₦airaland Forum

MadamVanessa:




That's for those that sees marriage as an achievement or winning laurel. However, those of us who have experienced it firsthand, we've realize it's overrated. Having tasted marriage and discovered its limitations, i no longer swayed by societal pressures. I value my independence and freedom above all else.

.
Like every good thing in life. Marriage requireds a lot of commitments and sacrifices, selfless love.
wirh the right partner things can be good.(Married for more than 13 years) Marriage is not for everyone, there are too many sacrifices for many to understand.

MadamVanessa:




That's for those that sees marriage as an achievement or winning laurel. However, those of us who have experienced it firsthand, we've realize it's overrated. Having tasted marriage and discovered its limitations, i no longer swayed by societal pressures. I value my independence and freedom above all else.

Nah Dem be this..pls don't follow...run!!!

Ishilove:
Preach, Brother Stagger

Stagger's last point should be what we focus on. I mean, the gen z we see today, who do what they do, are products of gen x and y, atleast they're the parents of these children.

This goes to show how we have failed at bringing these children up. What I see them do these days, I ask myself "do these people have parents"? Think about it, Ishi, why is it when Gen X and Gen Y started getting married, and reproducing that marriage became polluted and corrupted like Nigeria?

Why didn't all what we see today happen during the era of boomers. I mean boomers produced us, heck! Just look at what we are producing now... 😐

drstranged:
Marrying is also not difficult. It's marrying the right person that's actually difficult

very correct, if you marry a wrong person, marriage will be hell and endurance ,

Sonnobax15:
. It seems this account has been hacked . Cuz the Righteousness2 wey I know reach house won't laugh in a worldly way like this

Back to the topic,the truth is that relationship of nowadays has turned into something else........Guys been complaining of unfaithful bannies and the same useless bannies been complaining of not meeting responsible guys......the truth is that in 5-10 years time from now, marriage and relationship must have lost their values in this country..

Not in my home and not for my offsprings. The kind of company and the kind of knowledge you seek are what you'll get. I will always advice people, when going into relationship. Disregard the things that are flashy. Pray and you'll see the real thing. It is not surprising that the Ghanaian teenage porn star is becoming a motivational speaker. People have lost it!

drehdinho:
I laugh when I read somewhere in this thread that the same is applicable to men.

A man doesn't have any problem getting a woman to marry. In fact, he can always drop one and move to another. The society won't count it as anything.

A lady can't do that. Is either she goes into a marriage where she's broken for the rest of her life or get it right.

The Op is saying the truth.

A lady that confuses men admiration to acceptance will end up being damaged.

A lot of men would want to sleep with you but are never ready to take you serious as a woman. And if care is not taking if such lady fails to discipline herself, she may end up in Shiloh just as the Op has rightly stated.

when you want to marry you will realize that most of the girls you are sleeping with are not good enough for marriage.if you marry a wrong person you are doomed. You can die before you time, you wife can make you kids hate you. Bros look well , it's a serious matter

illicit:
Exactly

It's same for every gender

To date no be big problem, but to marry (the right person) hard o

not about marrying right person. Even to find commitment from the wrong man is hard

Modern days attitude of entitlement and laziness on part of many ladies is affecting them to settle maritally .
Some of them has no wife or motherly attribute as they think beauty is enough to earn them wedding ring unknown to them that an average serious minded man is looking for honor ,respect and industrious traits in the life of a potential wife .

MadamVanessa:




That's for those that sees marriage as an achievement or winning laurel. However, those of us who have experienced it firsthand, we've realize it's overrated. Having tasted marriage and discovered its limitations, i no longer swayed by societal pressures. I value my independence and freedom above all else.

This is off topic. “Those of you “ are the types that reflect their marital grievances and bad experiences unto the young ladies that want to marry .
Because it did not work or not working for you doesn’t mean it is not working or will work for others.

Enjoy your independence but you can never truly enjoy freedom if you are still have bitter aftertaste of marriage.

MadamVanessa:




That's for those that sees marriage as an achievement or winning laurel. However, those of us who have experienced it firsthand, we've realize it's overrated. Having tasted marriage and discovered its limitations, i no longer swayed by societal pressures. I value my independence and freedom above all else.

Limitations from what exactly?

MadamVanessa:




That's for those that sees marriage as an achievement or winning laurel. However, those of us who have experienced it firsthand, we've realize it's overrated. Having tasted marriage and discovered its limitations, i no longer swayed by societal pressures. I value my independence and freedom above all else.

Ma'am,no human is truly "free" or "independent" as you stated.

Such person can only exist in the woods. Alone without any form of human interactions and you know such person woudnt last for long.

Mind you,i was a rebel and still am but they're some realities i realize i can't escape and have to accept it. Humans,or the society will always have an amount of influence over your life.

The only thing is this influence defer across individuals. Some people are more stubborn than others but dosent mean society wouldn't influenced them,even if it's just slightly.

MadamVanessa:




That's for those that sees marriage as an achievement or winning laurel. However, those of us who have experienced it firsthand, we've realize it's overrated. Having tasted marriage and discovered its limitations, i no longer swayed by societal pressures. I value my independence and freedom above all else.

You having a failed marriage doesn't automatically makes it a failed institution

Yankee101:
Absolutely

They think the number of men that want to sleep with them will also want to marry them

Then it’s time to marry and almost all of them they’ve slept with are not interested

A women who preserves her purity is a hot sell anytime any day

True but preserving purity is no longer enough these days .
Many of the preserve purity gang are dumb as a duck, act too entitled and dependent because they have preservation of purity ...others are on overdrive pedal nagging anyone who come their way and reminding them of their preserved purity .

To marry, seek the face of God, walk with real humility and an open mind
...also ensure you have a level of financial and social independence...

Finally, remember that Bad character is like a bad tire in a car- You can't go anywhere untill u fix it.

Wealthoptulent:
So have you toiled to get one ?
You can check TEMU or Ali Express



once their Customer until i received my very fess Parcel
i dont think they ship to Africa

Is Temu not delivering to Africa?
Just bought two clothes from them yesterday and I hope they will deliver.

Wealthoptulent:
So have you toiled to get one ?
You can check TEMU or Ali Express



once their Customer until i received my very fess Parcel
i dont think they ship to Africa

luminouz:
Divorced late night newspaper has spoken ..
Loneliness dey kill you but you dey form....shiooiir

Lo

Single life na freedom
Oh
Sometimes I done even go out with my old friends because when we see na marriage them go they preach for me .
I can’t because of pressure go marry and end up divorcing marrying another one

I pray to marry only woman 1 👩 not 2 .
So is better to calm down and pick the right one

I don't think it's actually hard for a man to find a woman to marry. During my time, na every woman wey I be dey date be won tie me down for marriage I was dribbling and deceiving most of them.
I think the issue with men is that they're usually very picky about the woman they wish to settle down with.

MadamVanessa:




That's for those that sees marriage as an achievement or winning laurel. However, those of us who have experienced it firsthand, we've realize it's overrated. Having tasted marriage and discovered its limitations, i no longer swayed by societal pressures. I value my independence and freedom above all else.

Coming from a stupid promiscuous preek

I agree with you on this. I was also once married, and it turned out to be the greatest delusion humans can subject themselves to. It is torture for two people to be bound for life. It is against human nature. The older people who have done it merely endured. Is that life? Lets have open relationships and coparent if kids are involved.

MadamVanessa:




That's for those that sees marriage as an achievement or winning laurel. However, those of us who have experienced it firsthand, we've realize it's overrated. Having tasted marriage and discovered its limitations, i no longer swayed by societal pressures. I value my independence and freedom above all else.

Go to shiloh come mean wetin?
Lol. Is that a solution?

MadamVanessa:




That's for those that sees marriage as an achievement or winning laurel. However, those of us who have experienced it firsthand, we've realize it's overrated. Having tasted marriage and discovered its limitations, i no longer swayed by societal pressures. I value my independence and freedom above all else.

one of the most reasonable text I have see on nairaland

Most girls in their prime toy and joke with men, even breaking several hearts in the process. Some realize that their prime may soon be over and just seize one boy and get serious. Others don't know when time expired and only realise too late...na then the mountain and shiloh waka go start

Shiloh is next week ooo

In the book "the art of manipulation". Men need dating more so women have the power to manipulate men, women need marriage more so men has the power to manipulate women

MadamVanessa:


That's for those that sees marriage as an achievement or winning laurel. However, those of us who have experienced it firsthand, we've realize it's overrated. Having tasted marriage and discovered its limitations, i no longer swayed by societal pressures. I value my independence and freedom above all else.

Independence to be wayward and morally indiscipline, my guess. My wife has freedom and independence, and so do I. I don't know the kind of independence and freedom you might probably want other than being loose

illicit:
Exactly

It's same for every gender

To date no be big problem, but to marry (the right person) hard o

You don't know what you are talking about. To get a girl to date is like a war for more than 50% of guys.

adams123:
Did u call this one a pastor? Is unfortunate!

So if call him "babalawo" shey u go happy?

stagger:
Those that feel it is overrated either had unrealistic expectations about it, or got married to someone who did not bring value to the union.
Some of us got married to women that brought and added heavy value to the union, while also getting it back in multiple fold from us. But again, I am an older Gen X guy. Na my children wey I dey fear for with the kind of mentality the Gen Zs have.

Thank you. I'm better with my marriage, na collabo back to back and we're winning big time!

pocohantas:
Lol! It is the delulu of the ones here who are always quick to mention high value male. The supposed high value males never throw that word around. Continue whining yourselves with the desirability of Elon Musk and Ronaldo while being stuck in Ogbomoso.

😅😅😅

MadamVanessa:




That's for those that sees marriage as an achievement or winning laurel. However, those of us who have experienced it firsthand, we've realize it's overrated. Having tasted marriage and discovered its limitations, i no longer swayed by societal pressures. I value my independence and freedom above all else.

You're a marriage drop out. Your paltry experience is not enough to rate marriage.

Everyone that failed will always come out to talk down on that which he/she failed in just to cover up the failure or romance his/her failed ego.

Deep inside, you grieve about the failure, because you need more ppl in that group of failed ppl, you'll never say anything good about marriage for you to be able to win more souls.

Satanic pattern.

StUriah:
You don't seem to get the drift.

Marriage shouldn't be seen as an achievement or winning laurel. It is more of how you want to live at a later stage of your life [not really about true love perse]. It's all about finding and staying with a partner to achieve a common agenda (true, there may be love, but love alone cannot sustain the rigors of time. What keeps you standing is the bond - the promise - to be there for one another when the world feels heavy.)

In the winter of your years, when vulnerability creeps in and the crowds thin out, your spouse will likely be the one constant, the anchor when all else drifts away.

Even the children you nurture with your blood and sweat may eventually step into their own worlds. Their priorities will shift toward their own families, their own futures. They will love you, yes, but their ability to be present will ebb. In those moments, the one who will sit beside you, no matter how turbulent or tranquil the season, is your life partner - the one you chose, or failed to choose, with wisdom.

Life has a way of humbling us. Youth fades, strength wanes, and wealth’s allure diminishes. Money may grant you access to comforts, but it cannot buy the warmth of a hand that reaches for yours in the darkness. It cannot purchase devotion, loyalty, or the quiet presence of someone who genuinely cares whether you rise or fall.

Your friends, too, will scatter into their own lives, forming circles that may no longer include you. And if you’ve built your life on fleeting pleasures or empty pursuits, you may find yourself standing alone, a lone ranger in the wilderness of loneliness. Yes, your money might buy you on & off love peddlers, gold diggers, maidservants, or paid care givers, but their presence will never fill the void of genuine connection.

So, think deeply, before setting out on paths that lead to emptiness. Don’t let the shine of the present blind you to the shadows of the future. Choose wisely now, so that regret does not become your companion in the years to come.

@madamVanessa, I hope you have read this? These are words of wisdom from a sage.

If you wanna reconsider your stance about marriage, I can be your sure plug. I still like you though!