If I Had Known I Would Never Marry - Family (2)

If I Had Known I Would Never Marry - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › If I Had Known I Would Never Marry (5094 Views)

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Tayorshd87(m): 11:02pm On Oct 09, 2024

Nicepoker:
Others said more than this. Today they are singing another song.

No mind am na love still dey shark am 😆

After 6months or 1year now na jide my identity you go see for Facebook

2 Likes

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Tayorshd87(m): 11:05pm On Oct 09, 2024

accused:
These are narrative from friends all around me since I declare my intention that guy it's time I settle down for marriage,but I keep hearing this same words from friends and even my guys abroad. That guy I re very lucky . forget that move and look for a baby mama.

The key is don't marry for LOVE.
marry who loves you more and not who you love more .
Base on your friends statement they are logically right and wrong because MARRIAGE don't have one straight formular or answer.
So I will advice you to go ahead and give it a trial with my little advise above.

You might be lucky to get the best ever 👍

Peace 🕊️

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by accused(op): 11:05pm On Oct 09, 2024

Juliearth:
Thanks dear,for this advice

It's funny how those who are married are advising you not to tow that path. Why are they not considering divorce?

Marriage is just like a Mango fruit. If you choose the right/ripe one, you would enjoy every bit of it. Thus my advise for yo is to marry right. Remember that love is not enough. As a matter of fact, love is the least important ingredient. Look out for compatibility, value, friendship, synergy and do not sweep under the carpet what you consider key.

Need I also say that with the economic reality, ensure that you are financially stable and your partner is financially independent before considering marriage. Investment must greatly supercede liabilities.

All the best!

1 Like

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by cococandy(f): 11:20pm On Oct 09, 2024

But what you said is the opposite of marrying for love. If a man is only marrying based on size of breasts and ass, is that love? That’s not love.

Whereas if they choose a woman who has the other characteristics you mentioned, it’s more likely going to be because of love. Because these are the qualities that will make you truly fall in love with another person and when things get difficult, those are the qualities that will help you both stay in love.

So yes I think you mean to tell men to marry for love.

advanceDNA:
Nor marry for love ...na wetin dey kill guys be that...marry strategically, ....see beyond the superficial....I know its not easy because most men are carnally driven and will first see brezz and shédí bàlà bàlà before they remember to look out for traits like kindness, empathy, team player, humility..etc

At the end of the day....nor overthink am...if u end marrying wèrèy...no let anybody blackmail u with marriage is not for kids so u should remain frustrated, putting up with you wife's crazy behavior.....lè wèrèy sî gbó.....if she nor gree comot....leave am for house...

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Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by tensazangetsu20(m): 3:01am On Oct 10, 2024

There's nobody in the world stronger in mind, body and spirit than a Nigerian married man living in Nigeria.

3 Likes

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Zubeezanga(m): 3:44am On Oct 10, 2024

advanceDNA:
Nor marry for love ...na wetin dey kill guys be that...marry strategically, ....see beyond the superficial....I know its not easy because most men are carnally driven and will first see brezz and shédí bàlà bàlà before they remember to look out for traits like kindness, empathy, team player, humility..etc

At the end of the day....nor overthink am...if u end marrying wèrèy...no let anybody blackmail u with marriage is not for kids so u should remain frustrated, putting up with you wife's crazy behavior.....lè wèrèy sî gbó.....if she nor gree comot....leave am for house...

I will stick to this advice, infact love is a mirage the other traits you mentioned is something everyone should look out for

1 Like

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by sofetrr66: 4:01am On Oct 10, 2024

Oga go and marry o, every mallam to him kettle, i wonder why you should listen to your friends, oh but they are married already, if its that bad why can't they divorce and leave theirs. Nothing in this life comes without its pros and cons...pray you find woman wey like you pass yourself and trust me, you will enjoy the marriage...Stop thinking about baby mama.

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Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Samakus(m): 5:22am On Oct 10, 2024

Tayorshd87:
Good but d excitement might be temporary either like someone said up there that divorce too is an option even when it get worst 😊

Speaking from experience

Yeah. I understand you had an ugly, bitter experience. No wonder you're sounding pained. You're allowed to wallow in your doom/gloom thoughts

My case is always different. Will tag you in our 1 year anniversary and subsequent ones

3 Likes

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Tayorshd87(m): 8:11am On Oct 10, 2024

Samakus:
Yeah. I understand you had an ugly, bitter experience. No wonder you're sounding pained. You're allowed to wallow in your doom/gloom thoughts

My case is always different. Will tag you in our 1 year anniversary and subsequent ones

You are an advance kid or childish act in your blood .

Out of 1000 failed marriages who told u they didn't start more firm than yours 😆😂

Enjoy the bliss while it last bro

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Tayorshd87(m): 8:14am On Oct 10, 2024

cococandy:
But what you said is the opposite of marrying for love. If a man is only marrying based on size of breasts and ass, is that love? That’s not love.

Whereas if they choose a woman who has the other characteristics you mentioned, it’s more likely going to be because of love. Because these are the qualities that will make you truly fall in love with another person and when things get difficult, those are the qualities that will help you both stay in love.

So yes I think you mean to tell men to marry for love.

Yes you got it right .
If they say don't marry for LOVE that I plies that don't look after only the love u have for her/him instead look for other qualities too like what u menti6do u get the rhythm??

1 Like

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Emma09(m): 9:19am On Oct 10, 2024

Love and marriage is a beautiful thing. I got into a very wrong marriage in 2012. After 6 yrs in 2018, I got separated for 5yrs and remarried in 2023. Divorce proceedings is on it's final stage in the court now. My marriage is now a bliss. OP, no let anyone deceive you about marriage o. There are still good and beautiful women out there with a good heart. Just pray make u see a good one like my wife. Omo, My woman is God sent. She has made me forget all my 5yrs of turmoil and wandering around in the wilderness journey of life. I love you more wifey.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Gerrard59(m): 10:21am On Oct 10, 2024

accused:
These are narrative from friends all around me since I declare my intention that guy it's time I settle down for marriage,but I keep hearing this same words from friends and even my guys abroad. That guy I re very lucky . forget that move and look for a baby mama.

The solution is marry someone who LIKES you even though modern women are built not to deeply like men. Have fewer children. Prepare financially for old age. Exercise. Learn to be independent - the reason financial stability is important. While one does not wish for divorce, be open to it. No die put for marriage. That worked then. In an individualistic world, as we have, the era of willing to die for wife and children has passed. Again, have fewer children. All man for himself. God for us all.

Your topic is the same narrative is offered by people who attended top institutions coming to social media to deride the same institution that gave them the opportunities and privileges they enjoy.

P.S. The bold is worse than marrying a woman.

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Gerrard59(m): 10:23am On Oct 10, 2024

Jestin:
I have been married for 9yrs now and never for once regretted my actions. I sometimes feel pity for men above 35yrs and still single . I for nor forgive myself if I was still single at this age

I am curious, why do you pity men in that age group?

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Gerrard59(m): 10:26am On Oct 10, 2024

Jestin:
I am more than happy my brother. Getting married to the right woman is just the koko. Take time to court her and understand each other . I will say it loud again , I have never regretted my actions one day . Sometimes when I go out to chill with my single friends, I kinda feel sorry for some seeing that they re still living the life we lived 12 to 15 ago. Relationship stress, still spending on olosho to cure Konji, still drinking heavily and keeping late nights.

Married men do these as well. That is an individual trait, not dependent on one's marital status. Married women withhold sex from their husbands, so these men resort to going outside. Sex is not free. Every man pays for it at a point. During Buhari's first tenure and the accompanying recession, there were tales of women withholding sex from their husbands and sleeping outside to raise money for the family's welfare.

6 Likes

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by haybhi1(m): 10:35am On Oct 10, 2024

advanceDNA:
Tell him the good side naaaa..

lol no mind am... which good side dey wey pass sex and the children abeg? Make he explain and we might be convinced 🤣🤣🤣

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by advanceDNA: 10:54am On Oct 10, 2024

cococandy:
So yes I think you mean to tell men to marry for love.

Its like a woman(e.g Regina Daniels) who choose money as criteria for marriage..the thing is, she may or may never fall in love the man eventually ...but hey!! The idea is ...money makes life easy..

So the idea is.... if a man goes for a kind, empathy-driven, team playing, respectful woman...while its possible to fall in love with such wonderful person eventually(which is likely), he may not..but hey! It's easier living with a kind person compared to a nasty, wèrèy with big yansh, brezz....

U don't have to be in head over heels in love to identify non-superficial attributes like kindness, respectful, empathy, team playing......if u are not superficial these are the things that should naturally make u fall in love with a person in the first place but most pple are carnally driven and will marry just because of brezz and yansh....

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by legendsofthesee: 10:54am On Oct 10, 2024

If God wan purnish you, make you marry a surface-level pretty girl who brings nothing to the table.. cheesy

you go well well

1 Like

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by pocohantas(f): 10:57am On Oct 10, 2024*

Reminds me of the Nlder who said his mission is to ensure young guys do not marry. Yet he is in America with his NIGERIAN wife, going on trips, receiving gifts from her and eating abacha.

I wonder if you guys do not have parents.
Or your virtuous sisters and mothers are also unhappily married like evil feminists?

Why don't you ever tell us of their marriages?

Why are these advices always from "friends"?

For a set of men who claim not to benefit from marriage, tag me when they are all DIVORCED.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by BigYash: 11:33am On Oct 10, 2024

He who finds a wife,finds a good thing and will enjoy marriage..

But he who finds demonic feminist and coded ashawowo,finds a frustrated life and a troubled home.

Cuz soon or later she will show you shage. Good ladies dey,but out of 10 na 1 just good..

But some guys deserves what they get.. You go break girls heart finish ,and you wan enjoy marriage? Your mind go dey . Na olosho you go marry o .

2 Likes

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by emmaodet: 12:29pm On Oct 10, 2024

advanceDNA:
Nor marry for love ...na wetin dey kill guys be that...marry strategically, ....see beyond the superficial....I know its not easy because most men are carnally driven and will first see brezz and shédí bàlà bàlà before they remember to look out for traits like kindness, empathy, team player, humility..etc

At the end of the day....nor overthink am...if u end marrying wèrèy...no let anybody blackmail u with marriage is not for kids so u should remain frustrated, putting up with you wife's crazy behavior.....lè wèrèy sî gbó.....if she nor gree comot....leave am for house...

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Boomboost(m): 12:40pm On Oct 10, 2024

accused:
These are narrative from friends all around me since I declare my intention that guy it's time I settle down for marriage,but I keep hearing this same words from friends and even my guys abroad. That guy I re very lucky . forget that move and look for a baby mama.

You teach people how to treat you.

A great Marriage is possible, but you need to show her. I recommend watching old movies (30s to 80s on fzmovies) with her, films produced before feminism entered global entertainment industry.

1 Like

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Omoluabi16(m): 1:23pm On Oct 10, 2024

pocohantas:
Reminds me of the Nlder who said his mission is to ensure young guys do not marry. Yet he is in America with his NIGERIAN wife, going on trips, receiving gifts from her and eating abacha.

I wonder if you guys do not have parents.
Or your virtuous sisters and mothers are also unhappily married like evil feminists?

Why don't you ever tell us of their marriages?

Why are these advices always from "friends"?

For a set of men who claim not to benefit from marriage, tag me when they are all DIVORCED.

Just like all those people that will say women are hoes, witches, evil or that men are dogs. But when you mention their mummy or daddy, tears go full everywhere. Maybe some of them do it for the engagement or are just plain bored.

The biggest losers are the ones who follow the opinions of these leaders of thought.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Ishilove: 1:54pm On Oct 10, 2024

pocohantas:
Reminds me of the Nlder who said his mission is to ensure young guys do not marry. Yet he is in America with his NIGERIAN wife, going on trips, receiving gifts from her and eating abacha.

I wonder if you guys do not have parents.
Or your virtuous sisters and mothers are also unhappily married like evil feminists?

Why don't you ever tell us of their marriages?

Why are these advices always from "friends"?

For a set of men who claim not to benefit from marriage, tag me when they are all DIVORCED.

After the backlash he deactivated in shame.

I have one like that who is friends with me on Facebook. He ends all his posts with #DEGM. Don't Ever Get Married, yet this dude celebrates his wife at every given opportunity. One day I asked him why he is celebrating his wife, yet always advocating for people not to marry, and all he could give me was a very convoluted explanation that my brain could not grasp. I don't know if these people have some kind of bipolar disorder that makes them post crap

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Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Samakus(m): 4:17pm On Oct 10, 2024

Tayorshd87:
[s][s]You are an advance kid or childish act in your blood [/s].

[s]Out of 1000 failed marriages who told u they didn't start more firm than yours [/s]😆😂
[/s]
Enjoy the bliss ~~while it last bro~~

I will.

Cheers

4 Likes

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Nnamdipapa(m): 5:46pm On Oct 10, 2024

accused:
These are narrative from friends all around me since I declare my intention that guy it's time I settle down for marriage,but I keep hearing this same words from friends and even my guys abroad. That guy I re very lucky . forget that move and look for a baby mama.

My dear friend, you don't know what you have until you get married. Most people are merely enduring their marriages and deeply stuck without a way of getting out. If you have friends who are open to you about their marriages, consider yourself lucky.

I would advise a successful young man never to marry, focus on yourself and career and if you need a child, get a girlfriend pregnant.
There is really nothing in a marriage for a man. Even the constant sex and companionship is never a guarantee as married men are the most sex starved on Nairaland today and in the country.
Do not give up your autonomy and freedom for the yoke of marriage.

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Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by pocohantas(f): 7:29pm On Oct 10, 2024

Omoluabi16:
Just like all those people that will say women are hoes, witches, evil or that men are dogs. But when you mention their mummy or daddy, tears go full everywhere. Maybe some of them do it for the engagement or are just plain bored.

The biggest losers are the ones who follow the opinions of these leaders of thought.

Why will you follow such when you get mama or papa. I believe in balance. If you tell me red flags to avoid or lessons you have learned, then we can talk. But to say marriage is terrible when you are inside your own. Come out first. There are people like me who don't judge. Marriage no be do or die.

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Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by pocohantas(f): 7:34pm On Oct 10, 2024

Ishilove:
After the backlash he deactivated in shame.

I have one like that who is friends with me on Facebook. He ends all his posts with #DEGM. Don't Ever Get Married, yet this dude celebrates his wife at every given opportunity. One day I asked him why he is celebrating his wife, yet always advocating for people not to marry, and all he could give me was a very convoluted explanation that my brain could not grasp. I don't know if these people have some kind of bipolar disorder that makes them post crap

And came back in another moniker. Though he is subtle now.

This your FB's friend is the height of it. Celebrating his while heading an anti-marriage hashtag is diabolical😂😂.

If they see singles, they will still shame them. As marriage is this terrible and unbeneficial to men, why shaming anyone for not being married? It has to be bipolar because try as I may, I have never understood this recurring anti-marriage rants from the male folks here.

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Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Nnamdipapa(m): 7:39pm On Oct 10, 2024

pocohantas:
Why will you follow such when you get mama or papa. I believe in balance. If you tell me red flags to avoid or lessons you have learned, then we can talk. But to say marriage is terrible when you are inside your own. Come out first. There are people like me who don't judge. Marriage no be do or die.

A lot of people are stuck in unhappy marriages. Some are unwilling to divorce because of how to manage the process and effect of divorce on the kids. Overall I never shame singles and would not advice a successful young man to marry.

2 Likes

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Kobojunkie: 7:44pm On Oct 10, 2024

accused:
These are narrative from friends all around me since I declare my intention that guy it's time I settle down for marriage,but I keep hearing this same words from friends and even my guys abroad. That guy I re very lucky . forget that move and look for a baby mama.

Look for a baby mama who will make your life miserable. Why not fly solo instead? undecided

1 Like

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Kobojunkie: 7:45pm On Oct 10, 2024

Tallesty1:
Person living with his wife is telling you to stay single that it's the best thing after salvation but they are still with their wives. It's not like divorce is forbidden or something.

Mumus like OP are unfortunately born every minute! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1 Like 1 Share

Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by pocohantas(f): 7:46pm On Oct 10, 2024

Nnamdipapa:
A lot of people are stuck in unhappy marriages. Some are unwilling to divorce because of how to manage the process and effect of divorce on the kids. Overall I never shame singles and would not advice a successful young man to marry.

Being unhappily married is worse for kids. You are an adult with will, so please come out of your bad marriage. If there is anything acceptable, it is practical lessons on where and how you got it wrong.

The successful young men shouldn't marry and when they don't, they should allow us hear word. Some of us do not notice who is married or not. Neither do we use it as a yardstick or shaming tool.

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Re: If I Had Known I Would Never Marry by Kobojunkie: 7:47pm On Oct 10, 2024

AKWATGOLD1:
That is just the naked truth from the friends that like you.

Why him friends never divorce if say na the truth them talk? undecided

1 Like

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