₦airaland Forum

Lady reveals why ‘a lot’ of Nigerian nurses in America are single mothers.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmcy9JKTeAg?si=_wIo3Zpe0Lbnx0Ix

Hmm 🤔 nAwaooo. Single mums are much rampant in our society. Some is been caused by generational curses, some is been caused by self willingness to do it. Our society is blinking

Hope for the Single Parent: How to Overcome Your Biggest Challenges

If you are a single parent, you may need to know something: you have the hardest job in the world. You have to meet all the needs of your kid, over many years, without the help of a spouse. Some of my closest friends are single parents, and my heart breaks with theirs when they encounter the rough years of parenting. Single parenting can sometimes be brutal and overwhelming. That's why it's important to discuss boundaries for single parents.

Many of my friends have also found the balance and resources they need, and they are experiencing success as parents. Their children and teens are doing well and are maturing at the right rate. So there is hope for you as well.

Let's look at some of the biggest struggles single parents face and explore what you can do to meet those challenges:

Single Parent Challenge #1 - Not Enough of You

Single parents have to do the work of two parents, yet they have more limited resources than two-parent families, both in quantity and in ability. This limitation becomes more of a challenge when your kids are teenagers. They push against your authority and limits and assert their freedom in a million ways.

Parents who have a spouse can hand off their teen to the other parent when they are feeling worn out. My wife and I do this all the time. But you can't do this as a single parent. If your teen doesn't let up on you, you don't get a chance to rest and regroup. This can be exhausting, and it's easy to feel you don't have any strength left inside to resist your kid's resistance.

What can you do? The answer isn't trying harder, or using your will power. Instead, realize that you don't have what you don't have. You will need to get from the outside what you don't possess on the inside. You need to do this for your kid, and for yourself as well. Call a safe and sane friend and get your emotional tank filled, and then enter the ring again and resolve the issue.

It's tempting for single parents to think, I am so tired. I just don't have it in me to spend a lot of time talking with my kid. Besides, he's almost an adult anyway, so he probably doesn't even need a lot of me. While your teen is almost an adult, he still needs bonding time with you in order for him to feel safe and loved and to help him sort out the vagaries of teen life. So get some strength from others, so that you can stay attached to your teen.

Keep in mind that you may need to ask another adult, such as a mature friend, youth pastor, or counselor, to intervene. Your teen may be able to hear things from this other person that he refuses to hear from you. Regardless, get connected.

Single Parent Challenge #2 - Rescuing Your Kids From Failure

I recently asked a single mom who is a good friend of mine, "What do you think is the biggest mistake single parents make?" Without hesitating, she said, "Not allowing their kids to fail."

My friend was talking about rescuing young kids and teens from experiencing their consequences. Parents who rescue their adolescents often do so out of guilt. They already feel bad about their kid's situation, and often feel partially responsible that their child doesn't have two parents in the home.

As a result, single parents often indulge their teen and don't enforce the consequences that should come with attitude and behavior violations. They think, My teen already has a strike against her. I'll make it up to her a little by being easy on her. However, this "solution" doesn't solve the problem; it merely creates a second problem. Not only does the teen have to struggle with a broken home, it's likely she will never develop any self-control. Kids from a single-parent family need limits just as much as any kid does.

Surround yourself with guilt-busters—that is, friends who will support you when your emotions tell you you're being too mean. Cry on their shoulder, allow them to give you a reality check, and let them encourage you to love your teen and still hold the line.

I have a single-parent friend who always felt guilty whenever she grounded or took privileges away from her teens. But her kids have grown up, and they have come back to her and said, "Thanks for being strict, Mom. That's why I can keep my own marriage and job together."

Single Parent Challenge #3 - Parenting Differences With Your Ex

Many divorced parents differ in their parenting values. Often, a parent will notice that the child has a bad attitude or misbehaves after she has spent some time with the other parent. You can attribute some of that to the teen trying to adjust and transition between two worlds, and she needs your support and patience on that. But it may also be that your ex is not providing enough structure and consistent limits.

If this is your situation, do all you can to get your ex to agree to put your kid first and to come to an agreement on parenting values and styles. If your teen's well-being is in jeopardy, you may even have to go the legal route for his protection.

If you see some negative effects when your teen spends time with your ex, but they aren't serious enough for you to take legal action, then be the best parent you can be. Be balanced and integrated with love and boundaries. If your ex is a Disneyland parent, don't be the hardnose, hoping to compensate. Your teen needs to be around someone whom she can take inside of herself, who is a picture of maturity, grace, and truth. Don't try to get even with your ex. Get healthy.

Single Parent Challenge #4 - Asking for Help

Finally, don't try to be strong and go it alone. Ask for help from your kid's school, your church, and your friends. Single parents need more help, and they should get more.

God has a special place for you and your children. In Psalm 68:5, King David wrote about how much God wants to provide for kids who don't have both parents around: "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." Ask God for help, and He will give it to you.



Taken from Boundaries with Teens by Dr. John Townsend. In his book, you will find a lot more information for single parents, including a separate chapter dedicated to step-parenting.


https://www.boundariesbooks.com/blogs/boundaries-blog/hope-for-the-single-parent-how-to-overcome-your-biggest-challenges

In Nigeria, 95% of our women are single mothers. It's either they're single mothers of living children or single mothers to dead children (abortions). I'm in a good mood today and patriotic, hence I'm saying 95%, but we know the actual figure. If you didn't meet her as a virgin, there's 98% chances that she's a mother to one of the aforementioned categories.
What do I even know sef aside enlightening my fellow men nationwide with the good news

Lalami3232:
In Nigeria, 95% of our women are single mothers. It's either they're single mothers of living children or single mothers to dead children (abortions). I'm in a good mood today and patriotic, hence I'm saying 95%, but we know the actual figure. If you didn't meet her as a virgin, there's 98% chances that she's a mother to one of the aforementioned categories.
What do I even know sef aside enlightening my fellow men nationwide with the good news

95% keee. That one no true. You can say 50% of women in Nigeria 🇳🇬 today and single mums

Nlfpmod Barr fergie001 fp

What of single fathers

She nailed it.
Same story, Same people Always!
Of all the states, Avoid Texas if you want your marriage to work in the USA, even the Police will warn you to avoid Texas.
Texas Nigerian women will make your wife feel like you guys are not doing fine.
Meanwhile Texas is not a flamboyantly Rich state in America, yet we no go hear word.

Most marriage related deaths occur in Texas.
Atlanta is doing tutorials in the hands of Texas.
Even Pastors have barred some of these women from Holy communion. It's easier to sleep with women of every category in the United States as a Jobless man and get paid than sleep with same women in Nigeria as an employed man.

It's in the US, you will see a woman completely divorce her husband to end up a sidechic to another married man for years.

Women are so ungrateful, if you like sponsor her to heaven, she can still tell God to lock the heaven gates against you.

Understanding this will help you plan better.

chai

Obakoolex:
What of single fathers

single fathers aren’t much compared to single mums

True. I know a number of them. You can never know the real character of your wife until after she relocates with you overseas. Many of them copy the western ladies who don't even have a culture, those who have children like dogs for several men. They always don't enjoy a happy home.

No single mum I met ever told me they're living happily as single mums. There's one of them, whose children always say they miss their dad and they'd like to see him. She always got angry hearing this. One day she agreed to take them to a meeting point with her ex. On getting to that place, she kept a distance and asked the children to go see their dad briefly and come back. She actually timed the meeting. When the time was almost up, she faced the wall and started crying uncontrollably cos of the bond between the children and their dad. They were gisting, cracking jokes and laughing aloud. Instead of 2 hours, these children spent 5 good hours with their dad. They didn't feel like leaving.

I told her to reconcile and seek a reunion but she's still doing shakara. She's a very successful nurse in a major hospital on 3rd avenue in NY. I won't mention the hospital. Whoever knows that place would know the hospital I'm talking about, built with red bricks with many floors. The man had moved on. As an aeronautical engineer, he's not doing badly too at Boeing. He got that job 1 year after the woman chased him out and took custody of the children. Amazingly, he's still single. I guess he's taking his time cos of the horrible experience

APOPTOSIS:
She nailed it.
Same story, Same people Always!
Of all the states, Avoid Texas if you want your marriage to work in the USA, even the Police will warn you to avoid Texas.
Texas Nigerian women will make your wife feel like you guys are not doing fine.
Meanwhile Texas is not a flamboyantly Rich state in America, yet we no go hear word.

Most marriage related deaths occur in Texas.
Atlanta is doing tutorials in the hands of Texas.
Even Pastors have barred some of these women from Holy communion. It's easier to sleep with women of every category in the United States as a Jobless man and get paid than sleep with same women in Nigeria as an employed man.

It's in the US, you will see a woman completely divorce her husband to end up a sidechic to another married man for years.

Texas is not rich? That's news to me.
A lot of the divorce are due to Nigerian men bringing these ladies to the US as financial security.
You will see a guy with very poor paying job go to Nigeria, bring a lady and push her into the nursing field. Later the lady will realize that she's worth a lot more than the guy driving cab ot Uber.
Women don't respect men that are of less worth than they are. Few ones don't mind but most women don't simply by nature.
Any little disagreement can lead to divorce.
Some women don't care. My sister has been the family main source of income in her household for decades and they are happily married. Most of the young ones now are the opposite.

dem nor KPAI anybody

In the 90s Nigerians used to mock Jamaicans and black Americans for being single mothers. Today we have become like them. God abeg

press9jatv:
Hmm 🤔 nAwaooo. Single mums are much rampant in our society. Some is been caused by generational curses, some is been caused by self willingness to do it. Our society is blinking

I have been telling ereluroz to allow that seed germinate when next she finds cum inside her kpekus but she will not hear.
It may be her only chance of owning a child.
babymama is her calling but she wants to loose the opportunity too

Interesting video. In the west, where the power dynamics tends to favor the woman, it takes a lot of discipline to keep a home.

Emmanuel909090:
Women are so ungrateful, if you like sponsor her to heaven, she can still tell God to lock the heaven gates against you.

Understanding this will help you plan better.

Omoh! Yhu get mid ooh!

Ok

Issues plenty

Issoright

See wetin Tinubu don cause. Eating Agbado for lunch

This is a lie

Lalami3232:
In Nigeria, 95% of our women are single mothers. It's either they're single mothers of living children or single mothers to dead children (abortions). I'm in a good mood today and patriotic, hence I'm saying 95%, but we know the actual figure. If you didn't meet her as a virgin, there's 98% chances that she's a mother to one of the aforementioned categories.
What do I even know sef aside enlightening my fellow men nationwide with the good news

Sengbo weyrey?

Na so I no like some professions especially for females!

Lots of adults still have a lot of growing up to do.

I dey happy say no be man dey talk about Nigerian women here. Na their fellow lady

B

I heard there's also Association of Nigerian divorce women in Abroad.

Let me japa and see my side it’s better to be a single mother in Texas than married in this tinubu economy

Lalami3232:
In Nigeria, 95% of our women are single mothers. It's either they're single mothers of living children or single mothers to dead children (abortions). I'm in a good mood today and patriotic, hence I'm saying 95%, but we know the actual figure. If you didn't meet her as a virgin, there's 98% chances that she's a mother to one of the aforementioned categories.
What do I even know sef aside enlightening my fellow men nationwide with the good news

.There are a lot of single mums I agree.
But this only got to prove how irresponsible Nigerian men are.
Or were these women impregnated by their fellow women?