thoughts and postpone marriage till I finish my program.

Buuuutttt! I really love children!

And I think seven years is too long a wait to have my own.

Even though na just one pikin i get for now from now till when i graduate, I swear e go sweet me die!

Infact my child will give me more motivation to continue to push harder no matter the obstacles towards the realisation of my dreams, since I'm doing the family I'll raise in the future.

But the problem is I don't even have a girlfriend. Infact, I'm still a virgin.


I live in a very conservative society ( core north). You can't just be moving around or dating a girl or sleeping with her. You must marry her first.

As the matter be like this, I no get money for marriage talk more of getting stuck with a lady whose not working or running a business, a lady who will sit at home waiting for the man to fulfil all her financial needs, even
though na Maggi she wan buy. ( Most northern women are like this)


But I can definitely take care of one or two kids while I continue schooling. I have a side hustle ( freelance writing). It is from this hustle that I've been saving for my studies and I believe from it I can still provide for my kid from now till the next seven years.

Abeg Boss, you know where I fit find such ladies or how I can be connected to such ladies that her and her parents can agree to such an arrangement even though she lives in another state in the south?
I"m a man that keeps to my word and I'll definitely not abandon my responsibilities to her.

Infact, if i get a really good lady that really did a good job in raising my kid , I wouldn't hesitate to marry her after graduation from med. school

PS. I'm not an Hausa man, I'm an Edo Muslim who's very liberal.

Do not take that guy for his words. It does not work that way. You can't just impregnate a woman just like that besides a woman can only keep a pregnancy she wants to keep if and only if she wants to keep it for you and not because you think you outsmarted her by impregnating her.
As for you, you need to build a relationship first and win your woman's heart over before she can go into that with you. She has to have the capacity to understand and persevere in order to work things with you because she's the sole determinant of the success of your plan.
Nevertheless, I want to ask for link to these freelance writing jobs. If you can help with any, I will appreciate

jeff1993:
To any young man out there please dont listen to this stupid advice!!!

If any girl tells u that let's marry first and we will manage together, my GUY FLEE!!!! FLEE with all your might cos na marriage be her ultimate. After marriage then u will see her true color.

If as a man u dont have money, just look for a lady and impregnate her and make her a baby mama and try to take care of your child.

Haydens:
Marriage in this generation is a scam. Every woman is always using a man in one way or the other if the man is not wise, check it out, if she's not using you as an attention giver she's using u as an emotional tampon or she's using you as a financial mugu or shes keeping you incase if her now boyfriend doesn't later marry her, or she's keeping you as her second option or she's using you to pass through life e.g exam success, promotion, finances or she's keeping you as a free food man especially when she's hungry then she'll remember you or she's keeping you as her status viewer e.t.c the list goes on and on.

If you know about women nature you won't like them neither will you hate them rather you'll remain indifference. They don't love rather they are pure opportunists. Every women that have existed on this planet earth are opportunists, they can't love and dont know how to do it. What's happening in the west gives a perfect definition of how women are opportunists i.e marry a rich man or a celebrity then divorce him in a few months or years then claim half of his properties and monthly allowance that she didn't suffer with him for when he was struggling.

The only love that women have is SELFISH-LOVE.


Finally, You can't be wise and be in love at the same time.

Haydens:
Marriage in this generation is a scam. Every woman is always using a man in one way or the other if the man is not wise, check it out, if she's not using you as an attention giver she's using u as an emotional tampon or she's using you as a financial mugu or shes keeping you incase if her now boyfriend doesn't later marry her, or she's keeping you as her second option or she's using you to pass through life e.g exam success, promotion, finances or she's keeping you as a free food man especially when she's hungry then she'll remember you or she's keeping you as her status viewer e.t.c the list goes on and on.

If you know about women nature you won't like them neither will you hate them rather you'll remain indifference. They don't love rather they are pure opportunists. Every women that have existed on this planet earth are opportunists, they can't love and dont know how to do it. What's happening in the west gives a perfect definition of how women are opportunists i.e marry a rich man or a celebrity then divorce him in a few months or years then claim half of his properties and monthly allowance that she didn't suffer with him for when he was struggling.

The only love that women have is SELFISH-LOVE.


Finally, You can't be wise and be in love at the same time.

Joybeau:
You never take care of one woman and her children finish nah multiple women with their children you wan take care of inside this economy. How does this your comment make sense to you

ForUrgentSale:
I've removed every thought of marriage or having kids from my mind. I just want to live whatever time I have left and leave this wicked world. I don't care about legacies anymore

DevilsEqual:
How do you ask a Nigerian lady out when you have nothing?



Women these days have evolved beyond that. If you no get money, you no go fit even meet the kinda girl wey you like sef...Life go dey throw rubbish women with terrible looks come your way

I get the message tho. And yea, we no dey use money run woman

ForUrgentSale:
I've removed every thought of marriage or having kids from my mind. I just want to live whatever time I have left and leave this wicked world. I don't care about legacies anymore

Emagy:
this marriage of a thing have expired no more love again everybody is after money, me I use my money to nourish my self I don't bother about married or having kids because my country has turn to hell

ForUrgentSale:
I've removed every thought of marriage or having kids from my mind. I just want to live whatever time I have left and leave this wicked world. I don't care about legacies anymore

ednut1:
The economy is so bad that rich and comfortable are having 3-4 side chicks . While the average man without money or looks stick to olosho, masturbation or naive young girls 😭

Hotspurs:
are sidechicks not olosho

ednut1:
no and yes

Solcampbell:
se is very demanding and don't require distractions and also couple with the fact that I'm not that financially bouyant. Also considering the kind of young ladies we have today, it's difficult to find a lady whose understanding and supportive. And I need all the focus and attention I could get while pursuing my dream. Initially I've been thinking of getting married in my level two or three, but I'm now begining to have serio whose not working or running a business, a lady who will sit at home waiting for the man to fulfil all her financial needs, even though na Maggi she wan buy. ( Most northern women are like this)
But I can definitely take care of one or two kids while I continue schooling. I have a side hustle ( freelance writing). It is from this hustle that I've been saving for my studies and I believe from it I can still provide for my kid from now till the next seven years.


PS. I'm not an Hausa man, I'm an Edo Muslim who's very liberal.

Gerrard59:
I am quite interested in your case as life has made me see things from both sides of the divide in Nigeria - the haves and the haves not. First, I would advise you - man-to-man - to focus on your medical program as it is very demanding intellectually, financially and otherwise. You need to be prepared for the journey ahead it will take your entire body and soul. Your financial stability as a man is extremely important in how you are seen in society. Good thing you are studying a course with almost guaranteed employment, especially in the north. So, age does not really matter.

As for marriage and children, as much as these things are good in life, in today's world, money is extremely useful to enjoy them. It would be hard to navigate your medical program, wife and children without a consistent flow of income especially at a mature age. You might be worried about when you graduate centris-paribus, but I don't see any worry in that as your speciality is future-proof regardless of age and you will always find a much younger woman to pair with due to location. Most importantly, have fewer children so you have the time to cater for them adequately. No go born plenty children o. As for location, not only due to religious compatibility but cultural reasons as well, I strongly recommend that you focus on the northern region for a wife. You will have a hard time adjusting to the requests and life of a lady from the south, Christian or Muslim. Since you are liberal, how about Northern Christians?

As for the bolded text, do Northern Christian women behave like that with their men? That is, dem dey wait for the man to reach house before dem buy maggi?

Solcampbell:
Bro, how do I go about this?

I'll be 30 next year and I just got admission to study medicine and surgery in a Fed. University after completing my studies some five years ago.

That means I'll be a doctor in the next seven years, all things been equal, (in the absence of strikes and all). I'll be around 37 years at the time.



Since the course is very demanding and don't require distractions and also couple with the fact that I'm not that financially bouyant. Also considering the kind of young ladies we have today, it's difficult to find a lady whose understanding and supportive. And I need all the focus and attention I could get while pursuing my dream. Initially I've been thinking of getting married in my level two or three, but I'm now begining to have serious second thoughts and postpone marriage till I finish my program.

Buuuutttt! I really love children!

And I think seven years is too long a wait to have my own.

Even though na just one pikin i get for now from now till when i graduate, I swear e go sweet me die!

Infact my child will give me more motivation to continue to push harder no matter the obstacles towards the realisation of my dreams, since I'm doing the family I'll raise in the future.

But the problem is I don't even have a girlfriend. Infact, I'm still a virgin.


I live in a very conservative society ( core north). You can't just be moving around or dating a girl or sleeping with her. You must marry her first.

As the matter be like this, I no get money for marriage talk more of getting stuck with a lady whose not working or running a business, a lady who will sit at home waiting for the man to fulfil all her financial needs, even
though na Maggi she wan buy. ( Most northern women are like this)


But I can definitely take care of one or two kids while I continue schooling. I have a side hustle ( freelance writing). It is from this hustle that I've been saving for my studies and I believe from it I can still provide for my kid from now till the next seven years.

Abeg Boss, you know where I fit find such ladies or how I can be connected to such ladies that her and her parents can agree to such an arrangement even though she lives in another state in the south?
I"m a man that keeps to my word and I'll definitely not abandon my responsibilities to her.

Infact, if i get a really good lady that really did a good job in raising my kid , I wouldn't hesitate to marry her after graduation from med. school

PS. I'm not an Hausa man, I'm an Edo Muslim who's very liberal.

Jman06:
If you know what's good for you, perish that marriage thought for now and concentrate on your studies. The pressure in medical school in Nigeria is not something you can combine with having a family, unless you want to get booted out of medical school.

You can marry and have your kids when you graduate

Solcampbell:
I reflected on all what you said yesterday, sir. And honestly the picture has become clearer for me. From all what you said, I would make sure I pair up with a lady who has something doing, even though she's a secondary school teacher or a petty trader. Or a lady who have completed or about to complete are tertiary education.

I would also consider the other option as per looking out for a northern non Muslim. Atleast thier parents allow them to work as they search for a partner. Thanks alot for this advise, Boss.

Solcampbell:
a lady who will sit at home waiting for the man to fulfil all her financial needs, even
though na Maggi she wan buy. ( Most northern women are like this